HOW I ENDED UP AS AN URBAN HERMIT

1ST PLACE

SENIOR DIVISION

ALBUQUERQUE APARTMENT ASSOCIATION

CITY-WIDE POSTER CONTEST

2024

MONETARY AWARD - $250.00 

I did not plan to spend my life as a religious hermit in an urban environment. I had no plan at all when I left my abusive home at 17, with nothing but the clothes on my back and hippie sandals on my feet.

Despite my family being hostile to all religion, especially Catholicism, I had always been interested in God, and even though homeless, I was determined to somehow continue to pursue Him as best I could.

I crawled out of homelessness by taking advantage of my typing skills (a skill I had learned in High School.)  I was a beautiful young woman, and the only kind of help that anyone wanted to give me was not the type of help I wanted to take. Things were looking grim when the Scientologists scooped me up and gave me a place to stay, "employing" me as a communications secretary, which was mostly typing letters to people we hoped would join us. I worked 11 hours a day, 7 days a week. They gave me room and board and $10 a week as an "allowance."

In the religious sphere, I went from Scientology to Buddhism to Hinduism (Vedanta.) I was searching for the mystical heart of religion.

Photo by Jake Blucker

via "UNSPLASH"

In my working life, I had to support myself as best I could, usually as a legal secretary. I type 120 words a minute, and I usually understood the legalese and legal rationales. In my mid to late 20's, I spent a short time working at a TV studio during the day and writing stories for an episodic television show at night.  But when I was exposed to some horrifically tawdry and immoral aspects of "Hollywood", I became demoralized and just could not remain there. (The worst part of it was that it was my own father who was bragging loudly about having relations with starlets in his office, with the door unlocked, despite having his third wife living with him. I was horrified and felt defiled by having to hear this filth coming from a parent. It destabilized me.)

What followed was a series of very distressing and life-altering events that nearly killed me. My search for God, and peace and blessedness was kicked into overdrive. Fast on the heels of this pivotal moment in my life story, I searched through the Yellow Pages and found an organization that sounded very much as if they would teach meditation: the Vedanta Society.

Some time after that, my stint with the Vedantists ended up with me living in the Hindu-based convent that had been designed in imitation of the Carmelite convents of the Catholics. Unfortunately, the women were terribly mean. The swami trusted me, but they were jealous of that, on the one hand, (later admitting that they were afraid I would "run the convent from the bottom" on the other.)  I did everything I could to show my love to them, and they were not having any of it. Between the stress of their constant perturbation, and all of the physical work, my body took a real "hit" and I was in a wheelchair for some weeks. 

Divine Mother

by

Sonika Agarwal

via Unsplash

While living as a nun, I started reading the beautiful works of and stories about the Catholic and Orthodox saints and "doctors" of the church, and I just fell in love with the whole thing. I came to realize that every spot of emptiness and incompleteness that was lacking in the Vedanta faith, was answered and filled with the Catholic. I intended to leave the Hindu convent and try to enter a Catholic one. In any case I knew that I could not, indeed did not believe in the Hindu deities. The formless God of the Vedanta did not answer the yearnings of my heart.

Photo by Nick Castelli

on Unsplash

As told in more detail elsewhere, I did try to become a Catholic nun, but I could not even get them to BAPTIZE me because of ignorant prejudice. The nun in charge of the class had this weird idea that because I had been divorced after my stint with the Scientologists, I would have to endure several years of a Catholic annulment before baptism. She was completely wrong and completely adamant (as wrong people usually are!) 

At that time, however, I did not know how to process it. I didn't know any Catholics or other Christians and had no clue who to approach to fix this ridiculous impasse. I had left the convent to become a Catholic nun, and was distraught. I decided to get baptized by the Episcopalians and put aside my strong feelings for a monastic life. I wondered if God was telling me that He did not WANT me in that life, that He wanted something else. Was I supposed to be married? I wanted to do what He wanted for me.

Meanwhile, I hadn't a cent to my name, no one to help me get my secular life re-established, and a lot of work ahead of me, so I got on with the task of finding employment, working and saving. I was 40 by this time, and it was too late to think about college or career. I worked as a litigation secretary and office manager and did the best I could, taking the bus from Hollywood to Beverly Hills and back again, every day, until I saved enough money to buy a car.

BUS INTERIOR 

BY ASH GERLACHE 

ON UNSPLASH

One of the Vedanta devotees had offered to share her apartment with me, and it wasn't until after I moved out, a year later, that I learned she had charged me for the entire cost of the rent, while she tormented me with her bossiness. At one point, she moved her bed into the living room so she could use the master bedroom as her private "meditation" room, even though we lived half a block from the Temple. I was stuck, meanwhile, in a tiny, closet-sized room with no air conditioning and a super tiny window at the top of the wall, restricted from entering or leaving the apartment every time that woman took a nap. It was frustrating experience that saddened me. I had thought we were friends. ( I did not know, at that time, that I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, which is an antique term for a high-functioning version of autism. Other folks can often sense our vulnerability and gullible, loving natures. They know we can be conned into all sorts of things just by befriending us.)

Every time I think about this particular disappointment with a person who pretended to be "helping" me with one hand while she picked my pocket with the other, I just had to remind myself that this type of selfishness is common in the world. Even though this woman did not have to work to pay her rent, for some reason, she had taken advantage of me when I was in a very vulnerable position. She had worked a little in the past, apparently, and she had wealthy parents who supported her in some fashion. She did not need to take advantage of a destitute woman with no such support.

Reading about the love of Christ while enduring the selfish cruelty of the Vedantists was a real learning experience.

I was seeking God, peace and blessedness, while my contemporaries were pursuing professional careers, money and real estate. The practical difficulties that I have at age 70 would have been much easier to accommodate if I'd taken another route and gone after money instead.

Some years after leaving the Vedantists, my physical problems that had first become visible while I was in the convent, worsened and multiplied, and within the next 10 years, I was fully disabled and had to stop working outside the home when I was 49.

Photo by Zachary Kyra-Derksen

on Unsplash

So, shortly after moving to the high desert of New Mexico from California, I found myself too disabled to work before I was even 50. I had not had time to even properly accustom myself to the town before I became home-bound. The monastic inclinations I had put aside a decade earlier began knocking on the door of my consciousness in full force. I decided to make lemonade out of lemons by dedicating the remainder of my life to God, as an independent hermit. Within three years, I was able to enter the Catholic Church, after decades of wanting to do it.

So - this is how I find myself rather poor, unmarried, without family to support me, and without any religious assistance either!  My pursuit of the Divine has left me financially bankrupt but spiritually rich, and I wouldn't exchange my wisdom and experience for all the money in the world, despite the great difficulties I endure on a daily basis. Nobody ever said that sickness and poverty were going to be easy.

Many women who enter religious life have financial support of family or institution. Some families are happy to support them in it, and I have known quite a few who, while professing the life of poverty, are actually quite wealthy. I don't begrudge it of them because they need that support, as the men are in charge of all the purse strings in this world. I'm glad these women have the support. I am just not one of them. I need to be clear about that.

I was supposed to have been one of those ladies supported by family money, except that, after my father got Alzheimer's, I was written out of my father's will by a woman he had cheated on during their entire relationship. Then he died under suspicious circumstances, and other people are now spending my inheritance.  It is a "morality play," but in real life. The moral is: Don't cheat on the woman in your life because, if you get dementia or another illness that makes you vulnerable, you do not know how your inamorata may retaliate.

My entire life, he had consistently told me, "when I die, kid, yer gonna be rich!"  The doctor that signed his death certificate never saw him, in life or in death, according to my sister. His body was quickly cremated, before I even knew he had passed on, and what could I do about it? No one saw the body before the evidence was cremated.

I had planned to get myself through my difficult, pain-wracked disability and ultimate death with the inheritance that my father had promised me for decades and, at first, the scam perpetrated on me and my poor father was a terrible blow.  But I keep telling myself that the humiliation of being forced to beg for survival is good for the soul. 

In February of 2023, I celebrated 20 years of living as an independent monastic solitary. I didn't know at that time what form my vocation would take after that. It is very difficult to continue without support, particularly since I am physically suffering. 20 years of unremitting physical pain, due to inherited arthritic conditions, a light version of ehlers danlos,  and other physical damage, have taken their toll, but probably no more so than if my asceticism had been artificially practiced with a hair shirt and continual voluntary fasts.

PRESENT DAY SITUATION

I am writing a novel and producing some paintings. I have sold both types of art in the past, as well as jewelry items I produced. So I hope to have a better financial condition in future, if possible. In the meantime, if you would like to help support a poor hermit's spiritual and creative contributions to the world, the "DONATE" button above, on the right, under my photo, still works. BUT IF YOU YOURSELF ARE LIMITED IN FUNDS: PLEASE DON'T STRAIN YOUR BUDGET.

Otherwise, I am very grateful for any help you can give. I have an Amazon wish list for these things, AS WELL AS art supplies necessary to make paintings, rosaries and jewelry for sale. I will research how to sell them online, but I am beginning talks with the manager of the parish gift store for the production of personalized bookmarkers, bracelets and painting .

My parish church is located in the oldest part of town and was built in the 17th century! We have a bookstore that is open throughout the week and which is very popular with local Catholics, and many visitors to our town. The manager purchases most of her wares from local artists.

Amethyst & Pewter Celtic Rosary

St. Margaret of Scotland Centerpiece

Thistle charm

Paternoster beads: silver tree-of-life

(Made for my use/practice piece)

Amazon has my address and will mail to me directly, once the items have been paid for. Just click on the following link:

AMAZON WISH LIST

As mentioned elsewhere, my landlord (the City of Albuquerque) which is SUPPOSEDLY renting apartments under a "low income program", has suddenly and drastically bumped up the prices of the rent in this complex where I have lived for 20 years, and I am sadly distracted by the need to find the money so I can continue to afford to live here.  I was ALREADY having a difficult time when they gave me this distressing news.

In addition to the financial strain, my landlord has demonstrated ignorance of the Fair Housing laws and a real antipathy toward the idea of accommodating disabilities. I have had to file a HUD complaint and get an attorney to help me to keep the landlord from stranding me in my apartment during upcoming construction which is slated to last a month. Their plan would require me to perform some physical tasks I can't do in order to leave the house. I am finding that most people are insensitive to the issues that disabled folks have to face every day.

A couple months ago, I won a city-wide art contest that relieved me of the anxiety around my ABILITY to produce art, due to my blindness in one eye. I have been reassured that, despite the lack of depth perception, I CAN still produce art, particularly with the help of the magnifying lamps.

In addition to selling my paintings and sketches in the past, I have also made rosaries, and jewelry items. I hope to pick that up again and sell them locally, mostly at the parish book store, mentioned above. THOSE supplies are also on the wish list.

Practice jewelry for local store

As for my primary activities, I have a routine of prayer, meditation, contemplation, and reading. At some point, I may open up this routine to the participation of other solitaries. I know there are many elderly ladies who live alone and are assiduously practicing a prayer-centered life. One day soon, I will open up my YouTube channel for them so we may pray together.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

July 3, 2024
(C) Copyright 2024

All rights reserved

THE BLOG RESTS

 

Father Bede Griffiths, Catholic priest

and

one of his Sannyasinis (Indian style renunciate nun)

    Over the last decade, I have just loved researching the saints, writing about them and about the hermit life, and I have always looked forward to writing each post, despite the many hours of real work that each one entails. It has been a labor of love.

    It was not my idea to start this blog, however. A friend of mine from my Vedanta days encouraged me to write it, but I think she probably envisaged something more contemporary and argumentative - and specifically something that would generate some type of income.

    I subsequently learned, however, that an automatic income would only come through "monetizing" my blog, which would allow advertisements chosen by this platform to be displayed over my blog, and I could not bear the idea.  First of all, advertisements are ugly. They do not match the aesthetics I have chosen for this publication. They offend my eyes and diminish whatever message I choose to offer in the midst of the verbiage.

    Instead, I chose to request donations, leaving it to the discretion of the reader as to what they could afford, but only a very few of my many readers ever donated - except for one lovely woman who said she lived in Ireland, who donated, then became enraged when she understood that I do not support Donald Trump. Why someone in the U.K. would be so invested in an American political figure is beyond me, but she felt that my disapproval of him was a personal affront against her. She became highly offended, and told me off furiously. None of this made any logical sense to me, but this is the condition of our world at this moment.

    Readers should donate, in response to the incredible amount of work that goes into unique and well-researched posts, as well as for the sake of simple Christian charity. But  I imagine that people have grown accustomed to getting many things for free on the internet, and I am not oblivious to the fact that the disparity of income in our country, though the worst of all the industrialized nations, is increasing in severity all the time. Many folks are scrabbling, just to survive. If I can help them survive in a serene way, this influence of serenity is part of what I want to incorporate into all my public dealings.

    Although I am not focused on contemporary news and politics, if I have anything to say on those topic, I will say it on Facebook under the moniker of "The Occasional Hermit," since the newsy posts will, fittingly, disappear in time to make room for newer items in the feed. See my Facebook page for those kind of topics, with the exception of weighty topics of more longstanding import.

Blessed Virgin Mary

Our Lady of Ocotlan

    One thing I learned from my decades of meditation is that where you place your mind's eye is where you take yourself, and if you concentrate on God, you get God.  That's all there is to it. If you concentrate on the other guy, you're going to get him. It's like driving a car. You have to look out the windshield in front of you to get yourself where you are going, while only glancing through the other windows on occasion to ensure that no one is about to crash into you, or vice versa.

    I am not giving up the blog entirely. Sometimes it will be necessary to warn people off dangerous religious fads and to correct the record when a conspiracy theory is floated about, say, the Pope, for instance, at which time I may return here and put in my two cents worth. But it can't be a daily thing. I have other things to do.

Our Lady of Sorrows

    I have quit this blog a couple times in the past, and came back to it eventually because the work of getting to know the various saints I have researched has been interesting to me. I loved the whole process of becoming more familiar, and drawing closer to a life of holiness that I could use as an example for mine.

    The research and the writing of these blogs, combined with the complexity of keeping myself physically alive, have taken up so much of my  time that I have not been able to finish the books I have started, so I am going to focus on those books until I get at least ONE finished and edited. Occasionally, I will return to this blog.

    If this blog had helped me support the hermitage, that would have been a different matter and, to be fair, I had no way of knowing whether or not it would do that.  Now that I know that it will not, it is time to reassess.

Saint Kinga of Poland

Relative

    I am conducting a review of the blog entries I have posted over the last decade and removing many of them, especially those that relate to "current" events, and relegating them to the "unpublished" category. 

    I remind everyone that posts about the saints are my intellectual work product and belong to me. While you are welcome to make note of factual material, such as birth and death dates, you may not copy the blog post for any purpose. If you would like to quote from my work, you may contact me in the comment section of this blog and we can discuss.

    I will still be available to moderate the comments on the blog, though I don't expect there will be many. The donate button (below my photograph at the top of the right column) will remain in hopeful active status.

    Saint Adela of Normandy

Relative

    Obviously, my primary occupation is my contemplative life, but, other than the occasional article written for this venue, I will be continuing work on my books and my haiku poetry. In addition, I have resumed a painting career that I left behind when I began to go blind. I have managed to keep the vision in one eye (thanks be to God!) and I am slowly learning how to paint in mono-vision, with no depth perception! 

    When I have a decent number of paintings available for sale, I anticipate creating another blog for those things and will also announce it here. The painting blog MAY be combined with the author blog for my novels, but I have not yet decided. 

    As always, you may contact me through my Facebook page. You can put a comment on any of my posts, but if you want to send me a private message, I will always take a look at my message requests, eventually.

    The donation button remains active, though a bit dusty and rusty.

    Thank you for reading. I wish you the very best, and God bless you all. You are in my prayers.

Silver Rose

SAINT ITA OF KILLEEDY, LIMERICK, IRELAND - JANUARY 15

 

Saint Ita of Killeedy

Foster mother of the Irish saints

475-570

Saint Ita of Killeedy is one of those remarkable female saints that we in the West do not typically hear of on a regular basis. As far as Irish saints are concerned, we are familiar with Saint Patrick and Saint Brigid (if that) and not much else.

Catholic.org has an extensive write-up about her, so I won't reinvent the wheel, but I will just give you an idea of what an incredible and unique person she was.

First, it was said that she was the daughter of two noble lines, one of which (her father's) linked back to Felim the lawgiver, King of Tara. I am also descended from him, so she and I are distant cousins, which is something I am happy to hear, because I would hope that she would be praying for her extended family and I might ride her coat tails thereby! (Hey! I need all the help I can get!)

In the Codex Kilkenniensis, her mother was said to be descended from Saint Brigid's sister! Saint Ita was born into an incredible spiritual powerhouse, it seems to me. It is almost as if this woman was destined to become a very holy woman, based upon the bloodline and other factors.

Decorated page from the

Codex Kilkenniensis

She was baptized as Deirdre, raised in County Waterford, and was purported to exemplify the 6 essential virtues of an Irish woman: wisdom, purity, beauty, musical ability, gentle speech, and needle skills. Ita had much stronger recommendations than these, to be sure.

She was given the name "Ita" which means "thirst for holiness," because of her obviously saintly qualities. (The more I hear about this woman, the more I wish I could have met her, that's for sure.)

Early on, Ita rejected the idea of marriage, and received agreement of her father to remain unmarried. I will stop here and point out that, one of the main jobs of a father in those days was to find a proper husband for whatever daughters were in his household because women had little or no method of self-support. The responsibility for the upkeep of a woman would pass from the father to the husband upon the daughter's marriage.  For a daughter to remain unmarried, it meant that the father had to agree to support her. I am not sure what would happen if the daughter joined an already extant convent, but I would bet that the father would be required to turn over a dowry to the convent upon the acceptance of the daughter.  Saint Ita, however, wanted to do her OWN thing.  What a woman!

She eventually ended up in Killeedy and started what appears to be a double monastery, one for women and another for men, as well as a school. Saint Brendan, the great "navigator" saint,  was one of her pupils.

Incredible miracles are attributed to her, and I'll let you read about those on the links I provide at the end of this blog.

What I always find remarkable about saints such as this is that they were very sure of their vocation, from an early age. I had a sense of my destiny, as I was strongly attracted to religion from a young age, about 7, as I can recall, but because I came from a wretched family with no religious education and precious little ethical life, it was a long time before I got focused.

Ita, on the other hand, was nurtured in an intensely religious environment, and the fact that she knew so soon and with such conviction the course of her life is a testament to the spiritual strength of her family.

It is stories such as hers that convince me of how very beneficial it is to provide solid religious education to one's children - and you can't do that if you have no religious life yourself. The old cliche that a family that prays together stays together simply can't be dismissed. Not all families are ABLE to do such a thing, due to divorce, differences in religions between the parents, and all sorts of impediments, however.

I am terribly grateful to have lived as long as I have, so as to have the time to get focused on the religious path that is right for me and which gives me such unmitigated joy. It does not matter that the circumstances of my health and finances and other conditions are not ideal. When you have The Lord, you have everything. Yet, at the age of 68, I feel as if I am still at the entrance of the road to holiness. I've just stepped through the gate, and there is so much to learn and do!

Ita had a very independent character. She was no shrinking violet, and it looks to me that her strength gave others confidence in her abilities. Soon after she struck out on her own, the local chieftan, offered her land for her monasteries and school. She only took PART of what was offered. I imagine that she calculated what she could reliably handle and then refused the excess.

Women saints who strike out on their own are of keen interest to me because I am also alone.  I like to hear about their philosophies.  In the case of Ita, St. Brendan once asked her what three things God loved best and she replied: "True faith in God and a pure heart, a simple life with a religious spirit and open-handedness inspired by charity." Of course, in her answer, we all recognize the two essential things that Jesus told us are necessary: to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbors as ourselves. In Ita's philosophy, she kept both of these principles hedged about by the simple life. I imagine that, when faced with any dilemma, her advice would be to "keep it simple."

Saint Brendan the Navigator

Ita dedicated herself to prayer, fasting, simplicity and cultivating a gift for spiritual discernment.  She was also endowed with the gift of prophecy and is considered the "foster mother of the saints of Ireland," who, along with many women, looked to her for guidance on the holy path.

Legends that have been passed down to us from her time place emphasis on her austerity. In addition to the miracles attributed to her, she created an Irish lullabye for the baby Jesus.

It is posited that she probably died of cancer, as she had a growth in her side that was the size of a pig by the time she passed.

I find it fascinating that, although she died about 1500 years ago, we know the location of her grave, which is in the ruins of Cill Ide, a romanesque church at Killeedy, where her monasatery used to stand. (The original monastery was destroyed in the 800's by Viking invaders, unfortunately.) The Romanesque Church that was built over the ruins also failed to survive, yet the site is nonetheless a popular pilgrimage spot. But another reason why I wish I could have gone to Ireland in my lifetime!

Ruins of Cille Ide

In addition to being the patron saint of Killeedy, Ita shares patronage of Limerick with St, Munchin, so many people crave her attention! There is also a nearby small town by the name of Kilmeedy (Cil M'Ide = Church of my Ita) that also has some history with and attachment to this saint.

It is helpful to me today to read of Saint Ita's emphasis on simplicity because my life, as a disabled person, requires it.  I can't afford the luxury of complex spiritual disciplines because my body and station in life are not suited to requirements. It is necessary for me to focus on the simple essentials, because I can do little else, as The Lord well knows! This reminder brightens my mood.

Both Catholic.org and wikipedia bear a long list of references for information about this truly inspiring saint.  I provide links here.

CATHOLIC.ORG

WIKIPEDIA

I will pray for you all, as I hope you pray for me.

God bless us.

Silver Rose

SAINT PAUL OF THEBES, THE FIRST HERMIT - JANUARY 15

 

Saint Paul receiving bread from the raven

that was purported to keep him alive to

be more than 100 years old

In a couple weeks, I will be celebrating my 20th anniversary as an urban hermit, so the topic is on my mind.

You know, I am always fascinated to read about the lives of these saints who were hermits, and there are quite a few of them in recorded history.

Paul is considered the first Christian hermit. We know about him because Saint Jerome wrote about him and Saint Anthony the Great, who had a connection later in life.  Paul is said to have lived to be more than 113 years old, kept alive by a raven that brought him half a loaf of bread every evening. I don't know what to say about that. I don't think I could be kept alive by only half a loaf of bread every night!

Paul did not initially intend to become a hermit. His brother-in-law wanted to grab his inheritance, so he was about to report Paul to the authorities for being a Christian. Paul went out into the desert to escape being imprisoned and killed but he eventually realized that hermit life suited him.

Obviously, he could not benefit from his inheritance ANYWAY, living in the desert like that, so it appears that he was not that attached to money to begin with, and his brother-in-law needn't have conspired to rob him of it. I find it interesting that I was also robbed of my inheritance and, although I was originally distressed about the injustice of it, considering the level of my needs as a result of my numerous disabilities, I have come to see that it might have turned out to be a curse, if I had not been written out of my father's will after he got Alzheimer's. I would likely have been hounded by people who were intent on grabbing what they could. Money is not the solution some people imagine it to be.  

I DO wish I wasn't a burden on friends, though. That is the one regret. On the flip side, I believe that The Lord has personally sent these kind people to me as his emissaries of love.

The person who robbed the inheritance will have to pay the price instead of me, I suspect. Anyway, the lack of the inheritance provides more opportunity for suffering that I may then offer to the Lord, and I should be grateful for the grace to endure it. I know it sounds backward to some people, but suffering is a type of spiritual currency. It is just ONE of the many ways that God brings all things to the good for those who believe.

Hermits, though they live alone, are normal human beings. They do have friends, but the nature of the relationships are not frequent or typical. Saint Paul became friends with Saint Anthony the Great during two days in Paul's 113th year!

Saint Anthony the Great and Saint

Paul of Thebes, the first hermit

Anthony and Paul only spent a day and a half together, and the next time Anthony went to see him, Paul was dead. There is a charming myth that two lions helped Saint Anthony dig Paul's grave.

I would have loved to have heard the conversation between those two holy men. I can only imagine!

There have been times, when considering my hermit life, that I have thought I should give it up because I am "doing it" imperfectly, but except for the rare moment of loneliness, I still feel that this life suits me, even if I am not a saint thereby. It is good for the ego for a person not to be too "successful," especially a religious person, it seems to me.

So I will slog along in my pathetic representation of a religious hermit, do the best I can, and be grateful for it all. When I celebrate my anniversary on February 3rd, I will be suitably humble before God.

The lives of the hermit saints bear little, if any resemblance to my life, but then the life of the typical resident of Thebes at that time looks nothing like the typical American in 2023! In addition to the differences connected with living a modern life, my numerous and growing disabilities also interfere with the aceticism one would usually expect from a hermit, so I do the best I can. The constant chronic pain is my offering and may be a more painful sacrifice to give than the more austere lives of these early saints. We all do the best we can within the conditions that are provided and the parameters of our own abilities.

Don't get me wrong. I have given it a lot of thought and wondered if I "should" give up the idea of the hermit life, but, although my religious practice is not perfect and, in some superficial ways, I appear to be a fairly typical senior lady of my time and place, I have no strong desire to have any other kind of life goal. I kept trying to see myself doing anything other than what I do now, and I just could not rustle up the interest! If I had wanted a more "normal" life, such as the other women I know, I surely would have tried for it long before my 20 year anniversary, don't you think?

Whatever defects remain in my daily practice must be battled and subdued, if possible, but in any case I will not give up the goal of gaining a more perfect union with The Lord through giving myself to Him alone, even if I fail in the attempt.  Please wish me the best and pray for me.

In the meantime, if you are interested in Saint Paul of Thebes, the First Hermit, and his contemporaries, or you are curious about early hermit life and lore, please take a look at the following links:

CATHOLIC.ORG

WIKIPEDIA.ORG - SAINT PAUL

WIKIPEDIA.ORG - SAINT JEROME

WIKIPEDIA.ORG - SAINT ANTHONY THE GREAT

WIKIPEDIA.ORG - SAINT ATHANASIUS

At some point, I believe that, such as with Anthony and Paul,  I would also like to develop a friendship with at lease one other hermit - especially an urban hermit. We have much to share with one another, I think - especially after 20 years of doing this. I also wonder if it would be a good idea to find a regular confessor, especially now that Covid is not as much of a problem as it was - but I suspect that I may wait another year before risking spending too much time outside the hermitage. God will bring what He wants for me.

I hope you will all pray for me, as I pray for you.

God bless and keep you!

Silver Rose

ROE V. WADE OVERTURNED - JUNE 24, 2022

Blessed Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus

by

Silver S. Parnell

(c) Copyright 2021

All rights reserved.

Today's events have overshadowed everything else for the moment, and I have some comments.

First of all, if this had been the last instead of the only action in a series of real efforts to improve America's pro-family and pro-life efforts, we would have something to celebrate.

If overturning Roe was the last, instead of the only action, we would have a nationwide living wage that was more than adequate to support grownups and kids.

If it was the last, instead of the only action, families would not be forced to bankrupt themselves caring for a sick child or other family member because every family would have guaranteed health care.

If it was the last, instead of the only action, mothers and fathers would each have paid maternity/paternity leave for at least the first six months of the baby's life.

If it was the last, instead of the only action, education from Pre-K through college would be free at point of service. 

If it was the last, instead of the only action, the "pro-life" Republican Party would have proven that it actually cares about families and children with all those other actions, but the opposite is true. It has proven that it is hostile to families, hostile to children, hostile to the poor, the elderly, the disabled. It fights against all those actions I have listed.

The other industrialized nations take much better care of their citizens than we do, despite having far less wealth and natural resources than our country holds.  Our citizens struggle to put food on the table and a roof over their heads, while a handful of greedy corporate overlords is so bored and sated with life that they take vacations in outer space. The people who created the wealth with their work do not get their fair share of the wealth that they worked for. They are wage slaves.

It is no wonder that most women cite financial hardship as a reason for their abortion. We live in a culture that is hostile to children and families.

Forget for a moment the financial impossibility of raising a child on a food service workers salary. Women's bodies have always been under attack.  Every war involves the rape and unwilling impregnation of women. From their own households where countless children are raped by family members, to the rape by coercion during a date, to the workplace where employers make it clear that the woman will be fired if she does not give the boss sex, I have experienced all of these myself and I know how very common it all is, how dirty and hopeless it makes you feel, and how impossible it is to keep one's sanity while at the same time being forced to carry a growing thing within yourself that is put there by force. For the woman in this position, it is not a baby. It is a hostile invader, a parasite, a daily reminder of the humiliation, shame and trauma. But do these "pro life warriors" who go to war against these women give a damn about any of that? No. Women remain the spoils of war.

The big lie underneath all this is that the party that claims to be "pro-life" is nothing more than an agency that works on behalf of the wealthy overlord class. In a deliberate, cynical ploy to get voters to agree to remain poor and to work as wage slaves so that the rich can get richer, it lies and says it cares about babies and families. It lies and says it is "pro life."

Lying is how it routinely does business. Each of Trump's Supreme Court appointees lied in their confirmation hearing testimony. They claimed adherence to the doctrine of stare decisis and that Roe was established law, so they would respect that and Roe wasn't in their sites. But the first thing we heard from them thereafter was a leaked document that the doctrine of stare decisis would be trashed and Roe would be overturned, and today we get the final draft. Instead of respecting stare decisis, they have thrown out the principle of adhering to precedent. Because they have a political agenda, everything that has gone before is now up for grabs, despite their assurances that this would not happen.

Whoever would love life and see good days

must keep their tongue from evil and their lips

from deceitful speech."

1 Peter 3:10

I used to vote across both parties. I used to believe that both parties consisted of people of good will that were trying to better the country and that I could vote either Republican or Democrat, based upon the issue under discussion at the moment, but I can no longer do that. I have lost all respect for the politicians in the Republican Party, with the exception of a very small number of men and women who have distinguished themselves recently with their honesty, ethics, and (frankly) bravery in calling out their fellow Republican politicians.

When I watched the interviews with weepy but jubilant "pro-life" demonstrators, crowing about their "victory" using a variety of triumphal language, the journalists would often ask them how they feel about the people whose lives have been upended by this action by a radical right wing political set of jurists. Not one of them had a shred of understanding or compassion for the girls and women against whom they had just effected a hostile takeover.

One woman blithely talked about adoption and I wondered how SHE would like to spend 9 months carrying the offspring of a violent rapist? Besides which, who is going to pay the medical bills for the women and babies? Who will support them when they can no longer work?

The biggest lie of all is that overturning Roe will save those "dear precious babies." What it will do is push women into back alley abortions (again) and into amateur self-surgery with knitting needles or crochet hooks. Those who have the money and the connections and resources to travel hundreds of miles to another state where it remains legal (for now) will avail themselves of it. My point is that abortions have always been available and always will be. "Pro-life" activists are kidding themselves if they think they are saving the babies.

As before mentioned, if the GOP really cared about children and families, it would not have pushed so hard against the social programs that could have helped them. It would not have worked to keep wages low. It would not have worked so hard to give tax breaks to the rich. They did not want to pay for pro-family measures and they continue to try to rip social security out from under the elderly who paid into it for DECADES which, if they succeed, will leave people like me on the streets. The underlying, consistent theme is NOT "pro-life," it is pro-rich guy. The "pro life" aspect is a hook to catch gullible voters.

I predict that the number of children that are born through forced compliance will be smaller than the number of women and babies that die as a result of either back-alley abortions, suicide, or self-surgery misadventure.

Anyone reading this may (incorrectly) assume that I am pro-abortion. I am not. I am simply able to have compassion and empathy for people other than myself who live in ways other than the way in which I live and who have a point of view that I do not share. I respect, also, that the USA is a country that was founded on freedom of religion. It is one of the main reasons why the original settlers came from Europe. They were living under a repressive religious autocracy.

My personal philosophy around sex life is formed by my life experiences which have taught me that women are always the losers when they have sex outside of marriage, and that unwanted pregnancies are only one of the many problems that arise when people treat sex as if it was an entertainment. My solution for the huge number of abortions performed in America would be partially ameliorated by a return to the custom of waiting to have sex until one is married. But I realize that you cannot force people to live in a way they do not agree with, nor should we WANT to do that in a country supposedly founded on freedom of religion.

Obviously, this issue is complex, and a lot of different people have opinions about this. The philosophical differences are huge - and neither side seems positioned to even begin to try and understand the other, which brings up my final point:

Whatever happened to evangelization?

Jesus never advocated for a takeover of the government. In fact, the opposite is true. Neither did he recommend that his followers use force to make people comply with his commandments. He told them to kick the sand from their feet and move on. That is all. These "pro life warriors" have done the exact opposite of what Jesus commanded. They work against the social programs that sound a LOT like Jesus's commandment to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoner, etc., and instead of evangelizing the culture, they go to war against it.

None of this looks like anything Jesus would recognize. It is hypocritical - something which non-Christians have noticed. If they disliked Christians before this era, they despise them now - because of the lying, manipulation, hate-filled bullying, and general hypocrisy. The manner in which one does things is important, and it is not ok to commit the evil of lying and manipulation in order to get something done that you consider to be "good." Catholics know this. It is in the catechism. Apparently, other types of Christians do not care about it.

If our culture is the opposite of something Jesus would like to see, the blame for that does not lay with the  "lefties." We failed to evangelize. We failed to demonstrate the glory of Jesus Christ. We consistently behave in unholy ways and we are responsible for this culture becoming more and more pagan.

Instead of crowing about how we "won" this culture war and overturned Roe, we should be on our knees, with apologies on our lips, for how poorly we have evangelized this nation and how badly we have treated one another, in direct disobedience to Jesus commands. We have forced a standard of behavior onto non-Christians using lies and manipulation instead of evangelizing.

In the end, few, if any, lives will be saved. The conditions in which the poor live will be far worse, and the rich guys at the top of the pyramid will continue to take vacations in outer space. It is mind boggling. With all the resentment that has built up against hypocritical Christians, is evangelization even POSSIBLE now?

The solution? Each of us need to do better, be better, follow Him better, and be better examples than we have been. No one will listen to us otherwise, if they will listen to us at all after this.

May we all be blessed!

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

Silver Cottage Hermitage

P.S. All of the blog posts I write are independently researched and written by me and all of them are protected by legal copyright and may not be copied for any purpose by any person for any reason, so please just enjoy them here and leave them here where you found them.

(c) Copyright 2022, Silver S. Parnell

All rights reserved.

No copying for any purpose by anyone is allowed.