SAINT ARNULF OF METZ, My 38th Great Grandfather, July 18

 

Saint Arnulf of Metz

during his hermitage

The only way for me to get a blog written today is to just let it roll and ask for your understanding. I don't have the time or the health to cut it down to size! So - "stream of consciousness" is the mode of the day.

Today another ancestor is celebrated as a Saint. Some people scoff at the idea that one can know that information or rely upon it, but they do not realize how many people are alive today that are descended from some wildly interesting folks in the past. 37 generations have passed since Saint Arnulf walked the earth, and that represents, most likely, quite a few living descendants. Each saint who HAD children has their own peculiar family line, of course, and it is true that some have only a small handful of descendants living today, due to a break in the lineage in which few children lived to produce offspring, but I don't have that information ready to hand. I always enjoy doing the genealogy of friends I meet along life's path because every once in a while we discover that we are cousins, with a saint in our history.

Arnulf is the third great grandfather to Charlemagne, another ancestor of mine. There is such a wide range of historical events on which my ancestors impinged that I admit to being unable to remember it all, though I am trying to be more thorough about that. What is important to me, however, is not the political or cultural events on which they had some influence, but the spiritual lessons and guidance I may gain. I suppose that's obvious.

In Catholicism, if someone is designated as an official saint, it typically means (among other things) that one can be sure that the person is residing in heaven and not purgatory or hell. I believe they have to have been held responsible for a certain number of miracles as proof of their heavenly abode!

Saint Arnulf's miracles seem a bit thin to me, but how much can we know, really, about miracles in the 6th century? One of them involved a small amount of beer that turned into a large amount of beer miraculously, enough to quench the thirst of everyone present, in a beery version of Jesus turning the water into wine. Therefore, St. Arnulf is the patron saint of brewers! Next time you have a beer, drink one in honor of Saint Arnulf! Personally, I have never been much of a drinker, and my medications react badly with alcohol anyway, so I won't be hoisting one for my 38th great grandfather, but I'm pretty sure he won't mind the slight.

I LOVE the idea that we can talk to these ancestor saints just as we would a beloved grandfather who is sitting in his favorite chair in our parlor. I never had a grandfather in this life. Where some people have pictures of their parents and grandparents, I have icons of the saints I'm descended from. I haven't collected all of them, but one day I will start a prayer corner that has pictures of all them hanging on the wall. It should probably be a collection of miniatures, because there is more than two dozen of them.

Personally, I rely upon my sainted ancestors quite a great deal because my more immediate family, which admittedly was quite small, gave up religion several generations ago and I was not close to any of them. They were cruel to me. I think there may be a correlation.

Some people use religion to cover themselves in respectability, using the semblance of faith as a tool to pop open other people's wallets. I feel sad for them, to be honest, because they've sold their souls at such a pitiful price. Houses, cars and the manipulations that money allows haven't brought them half the joy they thought it would. But perhaps joy is not the word. Relief from fear is probably more accurate. 

More hellish then spending your golden years in poverty, to my mind, is facing that yawning abyss at the end of each of our lives when we will have to meet our maker. The clock ticks away, and every day each of us is one step closer to the final curtain on our earthly drama, and all the money in the world can't save you. Sneer at the cliché as much as you like, but you are just inches from breathing your last, and then what?

These are the thoughts of the saints, I believe. Look at the ordinary lives of someone such as Saint Arnulf of Metz. He pursued the expected goals of the day, participating in wars and schemes. But his wife (my sainted 38th great grandmother Doda) inspired him - or perhaps she scared him by enumerating his sins, which wives often know better than even the man himself. She took the veil while still married to him and not long afterward, he gave up his privileged life and retired to a hermitage to live out his last years.

Even such people as these can be used by God to reflect his glory or accomplish his aims because, being all good, he can (and often does) bring the greatest good out of the greatest evil. In this way, he frustrates (and infuriates) Satan, who thinks he is winning the war against God when he can lead a person to pervert their own character and do his work for him. This is the spiritual reality behind that old saying about every cloud having a silver lining. Good always wins in the end, though it is sometimes hard to recognize it when one is too much involved. Sometimes you've got to be detached and step away from that cloud before you can see the silver lining.

When we read about a saint, such as my great grandfather Arnulf, they seem, at first to be ordinary for their day and station in life. When we see them develop into saints, it is sometimes hard to fathom. How does one "become" such a saint? But the saintliness has been there all the time - buried deep within, and the only change is the removal of dirt from the glass that covers the lamp of the soul. Spiritual practices removes the dirt, and then you can see the light.

Arnulf was a multifaceted person. Like many of my ancestors, he belonged to the nobility. He served at the Merovingian court and got his training under Theudebert II, another relation of mine, with scantier attachment. (He is a cousin or great uncle of some sort. I would call him a "shirt tail" relation.) Arnulf was initially made a "dux" which is the precursor of the word "Duke," I believe. Anyway, it is the same sort of thing. He ruled somewhere along the Scheld River in Northern France, Belgium, and the Netherlands.

At some point, he was offered "the See of Metz," near the junction of France, Germany and Luxembourg, and he thus became bishop.  But before this, his wife "took the veil!" I'd like to have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation! Of course, in those days, especially with the nobility, marriage was a business arrangement between two families. "Love matches," something we take for granted, were rare. His wife, Dode or Doda was ALSO sainted, and historians do posit that it may have been her holy influence that turned him more toward God.

But, before holy orders, Arnulf joined Pepin of Landen (my 39th great grandfather, who was also a BLESSED) in a war against Brunhilda, who ruled Austrasia and Burgundy on behalf of her grandchildren. Brunhilda was married to my 40th great granduncle Sigebert. She was quite something, a very strong lady who wielded a lot of power, but I don't think she was a particularly religious person. Brunhilda was tortured and killed, and I believe Arnulf felt some guilt over this and other sins.

Toward the end of his life, Arnulf retired to become a religious hermit - so here we are, come full circle. Another hermit in the family!

I got very little done today. The older I get, the slower I go. The routine gets harder and harder by the day. I don't mind - not really. As time goes on, and I become more and more accustomed to the reality of growing older whilst being physically disabled, I feel myself surrendering to it. I had better surrender because, when I don't, I get SO frustrated, I just want to throw things. It's no fun feeling like that. The good thing about all my limitations is that I don't have the stamina to do much sinning. I can be grateful for that! 

Tomorrow I have been promised a caregiver to come and help me in the house. I pray that it works out because I've been without help for the last couple years that I have needed it, and it has been very hard on me to live surrounded by the mess. I was always a meticulous housekeeper. and now I can't do it.

I don't pray for release from my physical ills, but I do pray for the grace to endure it. We all grow old, if we are lucky not to die young. In the meantime, I offer it all up as an ascetic practice.

I just wish I was a better writer or artist. I would be able to better support myself in my old age. I am learning how to make wire wrapped jewelry, but so far it does not look like I have a remarkable talent there EITHER. It is very frustrating. Then I remind myself that it is not important in the general scheme of things. End of days.

This one has a little St. Benedict

medal hanging from the bottom, 

which can be blessed by your

parish priest, if you choose.

My car is missing TWO windows now! It is very inconvenient when the temperature is in the high nineties. I have a GOFUNDME campaign, but I don't know that many people to whom I can advertise it, and my story isn't pathetic enough, I suppose. It sounds like a "first world problem," but people don't realize that I am STRANDED without a car, and I will faint if I have to be out in 90 degree heat. The caregiver may be able to help me with some of this until the car is fixed. The weird thing is that I worry that the bugs in the garage will move into the car before I have a chance to get the windows fixed. We have SO many big bugs here!

My little "bug," Mr. Charlemagne, has been sucking on his teeth and his little body is beginning to feel a bit warm - which means, of course, he needs to have his teeth worked on and he probably has an infection in one, an abscess or something. So I have to take the little guy to the vet, which I cannot afford - at all.  There are many reasons to have a service dog in my life. It was recommended by the police because I was getting constant attempted break-ins, and living without ANY form of affection for another creature is not healthy, but it isn't fair to a little animal to let them suffer with pain and illness because I have "adopted" something I don't have the money to care for properly. So this little guy is my last dog because instead of the relief one is supposed to experience from the affection of an animal (especially a guard animal) it represents to me a tremendous amounts of stress.

The emergencies all pile one on top of the other when living on a fixed income. I'm not the only one experiencing it. All these ladies that live in this apartment complex endure some version of it, especially those who do not have family. I'm just the only person TALKING about it.

Charlemagne, named after

another relative of mine

I am trying hard to be as surrendered as possible, to accept all the pain, inconvenience and limitations with grace. What I find very interesting is that the more difficult circumstances become, the closer the Lord comes to me. It is remarkable. I had not expected it, but this is the way it works.

Please pray for me, as I pray for you.

May we all be blessed!

Mother Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

P.S. All of the blog posts I write are independently researched and written by me and all of them are protected by legal copyright, so please just enjoy them here and leave them here where you found them and do not copy any of it to any other place for any purpose.

(c) Copyright 2022, Silver S. Parnell

All rights reserved.

SAINT PETER OF MOUNT ATHOS, TRINITY SUNDAY - JUNE 12TH

 

Saint Peter of Athos is today's saint. Unlike most of the ones I write about, he is not related to me, but he was a hermit and is said to be the first monastic on the island of Mount Athos that is now famously covered with monasteries.  For more than 1,000 years, the Monks of Mount Athos have been chanting the prayers of the Orthodox faith without ceasing.

I am always curious about hermits because, so far, all of them are intentional hermits and not accidental ones like me. I look to them for encouragement, example, and inspiration.

Once I found myself unable to work and somewhat isolated, about 20 years ago, I did choose to dedicate my life to God, but being a hermit was nothing I had ever aspired to do prior to finding myself in the position of being unable to work due to physical pain and disability. Over time, I have realized that my solitary condition is the only real ascetic practice that I have, other than offering up the chronic, constant pain I have suffered for the last 20 years. It's interesting how these things work out. God has a way of organizing it into an organic flow of its own. I have accepted God's will, as it has been revealed by circumstance.

Today was also Trinity Sunday. I won't even try to begin to explain the Trinity, the central concept of the Catholic faith. It is not a simple aspect of our theology, and I am too tired to even look for a good quote. 

I rarely experience a day when I do not feel ill. The pain is marginally addressed with medication but causes other issues, including chronic insomnia. I can't seem to sleep more than 4 hours at a time, for one thing, and I have days when I am dragging myself through my activities. Today was one of those days. I had overdone things yesterday when I had tried to clean my house and do some laundry. The kitchen is a particular problem, since standing in one spot, to do dishes for instance, causes quite a bit of pain. So, the kitchen is almost always in a bad state. It is a constant struggle.

As I have mentioned before, I was approved for caregiver services 2 years ago but have been unable to actually avail myself of those services. There are no caregivers available and the agencies usually ask me to provide someone MYSELF in order to run them through the agency. Only the people who have relatives willing to do this job end up having their needs met. The rest of us go without. (I have previously told you about a handful of people I was offered who caused more problems than they solved - middle-aged drug addicts who had never had a job in their lives before showing up at my door because they had to show a paycheck to the judge to get their kids back who tried to bully me into letting them do their own shopping on my time, people who wanted to lay on my couch and eat my food, and a couple disabled individuals who thought they could sit around and get paid for keeping me company. That sort of thing.) 

I have not just sat around and waited for someone to show up. I got creative and advertised for a caregiver many times through various websites, and I did find quite a few people who said they wanted to do the job, but when they learned that I wanted them to register with an agency to get paid, they each said the same thing, i.e., that Medicaid does not pay enough and that they wanted me to pay them cash, under the table, or they would not take the job. So, there ARE people available to do the work but they won't do it at the pay that the government allows.

I have called every single approved agency on the Medicaid list MORE than once and their situation is such that they don't even have a waiting list. They just tell me they can't help me - except for the one agency that promised me a caregiver, then when I got switched over to them, they claimed that the three days it took to get it done was "too long" and that they had given the caregiver to someone else. They offered to give me someone who refuses to get a Covid shot, which seems ludicrous. I declined to risk my life just to get my dishes done. They offered me a woman who, when she showed up,  told me she intended to spend the day watching movies on Netflix on her phone or sitting and reading because she has gout and can not stand on her feet. (She refused to stay and even TRY to do the job and kept telling me that her last client did not "make" her work and that she only kept her company and brought her a sandwich when she asked for food. THAT poor woman ended up going into a nursing home because she wasn't getting the care she needed.)

I have called Medicaid have a dozen times and they just ended up telling me they can't do anything about it and to call the Department of Aging and Long Term Services who, in turn, told me to call Medicaid. Finally I called the Governor's office four times and emailed them once but never received a phone call back from them, despite assurances that I would. I sent an email to the President of the United States asking him if there wasn't something HE could so, since he was coming to our state - but I got crickets, of course. He has bigger fish to fry, obviously, but I wanted to do everything I could to advocate for myself before I gave up entirely.

Occasionally a friend will come by to do my dishes, and I am grateful I have this help. But meals happen every day and it isn't long before the dishes pile up after I have a few bad days.

Today was Sunday, a day when I typically ease up on my diet, as it is a "feast" day, and I was really hungry, so I decided to get a rare pizza from Pizza Hut.  As usual, it was a disappointing experience.

It is much too expensive to have them deliver the pizza, which always arrives cold ANYWAY, so I arranged for a "contact free" pick up. I was to notify them when I got there, and they were to bring the food out to my car, just a few steps outside their front door.

Arriving at the restaurant 5 minutes after the pizza was supposed to be ready, I called the Pizza Hut number and a woman said she would "tell them" and that someone would come out with the pizza. No one came out, of course. I did see one employee outside, loitering with a homeless looking girl and polishing the hood of a car that was parked out there.

A van pulled up and a driver went in and back out again and drove away. Another van with a Texas license plate drove up and parked behind me so I could not leave if I wanted to. They went in and came out with a pizza and some Pepsi. Ten minutes went by. I saw an employee go in and out several times.

When I'd been there 20 minutes, I call again and the woman said, "well, you should have called when you arrived."

"I DID call," I told her, annoyed about the whole thing. The rude woman on the phone said she notified them that I was waiting but I may just have to go into the store. It was supposed to be "contactless pickup" and they were supposed to bring it out to my car. 

So, I hobbled into the store, with my purse and my cane. The diffident and unapologetic girl behind the counter said that she had gotten no notice at all! My pizza was ready - sitting there, in the warming oven. I hobbled back out with it, juggling pizza, chicken wings, cane and purse. No tip was paid to these people and I told them I would not be back. I had given them many many chances over the years, but their food and their service is uniformly bad, and it would be crazy for me to give them any more chances.

By the time I got home, the pizza was cold, so I put it in the toaster oven. Half of it was just plain old bread. It was the worst pizza I have ever had.

I think it is time to revert to eating raw fruits and vegetables and maybe some canned beans and rice or baked yams, with nuts and seeds to supplement.  It will be healthy and perhaps I will lose some weight. That way, I can avoid too many dishes. If I can get a chair into the kitchen, I won't be faced with having to stand to clean and chop veggies.

I bet Peter of Mount Athos did not eat much. I found myself being curious about the diet of the original hermits. I am betting it was also mostly raw food. In any case, it was frugal, I'm sure.

Today I made a couple pair of earrings from aluminum wire and some other findings I had on hand. I hope to sell them at a local store. I added them to the dozen or so I had made previously. Even hermits have to do some kind of manual labor to support themselves.

My favorite Carmelite nuns, with a monastery in Colorado Springs, Colorado, are part of an ascetic order of nuns that live mostly in silent adoration of the Divine, practicing meditation, chanting the holy office and immersed in mental prayer. But they have to bring in money to support themselves also, so they have a website where they sell special hand-made rosaries, religious medals, books, and all sorts of things. (By the way, you can find them at: SISTERS OF CARMEL) I highly recommend them.

I remember reading about the monks of Mount Athos when I was a nun in the Hindu convent. Mount Athos is extremely important to the mystical heart of the Orthodox Christian world. Like most monasteries, there are no females allowed on Mount Athos EXCEPT for cats which keep the mice and rats under control!

Photo from an article on a blog devoted to Greece

"The Only Female Allowed on Mount Athos"

GREECE HIGH DEFINITION BLOG

I was surprised and delighted at the number of cats that swarm about the monasteries.

If you would like to read and see more of it, The Guardian also did a wonderful picture essay about it, which you can see HERE - "The Holy Mountain: Monks of Mount Athos

In addition to the monks of the monasteries that live there, the hills are dotted with tiny little hermit "cells" where the hermits live with the bones of the hermits that lived there before them. The bones are kept in a silver box. I'm not sure what the point is of that but it probably assists the monk in keeping his mind on the reality of human life and death. The little hermit cells look fairly dirty and unkempt. I am not sure what the older hermits eat, because some of them can no longer even get out of their cells because it would mean climbing the rocky hills and ledges where their cells are perched. One of them has lived in his cell for 64 years but can no longer come out because he can't handle the rocky climb. I am assuming that the monks of the monastery must leave him some kind of food to eat or they lift it up to him with an arrangement of pullies and baskets. When comparing my situation with his, I live like a queen, so I try to keep this all in perspective.

CBS NEWS did a report about the health of the monks of Mount Athos. The monks there live very long lives with "shockingly low" rates of cancer, heart disease, and other illnesses that plague modern man. Alzheimer's is almost "unheard of." This really IS surprising.

READ THE CBS REPORT HERE

Their remarkable health is attributed to their diet of simple meals eaten at regular intervals in what is known as "the Mediterranean Diet" which is the diet that every one of my doctors has recommended I use! How wonderful that the diet for my good health is the same as the simple diet of ascetic monastics that I am trying to emulate!

I am pretty sure they don't have a Pizza Hut on Mount Athos. They also do not have any women or children (obviously.) They pray and meditate, do a lot of physical work, and eat a wholesome Mediterranean diet that includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, olive oil, nuts and seeds.

In addition to the nuts and seeds, there are some supplements that the doctors recommend.  All of these things are on my wish list on Amazon. They have my address and can mail to me directly.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY WISH LIST

I hope and pray that you all have a wonderful week. I will be working to try to make a little extra money with my art projects but I will not forget to pray for all of you, as I hope that you also pray for me.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

BLESSED MARIE-ANNE HACHER DU BOIS - At the Mercy of Circumstance - New Years' Resolutions

 

Blessed Marie-Anne Hacher du Bois

being dragged to her death during the French Revolution

The ONE woman on the Catholic calendar of saints for whom November 2 is the feast has almost nothing written about her that I can find on the internet. Imagine this: that you give up your life, to die in an horrific manner, for the sake of your religion, and the Church in which you do this doesn't bother to retain information about your life story.

As usual, the official "Saint of the Day" is Basil "The Great" and there are all sorts of things written about him. Historians might say that more is known about this man than Marie-Anne Hacher du Bois, who was martyred for her faith - but I would contend there is a reason for that as well. Historians are traditionally men, and men ignore the accomplishments and saintliness of women. Yes, I am expressing a broad generalization, but this generalization is far more true than not.

Despite the paucity of information for this female "blessed," I am taking her up anyway. Oddly enough, we have her actual birth date, April 3, 1765, and her death date: February 10, 1794, in Avrille, France. As an expert genealogist, I will tell you that knowing the exact birth date of someone born in the mid 18th century is fairly unusual, with the exception of those born into the royal houses of Europe. As far as I know, this blessed was an ordinary woman of Anjou, France. Some of her "biographies" say she was a laywoman. A few claim her as a nun. In any case, she died during the French Revolution for the sake of her faith.

Whenever I am studying a saintly person from history, I always try to align myself with their circumstances, and in this respect, with this particular woman, I feel like she and I were each caught up in the turmoil of general societal circumstances over which we have no control. In her life, it was the French revolution, and in mine it is a world-wide pandemic and, to a lesser degree, a government that has gone mad in the hands of a wealthy despot.

Spiritual life transcends every other aspect of existence, as far as I am concerned. Those of us who have given ourselves over entirely to our faith must opt to follow the dictates of that faith rather than occupy our hearts and minds with anger toward our circumstances. Most Americans are distracted by the dangers of the "novel" Covid virus and the implied perils and pitfalls of a surprisingly fascist government, but Jesus himself was killed at the hands of misguided government, and his inner peace and sense of mission were not thrown off by it. Other than educating the powers-that-be when they accosted him, he stayed focused on the matters of God.

I am too easily distracted by the failures of everyone else, specifically with regard to orders I place for various survival items. None of the merchants I deal with seem to be able to produce the items they claim they have for sale, but they go ahead and send me SOMETHING ELSE I cannot use. Food prepared or picked by others arrives rotten or unpleasant or otherwise WRONG in some way. This is all complicated by the fact that when I prepare my own meals or make my own supplies, I am unable to clean up after myself, as it requires more standing than I am able to tolerate while washing pots and pans.

As I write this, pots and pans from CHRISTMAS DAY remain in the sink, moldering away. (The nuns of the Vedanta Convent could tell you about my messy cooking habits, which have not changed. They would always ask me plaintively, "can't you wash your OWN pots and pans?" I could not. Standing on my crumbling bones to cook the meal for a dozen women was all I could manage because, even though I was only in my mid-30's, the arthritis I inherited from my mother's side of the family had already taken hold and was eating away at my bones and joints. Thank God I was a fairly good cook.)

I COULD have an attendant come to help me from the agency. Medicaid will pay for it. But it is far too dangerous to have someone come into my house when there is a deadly pandemic virus coursing through the population. The world and everyone in it has become dangerous.

These pressures have taken their toll on my mood. I have become irritated far too easily - and this corresponds with my failure to discipline myself better with my meditation routine. Like many elderly disabled people who suffer constant pain, I am having trouble sleeping, and it is throwing me off my schedule. This has been going on for a very long time, and whenever I push myself very hard to adjust my sleep, I not only fail to do what I aim to do but I also have an even greater difficulty restraining the irritation.

It has become obvious that two things are now necessary. I need to give up many of my "do it yourself" decisions and habits. I can no longer "do it myself" no matter how hard I try. My body has retaliated against me.

As was once suggested to me by a very spiritually advanced priest, I need to use the many painful circumstances of my life to push me closer to the Divine, and this is, indeed, the job of the mystic.

For instance, since I am determined to simplify while at the same time eating very healthy, I can also develop a type of ascetic eating habit that involves as much raw fruit and veg as possible. To some degree, some of my food has to be prepared by others, so I have decided to try a food delivery service called DAILY HARVEST, which is rather expensive and will really cut into my food supplies. Therefore, I will also use this as an opportunity to lose more weight - though perhaps in a faster mode than previously. Mostly, I have ordered some frozen fruits and veg that, combined with some soy milk in the blender, will be a nutritious breakfast. They ship it to you in dry ice, after the fresh fruit and veg have been frozen "at the farm." We shall see.

Secondly, I need to work on my decision to avoid complaining.  To qualify that term, I would say that reporting what has happened is not the same thing as complaining. Frankly, I have found that for poor people, most news is "bad" news. Nearly every saint I have studied had a life liberally peppered with unfortunate circumstances. It is how you greet your circumstances that is the key. Everyone has to decide for themselves what this means, but I think that desiring too much sympathy may be a warning sign, at times. But mostly, I would say that one's mood is the real indicator.

Now - what if you have what is called a "mood disorder?" I am not a psychiatrist and I don't have a mood disorder myself, so I can't say. I do have a big case of PTSD, dating back to childhood, and this comes with its own baggage, but my personal experience is that the decision to manage it is the tell-tale indicator of whether or not one is complaining or simply reporting the daily goings on of life.

The most important signal to watch for, I would imagine, is whether or not one remains curious about the welfare of OTHERS. If you lose track of the needs and circumstances of other humans and remain focused on your own disappointments, selfishness has taken hold.

As with all spiritual disciplines, it is not one's success in overcoming all these obstacles that is the most important thing. It is our aspiration and our attempts that matter. What do we intend to do? How sincerely do we work at it?

One thing I particularly love about New Year's observances is the tradition of committing to New Years "resolutions." Everything I have talked about in this post pertains to my New Year's resolutions for 2021. As usual, it all centers around my spiritual disciplines.

I would love to hear your resolutions for this new year. Take a minute to write me and let me know.

In the meantime, may God bless us all.

Silver Rose

SAINT AILERAN - "SAPIENS THE WISE" - New Year's Resolutions

 

SAINT AILERAN

aka "Aireran", "Ercran" and 

"Sapiens the Wise" or "Aireran an teagnaidh"

{Aireran the Wise}

During the time between Christmas and New Years, my personal tradition is to try to get a jump on my New Years' resolutions, which usually include greater simplicity in the household and in my clothing. This typically will involve giving a lot to the poor - but I have already done that, and the only things left are clothings that, though WAY too big for me, I must keep because I have nothing else until I can make myself a wardrobe.

In the interest of our poor ecology, and with deference to my multiple allergies to chemicals, I try only to use natural fabrics when I make clothes. This means cotton, wool, linen and silk. It is ironic that these natural things are customarily more expensive than artificial fabrics that ruin the environment, but even though linen is more expensive than polyester, making my own clothing from linen is STILL less expensive than buying ready-made clothing. The robes and dresses I make will accommodate future weight loss so I don't have to do this again, and the type of clothing best suited to my needs can't be found among the ready-made options anyway. This year will be a year of tying up loose ends, simplifying, sewing, and preparing for a period of greater attention to my monastic routine

Resolutions for 2021 include pulling myself away from too much attention to political matters. Lord willing, I will finish the first draft of my novel. I will make myself a simple "capsule" wardrobe, including home-knit socks that I have to learn how to make. I would like to lose another 40 pounds. I hope to survive the Covid era. Those are my only real resolutions, though I have many projects in the queue. During social isolation, I will not be bored.

One of my perennial projects is the study of and meditation on some of the saints I find inspiring.  Being a Celtic gal, I am rather partial to the saints with Irish and Scottish links. In today's case, the saint was also a monastic as well as a highly intellectual type and a writer who penned a biography of Saint Patrick, as well as one (each) for Saints Brigid and Finian.

Saint Patrick

(Aileran wrote the 4th life of St. Patrick)

Apparently, Aileron was a highly esteemed scholar at the Abbey of Clonard, having been welcomed to it by Saint Finian himself. The modern "Clonard Monastery" is not the same facility. It is a more modern place, in the center of busy West Belfast in Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom.

                                                                                        Saint Finian of Clonard

Clonard Abbey, where Saints Aileran and Finian resided, used to sit on the River Boyne which is now in the Republic of Ireland, which is an independent country that is not part of the U.K. It is in the County of Meath, and the village of Clonard is very near.

This is a photo of the approximate monastic site of Clonard, courtesy of Andreas F. Borchert.

Site of former Clonard Abbey

In the year 650, Saint Aileran was made Rector of the Abbey, though it is hard to imagine him taking on the extra duties, considering the scholarly works he produced, as well as the fact that he became proficient in Latin and Greek during his time there, and proceeded to translate ancient works in those languages.

A fragment of his Short Moral Explanation of the Sacred Names is extant and is read aloud each year in various European scholarly institutions.

His last work was a treatise on the Genealogy of Christ, According to St. Matthew [An Allegorical Exposition of the Genealogy of Christ.] This was first published by Thomas Sirin, in 1667 under the title Ailerani Scoto-Hibernia, Cognomento Sapientis, Interpretatio Mystica Progenitorum. The explanation of the sacred names, mentioned above, was attached to it. Apparently, these are the only representatives of all his works, the previous mentioned biographies of Saints Finian and Brigid, as well as the other works, having been lost somewhere in time.

The work is detailed in the Lives of Illustrious and Distinguished Irishmen, edited by James Wills. A (free) copy of that work may be found, online, at THIS LINK.

Aileran died of the yellow fever on today's date in the year 665, which is detailed in the Annals of Ulster, under the name of Aileran the Wise.

When I read about the wonderful works that celebrated monastics are able to produce while attending to the daily office and becoming scholars and translators of multiple languages to boot, I sometimes wistfully long for a simpler life, and perhaps a life lived in common, that would allow me to concentrate my energies on intellectual pursuits. Modern life provides so many avenues of distraction that I often wonder if civilization is such a boon to humans, after all.

On the other hand, I feel tremendous gratitude for the inspirational gift of these manifold channels of education that come to me so easily through the internet here at home, and, truth to tell, I am not constitutionally suited to the rigors of the typical monastic life, considering my multifarious infirmities and a creative spirit with which I was born and which forms the basis of whatever "work" I can claim to do. 

When I examine my life with an eye toward making my New Year's Resolutions, it makes me a bit melancholy that I am not able to follow anything but the most modest standards of sanctity, but I am determined to work at remaining humble and satisfied with my limited gifts, and the whole of my life, with its domestic demands and frustrations. I tamp down the unrealized dreams when they arise, and I am indebted to the saints, whose lives I study are a wonderful illustration of holiness to which I aspire.

May we all be inspired by saints like Aileran, the Wise.

.

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

PAY ATTENTION

 

Saint Anthony the Hermit

Part of the advantage of meditating is beneficial side effects. When you learn to concentrate your mind on the divine in meditation, your mind becomes more and more refined. Many people try to remove the religion from this practice - because they want the ancillary skills and benefits that a meditation practice provides but they assume it can be divested of spiritual content. I have found that removing the spiritual aspect truncates those side effects. I can't tell you why.

The effort of concentration is too much for some people. They walk through life on auto pilot. They don't pay attention to communications. They have poor study habits. Their relationships suffer from inattention. 

Jesus Christ - praying in the Garden of Gethsemane

Too many people are not fully present for life.

This morning, I saw a perfect example of this. A woman on Facebook posted her desire to offer one of her kidneys to the medical community for a person who may have need of one because she says her type 0-negative blood is 'rare.' 

I asked her, "would you get mad at me if I tried to talk you out of this?"

She said, "no," with a funny little emoji, so I gave her two reasons why she might not want to give a kidney to a stranger. It was a short exchange, but I checked with her first because I myself do not like unsolicited "advice" and I am very careful not to step on toes in this regard.

The next thing I knew, she has 'blocked' me on Facebook and sent me a hostile message in which it was CLEAR she had not read or comprehended the question. Her final comment? "We are through," she said. The whole thing was bizarre.

When she said "no," for some reason, she thought she had said "no" to comments instead of "no" to whether she would get mad at me. She was not paying attention and I can't talk it out with her and have her re-read the sentence because she blocked me without engaging in any discussion, which is too bad because I rather liked her.

Now, maybe this is all for the best because it does seem more than just a little odd that, after a history of completely benign and pacific exchanges between us, she would fly into a rage like that, so my guess is that there are other things going on with her mentally, that don't have anything to do with today's communication. I will pray for her, and I hope you do also. Perhaps she will re-read the comments in that thread and realize her mistake.

Today is the feast day of Saint Anthony the Hermit. I take a keen interest in the histories of other hermits.  Their stories are typically very sad, with plenty of harsh treatment received at the hands of other people. I feel a kindship with them, for both the mystical consolations AND the miserable circumstances of life.

Saint Anthony, born about 468 in Valeria (now in Hungary) suffered the loss of his father and was given to the Abbot Severinus of Noricum (now in Austria.) When Severinus died, Anthony went to Germany to his uncle Constantius, Bishop of Lorsch. By the time he was 20, he was already a monk and had retreated to an island in Lake Como. As with many hermits, he attracted a group of followers, wanting to become holy. He lived in several solitary places then became a monk at the Abbey of Lerins. He was known for great holiness and some miracles.

It is very interesting to me that most hermits have similar histories, in that they do not remain strictly alone. It is the strength of their belief in their connection with the Lord that keeps them on the solitary path. THEIR attention isn't diverted - and it this grip they maintain on the grace of the Lord that attracts others to follow them.

Modern life exerts pressures on modern hermits that didn't exist in bygone eras. I am finally starting to compose my Christmas cards. They are "late" in the sense that it is after December 25th, but that day is just the first day of the 12 days of Christmas, and I personally love to celebrate as long as I possibly can. Would Saint Anthony the hermit send Christmas cards if he was living today? Would he have a cupboard full of dishes and teapots and things with which to feed others? I often wonder.

Tomorrow I have to upload bank statements to the Medicaid people for the special program that helps disabled people like me. I am not very good with technology, and the time that will be eaten up in this process will eat into my spiritual disciplines. Would Saint Anthony eschew the help they offer? I wonder.

I remember when I first left the Vedanta Convent and two of the nuns came to visit me in my new apartment where I lived on a carpeted floor with no furniture. In the living room, there was only 4 large pillows and 2 folding lap trays. I had no furniture and sat on the floor for everything. One of them, an Australian woman with English airs, put her plate on the carpeted floor. I moved it to the little folding tray, as I didn't want her to have to eat off the floor where people's feet had trod.

"Oh, so you're house proud," she said.  Although the rest of them lived in an actual mansion with plenty of furniture, I was house proud because I moved a plate from the floor. This woman wasn't paying attention either, which is a shame because she had all the benefits of a life geared entirely for it.

Keeping a simple life accommodates so very many different styles, doesn't it? If you are disabled, living in constant chronic pain, as I am, ascetic practices are "built in," so to speak. It is the pain that becomes the spiritual currency that we offer to God, when we are no longer able to live on the floor.

There are many people who, at what the Swami would call "the fag end of life," have only pain to offer the Lord in reparation. Eventually, I should write up my rule of life, and it will be for people like me - disabled folk who suffer much and struggle to turn the lemons of bodily injury into the lemonade of spiritual exaltation.

In the meantime, I am getting out the Christmas cards and struggling to upload documents with tiny little print I can barely read so that I can get the medical care I need without having to stop eating in order to do it. Then there is the 'simplification' project in which I make some matching robes and eliminate unnecessaries to reduce the obligation of choices - and the amount of daily laundry! When you stay in one place for 16 years, things tend to pile up which is, perhaps, the reason why Saint Anthony moved about so very many times.

Moving is no longer possible for me, however. Everyone's body gives out, in the end.

Another neighbor has died - this time, the man who lived on the second floor above me. Just a few days ago, I opened my door just as the attendants were putting his body into a long, low and very black unmarked station wagon of sorts. As they slid the gurney in, and the legs snapped into place, his feet, which had been wrapped with a white sheet, jiggled in a way that told me his spirit had left his body. I had JUST been thinking about getting his Christmas card into the mail. I wonder if people realize how many elderly people end up dying alone in their apartments? I have seen many of them in the 16 years I have lived here. 

Good night, everyone. Tomorrow is another day.

God bless us all

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

SIMPLIFY FOR LENT

The Resurrection of Christ

by

Pietro Perugino

The season of Lent presents us with a perfect opportunity to examine our lives and do a course correction in whatever way is needed. There ARE specific rules about fasting and abstinence from meat during Lent for Latin Catholics, of course, but this is a bare minimum requirement that establishes a foundation for a more comprehensive program, in a well developed spiritual life.

"On the Fridays of Lent, we remember the sacrifice of Christ...

and unite ourselves with that sacrifice through

abstinence and prayer."

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

We have all heard about the fasting and abstinence required of Latin Catholics in the 48 days or so that lead up to Easter. There are limits to its usefulness for the sick, the elderly and the poor, for various reasons, which I'll enumerate below, but first I would like to talk about keeping the spirit of the Lenten season.

Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemene

When you live as a solitary, accidental or otherwise, the ways in which one is NOT wholly in tune with God on a regular basis is fairly obvious to the intellect of those who are honest with themselves.

All I have to do is look around my apartment to see what is standing in the way of a more robust prayer life, and a more continual meditative mood. I have too much stuff, and I bet you do too! When you have STUFF, you have to maintain it, clean it and store it. Occasionally, you use it, but do you use everything that you have?

Every few years, I really need to do a major overhaul when I find myself moving STUFF from one spot to another and obsessing over storage needs. I have developed a program of simplification to address it.

The process is (1) eliminate (2) organize/store; and (3) Allot the extra time you've saved to prayer and meditation time.

Jesus knocking at the door of your heart

Areas of clutterbug infestation include:

Clothing and shoes
Somehow, I accumulated a lot of clothes. Now, almost none of them fit because I've lost quite a bit of weight. Boxing them up and giving them away is a blessed relief. I am going to return to wearing a monastic uniform, of sorts - not an obvious habit, mind you, but I will simply return to wearing only the gerua color peculiar to the vows I took many years ago that set me on the path of devotion to God alone. (Gerua is a range of peach to orange or orange-brown that Hindu and Buddhist swamis wear and which was worn by Father Bede Griffiths after he established his Catholic ashram in India.)

I have created a pattern for a long dress that I like to wear, and I will get some fabric and make a few for myself.

Me - on the day I took my religious vows

Many years ago and many pounds ago!

What happens when you limit the number of colors that you wear is that, first of all, matching your tops and skirts becomes easy. Fewer clothes are needed. All you have to do is figure out how many changes of clothing you need between wash days, and get rid of the extra stuff.

If you can't bear the idea of just wearing one color, pick 2 or 3 colors that appeal to you and do not keep anything that is not in that color range. The colors you choose should be complementary with one another, so that you can mix and match, if you so choose. You won't waste time trying to find a blouse that matches the skirt you want to wear that day because all your clothes "go" with one another.

A current picture

After getting rid of the excess clothes and shoes, I would cast an eye over the rest of the laundry and see if there is anything you are not using. How many sets of bedding do you have? Do you have extra towels you never use? Is there a pile of laundry in the hamper or on the floor that has been there for more than a month? If the answer is "yes," then you don't really need anything that is in that pile. Give it or throw it away.

Jewelry
You can only wear so many pieces of jewelry at one time. Keep the family heirlooms (or pass them on to your progeny NOW, if they're old enough), pick a few things you wear all the time. Give away what has no resale value, then take your silver and your gold to a local company that buys and sells precious metals by weight. You can find them in the yellow pages. Whatever they give you goes into the donation box or your parish envelope (in addition to what you customarily give.) Giving alms is another valuable Lenten tradition.

Jesus feeding the 5,000

Gifts
Things that others have given me sometimes clutter the house. I have felt obligated to keep them, out of loyalty to my generous friends but, on the other hand, if I am not using them and they are just occupying space and gathering dust, isn't there another person who may have need of these items? Several mugs are going into a box with some other housewares. Do you have a lot of knick knacks you've kept for sentimental reasons? Perhaps someone else in the family would like to store them for you? If the rest of your family won't scream, you could even donate them to the Salvation Army or a similar group, as I am doing.

Housewares
Take a look through your supply of china and housewares that are meant for use with visitors. How many visitors do you typically entertain? How often? How many sets of dishes do you really need? Keep what you like and use. Donate the rest. Do you ever use that waffle iron? What about the griddle? The bread maker? Be realistic about what you will use and what will continue to gather dust.

Mental Baggage
As usual, I have "buried the lead." Getting rid of mental baggage may be the most important Lenten practice that I do. I renew my vows of forgiveness to all those who have hurt me. Mind you, when I do that, it is considerable. I have been violated in every way imaginable during my life. Relatives have stolen from me, lied about me and abused me. A husband has abused and tortured and tried to kill me. Even nuns in the Hindu convent spread mean, untrue stories about me. Worst of all, I was gang raped at 14. I have experienced a lot. It is no wonder that forgiveness is an ongoing process that I have to decide to do every day.

Jesus crucified

When you are cleaning house and eliminating things you do not need, things that are occupying your mind when it could better be spent praying and meditating, remember to put down the heavy burdens of resentment and grudges because holding a grudge is like "drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die."

Jesus endured far worse, yet he forgave all.

Try to see all the sins committed against you as an education that enables you to put yourself in the shoes of other sufferers and to feel the most compassion a human can feel. The greater the assaults against you, the kinder a person you have the chance to become. Don't waste the opportunity!

After you have completed the elimination of all unnecessary items in your mental space and your personal living space, it is time to address the subject of storage.

Storage
Throwing a pile of junk into a box and sticking it in the garage does not qualify as proper "storage" because it is unusable. It will simply sit there, waiting for you to handle it the next time Lent rolls around. You haven't simplified your life when you do this. You've just hidden the evidence of chaos.

This part of the process may cost you money or some physical effort, or both. Modern people do have to keep some things. At the very end of the process of elimination, you should be left with considerably less STUFF than that with which you started. Now, it needs to be stored in a manner in which it is able to be used.

I have a particular problem with filing papers. I never get around to it. If you are like me, I recommend having your bills converted into electronic copies that get stored in the internet cloud somewhere. You can't do that with valuable documents, of course. You'll need to save actual car titles, receipts and warranties and things of that nature. In fact, you may have to copy them to the cloud, but whatever bills can be converted to an electronic format, I recommend you do that.

Every person's STUFF is peculiarly their own, and I can't really say what will work for you. Because I am disabled and mobility challenged, I do not get out very often to do any shopping, but I have great luck on Amazon, which delivers even furniture. If you pay careful attention to the reviews for each item, you probably won't have to return very many things, if any at all. You can look up "office furniture" or "storage." It even accommodates an individual sense of style. Look up "shabby chic" or "French Provincial," and you'll see what I mean.

"A place for everything, and everything in its place" is a cliche for a reason. It WORKS.

Once you have finished the simplification process, and everything is in its place, you'll find yourself with a lot more time on your hands because you won't be juggling STUFF to the degree you were before. Not only that, but the tidiness of your living space may also inspire you and have an edifying affect on your mood! Lenten prayers and meditation may be more fruitful.

Christ's descent into Hades

At the same time that you are working on the simplification program, Latin Catholics have obligations to fulfill with regard to abstinence and fasting.


Here are the basic rules:

(1) Abstinence is the refraining of eating meat of any kind, except for fish. It is required of everyone of any age on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and every Friday during Lent.

(2) Fasting is required for Latin Catholics between the ages of 18 and 59 on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. During the fast:

"a person is permitted to eat one full meal, as well as two

smaller meals that together are not equal to a full meal."

~ United States Conference of Catholic Bishops ~

[Read about the Lenten fast in detail HERE]

(3) Sundays, since they are days of celebration and feasting, are not included in Lenten acetic practices, but individuals may choose to include those days, if they wish.

Exceptions are made for illness

The Church appears to presume a middle class existence when it makes some rules, which is odd, because there are more than 40 million poor people in our country today. Poor people are often not in control of the type of food that is available to them on any given day, and their lives are a continual exercise of privation when it comes to food. Abstaining from meat, since it is a very expensive dietary component, is often something one is forced to do all the time, unless one is willing to eat the dreadful meat mockeries that are sold through various drive-through restaurants.

"Substituting" meat with fish is also nonsensical for some, since it is considered even more luxurious than meat and is more expensive, even in the drive-through restaurants. You can get a small hamburger for as little as a dollar, but fish sandwiches are rarely as inexpensive as that. Habitual poverty turns these fasting rules upside down.

Trout

by Silver S. Parnell

Many of us, in addition, are continually dieting as a means of weight control. Ever since I was a child, I have had a terrible time keeping my weight down. Seemingly, when I am not looking, it balloons up and I have to take hold of the situation and push the pounds back down the scale.  I have managed to take off about half of my excess weight over the years. This continual diet constitutes a perennial fast, and it makes no sense to pretend that abstinence and fasting are a special, added penance.

Poor people eating at a shelter

I am poor because I am chronically ill and unable to work, so my lack of participation is officially excused, but I hope the other 40 million poor people realize that The Church is compassionate and won't fault them for being unable to follow Lenten prescriptions to the letter.

If you are able to adhere to the letter AND the spirit of the law, I say, "do it!" If not, just remember that the point of Lent is to participate in the sacrifice of Christ through some variety of penances during the time leading up to Easter, when our Lord rose from the grave in glory.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose Parnell
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