BLESSED MARIE-ANNE HACHER DU BOIS - At the Mercy of Circumstance - New Years' Resolutions

 

Blessed Marie-Anne Hacher du Bois

being dragged to her death during the French Revolution

The ONE woman on the Catholic calendar of saints for whom November 2 is the feast has almost nothing written about her that I can find on the internet. Imagine this: that you give up your life, to die in an horrific manner, for the sake of your religion, and the Church in which you do this doesn't bother to retain information about your life story.

As usual, the official "Saint of the Day" is Basil "The Great" and there are all sorts of things written about him. Historians might say that more is known about this man than Marie-Anne Hacher du Bois, who was martyred for her faith - but I would contend there is a reason for that as well. Historians are traditionally men, and men ignore the accomplishments and saintliness of women. Yes, I am expressing a broad generalization, but this generalization is far more true than not.

Despite the paucity of information for this female "blessed," I am taking her up anyway. Oddly enough, we have her actual birth date, April 3, 1765, and her death date: February 10, 1794, in Avrille, France. As an expert genealogist, I will tell you that knowing the exact birth date of someone born in the mid 18th century is fairly unusual, with the exception of those born into the royal houses of Europe. As far as I know, this blessed was an ordinary woman of Anjou, France. Some of her "biographies" say she was a laywoman. A few claim her as a nun. In any case, she died during the French Revolution for the sake of her faith.

Whenever I am studying a saintly person from history, I always try to align myself with their circumstances, and in this respect, with this particular woman, I feel like she and I were each caught up in the turmoil of general societal circumstances over which we have no control. In her life, it was the French revolution, and in mine it is a world-wide pandemic and, to a lesser degree, a government that has gone mad in the hands of a wealthy despot.

Spiritual life transcends every other aspect of existence, as far as I am concerned. Those of us who have given ourselves over entirely to our faith must opt to follow the dictates of that faith rather than occupy our hearts and minds with anger toward our circumstances. Most Americans are distracted by the dangers of the "novel" Covid virus and the implied perils and pitfalls of a surprisingly fascist government, but Jesus himself was killed at the hands of misguided government, and his inner peace and sense of mission were not thrown off by it. Other than educating the powers-that-be when they accosted him, he stayed focused on the matters of God.

I am too easily distracted by the failures of everyone else, specifically with regard to orders I place for various survival items. None of the merchants I deal with seem to be able to produce the items they claim they have for sale, but they go ahead and send me SOMETHING ELSE I cannot use. Food prepared or picked by others arrives rotten or unpleasant or otherwise WRONG in some way. This is all complicated by the fact that when I prepare my own meals or make my own supplies, I am unable to clean up after myself, as it requires more standing than I am able to tolerate while washing pots and pans.

As I write this, pots and pans from CHRISTMAS DAY remain in the sink, moldering away. (The nuns of the Vedanta Convent could tell you about my messy cooking habits, which have not changed. They would always ask me plaintively, "can't you wash your OWN pots and pans?" I could not. Standing on my crumbling bones to cook the meal for a dozen women was all I could manage because, even though I was only in my mid-30's, the arthritis I inherited from my mother's side of the family had already taken hold and was eating away at my bones and joints. Thank God I was a fairly good cook.)

I COULD have an attendant come to help me from the agency. Medicaid will pay for it. But it is far too dangerous to have someone come into my house when there is a deadly pandemic virus coursing through the population. The world and everyone in it has become dangerous.

These pressures have taken their toll on my mood. I have become irritated far too easily - and this corresponds with my failure to discipline myself better with my meditation routine. Like many elderly disabled people who suffer constant pain, I am having trouble sleeping, and it is throwing me off my schedule. This has been going on for a very long time, and whenever I push myself very hard to adjust my sleep, I not only fail to do what I aim to do but I also have an even greater difficulty restraining the irritation.

It has become obvious that two things are now necessary. I need to give up many of my "do it yourself" decisions and habits. I can no longer "do it myself" no matter how hard I try. My body has retaliated against me.

As was once suggested to me by a very spiritually advanced priest, I need to use the many painful circumstances of my life to push me closer to the Divine, and this is, indeed, the job of the mystic.

For instance, since I am determined to simplify while at the same time eating very healthy, I can also develop a type of ascetic eating habit that involves as much raw fruit and veg as possible. To some degree, some of my food has to be prepared by others, so I have decided to try a food delivery service called DAILY HARVEST, which is rather expensive and will really cut into my food supplies. Therefore, I will also use this as an opportunity to lose more weight - though perhaps in a faster mode than previously. Mostly, I have ordered some frozen fruits and veg that, combined with some soy milk in the blender, will be a nutritious breakfast. They ship it to you in dry ice, after the fresh fruit and veg have been frozen "at the farm." We shall see.

Secondly, I need to work on my decision to avoid complaining.  To qualify that term, I would say that reporting what has happened is not the same thing as complaining. Frankly, I have found that for poor people, most news is "bad" news. Nearly every saint I have studied had a life liberally peppered with unfortunate circumstances. It is how you greet your circumstances that is the key. Everyone has to decide for themselves what this means, but I think that desiring too much sympathy may be a warning sign, at times. But mostly, I would say that one's mood is the real indicator.

Now - what if you have what is called a "mood disorder?" I am not a psychiatrist and I don't have a mood disorder myself, so I can't say. I do have a big case of PTSD, dating back to childhood, and this comes with its own baggage, but my personal experience is that the decision to manage it is the tell-tale indicator of whether or not one is complaining or simply reporting the daily goings on of life.

The most important signal to watch for, I would imagine, is whether or not one remains curious about the welfare of OTHERS. If you lose track of the needs and circumstances of other humans and remain focused on your own disappointments, selfishness has taken hold.

As with all spiritual disciplines, it is not one's success in overcoming all these obstacles that is the most important thing. It is our aspiration and our attempts that matter. What do we intend to do? How sincerely do we work at it?

One thing I particularly love about New Year's observances is the tradition of committing to New Years "resolutions." Everything I have talked about in this post pertains to my New Year's resolutions for 2021. As usual, it all centers around my spiritual disciplines.

I would love to hear your resolutions for this new year. Take a minute to write me and let me know.

In the meantime, may God bless us all.

Silver Rose

SAINT AILERAN - "SAPIENS THE WISE"

SAINT AILERAN

aka "Aireran", "Ercran" and 

"Sapiens the Wise" or "Aireran an teagnaidh"

{Aireran the Wise}

During the time between Christmas and New Years, my personal tradition is to try to get a jump on my New Years' resolutions, which usually include greater simplicity in the household and in my clothing. This typically will involve giving a lot to the poor - but I have already done that, and the only things left are clothings that, though WAY too big for me, I must keep because I have nothing else until I can make myself a wardrobe.

In the interest of our poor ecology, and with deference to my multiple allergies to chemicals, I try only to use natural fabrics when I make clothes. This means cotton, wool, linen and silk. It is ironic that these natural things are customarily more expensive than artificial fabrics that ruin the environment, but even though linen is more expensive than polyester, making my own clothing from linen is STILL less expensive than buying ready-made clothing. The robes and dresses I make will accommodate future weight loss so I don't have to do this again, and the type of clothing best suited to my needs can't be found among the ready-made options anyway. This year will be a year of tying up loose ends, simplifying, sewing, and preparing for a period of greater attention to my monastic routine

Resolutions for 2021 include pulling myself away from too much attention to political matters. Lord willing, I will finish the first draft of my novel. I will make myself a simple "capsule" wardrobe, including home-knit socks that I have to learn how to make. I would like to lose another 40 pounds. I hope to survive the Covid era. Those are my only real resolutions, though I have many projects in the queue. During social isolation, I will not be bored.

One of my perennial projects is the study of and meditation on some of the saints I find inspiring.  Being a Celtic gal, I am rather partial to the saints with Irish and Scottish links. In today's case, the saint was also a monastic as well as a highly intellectual type and a writer who penned a biography of Saint Patrick, as well as one (each) for Saints Brigid and Finian.

Saint Patrick

(Aileran wrote the 4th life of St. Patrick)

Apparently, Aileron was a highly esteemed scholar at the Abbey of Clonard, having been welcomed to it by Saint Finian himself. The modern "Clonard Monastery" is not the same facility. It is a more modern place, in the center of busy West Belfast in Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom.

Saint Finian of Clonard

Clonard Abbey, where Saints Aileran and Finian resided, used to sit on the River Boyne which is now in the Republic of Ireland, which is an independent country that is not part of the U.K. It is in the County of Meath, and the village of Clonard is very near.

This is a photo of the approximate monastic site of Clonard, courtesy of Andreas F. Borchert. [See: LINK]

Site of former Clonard Abbey

In the year 650, Saint Aileran was made Rector of the Abbey, though it is hard to imagine him taking on the extra duties, considering the scholarly works he produced, as well as the fact that he became proficient in Latin and Greek during his time there, and proceeded to translate ancient works in those languages.

A fragment of his Short Moral Explanation of the Sacred Names is extant and is read aloud each year in various European scholarly institutions.

His last work was a treatise on the Genealogy of Christ, According to St. Matthew [An Allegorical Exposition of the Genealogy of Christ.] This was first published by Thomas Sirin, in 1667 under the title Ailerani Scoto-Hibernia, Cognomento Sapientis, Interpretatio Mystica Progenitorum. The explanation of the sacred names, mentioned above, was attached to it. Apparently, these are the only representatives of all his works, the previous mentioned biographies of Saints Finian and Brigid, as well as the other works, having been lost somewhere in time.

The work is detailed in the Lives of Illustrious and Distinguished Irishmen, edited by James Wills. A (free) copy of that work may be found, online, at THIS LINK.

Aileran died of the yellow fever on today's date in the year 665, which is detailed in the Annals of Ulster, under the name of Aileran the Wise.

When I read about the wonderful works that celebrated monastics are able to produce while attending to the daily office and becoming scholars and translators of multiple languages to boot, I sometimes wistfully long for a simpler life, and perhaps a life lived in common, that would allow me to concentrate my energies on intellectual pursuits. Modern life provides so many avenues of distraction that I often wonder if civilization is such a boon to humans, after all.

On the other hand, I feel tremendous gratitude for the inspirational gift of these manifold channels of education that come to me so easily through the internet here at home, and, truth to tell, I am not constitutionally suited to the rigors of the typical monastic life, considering my multifarious infirmities and a creative spirit with which I was born and which forms the basis of whatever "work" I can claim to do. 

When I examine my life with an eye toward making my New Year's Resolutions, it makes me a bit melancholy that I am not able to follow anything but the most modest standards of sanctity, but I am determined to work at remaining humble and satisfied with my limited gifts, and the whole of my life, with its domestic demands and frustrations. I tamp down the unrealized dreams when they arise, and I am indebted to the saints, whose lives I study are a wonderful illustration of holiness to which I aspire.

May we all be inspired by saints like Aileran, the Wise.

.

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

PAY ATTENTION

 

Saint Anthony the Hermit

Part of the advantage of meditating is beneficial side effects. When you learn to concentrate your mind on the divine in meditation, your mind becomes more and more refined. Many people try to remove the religion from this practice - because they want the ancillary skills and benefits that a meditation practice provides but they assume it can be divested of spiritual content. I have found that removing the spiritual aspect truncates those side effects. I can't tell you why.

The effort of concentration is too much for some people. They walk through life on auto pilot. They don't pay attention to communications. They have poor study habits. Their relationships suffer from inattention. 

Jesus Christ - praying in the Garden of Gethsemane

Too many people are not fully present for life.

This morning, I saw a perfect example of this. A woman on Facebook posted her desire to offer one of her kidneys to the medical community for a person who may have need of one because she says her type 0-negative blood is 'rare.' 

I asked her, "would you get mad at me if I tried to talk you out of this?"

She said, "no," with a funny little emoji, so I gave her two reasons why she might not want to give a kidney to a stranger. It was a short exchange, but I checked with her first because I myself do not like unsolicited "advice" and I am very careful not to step on toes in this regard.

The next thing I knew, she has 'blocked' me on Facebook and sent me a hostile message in which it was CLEAR she had not read or comprehended the question. Her final comment? "We are through," she said. The whole thing was bizarre.

When she said "no," for some reason, she thought she had said "no" to comments instead of "no" to whether she would get mad at me. She was not paying attention and I can't talk it out with her and have her re-read the sentence because she blocked me without engaging in any discussion, which is too bad because I rather liked her.

Now, maybe this is all for the best because it does seem more than just a little odd that, after a history of completely benign and pacific exchanges between us, she would fly into a rage like that, so my guess is that there are other things going on with her mentally, that don't have anything to do with today's communication. I will pray for her, and I hope you do also. Perhaps she will re-read the comments in that thread and realize her mistake.

Today is the feast day of Saint Anthony the Hermit. I take a keen interest in the histories of other hermits.  Their stories are typically very sad, with plenty of harsh treatment received at the hands of other people. I feel a kindship with them, for both the mystical consolations AND the miserable circumstances of life.

Saint Anthony, born about 468 in Valeria (now in Hungary) suffered the loss of his father and was given to the Abbot Severinus of Noricum (now in Austria.) When Severinus died, Anthony went to Germany to his uncle Constantius, Bishop of Lorsch. By the time he was 20, he was already a monk and had retreated to an island in Lake Como. As with many hermits, he attracted a group of followers, wanting to become holy. He lived in several solitary places then became a monk at the Abbey of Lerins. He was known for great holiness and some miracles.

It is very interesting to me that most hermits have similar histories, in that they do not remain strictly alone. It is the strength of their belief in their connection with the Lord that keeps them on the solitary path. THEIR attention isn't diverted - and it this grip they maintain on the grace of the Lord that attracts others to follow them.

Modern life exerts pressures on modern hermits that didn't exist in bygone eras. I am finally starting to compose my Christmas cards. They are "late" in the sense that it is after December 25th, but that day is just the first day of the 12 days of Christmas, and I personally love to celebrate as long as I possibly can. Would Saint Anthony the hermit send Christmas cards if he was living today? Would he have a cupboard full of dishes and teapots and things with which to feed others? I often wonder.

Tomorrow I have to upload bank statements to the Medicaid people for the special program that helps disabled people like me. I am not very good with technology, and the time that will be eaten up in this process will eat into my spiritual disciplines. Would Saint Anthony eschew the help they offer? I wonder.

I remember when I first left the Vedanta Convent and two of the nuns came to visit me in my new apartment where I lived on a carpeted floor with no furniture. In the living room, there was only 4 large pillows and 2 folding lap trays. I had no furniture and sat on the floor for everything. One of them, an Australian woman with English airs, put her plate on the carpeted floor. I moved it to the little folding tray, as I didn't want her to have to eat off the floor where people's feet had trod.

"Oh, so you're house proud," she said.  Although the rest of them lived in an actual mansion with plenty of furniture, I was house proud because I moved a plate from the floor. This woman wasn't paying attention either, which is a shame because she had all the benefits of a life geared entirely for it.

Keeping a simple life accommodates so very many different styles, doesn't it? If you are disabled, living in constant chronic pain, as I am, ascetic practices are "built in," so to speak. It is the pain that becomes the spiritual currency that we offer to God, when we are no longer able to live on the floor.

There are many people who, at what the Swami would call "the fag end of life," have only pain to offer the Lord in reparation. Eventually, I should write up my rule of life, and it will be for people like me - disabled folk who suffer much and struggle to turn the lemons of bodily injury into the lemonade of spiritual exaltation.

In the meantime, I am getting out the Christmas cards and struggling to upload documents with tiny little print I can barely read so that I can get the medical care I need without having to stop eating in order to do it. Then there is the 'simplification' project in which I make some matching robes and eliminate unnecessaries to reduce the obligation of choices - and the amount of daily laundry! When you stay in one place for 16 years, things tend to pile up which is, perhaps, the reason why Saint Anthony moved about so very many times.

Moving is no longer possible for me, however. Everyone's body gives out, in the end.

Another neighbor has died - this time, the man who lived on the second floor above me. Just a few days ago, I opened my door just as the attendants were putting his body into a long, low and very black unmarked station wagon of sorts. As they slid the gurney in, and the legs snapped into place, his feet, which had been wrapped with a white sheet, jiggled in a way that told me his spirit had left his body. I had JUST been thinking about getting his Christmas card into the mail. I wonder if people realize how many elderly people end up dying alone in their apartments? I have seen many of them in the 16 years I have lived here. 

Good night, everyone. Tomorrow is another day.

God bless us all

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

NEW DIRECTIONS

 

I have enjoyed writing my diary entries and publishing them here, but just like yesterdays newspaper that today is used to wrap the table scraps for disposal, this blog has grown stale. I have less news to share, as the days wear on, because I am doing nothing but meditating and praying, creating art works, and doing some housework on the side.

The book I began years ago has ALSO begun to accumulate some dust, and I am beginning to wonder if I have enough interest in it to finish it - but, more important, whether or not there is anything of sufficient value to put out into society.

Most pertinent, however, is the fact that I have lost most of my vision in my left eye. It is as if I am trying to gaze through a puddle of water. This makes it very difficult to see my work here. I am still able to type without looking at the keyboard, but peering at the computer screen has become a headache.

The time has come to order my life toward accommodating the loss of vision. Thanks be to God, I don't need my eyes to meditate or pray - but everything else has become more complicated.

It is possible I will start an entirely NEW blog with another focus. But I need to rest for a while first.

In the meantime, feel free to wander over to my Facebook page and we can chat there. If you have any meditation questions, I will be available for recommendations.

God bless us all.

Silver

Sannyasini Kaliprana

SAINT TANCA AND NATIONAL HANDBAG DAY

 

Today is one of those days on the calendar when the female saints are once again given short shrift. There is only one female saint among the handful of other saints and, as per usual, it is a young girl who died "protecting her virginity" and for whom that is all that is known except her name which, in this case, is Tanca. In fact, she is so obscure, I could not find a single painting pretending to represent her. So, the picture at the top of today's entry is of a really cute handbag, in celebration of National Handbag Day!

I would like to be able to say something wise or pithy about just why it is that there are so few women saints and why so many of the ones we DO know about died defending themselves from the importunities of men. I, myself, wish to know why - out of all the things that might be said about a person -THIS fact is what someone chose to remember about so many of these practically unknown saints.

Suddenly, I am reminded of how many times in my life men have taken credit for my creative process and my work. For instance:

When I was living in one of the Vedanta houses in Hollywood, just prior to joining the convent, I was put in charge of "All Gurus Day" which was sometimes known as "Fathers Day" and I did a huge amount of work, especially with my creation of a multi-media show. In addition to organizing and scripting the program, I created, completely from scratch, a beautiful slide show about the underlying influence of "The Unknown Saints among us," complete with a music score underneath it, which I linked to particular slides with the help of a machine that a borrowed from one of the Vedanta men who happened to have access to this equipment.

I wrote the script for this creation, engaged an actor, directed her voiceover performance, created the program for the other aspects of the event, and even created and printed the flyers advertising it. The theme for the show itself had been my creation. Indeed, the entire thing was my "baby."

It was a gorgeous show, very meaningful, with a peaceful vibe. It had been a huge amount of work over several weeks and I was happy with the result.

After the show was over, I was standing outside the temple next to the man from whom I had borrowed the equipment. As the audience came out of the temple, they automatically looked to HIM and congratulated HIM on the beautiful program! It was bad enough that these people gave this ancillary guy the credit, even though these people had SEEN me do the work, had all kinds of conversations with me about it, and to whom it should have been more than obvious who had created it. What really astonished me is that he took the credit, as if he HAD actually created it even though he did nothing! Incredible. I was so astonished, I just looked at him, wide-eyed, with my mouth agape, as one after another, people came out of the temple, turned to him, and praised him for the wonderful slide show. To this day, I am sure this guy, who did nothing but lend me some equipment, would tell you that he did it all.

Later, I created a Vedanta magazine that another man took from me, brought to a bunch of other men and it is being published to this day. Stealing the brainchild of a woman is nothing to them. It happens all the time.

This tendency of men to assume unto themselves all the credit for the work produced by, created by and inspired in the minds of women is infuriating. Humans have been civilized for thousands of years, yet the male of our species continues to act like the head of the chimpanzee troupe. Because men are typically physically stronger and bigger than the women, (and I suppose because of all the damn testosterone), they forcibly take all the prizes, earned or not, and then distribute the crumbs of the remainders to the women they automatically assume it is their right to dominate. It is one thing to be proud of one's own work, but to abrogate to oneself the creation of others is the height of arrogance - and this is more common than dirt.

If a woman dares to complain about any of this, she is fiercely admonished, her worth as a person attacked - and there are all sorts of derogatory names heaped on  her head. Men employ these mechanisms of shame to keep us in line because women WILL often hesitate to challenge the man when he takes the credit for her work. We are often more retiring and we hesitate to demand recognition. And we don't want to abase ourselves by whining about it. What was I going to say to those people who came out of the temple and thanked that guy for all the work I did? "Hey, congratulate me! I'm the one that did it!" How would THAT have sounded? Would I have had to have a fight outside the shrine of the Lord? No. It wasn't my temperament.

Coincidentally, in monastic life, I've noticed a decided propensity to lauding character traits that are more typical of traits that men possess over those of women. For instance, in the Hindu tradition, the giving up of jewelries and cosmetics is part of the process of taking sannyas - but since when are these things customary for a man to use in any case? The cutting off of all hair is another one of these rather convenient "sacrifices." Most men wear their hair short, and women tend to let theirs grow. A large percentage of men go bald as they age, something over which they have NO control. How convenient of them to attribute spiritual currency to the shaving of their heads! It costs a man next to nothing to shave his head, but in many societies it is considered a great humiliation (and is often meted out as a punishment) to cut the hair of a woman.

Likewise, women are usually more interested in the "nesting" aspects of life than men. Many of us are clever about equipping and decorating our homes. A great number of us have a bit of the Mary Poppins about us and carry a virtual drug store in our handbags, from which we dispense hand lotion, tissues, aspirins, combs, and a vast array of useful items for our families. 

So, when I notice that there are TONS more male saints than female saints, my experience with the male of the species tells me that THIS is not all there is to the story. I am quite sure that there are just as many female saints as there are male saints (maybe more), but the men push the women back into the corners and push themselves and their companions forward to take the praise and the prizes, which makes me far less interested in the male saints and also makes me suspicious of the wonderful characteristics attributed to them.

I could give several more examples of  how male traits are given all sorts of honorifics and feminine traits are disparaged, but I'm sure you don't need me to do that.

There are those who opine that monastic life isn't appropriate for women and there have even been some writers in the Eastern traditions who say that women who DO take up monastic life are really men after all. It's silly, I know, but I didn't create this situation. I mention this obscure text as another example of how it is assumed that being a man is so much better than being a woman. It is hogwash, of course.

I have to categorically state that I am not saying that all women are the same or that all men are the same or that the character traits I have attributed to some men or women apply to ALL men or women. I am not saying that. I would never say that sort of thing about any topic because there are ALWAYS exceptions that prove the rule in any topic concerning groups of people - in the same way I would never say that all Republicans feel, think, act and speak a certain way - or Democrats. Variety is not dead and we are not manufactured beings. I am just noting tendencies that occur in the vast number of cases - not all cases.

I'd love to say that I have a solution for all the societal ills to which I have alluded with regard to men taking all the credit and for pushing women down and so forth, but I don't. I have no idea what to do (if anything) about this situation. I'm just observing and reporting it.

But I do wish to say one thing. I would like to encourage women to avoid taking all the prejudicial treatment "on board." To whatever extent we are maligned and discounted, we owe it to ourselves to keep our hearts pure and unsullied by the negative traits assigned to us by the opposite sex. 

Hindu Holy Woman

In fact, this persistent degradation of women is so pervasive that women themselves will often malign others of their sex and perpetuate the negative stereotypes. I see this in the obsessional support Donald Trump has with a certain type of woman. They even look the same. Bleached blonde hair, false eyelashes, tight clothing, high heels, lots of makeup. I am not a psychiatrist, but I am sure a psychiatrist might have something to say about women who gush over a man who treats women like dirt, calls them vulgar names, and is especially hard on women who don't pump up the volume on their sex appeal.

So, I am winding back to "the unknown saints among us." I would like to send a message out to all my sisters in spirit. Please don't take it to heart. Don't buy into what the misogynists are saying about you. Remember that there are misogynists in BOTH camps and keep your own counsel. Don't pick yourself apart with self-loathing and bemoan how little like a man you are. True, we don't have a lot of role models to pattern ourselves after, but once you've done the best you can, take confidence in the fact that the Lord sees everything you do, say and think. He knows you in your innermost being and is acquainted with your best self. Hold onto that and ignore the constant slurs of an uneven, unfair and illogical society.

May we all be blessed.

Silver Rose

P.S. I was struggling before the pandemic hit. Now groceries are even more expensive than they were before, the dog needs to go to the vet for his yearly shots, my car has had no maintenance for several years, and the electric bill for a very hot summer was $200.00 EACH month! Please consider contributing to my Amazon donation list. They have my address and can mail to me directly.

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SAINT AUREA OF PARIS FEAST DAY - OCTOBER 4 - NOTES ON CONTEMPLATIVE MONASTIC LIFE

 

Relic of the saint in a decorative housing

Saint Aurea of Paris celebrates her feast day today, along with Saint Frances of Assisi and at least half a dozen other saints, all male, as far as I can tell. As you know, I am keen to make the female saints a bit better known than they are presently. Of course, there is only so much one can say about a saint for whom not much information has been passed down to us over time - not because they are any less saintly than other saints, no doubt, but because women just don't get much recognition in a church run entirely by men.

I used to make a joke out of this, saying that women are more naturally saintly, so that when a man lives a saintly life, that fact alone is a miracle! While humorous, I won't claim that it is true. I am just casting around for some reason besides the obvious - that women are not celebrated nearly as much as the men...for whatever reason.

Why does this matter? Everyone needs a source of inspiration, and I find nothing more inspiring than another woman living the Christian ideals most assiduously - especially monastic women, and CONTEMPLATIVES, since that is my path.

Saint Aurea of Paris

Of particular interest with regard to today's saint is that she died of the plague. Considering that we are currently beset with a modern day epidemic, we can certainly relate to what she must have been feeling, especially since 160 of her monastic sisters also died of it.

Saint Aurea was originally Syrian but relocated to Paris, France and was put in charge of St. Martial convent as Abbes by Saint Elegius in 633, where she ruled for 33 years (a number I find interesting because when our Lord died, HE was 33, I believe.)

Saint Elegius

(Sometimes called "Eloi")

I find Saint Elegius himself to be a most interesting person, having been a metalsmith, and this is an area that interests me. I am currently contemplating learning how to make punched tin frames for my religious paintings and am trying to calculate whether all the time and money will be worth doing it, since I have already lost the vision in my left eye and doctors anticipate that I will likely lose it in my right as well.

Saint Elegius was extremely gifted in many areas and is the patron saint of metalsmiths, craftspeople, horses, and is credited as a gifted spiritual teacher. Saint Godeberta was one of his pupils.

Interior of Saint Paul Saint Louis Church in Paris, France
Photo by David Iliff

License: CC BY-SA 3.0

The Saint Martial convent where Saint Aurea of Paris was Abess is no more. I offer you the following etching from 1850 which depicts a narrow impasse called the "Impasse Saint-Martial" which was all that remained of the Saint-Martial convent by 1850.

artist: 

Theodor Joseph Hubert Hoffbauer

(1839-1922)

It does make me a little sad to see how this convent that held such holy women, saints and martyrs to the faith, has just disappeared - eaten up, as it were, by the city of Paris. Over time, these holy institutions could not be maintained. In addition to the terrible EXPENSE, there is no longer the enthusiasm for it. The faithful don't feel inspired to support the monastic institutions as they once did because they no longer understand the absolute value of the spiritual work of men and women who have set themselves aside for the sole purpose of contemplation of the Divine and prayers for the faithful. Intercessory prayer isn't valued in the same way it once was.

In addition, from the other side of things, the monastics have been sullied by the corruption of a small number of priests who were predators of children, who snuck into the ranks of the holy ones, causing untold damage to innocents. The monolithic institution of "the church," in turn, did not deal with these predators in an appropriate way, which highlighted some degradation that had occurred in the church, over time.

You see, monastic life in the Christian tradition actually started out being mostly composed of independent hermit-type Christians who set themselves apart from society, initially going out into the dessert to live a penitential, solitary existence dedicated to prayer and ascetic practices. Later, hermits are found housing themselves in caves, such as in the fairy chimneys of Cappadocia, in present-day Turkey. In some countries, they retreated to the forest. 

Hot air balloons float over the caves of

former religious hermits

in the "fairy chimneys" of Cappadocia, Turkey

At times, a particularly holy person would attract followers who would cluster around them in their own hermitages. Various types of organization were employed. Things grew from there, and I suspect that at least a partial return to the earlier manifestation of independent monastics is more than due. The corruptions of monolithic institutions need to be addressed, at least in the West.

In the Catholic Church, the home of the Christian mystics and saints, there are STILL official "diocesan hermits" provided for in the canon, but it appears that the institution is loathe to confer that designation. As in other traditions, if you are willing to give a small fortune to The Church, it will quickly dispense with any impediment that it imagines for anyone else  who might approach it. Even so, as a Diocesan Hermit, you are not all that "independent" because every detail about your life has to be approved by the bishop. You can't blame them for wanting to be in control of anyone pretending to be a part of the official institution, though. Mentally unstable people are often attracted to extreme forms of religious expression, and it takes a lot of work to establish whether or not an individual is of sound mind. 

Hindu sannyasini - holy woman

at the Kumba Mehla celebration

There are many independent holy men and women who have taken sannyas in India. A great number belong to large institutions. Some merely belong to the tradition. My sannyas was an independent thing approved by my swami, who had hoped that I would open a Vedanta Center in Arizona, but which turned out to be more physically taxing than I would be able to endure. Plus, I would be living in what was, essentially, a very small but very public space that I would have to share with a male swami who would visit once every 4 to 6 weeks. The master bedroom was to be reserved for the visiting swami, and this reminder that I was to do all the work while the man got all the benefits was something I did not wish to revisit in my life.

It isn't that I don't like people, by the way. I like people too much, and it would have pulled my focus dangerously off-kilter. The swami knew this, however, and I don't think he was surprised when I ultimately declined his offer to open the center in Arizona. When I had left the Hollywood convent, he said to me, "who will smile at the devotees if you leave?" He knew my nature.

Hindu holy woman - Sannyasini (renunciate)

In American culture, the general lack of value placed on the contemplative path is unfortunate. Just the presence of a person who has dedicated themselves to this way of life has a positive effect on everyone who comes in contact with him or her. But I remember hearing from many of the devotees who frequented the Vedanta temple that there was a good deal of resentment against the monks and nuns because it appeared as if they lived a higher standard than the devotees. The devotees didn't have to live in close quarters under constant criticism and, while the housing appeared to be grand, it is well known in monastic circles that we could use all sorts of things but couldn't actually have anything. Bottom line? The grass is greener, as they say. (Personally, I was thrilled at the freedom that this granted me. It was a delight to only have 2 or 3 keys on my key ring and not to have to pay a single bill.)

Many people in my generation became enamored of the mystical, contemplative life of the Hindus that was made popular in the hippie era. What many of us did not know is that the Christian church has its OWN mystics that are just marvelous. There is nothing in the Christian Church that cannot be perceived through the meditative methods of Vedanta. God is ONE.

[NOTE: While I am  happy to look at Catholicism through the lens of Vedanta, some Hindus whose tradition I am co-opting by this are, at times, peeved by it. Out of respect for that point of view, I offer THIS LINK TO A "HINDUISM TODAY" ARTICLE about this topic. It appears to be mostly a problem for those in India who object to the perceived efforts on the part of the Catholic Church to convert Hindus to the faith by using their own images and traditions "against" them.]

Sign outside Bede Griffiths' Shantivanam Ashram

in India

Unfortunately, parish life in America, on the other hand, is rule-bound with little support for the contemplative perspective. Pedestrian matters of sex, family life, contraception and abortion grab most of the attention, unlike in the early days of the church. I pray that one day they strike a better balance.

It had been my intention, in the early days of my hermitage, that I would start a small Catholic ashram catering to like-minded people, but I was robbed of a promised inheritance that would have purchased the house, and my physical disabilities worsened and multiplied. It isn't out of the question for the future, but at 66 years old, I am fast running out of future. I DO hope that my writings encourage others to explore this life, however.

Like the Church of Saint Martial, which housed so many women and so much prayer then disappeared into nothingness, I am of a certain age when I contemplate my own demise and anticipate that I will likewise disappear without much fanfare. The prayer corner where I spend my hours speaking with the Lord will be partitioned and distributed among the faithful, a statue here, an icon there, a rosary somewhere else. None of these things are permanent. What IS permanent are my prayers and the vibrations of my conversations with and meditations on the Lord.

What I hope to leave behind is an appetite for the contemplative life, and it is my hope that other women will be inspired to live the vowed life at home, like their friend, the accidental hermit.

May we all be blessed!

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

P.S. Food has gotten more expensive during the Covid virus, on top of a food budget that was ALREADY very tight here. I've long ago reverted to a vegetarian diet, but would welcome some canned fish, if wild caught (mercury free.) There are other necessary items listed on my donation list on Amazon. They have my address and will mail to me direct. Check it out on my donation list, link below:

CLICK HERE FOR DONATION LIST

GOOD TROUBLE HAS CONSEQUENCES

In the background of all my days is the Covid-19 pandemic, but that isn't the first thing I think of when I wake up. I think of the nutty, conspiracy theory fueled, abusive authoritarian regime that has captured our government. It has scary implications for a poor disabled old lady who is going blind and has no power, except the power of my mind and my prayers....which is not "my" power at all, but the power of The Divine.

Hitler had his brown shirts. Trump has his white supremacists, Boogaloo Bois, neo-Nazis, Q-Anon conspiracy theorists, and pseudo militia men, tricked out in full camo and loaded assault rifles, who are now taking the law into their own hands and are murdering citizens who have the gall to protest the killings of black citizens by a trigger-happy, militarized police force.

The dangerously escalating situation started when a black man, George Floyd, was murdered by four policemen in broad daylight, on a city street, in full view of many witnesses, and memorialized by several videos.

While the prone, defenseless, unarmed and restrained citizen pleaded that he could not breathe and begged for his mother, one of the police officers, the murderer, pressed his knee into George Floyd's neck while the other police held him down. Onlookers can be heard on the videotape, trying to intervene, but the police officers spent a good six minutes strangling him. The cold, bloodless look on the face of the murderer is eerie.

Protests started to break out in response. It certainly wasn't the first black American to be murdered by police, but enough people had finally had enough of this travesty that they were willing to risk their own lives to protest with an eye to change.

The response of Trump, the police and the right wing "law and order" crowd was to kill more people and assault the peaceful protesters with gas, rubber bullets, and clubs.

Online, the right wing was complaining, not about the citizens who had been murdered in the street by the police that were supposed to protect them, but the tiny percentage of looting and violence that was occurring. This is typical of the alt right talking heads. They ignore the main issue and get it lost in the weeds of much less evident side issues. This is how the conspiracy theorists operate, as well. If they can find ONE instance of something happening, they blow it up to such an extent that, in their minds, at least, it becomes true for a massive number of people. It isn't truth, but they don't care about truth. They care about force and punishment, even if they have to manufacture an issue that they can then stomp on.

The response of Trump's administration and the right wing lie machine was to (1) express outrage against the protesters instead of the police who murder citizens on the street; and (2) express approval and encouragement for armed white supremacists to take the law into their own hands and come to the protests with loaded weapons to, supposedly, "protect property," but all I saw were pitched battles between them and protesters, initiated by the quasi-military goons who had taken it upon themselves to establish "law and order."

The response of the police was to (1) kill MORE black citizens; and (2) collude with the white supremacists so they would come in large numbers, bristling with weapons.

The protesters, seeing that there was no attempt to address the issues of racism and human rights abuses, but that, instead, the establishment had doubled-down, became enraged. (Who could blame them?)

Most recently, part of a group of white supremacists, a 17 year-old proudly came to a protest with an assault rifle and killed two protesters, after which he approached the police, who basically patted him on the head and sent him home. (You can well imagine if the kid had been black and had approached the police with an AR-15 slung around his neck, after killing two citizens. They would have shot him dead where he stood.)

Shortly thereafter, police can be heard thanking the armed civilians for coming out that night.

There is video and audio of all of this, and I have seen most of it.

Witnessing some of the recent murders of citizens by police, vis-a-vis video and audio tape taken by bystanders with their cell phones, had actually made me sick to my stomach.

The pandemic, a despotic fascist dictatorship, and the string of abuses against people of color, women, minorities, disabled folk, seniors, and anyone deemed too "different" to be allowed to live, is horrifying. This is not the America that the world has counted on to do the right thing. Starting with the kidnap and incarceration of babies and children at the border, we became the bad guys. I have cried every day since this started.

I have always been nonviolent. I have subscribed to Martin Luther King Jr.'s philosophy of nonviolent protest and resistance since I was a little girl. In response to the blood bath on the Edmund Pettus Bridge in which John Lewis, of blessed memory, was savaged and nearly killed, I participated in a protest march in the streets of Carmel, California. But now, since becoming old, disabled and nearly blind, I can't even do that. All I can do is meditate, pray and advise.

I admit that I sometimes feel demoralized and overwhelmed by the sheer volume of amoral, abusive language spewing out of Trump, but when I put my mind at the feet of the Lord, the way is clear. I have to continue to advocate for the vulnerable and the weak, even though I myself belong to those categories.

In Proverbs, there is a commandment to kings which I believe Jesus would agree that we follow:

Open your mouth for the dumb,

for the rights of all the unfortunate.

Open your mouth, judge righteously,

and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

~ Proverb 31:8

Although I have not taken to the streets to protest, I have suffered reprisals for my words of protest. I used to have supporters, in my parish and here, online, who were helping me with small gifts and gestures of kindness. One of them bought me a reclining chair when mine broke, so that I would have something on which to sleep. (I can't sleep lying down.) Another gave me a couch she had inherited. A group of them took me to lunch or tea on my birthday - but because I advocate for the weak, the vulnerable and the marginalized, and because I call out Trump and the lies of the right wing, they all, (except one) called me "hateful" and shunned me. They blocked me on Facebook and never spoke to me again.

The last time I was able to go to church and actually sit through mass, I happened to encounter one of them in the hallway. She glowered at me ferociously, lifted her nose in the air, turned her back to me, and stomped out the door.

Another supporter, a woman in IRELAND, of all places, had somehow become a Trump enthusiast. She had been trying to help me find a decent place to live that would be helpful when I lose more of my vision, but she also sent me an angry screed.

The assistance of my "Christian" family has always been welcome, especially since my father's will had been changed after he got dementia, and I was written out. (Typical family greed. He subsequently died under very suspicious circumstances, and I didn't know he had passed away until his body had been cremated, destroying the evidence.)

It is ironic that I left the Hindu convent because of the lack of love exhibited by the people in that faith, only to find that Christians are, for the most part, no better. Just because they claim to follow the God of love, doesn't mean they actually DO. A good portion of them don't even advocate for Christian love and fellow-feeling, opting instead for the dark side of resentment, grievances, force and punishment. The few who actually follow Christ are a beacon of light to me, and I thank God for them daily.

I mention all of this because I want you all to know that there is a cost to advocating for truth and justice! I am not just "blowing hot air" because the internet enables me and it is therefore easy to get my opinion published. I have suffered and continue to suffer retaliation for my advocacy - so when I ask you to do the same, you understand that I am also paying a high price.

I offer up my prayers today for all who need them, especially for the black community that has endured so much for so many years, and I pray that they continue to protest without undertaking violence. I recommend the same to the rest of you, as well.

May God bless you all.

Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020 Silver Parnell
All rights reserved.

THE SUN STILL SHINES

"Rainbow in the Trees"

Photo taken by Silver Parnell

Copyright © 2020, all rights reserved

The real advantage of having had a wonderful spiritual teacher in one's life is that, if you've spent enough time with them, you can pretty much anticipate what their advice would be, even if they've died long ago.

My teacher, who was somewhat of a father to me, would brush off the recent political news. He would say that history is like this and that men have always broken laws and subjected people to tyrannical rule. The overbearing cruelty that is common with dictators isn't unique to Trump. Few people will escape. Once we have done what we can do, spiritual life remains the same. "Meditation, prayer, eating and drinking - all of these things still go on," he would say.

He was a practical man and, during this difficult time, I appreciate his practical example more than ever. Every day, he stuck to the same schedule, no matter what was going on around him. To be clear, he did have a lot of people attending to his needs. I don't think he ever had do any manual work like cleaning his own room or cooking a meal. But no matter how he was feeling, he stuck to his meditation and prayer routines. He attended the expected events, no matter how bored he might be by them or how pathetic was our rendering of the Sanskrit chants. (It must have sounded harsh and grating to his ear.)

It is both soothing and inspiring to conjure up Swami Swahananda in my mind and have a virtual conversation with him about the dictator that has suddenly come to power in my country and how this has affected me and most of my friends, as well as all the other difficulties that have arisen with my disabilities, chronic pain and looming blindness. I can feel the tension melt away, and it is much easier to just stick to my schedule, as much as I have one, and proceed.

Between this post and the last one, I have gained and lost another attendant. This one, although her work was excellent, was socializing in groups of hundreds of people in close quarters without masks. She belongs to a local big box protestant prosperity-gospel church where most of the people don't practice good Covid hygiene because they mistakenly believe that, because they are very good Christians, the Lord is going to protect them and He won't let them get sick with the virus. So, hundreds of people gather on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, in close quarters, doing everything we are told NOT to do.

The agency that provided this woman immediately understood my concern and, in fact, they told me that, with the exception of people who had hired relatives to care for them, none of their other clients were availing themselves of their services during the pandemic. I resolved that I would try to also avoid it as long as possible. My apartment may be in chaos, but at least I will probably live to see the day when the virus is more under control.

In the meantime, meditation, prayer, eating and sleeping all go on.

Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020, All rights reserved

P.S. Getting food into the house is still an issue. Please do what you can to help. Amazon has my address and will mail to me directly. JUST CLICK THIS LINK FOR MY AMAZON WISH LIST

IF TRUMP GETS ANOTHER TERM, I MAY BECOME HOMELESS

Although I have worked for more than 30 years, and paid into Social Security through my employers AND my employers have matched my payments with payments of their own, I just found out from prominent professional historian Heather Cox Richardson that Trump's continuation of his "payroll tax cut" will eliminate my Social Security income by mid 2023...less than three years from now.

She cites the data of Chief Social Security Actuary Stephen C. Goss who "crunched the numbers" of Trump's payroll tax cut scheme and discovered that Trump's plan would end Disability Insurance in mid 2021 - a year from now - and Social Security by mid-2023 - which is three years from now. Social Security will be gone ENTIRELY.

The payroll taxes Trump wants to cut are the taxes that provide the money that funds Social Security and Disability insurance. DON'T KID YOURSELF that it will only cut it back a little bit or that it "wont be that bad." Social Security will be dead and gone in 2023 if Trump has his way, and seniors living on their Social Security insurance payments will have no income at all.

For information about the Chief Social Security Actuary, his bona fides, responsibilities and other descriptions of his functions at the Social Security Administration,

see: THIS WEB PAGE

I have multiple physical illnesses and syndromes that affect my ability to walk and to stand. I am also going blind and have lost most of the vision in my left eye already. I have no family in my life, to speak of, except for some distant cousins I found through my genealogy research. My only income is Social Security insurance, into which I paid for more than 30 years.  If I were to lose it, I really don't know where I could live. I represent a large demographic of seniors.

Because of my meditation and other spiritual disciplines, I'll probably get through this final phase of my life without going mad, but I still don't know if I could survive any homelessness at this late stage, with as many physical disabilities as I've been dealt.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, and the reason why I write blogs like this one, is to inform the public about what is happening to a broad swath of American citizens. There are millions of seniors in the same or similar situation  as I am - relying completely upon their Social Security insurance payments in order to survive. Some may have relatives with whom they can live - but many DON'T. Even if a relative could take them in, most people don't have an extra bedroom. Grandma might have to camp out on the couch. And who can afford to absorb all of the living expenses, food, medicine and medical bills, for another adult person?

After a lifetime of being contributing members of society, dumping America's seniors on the street isn't a fitting reward.

Donald Trump was handed a thriving economy that was on the upswing, but like all the businesses that he drove into the ground and bankrupted, he has destroyed our economy by his refusal to address the pandemic, claiming that it was a "Democrat Hoax" because they were "overreacting" in order to make him look bad. For the longest time, he mischaracterized it. He called it a "flu." He said it would disappear, "like a miracle." He said that the warm weather of summer would kill it. He posited that ultra violet light somehow inserted in the body would kill it. At one point, swallowing bleach was his thing. Recently, he lauded a woman peddling discredited cures with a malaria medication - the same woman who can be seen in numerous videos, screeching at crowds inside carnival-style tents, that illness is caused by having sex with demons in your sleep!

Before Obama left office, he had created a pandemic response team and protocols. Experts had warned that a pandemic was on its way, so the Obama administration put all these things in place. They tried to brief Trump but he wasn't interested. Instead, he disbanded the pandemic response team and the measures that had been put in place.

Even before the virus hit our shores, Trump's tax cuts for the wealthy increased the income disparity gap that already rivaled the worst third-world dictatorships. Although promising to protect Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, his administration has continually attempted to make cuts while hacking away at the Affordable Care Act - continuing to do so, even in the midst of the pandemic!

When he was in business, Trump was famous for cheating "the little guy." All these subcontractors would do the actual work of building some luxury resort or golf course or hotel, and he would just refuse to pay them. They'd have to sue him, but he would sell the building or resort and then declare bankruptcy of the business through which he operated to build it. The working man and woman have always been used by Trump to further enrich himself undeservedly. He is still doing it, though on a larger stage.

The question to ask yourself after reading this is whether or not you'd be happy to have millions of grandmas and grandpas living on the street so that Trump and the other one-percenters can become more wealthy. Also, do you ever plan to retire? What would YOU do without any income from Social Security when you retire or, God forbid, become disabled?

If we don't vote Trump out of office, life for grandma and grandpa is going to be more grim than it already is. Please don't let that happen. Vote for Joe Biden. He is not perfect. No one is. But at least he doesn't want to kill grandma and grandpa. That's a good start.

If, after reading this, you discount the estimation of the Chief Actuary of Social Security, please tell me who it is you believe would have better information about Social Security than HE does.

While deciding, may you all be blessed.

Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020 Silver Samantha Parnell
All rights reserved.

LYING IS MORE DIFFICULT IN THE ERA OF COMPUTERS AND CELL PHONES

Last night, after writing my diary entry for the day, I received an email from the housekeeper who had not shown up. She claimed to have had a car accident on the way to my house and that she couldn't call me because she left her phone in the car and her son couldn't get to it...blah blah blah.

Oh, and by the way, her doctors want her to take a few days off.

First of all, all she had to do was have someone look up the phone number of the agency on the nearest computer or phone and then call them. She didn't need her phone to do it. Information is everywhere in the era of the internet.

Secondly, I remember her telling me that her daughter was due to have a baby any day, and I am willing to bet the $24 left in my bank account that the baby was born, or she had an accident because she was drunk (she was slurring her words when we spoke on Sunday), or - most likely, she found an agency that paid more money and she couldn't call during that entire day because she was working SOMEWHERE ELSE!

I wanted to give her a chance to prove me wrong, so I told her I would believe her if she provided me with a doctors note, in response to which she gave me some word salad that conveyed no information and ignored the request for a doctor's note:

"My employer was the first to know and the baby wasn't born thank you."

The agency tells me they didn't speak to her. There is no doctor letter, and they don't expect one. They won't be using her again, and she won't get a recommendation from them.

This reminds me of the numerous times in the last 5 or 10 years that someone has told me, "I tried to reach you, but you didn't answer the phone," and there is no record of receiving a phone call from them. Somehow, dishonest people "forget" that cell phones keep track of every bit of data going in and out over the airwaves. Whoever calls me, whether I speak to them or not, there is a record of that call.

Just yesterday, a service person claimed to have called me, but they didn't leave a phone message and there is no record of them calling me in my phone history. Why didn't they leave a message, if they were truly "trying to reach" me? Because they did not "try to reach me" at all. They were lying.

Lying has become a habit, but a dangerous one, if you care about your immortal soul, as some religous people claim.

"You are of your father the devil, and you want to 

do the desires of your father. He was a murderer 

from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth

because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks

a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar

and the father of lies."

~ John 8:44

Another housekeeper has shown up and is now, at the moment I type this, working diligently on cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes. She had to get here on the bus, but fortunately she doesn't live far from me.

When I told the new housekeeper about the gal that didn't show up yesterday, after telling me how devoted she was to her clients and how she was available to them "24/7" she piped up and said, "which means 'I won't be seein' ya." THIS gal has potential.

Silver Rose
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020, Silver S. Parnell, All rights reserved.