INVISIBILITY IS NOT A SUPER POWER

TUESDAY

The doctor walked into the exam room and introduced herself.

I said, "hello," and she said, "I'm fine, how are you?"

I hesitated for a moment then said, "I said hello."

She dissembled into a word salad that meant nothing and I just had to proceed with the conversation because clearly I was alone in the room.  Or she was. Either way - I knew that my invisibility had kicked in again and that I would probably not be able to get this woman to see or hear me. She was in her own head.

We talked about a couple things, but most important was the 3-month renewal of my medication. I told her several times what they were and how often they are taken. There are only two, but she could not keep more than one in her head. Of course, that information is in my file, but someone who is preoccupied with what is going on inside her head won't be able to see that either. 

We finished the "conversation," and she left the room saying that the medical assistant would be in shortly.

I waited. And I waited. And I waited. 20 minutes passed, and I just knew that when the doctor left the office she had promptly forgotten me and moved on to the next patient without telling the assistant that she was done with me. I wandered out into the echoing, empty halls and wondered if they'd closed for lunch and just locked me in!  Fortunately, no.  I wandered around saying, "anybody here?"  "Hello?" My voice echoed against beige medicinal walls. The rooms were empty. The nurse's station was unmanned.

Finally, I found my way to the waiting room and told the front desk clerk I had been forgotten. She looked at me blankly.  The assistant walked PAST me and I had to grab her and tell her, "did you guys forget me?"

She said that the doctor had not given her my file to let her know that she was done with me. I told her I had been waiting for 20 minutes, and her eyes opened wide at that news.

I told her that I would stay in the waiting room.

More chaos ensued.

She brought me a piece of paper that was supposed to have my future appointments and my medications on it. I tried to get her to stay with me and answer some questions, but she was just too busy, so she left me there to contemplate a list of appointments with doctors I have never heard of, and a long list of medications that I do not take.

"Hey!" I yelled after her, "This is somebody else's."

It took her a minute to understand, but when she did, she rushed over to grab it back from me.

From across the waiting room, another senior patient was watching this circus. I caught her glance.  She rolled her eyes and looked heavenward in an expression I completely understood. I was not invisible to her, and felt grateful for it.

I explained to the medical assistant that one of the medications was missing. ("How many times and to how many people do I have to repeat this?" I asked myself.) She left to fix it and returned with another paper that she thrust on me, then quickly left.

I sat down to read it, determined not to leave without it being fixed.

Sure enough, one of my two medications was still missing and there was no appointment listed with my regular doctor - the two things for which I had this appointment.

I called her back but she said she could not fix it and I would have to speak to someone later.

That was two days ago and the medication snafu is still not fixed. More phone calls to ensue!

WEDNESDAY

THE DAY AFTER the medical appointment, I dealt with invisibility again. There was a man sitting in a truck outside my apartment, with his truck sitting right in the middle of the lane, with various tools and a randomly placed red barrier sitting cattywumpus in relation to nothing in particular. "Mobile Screen and Glass" was emblazoned on one door. 

When I left on my mobility scooter, with my dog trotting alongside me,  he had been there for half an hour, reading his phone that was in his lap. I hoped he would not be there much longer because I needed to leave, but when the dog and I returned 20 minutes later, he was still there, meditating on his lap, blocking everyone.

I kept trying to talk to this guy to ask him if he could move to the curb instead of just sitting in the middle of the only exit lane, but every time I opened my mouth, he closed his window on me!  I could also direct him to a CLOSER parking spot, but could not get his attention. At one point, he said he wasn't going to move unless and until someone needed to leave, but I was obviously not going to be able to walk up two flights of stairs to FIND him and tell him when I needed him to move, so I got him to roll down the window again and asked him not to roll it up on me. He announced, "well, I was finished," and he rolled it up again, as I began to try to get a sentence out of my mouth. This was a different variety of invisibility. This was a self-involved, distracted man who wanted me to disappear and got mad at me for not complying with his wish. 

When people behave like this, the temptation is to take it personally. People will blame this invisibility on old age, presuming that old age is so unattractive that it calls out for invisibility. But that is not what is happening here, with this man or with the doctor I had to deal with the day before. The apparent invisibility is part of the overarching problem of egotism and self-involvement of the seer, not anything having to do with the SEEN. It just expresses itself in different ways, depending on the situation.

This is not something I concluded by my own little self.

THE PRESCRIPTION OF JESUS

One thing that helped me greatly while I was in the Hindu convent was the exposure to Catholicism that I received through the many books about the Catholic and Orthodox monastics and mystics which later inspired me join the Catholic Church, where Jesus addresses natural egocentrism with a prescription that is echoed throughout the New Testament in which he constantly admonishes us to get our minds off of ourselves.

He tells Peter to feed his sheep and feed his lambs. He tells us not to invite anyone to a banquet who can afford to pay us back. He tells us to feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, care for the sick and visit the prisoner.  He tells us to examine the big plank in our own eye before taking the speck out of the eye of the other. He tells us only to criticize if we ourselves are without sin. He continually points our attention to "the other" who is unable to reciprocate. 

"For I was hungry and you gave me food,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you welcomed me,
I was naked and you gave me clothing,
I was sick and you took care of me,
I was in prison and you visited me."
Matthew 25:35-36

I have read many times about how older folks "become invisible," but I believe it has much less to do with the seen than the seer.  It isn't "My" invisibility at all! It is just a by-product of the self-absorption of other folks whose minds are preoccupied with the dance of the mind that the Hindus and Buddhists called "Monkey Mind."

When the attention of the "seer" is focused on their own inner turmoil, what is seen is not the person in front of them. It is only when the SEEN appears to be able to satisfy that inner turmoil inside the SEER that the seer will turn their attention outward, but they are still really only seeing THROUGH their their own personal impulsions, desires, chaos...whatever. Rarely will they "see" the actual person standing there.

SEEING THE OTHER IS AN ACT OF LOVE

But isn't is wonderful when one feels seen and heard? You can tell when someone sees you. It is magical, partly because it is so unusual and, as such, an incredible release. It is the stuff that love is made of. Not specifically romantic love...but all love.

So - if we are going to love our "Neighbor," which means everyone with whom we come into contact, we have to make an effort to see them. Really see them.

As a side note, I will point out that gossip is typically a violation of love because it is not grounded in a love that sees the person being slandered.

The training that I received in  how to coach the mind to move off of itself and onto The Lord helped to demonstrate to me the remedy for the selfishness that is natural to most of us. (There are other ancillary bennies also, but I won't focus on those.)

When you think about it, this struggle toward purification of the ego and clarifying of vision harkens back to the stories about Satan who is the personification of egotism which, one way or another, we are encouraged to abandon. When we renew our baptismal vows, we renounce Satan. In doing that, we renounce egotism and every other evil thing Satan represents. The degree to which we are able to do that is the degree to which we grow closer to God and become "perfect, as our Heavenly Father is perfect."

It is a long process, and it is not easy. There are lots of bumps and hiccups on the way, but it is worth the effort.

Even Jesus's prescription to forgive those who have hurt us and pray for our enemies also serves to take our attention, once more, from ourselves (our feelings) and onto the other, instead. 

Knowing what I know about this process has enabled me to detach from the frustration I experience when I am treated as if I am invisible. At the very least, it is difficult to get the business of life accomplished, such as the right prescriptions for the right patient! 

I am reminded by Jesus to pray for these frustrating people, and, when possible, advocate for them and their welfare. 

Since becoming disabled and falling into a lower socio-economic strata, prayer and teaching meditation are the only things I can do for others. At times, I miss the other service projects, but I am working hard on accepting God's will for me in all things, including this, so, in addition to remembering to pray for friends and other good people, I have to make a point to pray for the people who exorcise their mental chaos on me.

Feel free to contact me if you have the need, and I will be happy to add you to my prayer journal. Likewise if you have any questions about meditation, I will be happy to talk about that as well. Leave your email address with a message in the comment section, which will NOT be published, and I will contact you.

In the meantime, may we all be blessed!

Amen.

Silver Rose

THE FINAL POST - FOR THE TIME BEING

 

View from the hermitage

by

Silver S. Parnell

(c) copyright 2020

All rights reserved.

As much as I love researching and writing this blog diary of my life in the modern urban hermitage, this will be the last post for some time.

At some point I intend to re-work the information about the mostly little-known saints, paint or sketch some representatives of them, and publish a small book. 

I am not finished researching the lesser-known saints, so it is likely that I will return to writing when I am feeling more fresh.

Almost all my posts have involved many hours of research and creative writing, but it is hard to find the time for this, since I am physically disabled and it is taking me longer and longer to accomplish basic tasks of survival. This is the primary issue that challenges me at the moment.

On the other hand, because I am able to do little else than sit in this recliner, the time spent while sitting here may as well be dedicated to working for the glory of God when I am not praying. 

Two years ago, I was approved for a caregiver of 28 hours a week, and I have tried throughout that time to get a caregiver through the approved agencies, but there are none to be had in the present economy. I have written about some of these experiences.

The problem seems to be that no one wants to do this type of work for what Medicaid will pay, unless they are a family member who is already taking care of a relative. This is why, every time I signed up with another agency in hope of finding some help, they also asked me, "don't you have a relative you can bring with you? 

There ARE some caregivers doing this type of work in this town, but apparently, most are demanding CASH payment, then hiding their income to avoid paying taxes. This is short-sighted, because when they themselves become disabled or retire, they will have to live off the money that other folks have put into the system, and will thereby drain it of its resources and hurt the economy and the taxpayers as a result. Even if I had the cash to pay one of these people, I would not want to participate in an illegal scheme. I will say, however, that this trend of refusing to pay people a living wage has got to change in America. It really does. Far fewer people will feel compelled to dodge the taxman with illegal schemes if they don't have to go hungry to stay within the law while working a full time job!

To be honest, it was never my idea to have a blog to begin with. It was suggested by a friend who, aware of the tradition of the laity supporting monastics, thought  it might help support me, but I suspect that she was as uninformed as I was about the practicalities of how this would work.

Also, the interest in connecting with other contemplatives has lessened while there have appeared a new crop of automated "prayer" apps for one's computer and telephone. This mirrors a general trend of people shifting away from contact with other humans, and replacing them with mechanical servants, which is really too bad. I think we will find, in future, that it is detrimental to the human spirit to do this.

I am already finding that hardly anyone will answer a telephone call any more. They flatly refuse to respond to anything but a text, which is difficult for a disabled person, especially those of us who are blind in one eye!

I will keep this blog active, and you will still be able to contact me through the comments, if the need arises, and the DONATE button (underneath my photo, above right) will also work. 

Please pray for me, as I pray for you, and look for my books in future. I will come here and tell everyone about it when we have a publication date.

In the meantime, may we all be blessed!

Silver Rose

FIGHTING EVIL IN THE WORLD

 

There is a tendency among some to assume that humans have been on earth for so long that we have evolved to the point where evil instincts and character have become nearly extinct. We no longer put people in the stocks in the middle of town and throw garbage at them. We don't draw and quarter criminals in the public square, and we've stopped labeling women as "witches" and burning them alive as a civic act.

Despite the paucity of these outward extreme demonstrations of evil, the instincts still remain in the hearts of people who have chosen that path. I call it a path because it IS a road to a destination that still exists. Yes, I am talking about Hell.

Most people do not want to "believe in" Hell, and I grew up disputing it also. Despite a brutal childhood in which I was tortured by one parent and neglected by the other, I was certain that my parents were the rare exception and that most people operated from a position of love and peace, and that no one was perfect and therefore most people weren't actually evil, per se, but only failed to accomplish the good that I assumed was the aspiration of all. Consequently, I spent the first 2 decades of my adult life looking for those good people and failing most of the time.

I went out into the world imagining that most of society's families were represented by John Boy and his kin from "The Waltons" and not by the members of my natal family, who behaved in a maleficent way toward me. In my 20's, I remember frequently expounding on the nature of humans and insisting that "everyone is basically good," and things of that nature. Kumbaya, let's all hold hands and dance and sing happy songs.

As any reader might expect, I was a sitting duck for every con artist, thief and predator in the neighborhood. To this day, the evil of this world still has the capacity to occasionally surprise or shock me, but instead of having faith in the goodness of humans, I now only have faith in the goodness of God, and I have dedicated myself entirely to Him for the last twenty years.

Like many religious "hermits" not fortunate enough to be in possession of family money, I live in  a "low-income apartment" on the edge of town and try to live as quietly as possible, duplicating the ashram experience I had while living with the Vedantists, to the extent possible. Naturally, the worldly folk with whom I share a somewhat cramped space, are not in tune with my aspirations, and some are actively hostile toward them.

Two young women have moved into my building and immediately began causing chaos. During a freak arctic weather event, when snow and ice covered the property for several days, they parked in the middle of the driveway, blocking 5 residents' cars, rather than parking in their assigned space. Across the windshield of that car in LARGE white letters, is the very odd saying, spelled out in full, "F--K THE POPULATION."

This is a puzzling saying that I'd never seen before, and I was surprised to see anyone displaying such a blatantly hostile and anti-social motto on their windshield. 

According to the Urban Dictionary:

"A term used by a person who has seen through the bulls..t of humans who do not think and cause harm because they are so brainless.

It means that you highly dislike humans as a whole because of the way they about doing things.

“Hey do you wanna go out to make more friends?”
“No f--k the population they’re all sheeple anyway."

I also learned that there is a company  that uses that epithet as its moniker for its line of clothing (togs for the angry youth, I expect!)

Despite being warned to keep their cars in their own space, the other day they had a woman park in front of my garage and block me from being able to put my car in there. When I asked the visitor to move, she became belligerent and ridiculous, telling me that the space belonged to the apartment building,  anyone could park there, and other nonsense, in utter disregard for all the prominent signs that say "no parking," what to speak of the OBVIOUS garage between the two "no parking" signs on the wall right in front of her nose. (I call this "convenience blindness" - a condition in which the sufferer only sees, hears or perceives what is pleasant and conducive to their own interests and designs.)

When I told her to move her car (again) she became enraged and flipped out. She set upon me with filthy words, insinuations of imminent harm that was to come to me, at the same time that three others flew out of the building to join her in harassing me. They descended on me like demons from hell, pressing in on me within inches, flailing and shrieking - pushing finger gestures into my face. One of them, the owner of that car that displays that awful saying, (or the partner of the other woman who owns it), had patches of old pink and blue dye in her hair. Her eyes were wild, her blotchy skin advertised her degraded habits. She kept turning to her companions and whooping loudly, "I told you that f--king old b--ch was gonna be a problem."  I could almost see the spit flying from her mouth during her flagitious assault and I was glad I'd had my 2nd Covid shot.

My car door was slightly ajar, and they tried to block me from getting into it to get away from them. The stout middle-aged woman who'd started all this pressed her body into the car door, trying to keep me from getting into my vehicle. I could smell the odor of stale alcohol. When I finally managed to squeeze between the open door and the door jam, she again threatened to do something to me, I'm not quite sure what. It was a big word salad. All I wanted to do was get away from this insane crowd of raving maniacs.

I honked my horn, in the vain hope that someone would come and make them stop - but despite plenty of people witnessing this - they let it go on. There were no heroes that day, and very often this is the case. Few will come to the aid of the vulnerable when they are being bushwhacked. Meanwhile, I was stuck in my car, without my telephone, unable to leave, with the faces of four people pressed against my windows who continued to gesture wildly. They were like rabid animals.

Thinking I would drive away and just escape this situation, I turned on the car and two of them jumped in front of it, pulling my traffic cone in front of my bumper so I could not leave. Meanwhile, the other two pressed their faces into the glass, while they cursed and used vulgar hand gestures. All sorts of things were said.

Eventually, after about 20 minutes of haranguing me, they got bored I suppose and moved away. I got out of my car and limped into my apartment, called the police, emailed the apartment management, and gathered my wits.

Shortly afterward, a resident who saw the whole thing, came down to check on me and make sure I was OK. She told me that her husband didn't want her to "get involved" because he was "afraid that those neighbors would target them." The vulnerable are left without protection or advocate, most of the time.

The crux of the problem is that there is no visitor parking in this entire complex of 75 units, save for about 4 spots near the mail boxes in the middle of the property - none of which are labeled as such. There is a very convenient looking space in front of my garage door, right next to the building, and despite plenty of signage saying "no parking" etc., people park there anyway. If/when I place a physical blockage in front of it, I will have to greatly inconvenience myself by having to get out of the car and move it every time I came in or out. After this recent experience, if the management doesn't provide them, I will have to find the money somewhere to get some large and heavy traffic cones myself. (I have requested them before, but they refused me.)

Unfortunately, as I have reported before, the fairly new manager of this complex is in harmony with those who are breaking the law, flouting the rules and hurting the elderly and disabled residents who are forced to live here by virtue of the poverty that provides them few choices. The other elderly and disabled residents tell me that they are afraid to complain, for fear of retaliation, and I don't blame them. It is a real concern, when the person charged with sheltering the vulnerable appears to despise them.

Many times I have scoured the town for other affordable housing that would provide more space and a safer environment, but wishing doesn't make it so. The other "low-income" housing facilities are even worse than this one.

After the incident, I did consult with a police officer about what had happened. He told me that "in this town," people have been killed for less than asking someone to leave a parking spot, that assaults on elderly and disabled people "happen all the time in Albuquerque," and that the legal process isn't much help, unless someone kills you. Welcome to the wild west.

Given the motto emblazoned across the windshield of my assailants' car in big letters, none of this should be a surprise, but I have to say that it is very difficult to live a retired life of prayer under these circumstances. It is no wonder that cenobitic monasticism became a "thing" and the previously hermit-like nuns and monks began to live together. In addition to other benefits, protection from the evil of the world is at least a possibility. But I am not a good candidate for inclusion in someone else's group, for several reasons - not the least of which is that I am of no practical use to any institution, unless they value my spiritual gifts highly. No one is THAT other-worldly. In addition, I have my own mission, and my writing and creative art projects. After spending decades as an independent monastic, and ruling myself alone, it isn't likely I could easily come under the domination of any other group, even if they wanted me, which no one does.

Given all the circumstances, it does not seem possible to escape the aggressions of antisocial humans without some outside help and, since that is clearly  not being offered, I will need to adopt a coping tactic. Jesus, Buddha, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi all advocated for peaceful nonviolence, which isn't easy, of course - but I can't go the route of retaliation because then I would also be in harmony with evil people, and I do not want that. Besides which, it isn't my temperament and never has been.

The moment I would give myself over to retaliation, I would literally be on the road to Hell, in company with villainous companions. At the very least, I have to submerge my mind in the Divine, even if I cannot take my body to a safe place. I must continue to maintain sacred mental and spiritual space around me, if sacred physical space is not possible. At the same time, I rely on God's sure hand to guide me and the intercessory prayers of Mary and my well-wishers to give power to the spiritual space. I hope it will be enough to protect me from real harm. If not, I will be in good company.

I hope you will pray for my success in doing so.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

SAINT AILERAN - "SAPIENS THE WISE"

SAINT AILERAN

aka "Aireran", "Ercran" and 

"Sapiens the Wise" or "Aireran an teagnaidh"

{Aireran the Wise}

During the time between Christmas and New Years, my personal tradition is to try to get a jump on my New Years' resolutions, which usually include greater simplicity in the household and in my clothing. This typically will involve giving a lot to the poor - but I have already done that, and the only things left are clothings that, though WAY too big for me, I must keep because I have nothing else until I can make myself a wardrobe.

In the interest of our poor ecology, and with deference to my multiple allergies to chemicals, I try only to use natural fabrics when I make clothes. This means cotton, wool, linen and silk. It is ironic that these natural things are customarily more expensive than artificial fabrics that ruin the environment, but even though linen is more expensive than polyester, making my own clothing from linen is STILL less expensive than buying ready-made clothing. The robes and dresses I make will accommodate future weight loss so I don't have to do this again, and the type of clothing best suited to my needs can't be found among the ready-made options anyway. This year will be a year of tying up loose ends, simplifying, sewing, and preparing for a period of greater attention to my monastic routine

Resolutions for 2021 include pulling myself away from too much attention to political matters. Lord willing, I will finish the first draft of my novel. I will make myself a simple "capsule" wardrobe, including home-knit socks that I have to learn how to make. I would like to lose another 40 pounds. I hope to survive the Covid era. Those are my only real resolutions, though I have many projects in the queue. During social isolation, I will not be bored.

One of my perennial projects is the study of and meditation on some of the saints I find inspiring.  Being a Celtic gal, I am rather partial to the saints with Irish and Scottish links. In today's case, the saint was also a monastic as well as a highly intellectual type and a writer who penned a biography of Saint Patrick, as well as one (each) for Saints Brigid and Finian.

Saint Patrick

(Aileran wrote the 4th life of St. Patrick)

Apparently, Aileron was a highly esteemed scholar at the Abbey of Clonard, having been welcomed to it by Saint Finian himself. The modern "Clonard Monastery" is not the same facility. It is a more modern place, in the center of busy West Belfast in Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom.

Saint Finian of Clonard

Clonard Abbey, where Saints Aileran and Finian resided, used to sit on the River Boyne which is now in the Republic of Ireland, which is an independent country that is not part of the U.K. It is in the County of Meath, and the village of Clonard is very near.

This is a photo of the approximate monastic site of Clonard, courtesy of Andreas F. Borchert. [See: LINK]

Site of former Clonard Abbey

In the year 650, Saint Aileran was made Rector of the Abbey, though it is hard to imagine him taking on the extra duties, considering the scholarly works he produced, as well as the fact that he became proficient in Latin and Greek during his time there, and proceeded to translate ancient works in those languages.

A fragment of his Short Moral Explanation of the Sacred Names is extant and is read aloud each year in various European scholarly institutions.

His last work was a treatise on the Genealogy of Christ, According to St. Matthew [An Allegorical Exposition of the Genealogy of Christ.] This was first published by Thomas Sirin, in 1667 under the title Ailerani Scoto-Hibernia, Cognomento Sapientis, Interpretatio Mystica Progenitorum. The explanation of the sacred names, mentioned above, was attached to it. Apparently, these are the only representatives of all his works, the previous mentioned biographies of Saints Finian and Brigid, as well as the other works, having been lost somewhere in time.

The work is detailed in the Lives of Illustrious and Distinguished Irishmen, edited by James Wills. A (free) copy of that work may be found, online, at THIS LINK.

Aileran died of the yellow fever on today's date in the year 665, which is detailed in the Annals of Ulster, under the name of Aileran the Wise.

When I read about the wonderful works that celebrated monastics are able to produce while attending to the daily office and becoming scholars and translators of multiple languages to boot, I sometimes wistfully long for a simpler life, and perhaps a life lived in common, that would allow me to concentrate my energies on intellectual pursuits. Modern life provides so many avenues of distraction that I often wonder if civilization is such a boon to humans, after all.

On the other hand, I feel tremendous gratitude for the inspirational gift of these manifold channels of education that come to me so easily through the internet here at home, and, truth to tell, I am not constitutionally suited to the rigors of the typical monastic life, considering my multifarious infirmities and a creative spirit with which I was born and which forms the basis of whatever "work" I can claim to do. 

When I examine my life with an eye toward making my New Year's Resolutions, it makes me a bit melancholy that I am not able to follow anything but the most modest standards of sanctity, but I am determined to work at remaining humble and satisfied with my limited gifts, and the whole of my life, with its domestic demands and frustrations. I tamp down the unrealized dreams when they arise, and I am indebted to the saints, whose lives I study are a wonderful illustration of holiness to which I aspire.

May we all be inspired by saints like Aileran, the Wise.

.

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

PRAY FOR THE LIARS

Wanted:

"The one whose walk is blameless,

who does what is righteous,

who speaks the truth

from their heart;

whose tongue utters no slander,

who does no wrong to a neighbor,

and casts no slur on others.

Psalm 15:2-3

It disturbs me to see what seems to be an increase in the willingness of people to lie in order to further their own ends. We see this happening in Washington with that governmental circus of professional prevaricators who have honed blatant dishonesty to the level of high art and use bald faced lies to cement control and wield power, but, to be fair, I find deception to be heavily represented throughout society in day-to-day life, even among people whose professions lead one to expect much different and better.

My original draft of this blog post had three paragraphs of stories about several different liars in my orbit and how they lied to, about, or near me over the years and this week, but I realized that this problem is so common that I needn't provide those stories. I am quite sure that you all have enough of your own tales of the mendacious.

I have watched all sorts of people lie over the years and I find myself having a spine-chilling visceral reaction to it. I can almost feel Satan brushing up against me. It is an ominous and unnerving sensation.

Most "modern" people do not believe in Satan, but I usually tell them not to worry about it because Satan believes in them.  HE will keep the relationship going. I say this to them in a joking way. No one wants to be such a downer as to bring up hellfire and damnation in polite conversation!

But even I don't necessarily believe in the personification of evil that is the personality of a being named Satan. For me, "Satan" is shorthand for primal evil and its movement in our lives. And, while it is common for people to opine about whether or not God will assign them to Hell when we die, it is my understanding that it is with our own behavior that we demonstrate that resting place in which we are most comfortable and most familiar.

We walk around in our own personal acre of heaven or hell and carry it around with us as we move through life. If we establish our mind in the Heavenly place, Heaven is most real for us. The Kingdom of Heaven is among us!

The condition of our mind is determined by where we place our attention. It is as simple as that. Concentrate on Heaven, and Heaven is most real for us  But please don't assume that, because I KNOW this, that I have a "lock" on the process. No. Not at all. I struggle like everyone else....and perhaps MORE than everyone else, due to the PTSD that assaults me daily. It takes work to continually redirect the mind to the feet of the Lord when it has become distracted.

Our prayers and meditations have a dual purpose: first, to establish ourselves in the Divine, and second to intercede for others who have wandered away into lies and other obstructions that stand in the way of their vision of God.

"Self realization" isn't enough. We need to include all beings in a unitary vision.

Jesus admonishes us to pray for our enemies. Satan is the biggest enemy of all, and all lies originate with him. He is the father of all lies, and we need to fight him by fighting dishonesty because dishonesty is his calling card, and when it appears, HE is lurking nearby.

This is exactly why a good percentage of us are somewhat exercised by current affairs. The presence of Satan upsets people who are possessed of refined sensibilities. We are like the canaries in the coal mine. When you see a bunch of us flapping our wings and chirping dispiritedly, then falling over in a dead faint, it is a cue to get out of the mine. Get out of whatever societal situation in which we are mired and seek out the fresh air and sunshine. Meditation and prayer are the fresh air and sunshine for the soul.

Our current situation has encouraged me to double down on my meditation and prayers and I encourage you to do the same. Think of this: all the blog posts on Facebook, the newspapers, the magazine, the videos that bring each falsehood to light are fine vehicles of information, but are unable, by themselves, to stem the tide of the very real damage that is caused by malicious disinformation.

As people of faith, we have to do this. The fetid material being belched into the environment from the professional liars has to be counteracted on the spiritual plane, as well as the material, and we must hold fast to our compassionate prayer for those who are seduced by the continual stream of disparagement, calumny and toxic fabrication in which we are awash.

But, even if you are on the other side of things, and you believe every word from the current rulers, you surely must also follow my advice since the Lord will only cooperate with good and would not do evil just because a bunch of people ASKED him to! You know He couldn't do that.

Our mutual faith in Him draws us together. Across the divide, we may hold hands in the common belief that God brings all things to the good and that the words of Jesus, to love our enemies and pray for them, can only bring good. To unite with one another and place ourselves at the feet of the Lord who is Truth personified, and to beg for Truth to prevail, can only result in Truth!
                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Please join me in my prayers for Truth and Justice. Whatever is True and Just will be strengthened thereby. Whoever is True and Just will be strengthened. We do not need to name them or decide who they are, in advance (although we all probably believe that we know the "who" of things!)

I send love to you all and ask you to join me under the common sheltering roof of the absolute.

Silver Parnell
Sannyasini Kaliprana

P.S. I also remind you that my Paypal button still works, just in case you'd like to help me purchase some eyeglasses or dental work, neither one of which are paid for by Medicare!

MINDFULNESS AND TECHNOLOGY

Saint Julian of Norwich

Coming on the heels of the ridiculous concept of "multi-tasking," technological gadgets are frequently used as escape valves, removing us from engagement with life and others. How many times have you had a conversation with someone and, as soon as you start talking, you can hear them typing on their computer? Many people do this. Later, the recollection of the typist is missing crucial aspects of the conversation, and there is no comprehension of nuance at all.

Ironically, the thing which we are trying to obtain by retreating into gadgets is the very thing that will elude us when we use them for this purpose, i.e., peace of mind and heart.

It is just a fact that the mind cannot concentrate on more than one thing at a time. "Multi tasking" may APPEAR to be a situation in which one is doing two things, but the mind is simply being fractured at smaller and smaller intervals, popping back and forth between two or more objects of attention. While it is attending to one, it is missing signals from another, and vice versa.

Teresa of Avila in mystical union with the Lord

Modern life is so chaotic, so full of noise, news and fun new programs and devices, that it is easy to lose the regular habit of prayer and meditation. The advantage of cenobitic monastic, which is lived with other people, is that there is a structure into which everyone can fit themselves, and that structure carries each person along with scheduled periods of meditation. The rest of us have to discipline ourselves. Lent is the perfect time to reassess our habits so we can eliminate those that fracture the mind and increase those that serve our need for peace and prayer.

I have previously written about the simplification of my external circumstances and some habits of mind. Along with this type of spring cleaning, I find that I also have to revisit the discipline of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a state of recollectedness in which all one's attention is focused on one wavelength, one topic, one person, in the present time. When occupied with God during prayer time, it allows me to be aware of His presence. When studying, it brings all my brain cells to bear on the topic, so that I can absorb as much as possible of the information. When interacting with others, I bring my whole self to the conversation and am thereby more genuinely present for others. It is necessary for prayer and meditation.

"Christ the Yogi"

When meditating, our capacity for mindfulness is increased, while mindfulness is also necessary for meditation to occur. They go hand-in-hand, each being required for the other. Meditation helps gather and focus the mind, the benefits of which extend far beyond the time devoted to prayer and spiritual disciplines.

There is a false idea being promoted by people who have little or no experience with mindfulness or Eastern meditative traditions that meditation is a process whereby you empty the mind of all thought and just passively float. It is the opposite. In meditation, one is completely focused on the object of meditation.

In the Christian world, we use the term "Contemplation" for what is called "meditation" in other religious traditions. Christians will be surprised to learn the many similarities between religions. The Lord is everywhere, except for hell, of course, which is simply the absence of God, I am told.

Father Bede Griffiths

In India

This little blog post is simplistic in the extreme. Saints and sages have written and taught thousands of words on meditation, contemplation and mindfulness.

I recommend reading some of Father Bede Griffiths' writings if you wish to learn more about this topic from the Catholic perspective. There are countless other authors and books. The Vedanta Society of Southern California has a catalog of books from various religious traditions that they have curated carefully, and I highly recommend them.

In the meantime, try putting aside your gadgets during times when you are supposedly doing something else, and establish regular times of prayer and contemplation in your daily schedule. Try to focus your mind on one thing at a time, and don't succumb to the chaos around you. See how you feel, and then let me know how it works for you.

May your Lenten journey be full of peace and love!

Silver Rose Parnell
(c) Copyright 2018
All rights reserved

SIMPLIFY FOR LENT

The Resurrection of Christ

by

Pietro Perugino

The season of Lent presents us with a perfect opportunity to examine our lives and do a course correction in whatever way is needed. There ARE specific rules about fasting and abstinence from meat during Lent for Latin Catholics, of course, but this is a bare minimum requirement that establishes a foundation for a more comprehensive program, in a well developed spiritual life.

"On the Fridays of Lent, we remember the sacrifice of Christ...

and unite ourselves with that sacrifice through

abstinence and prayer."

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

We have all heard about the fasting and abstinence required of Latin Catholics in the 48 days or so that lead up to Easter. There are limits to its usefulness for the sick, the elderly and the poor, for various reasons, which I'll enumerate below, but first I would like to talk about keeping the spirit of the Lenten season.

Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemene

When you live as a solitary, accidental or otherwise, the ways in which one is NOT wholly in tune with God on a regular basis is fairly obvious to the intellect of those who are honest with themselves.

All I have to do is look around my apartment to see what is standing in the way of a more robust prayer life, and a more continual meditative mood. I have too much stuff, and I bet you do too! When you have STUFF, you have to maintain it, clean it and store it. Occasionally, you use it, but do you use everything that you have?

Every few years, I really need to do a major overhaul when I find myself moving STUFF from one spot to another and obsessing over storage needs. I have developed a program of simplification to address it.

The process is (1) eliminate (2) organize/store; and (3) Allot the extra time you've saved to prayer and meditation time.

Jesus knocking at the door of your heart

Areas of clutterbug infestation include:

Clothing and shoes
Somehow, I accumulated a lot of clothes. Now, almost none of them fit because I've lost quite a bit of weight. Boxing them up and giving them away is a blessed relief. I am going to return to wearing a monastic uniform, of sorts - not an obvious habit, mind you, but I will simply return to wearing only the gerua color peculiar to the vows I took many years ago that set me on the path of devotion to God alone. (Gerua is a range of peach to orange or orange-brown that Hindu and Buddhist swamis wear and which was worn by Father Bede Griffiths after he established his Catholic ashram in India.)

I have created a pattern for a long dress that I like to wear, and I will get some fabric and make a few for myself.

Me - on the day I took my religious vows

Many years ago and many pounds ago!

What happens when you limit the number of colors that you wear is that, first of all, matching your tops and skirts becomes easy. Fewer clothes are needed. All you have to do is figure out how many changes of clothing you need between wash days, and get rid of the extra stuff.

If you can't bear the idea of just wearing one color, pick 2 or 3 colors that appeal to you and do not keep anything that is not in that color range. The colors you choose should be complementary with one another, so that you can mix and match, if you so choose. You won't waste time trying to find a blouse that matches the skirt you want to wear that day because all your clothes "go" with one another.

A current picture

After getting rid of the excess clothes and shoes, I would cast an eye over the rest of the laundry and see if there is anything you are not using. How many sets of bedding do you have? Do you have extra towels you never use? Is there a pile of laundry in the hamper or on the floor that has been there for more than a month? If the answer is "yes," then you don't really need anything that is in that pile. Give it or throw it away.

Jewelry
You can only wear so many pieces of jewelry at one time. Keep the family heirlooms (or pass them on to your progeny NOW, if they're old enough), pick a few things you wear all the time. Give away what has no resale value, then take your silver and your gold to a local company that buys and sells precious metals by weight. You can find them in the yellow pages. Whatever they give you goes into the donation box or your parish envelope (in addition to what you customarily give.) Giving alms is another valuable Lenten tradition.

Jesus feeding the 5,000

Gifts
Things that others have given me sometimes clutter the house. I have felt obligated to keep them, out of loyalty to my generous friends but, on the other hand, if I am not using them and they are just occupying space and gathering dust, isn't there another person who may have need of these items? Several mugs are going into a box with some other housewares. Do you have a lot of knick knacks you've kept for sentimental reasons? Perhaps someone else in the family would like to store them for you? If the rest of your family won't scream, you could even donate them to the Salvation Army or a similar group, as I am doing.

Housewares
Take a look through your supply of china and housewares that are meant for use with visitors. How many visitors do you typically entertain? How often? How many sets of dishes do you really need? Keep what you like and use. Donate the rest. Do you ever use that waffle iron? What about the griddle? The bread maker? Be realistic about what you will use and what will continue to gather dust.

Mental Baggage
As usual, I have "buried the lead." Getting rid of mental baggage may be the most important Lenten practice that I do. I renew my vows of forgiveness to all those who have hurt me. Mind you, when I do that, it is considerable. I have been violated in every way imaginable during my life. Relatives have stolen from me, lied about me and abused me. A husband has abused and tortured and tried to kill me. Even nuns in the Hindu convent spread mean, untrue stories about me. Worst of all, I was gang raped at 14. I have experienced a lot. It is no wonder that forgiveness is an ongoing process that I have to decide to do every day.

Jesus crucified

When you are cleaning house and eliminating things you do not need, things that are occupying your mind when it could better be spent praying and meditating, remember to put down the heavy burdens of resentment and grudges because holding a grudge is like "drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die."

Jesus endured far worse, yet he forgave all.

Try to see all the sins committed against you as an education that enables you to put yourself in the shoes of other sufferers and to feel the most compassion a human can feel. The greater the assaults against you, the kinder a person you have the chance to become. Don't waste the opportunity!

After you have completed the elimination of all unnecessary items in your mental space and your personal living space, it is time to address the subject of storage.

Storage
Throwing a pile of junk into a box and sticking it in the garage does not qualify as proper "storage" because it is unusable. It will simply sit there, waiting for you to handle it the next time Lent rolls around. You haven't simplified your life when you do this. You've just hidden the evidence of chaos.

This part of the process may cost you money or some physical effort, or both. Modern people do have to keep some things. At the very end of the process of elimination, you should be left with considerably less STUFF than that with which you started. Now, it needs to be stored in a manner in which it is able to be used.

I have a particular problem with filing papers. I never get around to it. If you are like me, I recommend having your bills converted into electronic copies that get stored in the internet cloud somewhere. You can't do that with valuable documents, of course. You'll need to save actual car titles, receipts and warranties and things of that nature. In fact, you may have to copy them to the cloud, but whatever bills can be converted to an electronic format, I recommend you do that.

Every person's STUFF is peculiarly their own, and I can't really say what will work for you. Because I am disabled and mobility challenged, I do not get out very often to do any shopping, but I have great luck on Amazon, which delivers even furniture. If you pay careful attention to the reviews for each item, you probably won't have to return very many things, if any at all. You can look up "office furniture" or "storage." It even accommodates an individual sense of style. Look up "shabby chic" or "French Provincial," and you'll see what I mean.

"A place for everything, and everything in its place" is a cliche for a reason. It WORKS.

Once you have finished the simplification process, and everything is in its place, you'll find yourself with a lot more time on your hands because you won't be juggling STUFF to the degree you were before. Not only that, but the tidiness of your living space may also inspire you and have an edifying affect on your mood! Lenten prayers and meditation may be more fruitful.

Christ's descent into Hades

At the same time that you are working on the simplification program, Latin Catholics have obligations to fulfill with regard to abstinence and fasting.


Here are the basic rules:

(1) Abstinence is the refraining of eating meat of any kind, except for fish. It is required of everyone of any age on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and every Friday during Lent.

(2) Fasting is required for Latin Catholics between the ages of 18 and 59 on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. During the fast:

"a person is permitted to eat one full meal, as well as two

smaller meals that together are not equal to a full meal."

~ United States Conference of Catholic Bishops ~

[Read about the Lenten fast in detail HERE]

(3) Sundays, since they are days of celebration and feasting, are not included in Lenten acetic practices, but individuals may choose to include those days, if they wish.

Exceptions are made for illness

The Church appears to presume a middle class existence when it makes some rules, which is odd, because there are more than 40 million poor people in our country today. Poor people are often not in control of the type of food that is available to them on any given day, and their lives are a continual exercise of privation when it comes to food. Abstaining from meat, since it is a very expensive dietary component, is often something one is forced to do all the time, unless one is willing to eat the dreadful meat mockeries that are sold through various drive-through restaurants.

"Substituting" meat with fish is also nonsensical for some, since it is considered even more luxurious than meat and is more expensive, even in the drive-through restaurants. You can get a small hamburger for as little as a dollar, but fish sandwiches are rarely as inexpensive as that. Habitual poverty turns these fasting rules upside down.

Trout

by Silver S. Parnell

Many of us, in addition, are continually dieting as a means of weight control. Ever since I was a child, I have had a terrible time keeping my weight down. Seemingly, when I am not looking, it balloons up and I have to take hold of the situation and push the pounds back down the scale.  I have managed to take off about half of my excess weight over the years. This continual diet constitutes a perennial fast, and it makes no sense to pretend that abstinence and fasting are a special, added penance.

Poor people eating at a shelter

I am poor because I am chronically ill and unable to work, so my lack of participation is officially excused, but I hope the other 40 million poor people realize that The Church is compassionate and won't fault them for being unable to follow Lenten prescriptions to the letter.

If you are able to adhere to the letter AND the spirit of the law, I say, "do it!" If not, just remember that the point of Lent is to participate in the sacrifice of Christ through some variety of penances during the time leading up to Easter, when our Lord rose from the grave in glory.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose Parnell
(c) 2018 Copyright
All rights reserved.