I OFFER THIS VERSION OF MY "RULE OF LIFE," ITS HISTORY AND ITS UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHIES, AS AN AID TO OTHERS WHO MAY BE THINKING ABOUT LIVING AS A LAY HERMIT
Every hermit should have a personal "Rule of Life" that they create which expresses the methods by which they will accomplish the three evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience. Mine will appear to be quite different, from the outside, because of my physical disabilities that exact their own requirements, but a nun or monk from a large institution might recognize how my day is ordered as it attempts to partially mimic theirs, with the exception that my prayers may be said while sitting in a wheelchair or a recliner, due to inability to do otherwise, and the rare days during which I have a caregiver assisting me may find me praying silently, in my heart alone.
On those days during which I have an assistant in the house or when I am otherwise disturbed by outsiders, most of my monastic prayers must be shifted to the dark of the evening and early mornings before sunrise.
It is often thus in one's old age, when we are decrepit, that we must share our space with others, and that is why it is a good idea to begin the hermit life while still young, so that the habits of prayer maybe driven inside one's heart and made permanent there.
THE PHYSICAL HERMITAGE
It is ironic that, for the lay hermit of limited means, their external circumstances, such as housing, clothes, and even the modern expense of land in which one is allowed to be solitary, is very difficult to attain. Hermits of a more primitive era have been expected to sell all they own, give the money to the poor, and retire to a hermitage. A lay person can not do that today, unless you plan on begging in the streets, in which case you are not living as a hermit.
In the modern era in the United States, and probably in the rest of the developed world, as well, there really is no such thing as land that is free. Every inch seems to be owned and/or managed by someone or some organization or administration, and you can't just build a hermitage anywhere that appeals to you. Purchase of real estate is rarely cheap, especially if it is developed and has water, electricity, and other amenities of modern life that most of us would have difficulty living without, unless we are extremely physically fit and could live entirely "off grid."
Hermits are of various ages and backgrounds, but my expectation is that my audience is someone similar to myself, who has worked for some years, supporting themselves financially, and is retiring with the idea in mind that they will dedicate the rest of their life to the Lord in the unique manner of a hermit. In the United States, those of us who have worked for decades typically have some kind of retirement income, and we will live on these modest funds.
DO NOT TAKE UP THE HERMIT LIFE, EXPECTING SOCIETY TO PAY FOR IT WITH WELFARE FUNDS
In order to retire to a hermitage, reliable funding should be enough to pay for all your basic living expenses, which means food, housing, transportation, medical expenses, etc. It is also expected that you might have some sort of at-home business with which you support yourself. I am an artist and I paint spiritual topics. I also make one-of-a-kind wire-wrapped rosaries and chaplets. In my early 20's, I wrote television stories, and I am currently writing a spiritually based novel and a nonfiction book about caregivers. One day, I hope that these endeavors may help support me - especially when Social Security runs out of money, which I continue to hear from politicians may be a possibility.
SOCIAL SECURITY IS AN ACCEPTABLE FUNDING SOURCE, BUT IT MAY BECOME LESS AVAILABLE OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS
Social Security has been a reliable vehicle of support for retired persons who paid into it for 3 or 4 decades. Unfortunately, the government stole from it and never repaid the funds and now devious political characters are screaming at us that there isn't enough money to last, which is entirely their fault. Social Security is a pittance, to begin with, thanks to the greedy politicians, and God only knows how we baby boomers will survive, if we live past the year 2030, which is the date upon which money will begin to become rather tight, and is only 5 years from the date of this writing.
THE CONTEMPLATIVE PRACTICE IS OUR FOCUS - EVERYTHING ELSE IS MEANT TO SUPPORT IT
If you have limited funds and you are also physically challenged, it is nearly impossible to live the stereotypically isolated hermit life. If you allow antiquated notions of what a hermitage is "supposed to look like," it will interfere with your primary purpose in becoming a hermit to begin with. God will give you as much of the hermit circumstances as you are meant to have. so you have nothing to worry about.
If you have a strong desire to take up this vocation but your circumstances make it virtually impossible, you are not meant to take it up or you are not meant to take it up NOW. Perhaps The Lord is teaching you patience or maybe He wants you to go deeper in your desires for it. Discuss it with Him.
WE RUN TOWARD GOD, NOT AWAY FROM PEOPLE
The religious hermit is not a misanthrope who dislikes people. The heart of a hermit is full of love for God and man, and The Lord's entire creation. He or she seeks the solitary life for the sake of immersing his or her entire being in the presence of God.
This is why I recommend that, for the senior or the disabled who retires and becomes a hermit, it is important not to become fixated on the externals. If you are retiring to your own private monastery with a surfeit of funds that will allow you to buy or even build your own hermitage, you had better make sharing the premises, with other contemplatives, part of your mission, otherwise you're just living a selfish and self-absorbed life of the well-to-do Westerner who lives to please themself.
This is one of the many ways in which the spirit of the thing cannot be driven away by fixed ideas arising from antiquated circumstances that are no longer possible.
BEAUTY IS OUR FRIEND
My advice is that, if you have experience with the contemplative life and you hunger for more, do whatever you can to find a place in which to live the contemplative life, which is within your abilities. Do not let the perfect become the enemy of the good in this regard. And, whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of thinking you must suffer in an empty, ugly room. The Lord is beautiful and your environment should remind you of your beautiful Lord, in whatever guise you find Him most attractive.
On the other hand, for those of us who are disabled or elderly and frail, our environments will rarely be exquisitely tidy and picturesque, especially if, like me, the hermit is an artist and their labor is dedicated to spiritual topics expressed in art. But art is a messy business, and the cleanup can be challenging for the disabled.
We all do the best we can, though, with whatever resources are available to us. What is most important is what happens between our ears, not the well-appointed condition of the furnishings between the walls of the hermitage.
YOUR BEST EFFORT WILL NEVER BE PERFECT
Do the best you can. It will never be good enough for the critics, no matter how much you exert yourself, so do not give a fig for the opinions of outsiders. Stay focused, mentally, on The Lord.
EXPECT YOUR IMPERFECTIONS
I began my hermit journey when I became too disabled to work outside the home, and it took me some time to pull together a "Rule of Life" that accommodates the needs of a disabled senior who is not physically able to do much of the manual labor that often forms a good portion of an ordinary hermit's day of "prayer and work" (ora et labora.)
During the last two decades, I have experimented with a variety of prayers, hours, and rules. To a certain extent, my Rule of Life is almost a living organism. As my physical condition changes, and when other sorts of changes are forced on me from the outside, the Rule of Life must adapt, which is why I constructed it with some flexibility to begin with. Take care that you do likewise, so you don't find yourself in a straight jacket one day. Take into account the fact of your imperfections.
Many hermits are quite physical in their day-to-day duties, depending, of course, on the degree of primitive lifestyle they have adopted. Due to physical impairments, I am often unable to do many of the small routine movements or chores that the able-bodied take for granted and which are expected to be done by a typical hermit (if the adjective "typical" can be applied at all to any aspect of this life path!)
DO NOT ENGAGE DOMESTIC STAFF UNLESS YOU CANNOT PHYSICALLY MANAGE WITHOUT THEM
It is perfectly alright to have caregivers to help you manage physically, if you are disabled or elderly and frail, but if you are one of those wealthier people who can afford to hire someone to do your laundry when you are able to do it yourself, you are violating the spirit of the life. On the other hand, only you will know what you are physically capable of doing, so ignore the arrogant critics who presume to tell you what you can or cannot do. Anyone who attempts the hermit life in earnest is not going to be a lazy person. This vocation is strenuous in its own way.
YOU MAY NEED TO LIVE NEAR DOCTORS OR SUPPORTIVE FAMILY
Being an "urban hermit" is also not the usually expected environment, but most of us need to be near SOME kind of support, as we age.
A year after I dedicated myself as a hermit, I found a location that comes as close as I could get to a deserted place while still remaining near doctors. For the last 20 years, I have lived in a modest apartment on the edge of a small metropolitan area, with a view of tall green cottonwood trees, between the branches of which I can see the desert mountains turning pink in the setting sun every evening.
Because of the needs of the disabilities, I must remain near modern facilities, and this apartment in a semi-rustic part of town, near the Rio Grande River, is the closest I can come to the standard notions of what a hermitage premises requires.
Saint Frances statue
against the garden wall
2015
STATION YOURSELF AT THE FEET OF THE LORD
My entire personal rule can be reduced to two principles: first, that I will come as close as I can to the time-honored expectations of a hermit, while remaining practically cognizant of my limitations. Secondly, because my physical ability to imitate the life of a fully functioning hermit is never going to be anything close to ideal, my mind must always keep company with The Lord so that I may "pray unceasingly." In this way, by habitually training my mind to the hermit ideal, I place myself in the garden of The Lord at all times, so that I am always in His Presence spiritually, despite failing to do so in the temporal realm.
Every contemplative probably has his or her own personal picture in their mind that graphically demonstrates their inner image of God. These inner personal visions may incorporate the entire Heavenly court; God the Father, His saints and Angels, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and of course, God the Son, Jesus Christ. Others incorporate Jesus alone. Some people concentrate on the Way of the Cross. Each of us has our own unique inner sight.
In their meditation practice, I always recommend that the spiritual aspirant fix their mind on the most attractive aspect of God, according to what appeals to themselves. Some people have a variety of scenes and images in that mental storehouse. This is a very individualized part of the contemplative practice.
I deliberately constructed my personal rule to be more aspirational than physically demanding, so that I would not be forced to live an automatic failure. Setting for oneself an impossible goal would be egotistical. So, our physical limitations have to be humbly recognized, accepted, and accommodated.
What is MOST important is the regulation of the mind and where one lets it place its attention. After a lifetime of meditation and contemplation, I am far less at the mercy of my own mind than I was when I was young. Anyone can develop this skill. I don't lay claim to any particular power in this regard, only that I am accustomed to guiding my own mind to where I want it to go, which is the primary technique one needs in order to operate the tool of the mind that allows a person to participate in one long conversation, in companionship with God without distraction.
What has helped to guide me in the essentials of my spiritual discipline is the book "The Practice of the Presence of God" that details the wisdom of a 17th century French monk named Brother Lawrence. I read this the first time about 40 years ago, and I regularly revisit it to gain fresh encouragement to the task. I discuss it further in a later paragraph of this blog post.
SHRINE AT NIGHT
(c) Copyright 2024, Silver S. Parnell
All rights reserved.
DO NOT PRETEND TO REPRESENT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
To be clear, anyone may choose to live as a hermit, as long as one does not pretend to have any official status within the hierarchy of The Church.
There is a long and varied history of the hermit vocation, since the very inception of the Catholic faith, and lay persons have always had the way of the hermit open to them. The contemplative life is not owned by any special group of people. You do not have to be endowed with any sort of elevated status in order to lead a contemplative life by oneself.
But thou when thou shalt pray, enter
into thy chamber, and having shut the
door, pray to thy Father in secret and
thy Father who seeth in secret will
repay thee.
Matthew 6:6
(Douay-Theims 1899
American Edition)
It seems that fully half of the saints I read about have spent SOME time as hermits. They usually move on to a monastery or convent afterward. Sometimes they develop a following and a monastery is built up around them. Few remained as permanent hermits.
BEWARE OF EXCESSIVE CLERICALISM
There is a faction in the modern church that treat The Church as if it is a private country club with an exclusive upper class of a handful of very select people, with the rest of us walking in the dirt. It seems to me that, while our priests and other religious are certainly deserving of our love and respect, clericalism goes too far
Clericalism inappropriately endows priests and other vowed persons with extraordinary status that confers a type of spiritual perfection on them, as well as an artificially low one on the laity.
To be clear, I really do not think that our vowed religious are causing or encouraging any of this. They may not even be aware of it. I am pretty sure it is just something that the laity engage in. I do not know what causes it, but I have seen it in action, and I know it can cause a lot of damage, particularly because it alienates parishioners.
I wonder if clericalism played a part in the child abuse scandal because it shut off our customary caution when allowing our children to spend time alone with non-related adults. Priests and other religious, treated like demi-Gods, could not be challenged and had to be trusted completely.
Catholics suffering under toxic clericalism also misunderstand portions of the Catechism that say we "may" do certain things, turning them around to say that we MUST do them.
LAY HERMITS VERSUS DIOCESAN HERMITS
For example, a relatively new feature of Canon Law is the institution of the new "Diocesan Hermit" which allows a hermit to take public vows in the hands of the diocesan bishop, and they thereafter take direction from him.
My understanding is that Canon Law 603 regarding Diocesan hermits was created after Vatican II in order to provide a pathway for an already vowed person to move from their current state of Diocesan Priest or Monk or Nun to that of a hermit. For instance, if a priest wished to become a hermit, he would need to be released from some of his current responsibilities, in order to become a Diocesan Hermit.
This path also clarifies and rather solidifies the fact that, as a Diocesan Hermit, the priest would become responsible for supporting himself.
A lay person is allowed to take Diocesan Hermit vows, but it is less frequently done than in the case of already vowed persons who want to change their function within the church. Canon Law 603 makes explicit the new understandings of responsibilities on the part of the new Diocesan Hermit and of The Church, in return.
There have been hermits for more than 2,000 years, and it is only recently that this designation of "Diocesan Hermit" has been created.
A "LAY HERMIT" is a different sort of thing. But Catholics infected with clericalism, are now telling people that the only type of hermit allowed by The Church is this "Diocesan Hermit," and therefore lay hermits are not permitted. This is absolutely not true and it is not what the clause provides. Nowhere does it say that lay persons are prohibited from living as hermits.
In short, the "Diocesan Hermit" is only one type of hermit but not the only hermit that exists. Don't get me wrong. If you dress up in a way that mimics exactly the dress or collar of an publicly vowed nun or priest, and if you represent to others that you are under formal public vows and/or that you represent the Catholic Church, you could certainly get into trouble, especially if your theology differs from the official version, and The Catholic Church gets wind of it.
But it is enough to simply say that you are a "lay hermit," which specifically places you in the category of lay person. To make sure there is no confusion, I do not dress in either black or white. My colors are peach (the color of the desert sand) and lavender or purple (the color of asceticism.)
Up til now, I have avoided wearing anything that resembles a habit, but I have recently decided to go ahead and start making peach colored, simple dresses because my laundry is piling up and it is simpler to care for a wardrobe of a limited color, but also because I have recently been targeted by unwanted male attention when I have gone out by myself to doctor appointments with my wheelchair, and if I wear a plain dress to my ankles, I am sure it will help communicate a message of disinterest.
In any case, as long as I do not pretend to any official status, I am in safe territory, and you should be also. Just be aware of the proper, respectable observation of your state as a lay person, and you should be fine.
You are not required to become a Diocesan Hermit, but if you want to do that and you can convince your bishop to allow it, you can go ahead and try. But it is entirely optional and a lot depends on how much official input you want in the details of your daily life.
At one point, after several years of having difficulty getting the eucharist brought to my hermitage, I thought that a solution would be to become a Diocesan Hermit, because it might have been possible to have the Blessed Sacrament on my altar, retained in a monstrance. But although I wrote my Archbishop two emails and followed it up with several phone calls to his office during which I was promised a response, he never answered me. Ghosted by my bishop!
Ultimately, I could not imagine having to coordinate my activities with someone with whom communication might be extremely difficult. I opted for freedom instead. It is just as well. If The Lord intended me to become a Diocesan Hermit, the bishop would have answered at least one of my attempts to reach him. Everything works out for the best.
PRIVATE VOWS
20 years ago, I made private, informal vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.
Even though I have lived this life for 22 years, I am nowhere near the level of perfection of attention to my personal vows that I would like to be, and do not know if I will ever arrive at the goal. Monastic life is hard enough without being old and disabled and half-blind, with almost no support whatsoever. I don't have much family to speak of, certainly no one in the town where I live. My funds are limited, as I live on my Social Security income, and I have had no spiritual support from my official local parish, though I have reached out to a good priest in another nearby parish who has generously arranged for some help receiving the eucharist.
DON'T LET SATAN MOVE IN
I know that Satan craves the souls of those who have dared to even try to become saints in the slightest way. Anyone who has the nerve to commit to a prayer schedule, to live for God alone, to sacrifice anything for the sake of Him, is Satan's prey. He doesn't bother those who willingly walk through his front door.
This brings up a misunderstanding that many folks retain. If they are assaulted with a string of unfortunate circumstances, they may say, "I don't understand why God is allowing such things to happen to me! I have been so good!"
It is my belief that, there are times when, the more I devote my mind, heart and actions to The Lord, the more that The Devil will assail me with torments. He does not want me to go to God, and he hates it when I become more virtuous, so He tries to pull me away. I have seen this happen to other serious spiritual aspirants.
LACK OF SPIRITUAL SUPPORT
For this reason, I did try for a very long time to draw closer to the parish church in my area, so that I might be propped up by the Eucharist and some sort of spiritual support, but that parish is going through a terrible time right now while a surprising number of the parishes have been taken over by an awful political cult. The hate-filled, racist, inhumane and corrupt philosophy of Donald Trump has been transported into the heart of the Catholic Church, in many of the parishes, and if a spiritual seeker does not support Trump's madness and cruelty, they will be treated terribly by some of the parishioners who control the parish. These people are so confused that they actually believe that their devotion to Trump is virtuous, even though his language and his policies are full of hatred and cruelty. Terrible, barbaric things are being done by this administration, but the lovers of Trump do not see it. Anyway, I have been shunned from 3 parishes because of Trump's cult, and it is a good thing that I fairly detached from caring about the opinions of others. Some days it gets to me, and I weep heartily when I see the cruelty being exacted against my fellow man, but I am mostly waiting for Trumpism to fizzle out, because I am in constant pain and it is difficult to even WALK, much less go to war.
After trying and failing to get spiritual support from the local parish that is supposed to be my official contact for reception of the Eucharist, but which is dominated by Trumpers who shun me, I have approached a good priest from another nearby church. He has known me peripherally for a few years and is sending a lovely woman to my house to make arrangements for renewed reception of the Eucharist, thanks be to God!
To be clear, I am completely faithful to The Catholic Faith. I believe and follow everything that it officially believes and requires. The fact that there are people in the parishes who are hostile to the commandment of Christ that we shall love our neighbors as we love ourselves does NOT mean that The Church itself has made some type of pivot away from the commandments of Christ. It has not done that. We must all hold onto the faith, and things will revert to what they are supposed to be at some point.
There IS a movement among some members of the Catholic faith to take control of The Church and use it to manipulate the American government. It is a fascist movement which is trying, even now, to install an authoritarian government in place of our Democracy. Some of them are involved in the "Project 2025" effort that has been put into motion by the Trump Administration, but there is not much I can do about that, except to hope and pray that the Lord does not allow it or, at least, that he protects those of us who are not part of this perverse and sinful attempt to use The Catholic Church in order to gain political power.
Even if there are parishioners who are spreading false conspiracy theories among the laity and speaking hatefully about immigrants and people of color, we cannot let them interfere with our own obedience to Christ. Nor can we allow them to chase us away from our faith. We must be brave but also loving toward these misguided people.
If you are not disabled, and if you have transportation to your local parish, do not allow hostile Trump fanatics to chase you away from The Church. If at any time another parishioner tells you something about the faith that does not match your understanding of a loving God, I urge you to consult your Catechism. In fact, this is one era in which it is crucially important to be minutely familiar with that book.
Father Mike Schmitz has a wonderful "Catechism in a Year" podcast that you can hear for free on YouTube, and this is a great method of studying this essential book! You will be glad you did.
Orchids in the Kitchen Window
(c) Copyright 2024, Silver S. Parnell
All rights reserved.
THE OVERALL GOAL OF THE PRACTICE: PRAY WITHOUT CEASING
Pray without ceasing.
In all things give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you all."
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18
(Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition)
I use various methods to "pray without ceasing" and keep my mind fixed on God, even while doing other activities.
THE PRACTICE OF THE PRESENCE OF GOD
I daily bring to mind the lesson of the life of Brother Lawrence, and from him I derive my primary spiritual practice, and that is "The Practice of the Presence of God," which is also the name of the book credited to him.
Brother Lawrence was considered unfit for the high class job of being a priest or even a monk in the choir. Apparently, his intellectual and musical gifts were sparse. He usually found himself washing pots and pans in the kitchen, and it is in this lowly occupation that he found The Lord.
I seldom have help in my home and am often slaving over the dishes, which take me a very long time to finish because I am unable to stand for long periods of time, due to my bad knees and feet. (In fact, all my joints are my enemies, thanks to an inherited conditions.) I conjure up the humble attitude of Brother Lawrence while in this occupation, especially when I survey the mess that usually greets me.
As a physically disabled person, my Rule of Life has always been and will continue to be frankly aspirational, since my disabilities cause chaos in my schedule, I have very little income, no family (with the exception of friends who have adopted me), and my finances are like a straight-jacket. I am at the mercy of my circumstances, but I recognize the one crucial blessing that I have the "retirement" income to support my basic sustenance. My misfortunes are the cobblestones on the path to Heaven.
Chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows
With Amber Beads
Made by Silver S. Parnell
Years ago, an acquaintance who was also interested in monastic life asked me to give her a copy of my Rule of Life, which I had only just begun to imagine, and I gave her something which I whipped up quickly and which now seems entirely ridiculous. I hope she threw it away, as it was worthless, except to show me how much work I had left to do with regard to it.
22 years of experience as a solitary have taught me some things, and I am still learning, so you can fully expect that this Rule of Life will continue to evolve, as time goes on.
One of the many physical defects I inherited from my mother's family line is a wicked case of insomnia. Nothing seems to work to control it, so I do the best I can to maintain my schedule, in spite of it. If I am unable to meet the exact timing of the schedule, I adapt it to pray and chant the verbal prayers when I am able. I can't let perfection become the enemy of the good.
Orchids in the Kitchen Window
(c) Copyright 2025, Silver S. Parnell
All rights reserved.
The typical contemplative monastic will say or chant the Daily Office during specific times of the day. Each day is a long series of prayers, and I cannot do them all, particularly since they shift, according to the date and year, when some texts are substituted for others. Frankly, it is confusing. I think that Brother Lawrence and I have something in common here. I am not a high-class nun of the choir stall. I have many limitations.
When imagining my monastic practice, I had originally thought I would chant the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary, but this also, in its entirety, is too much for me, given all my physical restrictions. Instead, I chant only the Vespers at my 6:00 p.m. prayer time, when able.
Recently, I have begun to tune in to EWTN's televised mass in the morning, when I can rise early enough for it. After all these years, I STILL have trouble following it because there are so many variables within it, depending on the time of year and other factors. I have never been good at memorization, but I do the best I can and try very hard not to become too frustrated. I DO have a mass book that was recently sent to me by someone at EWTN but I still can't follow it because the mass being aired is different than what appears in the book. It is possible that it has something to do with the time of year, i.e., Lent - but there are also variables in the book itself. This has always been a problem for me, particularly because transportation became an issue when I became disabled, which was about the same time as when I officially joined the Catholic Church. I do the best I can.
With regard to the disabilities and chronic pain, every day brings its own load of suffering. Some days are taken up with doctor appointments. Others are occupied with "caregivers" who require supervision and training. My little service dog, though a blessed relief amongst the pain, is himself ill some of the time, now that he is old and decrepit like his mom, so I must work for HIM as well as myself.
A friend of the hermitage
Photograph by Silver "Rose" Parnell
Copyright (C) 2010, all rights reserved
None of my days are my own, since becoming disabled, which is why I must "pray without ceasing," by way of the practice of the presence of God, as my primary spiritual practice.
What this means is that I remain in communion with The Lord throughout the day, throughout duties from the most banal to the most beatific; from sweeping the floor to chanting the Angelus in Latin. There is a constant inner dialog between us, The Lord and me. When I encounter a difficulty with a task or I drop a plate, I am discussing it with Him.
Likewise, I implore the intercession of Our Blessed Mother and the Saints, to whom I will speak aloud, as I have been given the impression from Father Ripperger, and others, that the Saints and our Blessed Mother may not have the ability to hear my inner thoughts, though I have prayed that The Lord will allow this favor, so that my beloved silence can continue without too much interruption.
In addition to my regular devotions, I have added a few select prayers from Father Chad Ripperger's book of Deliverance Prayers for the Laity.
The deliverance prayers are for the purpose of keeping Satan at bay and chasing him and his demons out of my environment and away from my person. The disabled and isolated hermit is sometimes targeted by evil people who notice her vulnerability, and I need help keeping them at bay, which is why these prayers are necessary.
In addition, I often chant the Latin prayer from the Saint Benedict medal.
Crux sacra sit mihi lux
Non Draco sit mihi dux
Vade Retro Satana
Nunquam suade mihi vana
Sunt mala quae libas
Ipse venana biba!
Amen
I have accumulated a set of core prayers that I make effort to do daily at the times allocated for those, and if I have time, there are others that I also include. A few are chanted in Latin, which I am just learning to do - especially the Angelus at 6, noon and 6, because those are my core prayer hours. Although I am not able to do all the hours from the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I chant Vespers in Latin during the 6:00 Prayer time.
RULE OF LIFE FOR SILVER ROSE
"For my father and my mother have left me, but the Lord hath taken me up."
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her."
and
"But thou, when thou shalt pray, enter into thy chamber, and having shut the door, pray to thy Father in secret: and they Father who seeth in secret will repay thee."
One could obviously point out the contradiction that, here we are touting prayer in secret in a public forum, but this blog is being left as an instruction and a record, for the benefit of others of like mind, that they may be inspired and educated.
I have been living this life for two decades and, so far, it has not benefited me all that much to have a blog. My impression is that few people are interested in the difficulties of this kind of life. If my blog was about more traditional enjoyments, the result would be otherwise. Those who need this information will find it, and it is available for me when I need to direct interested persons' attention to it.
Even though assailed with numerous personal impediments, my practice is centered in unceasing prayer throughout the day. How is that done? The answer is deceptively simple. I keep my mind on Him throughout the day and maintain the consciousness of connection with Him - but not only Him. I am with the entire Heavenly Court in every action and effort of the day.
Standing, eating, sleeping, praying, doing the dishes - or taking a shower. In all those things and everything else, I am with them all in almost a tactile fashion. I feel the presence of The Lord, our Blessed Mother, the saints and the angels when I pray. Sometimes I "see" them, after a fashion, in my mind's eye.
Inner visualization is helpful to the spiritual practice of the presence of God. I am not necessarily referring to consolations sent by Heaven, and I am not pretending to the constant reception of these gifts. Mine is a practice that does not rely upon comfortable blessings.
FLOWERS AND ROCKS IN THE KITCHEN WINDOW
(C) Copyright 2024, Silver S. Parnell
All rights reserved
Everyone will have their own version of this. I fix my attention on the entire Heavenly Court in my practice. As it happens, I am descended from and related to more than two dozen saints, and these relatives make a joyous noise in my inner landscape. I imagine the denizens of Heaven are glad to see their descendant or cousin in the Catholic fold, after watching me bang around the world looking for God, after being born into a family that hated religion in general and Catholicism in particular.
It is my belief, or perhaps my hope, that, in addition to my guardian angel, my sainted ancestors were praying for me as they watched me search, in one place after another, for The Lord.
They were interceding for me, as I was bumbling around, looking for God, here and there, in order to get me where I am today, simply a Catholic of any variety. I don't forget them in my daily trials and tribulations because I credit all of them with helping to realize the grace that the Lord gave me by his allurements of my heart.
Saint Olga, "Equal to the Apostles"
My 24th Great Grandmother
Even in my terrible, anti-religious, Catholic-hating, abusive and horrible childhood, I felt His call, and I have a strong feeling that all those ancestor saints were participating. So - they are all part of my world today and it is to all of them, and the entire Heavenly Court, that I credit anything I am able to accomplish in my solitary monastic endeavor here, as an urban hermit without visible means of spiritual support.
It is my belief that it is important to have a personal story that one tells oneself in order to continue to hang onto the singular monastic ideal. However you see yourself in relation to the Divine should be something that gives you courage and resourcefulness, as well as confidence. There will be a particular orientation or a focus on one aspect of your family history that establishes and gives solidity to the contemplative vocation for oneself.
This orientation should be grounded in scripture. For instance, It has always been helpful to me to meditate upon Psalm 27 that says, in part:
For my father and mother have
forsaken me,
but the Lord hath taken me up.
Psalm 27:10
Despite having been raised without any religion and not having the advantage of prayer habits and memorizations learned in childhood, this Psalm reassures me that I am loved, protected, and taken to the heart of Our Lord, even though my parents did not behave in a loving manner toward me and might as well have abandoned me.
Solidly in my deliberations about how I ended up as a Catholic hermit, is the strong feeling that Satan was sure of me - sure that I would be his - because he had managed to disappoint, distract and detach my ancestors on both sides of the family, back to about the level of my 2nd and 3rd great grandparents, away from the Catholic Church. He was thrilled to capture the descendants of all those saints he had snatched from the solidly Catholic family tree, and then lured them across the sea to the new world.
These 2nd and 3rd great grandparents were the immigrant generations of my family tree. It appears that, for the most part, when these people sailed to America, they left their religion behind them, and all of them were Catholic, except for a few "Church of England" people. Some of them were descendants of saints, such as Saint Margaret of Scotland, Queen and wife of Saint Malcolm of Scotland, and Saint Olga of Kyiv, "Equal to the Apostles," patron saint of converts, and my 34th great grandmother.
Saint Olga of Kyiv
My 34th Great Grandmother
I am particularly encouraged by Saint Olga because she did some horrible things, repented, and became such a saint that she bears the moniker of "Equal to the Apostles." I could come nowhere near the level of brutality and hurtful sins over a wide swathe of territory that Saint Olga committed before becoming saintly. If Olga could become a saint, there is hope for all of us. Being the patron saint of converts gives me further courage, as I spent my whole life going from one religion to another, until I found Catholicism 30 years ago and converted from Hinduism....the latest of my religious adventures, in which I had become a Hindu nun .
In addition, Saint Olga lived during the time period PRIOR to the great schism in which right and left "lungs" of The Church breathed their last together, so my dedication of my prayers toward the reunification of the Catholic Church with the Orthodox is well-founded.
What strikes me as significant (and which hits me with a bit of awe) is that I decided on the dedication of my hermit life to the reunification of East and West branches of The Church BEFORE I ever knew anything about Saint Olga or that she was my ancestor.
The Lord arranges these things nicely, it seems to me. He had something in mind for me for a very long time, just as He does for everyone, I imagine.
This is not to say that you must be descended from saints in order to be sure of your path as a disabled hermit. I am just giving you an accounting of what helps to keep me on this journey.
View from the Hermitage Window
HERMITAGE DEDICATION
My prayers are offered up for the purpose of the reunification of the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Church through a reversal of The Great Schism by the offering up of all my pains and sufferings as reparation for my sins and the sins of the whole world.
PATRON SAINTS
- Saint Olga, "Equal to the Apostles"
- Saint Rose of Lima
- Saint Margaret of Castello
- All the hermit saints
- My ancestor saints in Heaven
Hermitage Shrine
(c) Copyright 2024, Silver S. Parnell
All rights reserved.
MARIAN DEVOTIONS
- Sorrowful Mother
- Our Lady of Fatima
- Our Lady of Knock
- The Virgin of Guadalupe
Our Lady of Sorrows
COLORS
- Peach - the color of the expansive, solitary wilderness of the desert
- Lavender (light purple) - the color of penance and sacrifice
I am not currently wearing any habit, but when I wrap a prayer shawl around me or put a veil over my head, it might be peach or lavender, and I will think of the significance of those colors.
At some point in the future, I plan to design and make some long dresses to simplify my wardrobe, since keeping up with laundry is such a trial at present, and simplifying my daily work is part of my duty.
Personal Limitations:
Rather than commit to praying the entire Daily Office or even the whole Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I have a number of devotions that I pray throughout the day. They are shorter or more simple than the standard daily office and can be "plugged in" as disabilities allow. (I do try to pray Vespers from the Little Office during my 6 p.m. prayers.)
Generally speaking, I consider the Angelus and the 3 sessions of silent meditation to be the rock bottom basic requirement. Other things get filled in, as ability presents itself.
Nuns Praying
by Mateos Campos Felipe for Unsplash
[Core Hours in Bold]
Rising - 5 a.m.
Morning prayer - 6 a.m.
Noon prayer - 12:00 p.m.
Afternoon prayers - 3:00 p.m.
Evening prayer - 6:00 p.m.
Bedtime prayers - 9:00 p.m.
Minimum spiritual practices
As I mention elsewhere, the complete schedule is "aspirational" due to disabilities, doctor appointments, physical therapy visits, etc., but the minimum schedule is hoped for. Other prayers are "plugged into" the schedule, as the situation permits. Combination of prayers and silent meditation range from 4 to 7 hours per day.
3 Angelus prayers per day in Latin ( 6/noon/6)
3 hours of silent meditation per day (6/noon/6)
Practice of the presence of God (all day)
Daily Offering
1 Daily Rosary
Miraculous Medal Prayer
Woman praying in Church
by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash
A partial listing of the prayers that may be plugged into each of the above hours, follows:
Partial List of Daily Prayers:
Rising Prayers - 5 a.m.
*Morning Offering / Brown scapular - "O my God, in union with the Immaculate Heart of Mary (kiss the scapular as a sign of my consecration), I offer thee the Precious Blood of Jesus from all the altars throughout the world, joining with it the offering of my every thought, word and action of this day. O my Jesus, I desire today to gain every indulgence and merit I can, and I offer them, together with myself, to Mary Immaculate, that she may best apply them to the interests of Thy most Sacred Heart. Precious Blood of Jesus, save us! Immaculate heart of Mary, pray for us! Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us!"
*Miraculous Medal Prayer - Short: "O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!" (kiss the medal.)
*Miraculous Medal Prayer - Complete: "O Virgin Mother of God, Mary Immaculate, I dedicate and consecrate myself to thee under the title of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal. May this medal be for me a sure sign of thy affection for me and a constant reminder of my duties toward thee. Ever while wearing it may I be blessed by thy loving protection and preserved in the grace of thy son. AMEN" (Kiss the medal.)
Priest holding up Eucharist
by Jacob Bentzinger on Unsplash
PIETA PRAYER BOOK:
*"Come Holy Spirit" prayer
*Pray 7 "Glory Be's" to the Holy Spirit for enlightenment.
*Prayer to Guardian Angel
*Pray 7 "Glory Be's" to my Guardian Angel for guidance.
MY SAINT PIO PRAYER BOOK:
Page 38
*Prayers to St. Michael, the Archangel:
*Prayer to Our Guardian Angel
*Invocations to Our Guardian Angels
*St. Patrick's Breastplate
UNITED STATES CONFERENCE OF CATHOLIC BISHOPS' WEBSITE FOR DAILY BIBLE READING:
*https://bible.usccb.org/
(I read the day's Bible readings, then take a break for coffee and to set up the shrine with candles and incense.)
Morning Prayer - 6:00 a.m.
*Seal myself with holy water and pray the "Glory Be"
LITTLE OFFICE OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY
Appendix V
*The Angelus, chanted in Latin (Except in Pascal Time, when I chant the Regina Coeli.)
*p. 18 - Prayer to defeat the work of Satan
*p. 23 - Prayer to St. Gertrude the Great
*p. 26 - Prayer to obtain the grace of all the world's masses.
*p. 38 - Devotion to the Sorrowful and the Immaculate Heart of Mary:
This message was confided by Our Lord to Berthe Petit, a humble Franciscan tertiary, born on January 23, 1870, at Enghien, Belgium:
"Teach souls to love the heart of thy Mother, pierced by the very sorrows which pierced mine." - confided to Berthe Petit (December 25, 1909)
~
"I have called myself the Immaculate Conception. To you, I call myself Mother of the Sorrowful Heart. This title, willed by my son, is dear to me above all others. Accordingly, as it is spread everywhere, there will be granted graces of mercy, spiritual renewal, and salvation."
"Mary, Queen of the Holy Angels, pray for us."
DELIVERANCE PRAYERS
-For Use by the Laity-
by Fr. Chad Ripperger, PhD.
"For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places." St. Paul, in Ephesians 6:12
* p. 39 - Perimeter prayer
*p. 15 - Prayer of Authority
*p. 18 - Prayer of Protection
*p. 25 - Prayer to Remove Generational Spirits
*p. 38 - Short Form Deliverance
*p. 14 - Invocation of the Entire Heavenly Court
*p. 44 - Consecration of One's Exterior Goods to the Blessed Virgin Mary.
*p. 44 - Prayer Against Oppression for Those Who have Consecrated Their Exterior Goods
*p. 92 - Prayers of the Auxilium Christianorum
*Meditation - one hour
*1 hour silent meditation
Afternoon Prayer - 3:00 p.m.
- Chaplet of some variety, usually Sorrowful Mother or St. Michael the Archangel
- Brief silent meditation, depending upon time available.
Vespers - 6:00 p.m.
- Angelus (Latin)
- Vespers (Latin) from Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary
- One Hour Meditation
Bed time (Compline) - 9 p.m.
The Pieta Prayer Book
*p. 16 - Prayer for Daily Neglects
*p. 16 - Prayers for the Pope
ASCETIC PRACTICES
Fasting - Monday through Saturday
- No breakfast
- Remainder of day: 1 meal & 1 snack
Fasting - Fridays
- In addition to the above, no meat.
I have several saintly patrons, one of whom is Saint Rose of Lima. She was an able-bodied and beautiful young woman and therefore had to inflict upon herself various painful practices. To destroy her beauty, she rubbed pepper on her face. That kind of thing.
I do not relate to her beauty. I identify more with her home-bound ministry and her creative sewing and embroidery that she made at home and then sold to help the poor.
In the middle-ages, a "hair shirt" and other instruments of torture were used to bring suffering upon the practitioner.
But the elderly and/or disabled hermit has no need of that. Our bodies produce their own pain and suffering, without any help from our will.
The fasting is a token, with a nod toward my hermit brothers and sisters, and in union with those in the world who really are too poor for proper food. There ARE days when a disturbed schedule or a physical problem will make it so that I have to eat during a time I had not anticipated, but this is in line with the idea that the entire Rule of Life is "aspirational."
Throughout the day, especially when I am being challenged by pain and suffering of some sort, and I need the intercession of The Divine, I will resort to short "ejaculations" such as one of the following:
- Lord, save me!
- Blessed Mother, intercede for me!
- Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a poor sinner!
- Holy Spirit, inspire me!
- Guardian Angel, guide me!
I have never been very good at memorization, so I stick with these short prayers when I am immersed in daily activities or in too much pain to offer anything complex.
When dealing with intense pain:
During times of protracted, intense suffering, or during a time when I would typically be taking a meal but have fasted instead, I offer up those episodes of suffering with a form of prayer given to us by our Lady of Fatima:
"O, my Jesus, it (this sacrifice) is for love of thee, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary."
There are days when that Fatima prayer may be all I can do. My inabilities do a lot to keep me humble. I also pray The Litany of Humility and I say a prayer for Daily Neglects that I found in the Pieta Prayer Book, which is so helpful to me.
Generally speaking, being disabled and in need all the time, and having to beg for help from all the unrelated people who have to be talked into rendering aid, is a humiliating experience. The Litany of Humility is rarely needed.
I enjoy my life very much, otherwise. Picking through my favorite prayers and praying them, when I have time to add them, is a great joy. If I was not constantly stressed by lack of transportation and other mundane issues, life would be sublime.
But I am frequently reminded that, no matter what is happening must be within God's will somewhere, and therefore it is all okay. When I was a nun in the Hindu convent, my Hindu teacher used to say the same....that when we wonder what God is doing, just say to ourselves, "something good is going on."
I realize that this is a very long post and may not appeal to many, but it was time to give some picture of my life to my readers, before it is too late, and to provide some insight for others who may be thinking about taking up this life. I will likely do a bit more work on it and then publish it in book form.
DONATIONS:
My income is currently my Social Security retirement funds into which I paid during the 30 years I worked prior to becoming disabled. Occasionally, I receive a small residual check from the few brief years that I wrote for television. I do not receive any assistance from the Catholic Church, but I do have a very kind friend and her husband who contribute to the household every month, with paper goods from Costco and other kindnesses, for which I am eternally grateful.
I do have a "GOFUNDME" campaign that is still active, due to a terrible construction project at my hermitage location, but my experience has demonstrated that almost no one contributes unless someone ELSE makes the appeal for the person needing help. Ironically, it is those who are most alone who get the least assistance, probably because of the great number of scammers and thieves in our world today. I trust the Lord will take care of my needs.
Still, it is worth mentioning that I am in need of a car or van onto which can be installed a lift for my electric wheelchair, so it is worth mentioning that, if you know of anyone who may be able to donate such a vehicle, please get in touch with me.
If you have any questions about this post, or anything else, shoot me a message on Facebook, or you can always comment on this platform.
In the meantime, God bless you all!
Silver Rose
Silver Cottage Hermitage
