SAINT ROMUALD - JUNE 19

 

Saint Romuald

951-1027

Canonized in 1582

Pray to him for reformation of the church and for monastic life

"Sit in your cell as in paradise. Put the whole

world behind you and forget it."

St. Romuald

Today, one of the saints we observe is especially remembered for reformation of The Church and for monastic life, in general, so I recommend this to my small group of hermits in my Facebook hermit group and for other hermits unaffiliated with us.

Just like most Americans of the middle classes and above, Saint Romuald spent his early years in pursuit of pleasures in the tenth century, unconcerned with his spiritual life or weightier matters. Then one day he saw something that horrified him and opened his eyes. He saw his father kill a relative in a duel over a disputed piece of land.

The story that comes down to us is that, after witnessing this bloody duel to the death, he initially meant to spend 40 days at a local monastery, in reparation for the sins of his father and his family. But somehow he never went home again. Something within him was profoundly altered. (Dear God, may we all be so altered!)

At the same time that the temperamentally impatient and newly convicted monk entered the monastery, reforms were well under way. He was not well liked because of his criticisms of the more lax monks, and I am guessing they were relieved when he was given permission to become a hermit in Venice - something that appealed to everyone, each for their own reasons!

This is where any similarity between me and today's saint ends. I tend to be more understanding how  difficult it is to maintain an ascetic life in our modern times, especially now that I am disabled and in pain all the time. I have thought for a long time that my body is forcing me to endure asceticism that is not natural to my temperament and probably the only way that I would ever willingly endure suffering! After all, I MUST accept the pain over which I have little control, so it is best to welcome it and use it for my salvation and in reparation of my own sins and the sins of others.

But St. Romuald grasped the acetic life without force, and after 20 years as a hermit, he was called out into the world to found more monasteries. It was not always easy. Just because Holy Roman Emperor Otto established him as the abbot of the first monastery he endowed in his kingdom does not mean that it was successful!  The monks were not having any of it, as they were too established in their comforts, and I don't know if they kicked him out or if he simply gave up on them, but within a year, he was gone.

There are many different types of monastic life in the Catholic Church, and the version that Romuald left us is rather appealing. A group of contemplative monks would live together in silence, peace and grace, sharing work, meals, mass, and prayer schedules, but in the spirit of deep silence and contemplation. Each had their own cell and lived in a sort of cooperative hermitage.

Romuald left 7 practices for his monks. Each hermit must:

    Love his cell,

    Be detached,

    Be self-observant,

    Diligently pray the Psalms,

    Maintain ultimate reverence before God,

    Practice strict asceticism, and;

    Grow more childlike in accepting grace when given.

Personally, it sounds like a tall order for people who must also live together and cooperate with one another in the running of the monastery.

This arrangement grew into the tradition of the Camaldolese monks. 

The calling of a hermit, though a relatively rare state, is crucial to the health of The Church, in that it supports The Catholic Faith in a deeply contemplative way while, at the same time, is a cenobitic, or group living, situation, where monks adhere to a life in common. The Camaldolese share this life in common with other monastics called to a solitary spiritual practice. An interesting combination.

Many older Catholics may find themselves living alone in their later years, for various reasons, but to live for God alone and transform that single life into somewhat of a hermit existence isn't easy. One needs some of the grit that St. Romuald appeared to have, and it doesn't hurt if we also have the intense conversion experience of our own, as he did.

But it is not required that we be accepted into an official INSTITUTION such as a Camaldolese monastery. Besides which, most monastic institutions only accept young folks.  What I am talking about is kicking it up a notch in the spiritual discipline department and taking one's later years SERIOUSLY in relation to our relationship with The Lord and with our own spiritual life.

No matter how we live our later years, whether as a strict hermit or a lesser and more modest version of it, let us all pray that, as we age, we grow into the unique, particular vocation that God desires for each one of us. Let us pray for one another, that we grow stronger in our commitments and practices, despite the vagaries of old age, just as St. Romuald did.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

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Saint Ælfflæd of Whitby - February 8th - My 20-year Anniversary as a Hermit

 

The ruins of Whitby Abbey

Seen above the town, in modern times

My 20-year anniversary

Twenty years ago, on about February 3rd, I finally became so disabled by my various injuries and illnesses that I could no longer hold down a job, and I had to retire early on my Social Security retirement insurance into which I had paid for more than 30 years. At that time, I decided that I would dedicate the remainder of my life to God alone, and three years later I entered the Catholic Church, by which time I had decided to offer my pains and sufferings for the benefit of The Church, with the intention of supporting the reunion and re-integration of the Catholic Church with the Orthodox that had split from it in 1054.

Practicing the Presence of God

In the following 17 years, while wrestling with these illnesses and defects, I read as much as I could about the examples of the saints and, to the best of my ability, I keep my mind "at the feet of The Lord," practicing the presence of God in all of my mundane doings. In every moment, I make an effort to keep my mind attuned to The Lord. He keeps me company in all of my hours, and I maintain awareness of his presence in an intimate communion with Him. Whatever I am doing, I am conscious that He is accompanying me in all of it in a quiet embrace. He is both within me and around me. When keeping touch with Him in this manner becomes difficult, I speak to Him interiorly and/or out loud and ask for his help in short sentences, such as "Lord save me!" or "Lord help me!"  It doesn't take much to get my mind back on track.

The Offering of Pain

Because of the chronic pain throughout all the bones in my body, my acetic practices do not have to be artificially created. Old-time contemplatives had the habit of denying themselves food or causing themselves some other type of pain, such as with the infamous hair shirts of the middle-ages, but I have plenty of pain to spare that my body introduces on its own, without bidding from me. While the physical pains prohibit the use of customary forms of acetic practices, they are, actually, a replacement for them. Over the years, I have gradually come to realize that my disabilities are my blessings. They both bring me closer to the Lord and act as a type of spiritual currency to offer up in reparation of the sins of the world and especially the sins of those who create division, such as the division between the Roman Catholic and the Orthodox churches.

What is Most Important

I do not pretend to have anything resembling a proper monastic schedule, due to the inability to gain cooperation of my body. Indeed, for this reason, someone like me would be a burden to any institution, which is the main reason I remain at home. But if I have learned anything in the last 20 years, it is this: What is most important is the condition of the mind and the topics on which I allow it to dwell.

Although I also suffer from a persistent type of insomnia that refuses to be tamed, this condition forces me to accept the mantle of humility. After 20 years, I simply cannot bring my schedule into line with what I consider a proper monastic schedule.  I have substituted the practice of the presence of God in every moment, even though I often wish I was not forced to do it this way, however I try to be grateful instead of focusing on the downside. It is a challenge, and I often struggle to keep the mind "on the high road," but this battle also has its benefits.

Spiritual ambition

I have noticed some chatter on social media with regard to those of us who live as monastics at home, and it has become clear to me that there is a lot of confusion around what would be considered the basics of this life that are not negotiable. Celibacy is probably the one crucial observance that everyone living as I do must absolutely follow. I have learned that every major religion which has a monastic tradition requires the same thing. Our deepest affections and attentions belong to The Lord alone.

There are some characters who advertise themselves as "anchoresses" or hermits of some sort who are married and live with husbands and children and enjoy the typical comings and goings of relatives. They are devout and fervent householders, which is a noble path, but it is not monasticism.  Due to rabid clericalism, some women discount themselves and the holy vocation of wife and mother for some idea of a quasi-monastic vocation that they mistakenly believe is somehow superior to their own.  It is not. What comes out of this confused idea is a jumbled chaotic spiritual life that manifests in an inauthentic presentation to the world. They have an emotional need for validation and their attention is not on Christ.

It is a wonderful ambition to desire to become a saint, but it is a different sort of thing to have an ambition to be REGARDED as a saint by other people. I see a lot of this on social media when I have made the mistake of joining supposedly "Catholic" groups started by women who have not had enough validation in their lives and who immediately begin to slather new members with sickeningly sweet appellations, such as "my dear child," followed up by unasked-for spiritual direction and other nonsense. The craven need to be followed and admired is sadly obvious.

The vocation of an independent hermit IS a peculiar one to begin with and, for all I know, we have to be at least a little bit "odd" to embark on it, but most of us have had an attraction for monastic life since we were children. I, for one, discovered the Carmelites when I was 11 and carried out an intense correspondence with them, much to the ire of my mother who was not at all religious and who absolutely hated Catholics! She soon put an end to my correspondence with them, but the desire for the contemplative monastic life never left me. I experimented with it in various forms, from "New Age" religions to Buddhism to Hinduism, and eventually the Catholic Faith, where I happily remain.

When you live as an urban hermit:

Living in the world but not OF the world is in many ways much more difficult than being part of a monastic institution. In a convent or monastery, one is propelled forward by the rules and watchful eyes of your sisters and superiors. Everything in your environment is geared toward the spiritual goal, and it is placed in front of your eyes and in your ears every moment of every day. Unless you go out shopping or to the doctor, it is a rarified atmosphere.

But as an independent hermit in one's own home, it is all up to you. Other than what is forced on you by society or your landlord or your physical disabilities, every decision is ultimately yours to make. Your schedule, food, rising and sleeping, prayers and observances - It is all on you. You can't just surrender to the institution. You ARE the institution.

While the Catholic Church is FULL of monastic institutions of various orders, Catholic history is rife with independent monastics who either remained at home to practice their spiritual disciplines or they went out into the wilderness to find solitude.

Our history includes hermits that eventually attracted a following around them and drew other hermits into their orbit, which was the beginning of a cenobitic lifestyle, but this is less common today due to the complex organization required, as well as financial practicalities that make it very difficult to arrange.

I try to research a saint on each day, and am helped a great deal by the Catholic.org website that publishes the names and some of the life stories of all the saints who share the calendar day as their feast day, and it is rare not to find at least ONE saint who lived as a hermit. Often, there are several.

As an independent monastic, however, we have to be careful not to put ourselves forward as some sort of official personality. While I am Catholic and I am a hermit, I try to avoid claiming to be a "Catholic hermit" for the specific reason that I want to avoid the pretense that I am somehow affiliated with the official institution of The Catholic Church.  There is a provision in the catechism for something called a "Diocesan Hermit," and I do not know what sort of bona fides one needs to have for this particular title because every time I have called the bishop's office about it, I get crickets in response. After half a dozen phone calls and brief discussions with functionaries whose job it was to coordinate this activity, I gave up. 

My impression is that, unless they already know you, you are out of luck - probably due to the inordinate number of "kooks" (as one priest described them to me.) Several "cradle Catholics" have suggested to me that if I was wealthy, the Bishop would be calling ME. I don't have trouble believing that, but in any case it is irrelevant. Considering the ever-worsening condition of my health, I probably have little to offer them anyway.  I had been attracted to the idea of possibly having the Eucharist preserved on my prayer shrine and this is the one benefit of taking Diocesan Hermit vows that keeps luring me toward it. I do not have the opportunity to regard our Lord in the host under any other circumstance, as I am rarely able to attend church, due to disabilities and lack of transportation.

Saint Ælfflæd Of Whitby, my cousin

The saint I have chosen for today is a cousin of mine: Saint Ælfflæd Of Whitby. We are each descended from a long line of saints, mostly along the female lines.  The ancestor that she and I share most closely is Clotair I, a Merovingian King of the 5th Century, whose mother was Saint Clothilde, Queen of the Franks (the French, essentially.) 

Saint Clothilde

Queen of the Franks

My 42nd Great Grandmother

4th Great Grandmother of St. Ælfflæd 

Clotair and his wife Waldrada were my 41st great grandparents. Their family line is jam packed with saints, mostly female, but some male as well.

Saint Hilda of Whitby

Not only was my cousin well connected, spiritually, but she was also a member of royalty and her line is lousy with kings and queens. This is where it becomes obvious that our destiny is often hinted at within our family circumstances because, while I was enabled to become a hermit by virtue of disability that prevented me from working, Ælfflæd  was destined by another type of circumstance.  When she was barely a year old, she was given to Saint Hilda to raise in a convent at Hartlepool. When Hilda left Hartlepool to establish the Abbey of Whitby, on land given The Church for that purpose by Ælfflæd's father, King Oswiu, she took Ælfflæd with her. Ælfflæd was still a toddler at this time.

Picture of King Oswiu

King Oswiu is credited with convening the Synod of Whitby, out of which came the decision to adopt Roman Catholic ways rather than Celtic. I have found reference to him as a saint as well, but I have to verify that.

From her infancy, you can see that my cousin was trained in the way of the monastic saints. She was also highly influential in government.  Stephen of Ripon described her thus:

"...always the comforter and the best counselor 
of the whole kingdom."

~ Stephen of Ripon
Author of The Life of St. Wilfred

In fact, there is so much really fascinating information about the life and influence of today's saint, that it inspires me to read further and, rather than wait to publish this blog post and use information that would, essentially, reinvent the wheel, so to speak, I will just post a few really good links at the bottom of this post and let you choose whether or not you also have interest in Aelfflaed.  

Advice to parents:

Many times, I have heard parents say that they will let their children decide what religion to follow when they're grown up. I just wanted to point out that whether one becomes a monastic or a lay person is often determined by circumstances of family and education, and there is a bit of a whiff of destiny in the whole thing.  I do not believe in strict "destiny" per se, but experiences, environment and education do substantially mold or prepare a person for adult life. This is why I have come to believe that raising your children in the faith is important. 

I'm not saying that one should give one's child to the church to be raised as a nun from babyhood, such as what Aelfladd had done to her, but I am just pointing out that it is better to get an early start on religious education. Everything in Aelfflad's family and life circumstances were channeling her to the path of sainthood and she accomplished great things. (Read about it through the links, below.)

I did happen to eventually come to The Faith on my own, despite efforts on the part of others to keep me out, but it took a lot of time to get to that place. In the end, the options that remained were few. You don't want your child to experience unnecessary limitations. Fortunately, convents do accept applicants at older ages than they used to.  Formerly, you had to be no older than 25!  It isn't that way any more, thanks be to God. At least that is one limitation that is less daunting in this age.

Regardless of whatever limitations or difficulties I may have endured, I find myself feeling very grateful that I am not so sick that I cannot pray or that my pain is not worse.  I am grateful to have adequate medical care and a decent place to live with a wonderful view of the Sandia mountains that turn pink at sunset. I am grateful that The Lord does not abandon me in my golden years and that he has left me with at least ONE eye with which to read His Holy Word.

Often, there is not enough money for a proper healthy diet, or to repair the ancient chariot I need to get me around, or to take the service dog to the vet, and I am most grateful for any and all charitable donations given for those things. There is a "donate" button below my picture (above right) and any amount is most appreciated. I will also get an updated Amazon wish list done up very soon. I do get tired of asking for help, as you probably also grow tired of being asked, but I must endure the humiliation as I have no choice in it.

That's all I have for you today. Please pray for me during the month-long celebration of my 20-year anniversary, and I will pray for you, as always. Look for the list of interesting links about Saint Aelfflaed, below.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

Links to Saint Ælfflæd of Whitby:

"Saints' Bridge" blog (very well researched)

Catholic.org post about her

Wikipedia page about Aelfflaed of Whitby

SAINT WILFRETRUDIS, NOVEMBER 23

 

St. Gertrude of Nivelles

Aunt of today's saint

I usually present the dilemma of the day to the saint of the day to get some clarity on what I might do or how I might behave, if that saint were here to talk to me. That's a problem for today's saint, because almost nothing is known about her except that she is the niece of Saint Gertrude of Nivelles and was the Abbess of the monastery at Nivelles. Both of these saints are cousins of mine. Obviously, there are a lot of generations that separate us because Wilfretrudis died sometime in the 6th century. She is my first cousin, 29 times removed.  Her aunt is MY great grandaunt, about 30 times removed.

Let me tell you what happened today, and we'll get back to the saints.

Saint Begga of Landen,

also related to Saint Wilfretrudis

First of all, I got several pieces of bad news about financial things, then after a frustrating day, at about 6 in the evening, just about sunset, I went out to pull my car into my garage. Every day is a dance of pulling my 30 year-old car out of the garage so I can bring out my mobility scooter and use it when I "walk" the dog, and then put the car back IN at night so that it won't be broken into. (This neighborhood is RIFE with thieves who will break your windows just to steal some coins they think they MIGHT find on the floor boards. My car has been broken into many times since I moved in here, and the last time was a riot. They stole EVERYTHING, even a bag of trash. Poor Mr. Charlemagne lost his little doggie booster seat and seat belt.)

I was unhappy to find a car parked next to mine, blocking me from moving mine into my garage. I stood out there, honking the horn, on and off, for about ten minutes. I have no idea whose car it is. They have ignored TWO signs on the building that say "NO PARKING" AND the cross-hatching across which she parked AND the painted sign on the ground that said "NO PARKING" and "RESERVED" for my apartment number. She also, apparently, did not see the garage. I call this CONVENIENCE BLINDNESS. Self-centered people just do what suits them, even though they know they are co-opting someone else's space. They take what they want, without a thought to others.

To THEM, it is no big deal. How could it POSSIBLY be a big deal when I have something they want and it is convenient for them?

Nivelles Abbey

Where Wilfretrudis was Abbess

from 659 to 669

In my case, for instance, all of the bones in my hips, knees and feet were killing me. It certainly isn't convenient for me when I have to stand around in the freezing weather, with my bones screaming at me. I needed to put the car to bed so I could walk the dog and put myself to bed. I have yet to meet an interloper that would care about any of that. The neighbors know I am disabled. They see me on my disability scooter all the time, but they don't have sympathy. They let their visitors block my garage and don't tell them where to park. They apparently don't ASK their visitors where they did end up parking or, if they did ask them, they do not make them move. Nor did they bother to leave a note or send someone downstairs to knock on my door and tell me what was going on. For them it is no big deal because for them it is no big deal.

I had no way of knowing which of the 75 apartments was responsible for blocking my garage and, even if I did, I could not climb the stairs to the second or third floor to chase up the interloper.

Saint Itta of Metz

Grandmother of Saint Wilfretrudix

and

MY 29th Great Grandmother

This apartment complex has very little visitor parking and, in the past, I have made arrangements with another neighbor for her regular visitor to park next to me during times when I don't have to move my car. We worked it out together. But mostly, people just squeeze in and I have to get them to move so I can function.

The woman who finally came out of my neighbor's apartment was polite at first, but she gave the same excuse that others have done, i.e., "I was only going to be a couple minutes," which was not true. My body was hurting more and more. All daylight had disappeared, and it was getting harder to see with my one good eye.

At this point, I can feel myself getting irritated and anxious. I never want to lose my temper. It isn't what one does when one is determined to be a good Christian and a kind person. But my body and the weather are acting against me - so there begins an inner tension. I have to hold myself back. I was able to remain low-key, but I'm sure my tension was obvious.

Finally, when she came to move the car and I went inside the garage to get the mobility scooter  moved into the right spot, I heard this woman yelling at me in an indignant tone, saying, "do you even need to get out of the garage?" She wanted to know if I was making her move "for nothing," you see. This always happens, if I don't move fast enough for the interloper and they haven't figured out what I am DOING, for Heaven's sake! I have also heard some version of "do you NEED to use the garage?" They want me to justify my request that they remove their vehicle from my premises. They demand I answer to them about my schedule, which is not something I would ever be comfortable having to do because these people are strangers to me and they are already invading my space with an air of entitlement. What next?

Blessed Pepin I of Landen & Wife Saint Itta

Saint Wilfretrudis' grandparents

My 39th great grandparents

I did not answer her, but said instead, "what are you asking me?" and she huffed off, got into her car, and left. Fighting off frustration and sadness, I finished what I had to do, then moved my car into the garage. If she had not moved, I could not have done it. 

Of course, I have friends and well-wishers who live here, but there are some very aggressive and demanding people here. Every day when I get in and out of my car, I have to see the car of the woman upstairs. Across the window, it says in HUGE letters, "F - - K THE POPULATION." (spelled out completely.)

Some of these people on the low-income program see a disabled senior, and, instead of being helpful and sympathetic, they seem to begin calculating how they might take something from me or torment me somehow. There are even a couple of ex-residents who no longer live here but who follow this blog so they can report to others who still live here if they think I am writing about a known person. (I know who you are, by the way.) This is detrimental to my psychological disposition. It is hard to believe that people like this exist outside some film noir drama, and I had no experience with this sort of thing until I became disabled and my income dropped down to poverty level.

I can't commune with my cousin, Saint Wilfretrudis about how SHE would handle this because the monastic institution and circumstances protect those nuns. Most nuns do not have to own a car individually. The convent will usually have one or two, and none of the nuns have to think about how to pay the car insurance bill or the repair bills. It is an organizational thing, and it is someone's JOB to do that. lt is easier to live with poverty when it is lived together. Their entire life is engineered to support the spiritual aspect. They are not faced with hostile neighbors who disrupt the peace and quiet. Not typically, anyway.

We can't forget that Saint Wilfretrudis had a very strong family behind her. Her grandfather was Blessed Pepin I (The Elder) of Landen and her grandmother was Saint Itta of Metz. These two were my 39th great grandparents, and I only wish I had them more concretely on hand to help me with some things.

I DO have the constant companionship of the Lord however, and, although He is not in the habit of just stepping in and FIXING everything for Me, He stays with me through all of it and I pray that he gives me the inner urgings to guide me in the way he wants me to go.

Blessed Pepin I of Landen

and wife Saint Itta

My 39th great grandparents

and Saint Wilfretrudis' grandparents

Having lived as a nun in the Hindu convent, which was modeled after a Benedictine convent, I know how monastic life is supposed to look, how it is organized, how peaceful it is. This is not it.

Always attracted to contemplative life, I had hoped to be able to create it here, but it is not possible. Too much noise. Too many people. And it takes me f.o.r.e.v.e.r to do just about everything. Between the physical inability and the loss of my depth perception due to the blindness in my left eye, I have to be very careful about how I move, otherwise I am banging around and dropping things right and left.

Not only is this environment hostile to spiritual disciplines and simple prayer life, but since my son died I have no close family. At least Saint Wilfretrudis had her association with a family that was rife with saints. Not mine. I am the only Catholic in my family, that I know of, and I have no one close.

I just want to be clear that I am not weeping about this, mind you. I am not sitting here and typing this through tears or what not. I have never had close family - not really. I was terribly abused as a child and could not WAIT to leave home shortly after I turned 17. I've gotten used to being my own company, and after years of placing my mind at the feet of God, I have come to the point where I always feel his presence. People ARE made for one another, but there are the rare exceptions, and I suppose I am one of those. At least, God is accompanying me on my journey because He sees that my mind is with Him.

There is also a wonderful line from a Psalm that I love, Psalm 27:10..."For my Father and my Mother have left me; but the Lord hath taken me up."

When I was a little girl, one of my relatives gave me a book about the Bible, meant for children. I don't know how they got away with doing that because my parents were anti-religion, as was my grandmother. But I was always keen to find out about God, and so He has been with me since I was a little girl. I am not impervious to the disappointments of life, by any means, but I have faith in God.

For the 20 years since I first retired, I have been battling the worldliness I am forced to accommodate because I have no support for my spiritual life. If I was not physically disabled, it would be a lot easier. I would not have to live so close to non-monastics or, if I did, there would be boundaries established by the institution. In order to get my most basic needs met, I cannot just give my space to others and let them overrun me. It is a fine balance. I have to get my needs met without destroying anyone's peace - including my own.

Simpler days, when I was in

the Hindu convent

For some time now, I have been disappointed in how I have managed to create a monastic contemplative space. When I decided, 20 years ago, to return to living as a monastic, I had this vision of how I would transform my living situation into a peaceful, inspiring palace of meditation, but I realized tonight that I have been asking too much of myself. My heart was in the right place, but I am disabled, I live VERY close to other people, and there is only so much I can do.  

If it takes more time than I really have to take care of my physical needs, how can I possibly devote myself properly to long schedules of prayers? I just CAN'T. The contemplative model is only possible in a limited way, unless I were to be able to move elsewhere. So far, my efforts to bring in more income and thereby pay for more appropriate living quarters and some paid help have proved to be failures.

Amethyst Celtic rosary I made with

St. Margaret of Scotland center piece

and tree of life "our father" beads

My whole life I have had artistic side "gigs." I've sold paintings and sketches, jewelry and pottery, writing of all kinds, and many different creative products, but it is much more difficult at this time. I used to be unique - at least my friends and I believed I was. But since YouTube has so many excellent free videos on how to do just about everything, the market is glutted with ladies who make earrings or fingerless mittens or w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r.

I can't really live as an old-style hermit. Their lives were (and are) much more ascetic than I am able to be. Asceticism was never my strong suit anyway - because I have never been terribly physically fit. 

My life DOES revolve around the Lord, but it isn't supported by a monastic institution and it is unreasonable for me to expect my life to look like Saint Gertrude's or Saint Wilfretrudis's would look today. But I sometimes have to remind myself that a lot of these saints led "normal" lives before retiring to the convent. But I don't remember reading of any of them being physically disabled.

The pressures of householder life, especially when lived under the pall of multiple disabilities, in close proximity with hostile, non-religious folk cannot look like my favorites monastic saint's lives. Everything is an "inside job", without any external support. 

The only solution, I think, is to rely upon the Practice of the Presence of God. I'll have to speak more about that spiritual discipline later, but I will just say that it is a wonderful practice that helps keep me centered, and I believe I may need to practice it even more in the immediate future.

Hermit in the garden

by Hubert Robert

1708 - 1803

I think also that it may be more practical to find inspiration with my ancestor saints such as Saint Margaret of Scotland, who was both a queen (a VERY busy life) AND a saint. She found a way to become a saint in the midst of what could have been an extremely worldly life. I will have to meditate on a different vision of how to live this life devoted to God. Contemplative life cannot happen in noise and chaos, I don't think.

Dear Saint Wilfretrudis, my great grandmother Saint Margaret of Scotland, and all my other family of saints in Heaven, please intercede for me at the throne of God and help me find my way in this harsh landscape.

Saint Margaret of Scotland

my 29th great grandmother

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

Saint Anthelm and Our Lady of Perpetual Help - June 26, 27 - 2022

 

Our Lady of Perpetual Help

I love the name of Monday's Marian observance - Our Lady of Perpetual Help. The idea that she is perpetual - not limited in time or space - available at any time of day. She is there, waiting for us - ready to help us. What a wonderful concept!

Our Lady who is always open to us, who is giving us her "yes" just as she gave her "yes" to God, is a wonderful counterpoint to the terrible political turmoil that is happening right now. I welcome the opportunity to turn my back on all the political news that is legitimately captivating - but which does not speak to my vocation or my heart, really.

The balance of body and soul becomes disturbed when the news becomes inflammatory and there is a lot of controversies jockeying for our attention. It becomes impossible to tune into the blissful, slowly flowing and peaceful mood that typifies the meditative, contemplative life when there are excitable elements demanding our attention constantly.

I've noticed also that the mind, once it becomes involved with those energetic influences, tends to want to stick with that vibe, which isn't good for me, speaking from my personal point of view. So I have to gently call it back from the dramas that are unfolding in the world, then point it in the direction of the Divine.

My instruction to meditation students has always been "incline the mind to the Divine."  When we do this, we are with God. Rather, we recognize that God is always with us. We're just not paying attention most of the time. 

Our Lady of Perpetual Help is a wonderful intermediary - someone to hold our hand and soothe us in that process of detaching our attention from the 3-act play in front of us and onto our Lord. I think of her, in times like these, as a divine bridge.

Yesterday's saint is an example of a steady saint who exemplifies a balanced personality, spiritually speaking, and a wide range of skills. I sense that he must have been an extremely intelligent man. Saint Anthelm, like many of the saints, was a hermit for some time.

Time spent alone with God is like anchoring yourself at a very deep level, and after that you may travel anywhere and everywhere and do all sorts of business, yet still be attached to the Lord. Living as a hermit gives you a type of security that does not allow for other people or exciting events to throw you off balance.

Saint Anthelm started out as a priest, and then after visiting the Carthusian Charterhouse at Portes, he entered that contemplative order. A couple years later, he was made abbot of Le Grande Chartreuse, the most famous of the Carthusian order's monasteries. The Carthusians are ascetic and contemplative.

I remember watching a wonderful program about Le Grande Chartreuse when I was a monastic with the Vedanta Society. It really affected me. I remember thinking that male monastics have much grander establishments than the women, which may not be a bad thing. I've just noticed that, no matter what the religion, men always have more comfortable and grander living arrangements. Often, they've corralled the women to wait on them, including, in some instances, NUNS, who I don't imagine particularly enjoy that, having given up domestic life to join the convent.

Just to prove my point, I'll tell you that he made a lot of improvements to the place, including building a defensive wall and an aqueduct. It seems he was equally skilled as an organizer and administrator because he pulled together the various charterhouses and standardized the rules.

He may have worn himself out with all of that building and fixing and organizing, because it was after that episode when he lived as a hermit for a couple of years. He no doubt needed to anchor himself to The Lord after all of that!

After a couple years as a hermit, he got all busy with political stuff, defending Pope Alexander III against an "antipope." After this, he was appointed bishop of Belley, France. WHEW!

Was there anything this guy did not do? Building, organizing, contemplating, hermiting, bishoping. A remarkable man, by all accounts, and I've only told you half his story. Anyway, he is an example to me that, as much as I think I am overwhelmed with all the things I must do, while at the same time being unable to actually physically DO them, it is not impossible, and perhaps I need to just ask for the intercession of Saint Anthelm to help me organize.

So, my personal affiliation with this saint is much more tenuous than with the others that I typically discuss. He was sent to England to arbitrate a dispute between Henry II (my 26th great grandfather) and St. Thomas Beckett, but something curtailed that trip because he had to return to Belly where he took care of the poor and the local lepers.

Now, it seems to me that caring for the poor and the lepers is the sort of thing your superiors task you to do when you have gotten too big for your britches and you need to get in touch with your humble faith.  But who could blame this saint for being a little impressed with himself. Honestly, he really IS impressive, don't you think?

My takeaway from Saint Anthelm is that it may be possible for me to "balance it all," hermit-life and the maintenance of the physical plant, writing and study and all the other labors.

Speaking of which, I am coming up on my 20 year anniversary of hermit life. I need to renew my enthusiasm for the life and become more regular in my prayers, if that is possible when considering how my disabilities affect my schedule. But I think I can do better than I have done recently, and I plan to make some changes before my anniversary in February of 2023. I will ask Saint Anthelm to help me. I think he's just the guy.

In the meantime, I ask that you please pray for me so that I may become a better example of this life and thereby grow closer to God. I will pray for all of you also.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

Silver Cottage Hermitage

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MY GRANDFATHER, SAINT EDGAR "THE PEACEFUL" KING OF ENGLAND, AND A HOST OF OTHERS

 

SAINT EDGAR "THE PEACEFUL"

KING OF ENGLAND

My 33rd Great Grandfather

Born 7 August 943 - Died 8 July 975

Patron Saint of Kings and Widowers

MY 33RD GREAT GRANDFATHER

When I have a rough day, and my pain is ratcheted up and I feel like complaining, I often glance at the saint of the day to find that the Catholic world is celebrating at least ONE illustrious ancestor of mine.  Often, MORE than one is involved, which can be overwhelming to meditate upon, or even to write about, but I feel oddly supported by the numbers. (More about that later.)

Typically, as in today's saint, that ancestor has some weighty responsibilities and, comparing mine to his or hers, can help put things in perspective.

As it happens, today's calendar has quite a few of my relatives, as well as some favorites like Macrina "The Elder," known as one of the Desert Mothers and an example to me. But I can't write about them all just now because it is 11 p.m. and I am going to try to do this post quickly so I can at least make an effort to get into bed.

PEACEFUL UNIFICATION AND ESTABLISHMENT OF TRADITIONS

One thing I particularly appreciate about this grandfather is that he was so successful in unifying the English realm that it never devolved back into the handful of minor kingdoms such as East Anglia, Mercia, Northumberland, Wessex, York, etc., etc. When crowned, he became king of a cohesive kingdom.

In these days of much talked-about divisiveness between the two major parties in the American political scene, I feel that we could certainly use the gifts of someone like Edgar the Peaceful.

Also, the ritual of coronation, as well as the oath taken during it, began with Edgar's coronation and continues to this day.

His division of the kingdom into "shires" also persists to present time. He had a steady hand when it came to government.

SAINTS SOMETIMES "RUN" IN A FAMILY

Edgar's mother was Saint Aelfgifu (aka "Elgiva") wife of King Edmund I "Atheling" of England, but her saintliness must have been more a matter of DNA than any nurturing she could have given him because she died the year after he was born. I can't tell you how many times I have wished that some of this wonderful DNA had been passed down to me!

(See my blog of May 18, her feast day, for more information,)

Upon the death of his mother he was sent to be raised by Athelstan, the Ealdorman of Mercia, and his wife, Aelfwynn.

Edgar's great grandfather was Alfred the Great, and it is through him that ONE of my lines of descent traces to that sainted king. I am actually descended from two of Alfred's children with his wife, Saint Ealhswith.

All these sainted ancestors could be confusing if they were not recorded in history and in my family tree. I will often write their names and relationships in my calendar on their feast day and meditate on various aspects of their lives, asking for special intercession from my "royal rellies!"

With regard to these royal families, they are often recognized as saints through their support of monastic institutions. Other families, such as Therese of Lisieux, are extremely devout, with a mystical bent, and THIS is what gets passed down through the ages.

MONASTIC REFORMS AND GROWTH

Beginning when he is about 14, he is declared the king of the Mercians and begins a period of monastic reforms, which I find remarkable for someone so young, but we have to remember that most young monarchs had people around them "advising" them to one degree or another. In Edgar's case, he had Saint Dunstan, previously exiled by the prior King. Edgar brought him out of exile and kept him close thereafter. We can see Dunstan's hand in Edgar's rehabilitation of The Church and its monastic institutions during his reign.

Saint Dunstan was very popular for quite some time. Apparently, there is some story about how he bested Satan, and I need to try and read up on that little tiff! It is bound to be educational and/or inspiring. I know little to nothing of Dunstant at the moment, but clearly I need to repair that deficit!

Under Edgar's rule, the monasteries had to be rebuilt because a great number of them had been sacked by the Vikings. As usual, some of the aristocratic classes become resentful of resources going toward this work, as well as the land that was given over for that purpose.

Even the saints get pushback when one is trying to do something holy and good! Something to remember when we try to establish some holy work or intention and even the church hierarchy objects or just stands in the way! Humans are the same, no matter WHAT institution they occupy. Some are holy. Some are not.

PROGRESS FOR FEMALE MONARCHS AND A SOAP OPERA

Another thing I really like about his is his appreciation for women in positions of power. Up until this point, women were not usually given any at all....always just an appendage of some husband or other.

He officially crowned his wife Aelfthryth "Queen of England," a real first.

The problem, though, with Edgar's - ahem - appreciation of the fairer sex is that supposedly he could not "keep it in his pants."  He was accused of having an affair with a nun named Wulfthryth (aka Saint Wulfthryth of Wilton.)  OTHER SOURCES say that she was his lawful wife but was "put aside" and banished to the nunnery. She bore him one son.

Then, at some point, Edgar had sent Ethelwold to "check out" Aelfthryth (my ancestor queen), but the messenger fell in love and married her himself. He conducted a subterfuge wherein he told King Edgar that she was terribly ugly. Later, he was murdered. We are guessing it was arranged by Edgar.

It is all very tawdry and complicated, as these royal marriages could often be in those days.

As usual, I have to leave this most interesting saint for another day when I have time to read up on him.

THE INNER LIFE

In my case, most of my work has to do with the inner life of a solitary monastic. I don't know that there is much to recommend him as far as Edgar is concerned, when it comes to inspiration, anyway. I can certainly appreciate his steadiness in government and devotion to the monastic orders, albeit probably Saint Dunstan's influence that pushed that forward. He was certainly a staunch advocate for women in power, to the degree allowed in those days.

With an ancestor like Edgar, I will often ask for intercession to be endowed with qualities of strength, courage, devotion to duty, and that sort of thing.

THE MYSTICS AMONG US

At the suggestion of a holy friend, I joined a Facebook group for "Catholic Mystics" recently. There were only a few available, and except for one they were small and most had not had a post in several YEARS. I was left with ONE, essentially, and, sure enough, today when I checked out what was going on, some woman had posted a blatantly political meme about gender identity, objecting to it and saying that God does not make mistakes. This was a reference to some things that are happening in the political realm these days.

We live in an era where politics has infected and taken over Christianity. It is terribly sad. I joined that group because I had been looking for some spiritual companionship with others of like mind, but apparently there is none to be had. I got pushback when I objected to the political nature of that post, but several people were on their high horse about this topic. The "holier-than-thou" attitude is hard to take. It is a huge turnoff, and I will most likely leave that group.

Don't get me wrong. I am far from ignorant about politics. I make it a point to read up and get acquainted with what is going on so that I can be a responsible voter. I just don't want to see this in my prayer time, when I listen to a homily, or when I am spending time in a group that is supposedly about the mystics.

I am also not in favor of stomping around the world trying to get non-religious people to conform to my ideas of religion. THIS is exactly why the separation of church and state is hugely important. Jesus said to evangelize. He didn't say that our salvation depended upon political measures.

Mother Tessa Bielecki warned me about this when I was corresponding with her from my Hindu convent 30 years ago, where I had read about the mystics and had resolved to leave and become Catholic. She told me that I would not find the mystical life in the parishes and, for the most part, she was right.

I remember the last time someone brought the Eucharist to my apartment, 2 or 3 years ago. Instead of discussing the readings of the day, she was enthused about Donald Trump, and was thanking God for HIM. It was very upsetting.

I have to pray to my ancestor, Edgar the Peaceful, for him to intercede for me to be endowed with the strength necessary to continue this solitary path without yearning for any company on it. I pray to be flexible, though, and welcome whatever God wills and allows.

The only company I need is that of The Lord and no other, so I must be satisfied with Him and just know that He is always with me and that all my lovely ancestors and other relatives, cousins, and inspiring friends, are watching after me from Heaven. I embrace them in spirit.

Of course I realize there are others like me in the world today. I know of a few "city hermits" in Arizona and in other states. Most hermits do not adopt this monastic journey permanently. In less than a year, I will have been living this way for 20 years. Can you imagine? Two decades like this. It has not ended up as I imagined it might, but it is not awful. I am aware of the company of the Divine. I just need to be better established in it.

Even hermits have to do some work to survive. I have monthly social security from more than 33 years of working, but I hope to start painting again one day soon and make some money to get caught up with bills. I have made some crocheted scarves and ponchos to sell at a local store, if possible, as well as some earrings. Of course, the novel is progressing, though slowly. I have always been more interested and inspired by ART than by writing, and that has not changed, but I just hope to become a little FASTER with it than I am at present. We will see how it goes. I sometimes wonder if other people are going to be interested in what interests me. We shall see!

In the meantime, I ask you to please donate to my wish list on Amazon in order to get nourishing food, vitamins and supplements into the house. I have some expenses coming up and could use the help.

Also, have had some deterioration of the bones in my feet, which is quite painful and which was made worse by the Birkenstocks I was wearing, so I had to get rid of those and buy another style by a different manufacturer. Whenever I have to buy shoes, it comes out of my food money, leaving me short for the month.

PRESS THIS LINK FOR WISH LIST

Thanks so much for your company along my journey. I know there is a handful of you who read my blog and I hope that SOMETHING in all of this keeps you inspired to continue down the holy road.

God bless us all

Silver Rose