SAINT NICARETE - DECEMBER 27 - ANOTHER UNKNOWN SAINT

 

I have always been interested in the unknown saints; those who quietly, without fanfare or any sort of self-advertisement, have followed the will of our Lord and showed their love for Him by doing what he has commanded us.

I call her an "unknown saint" because Saint Nicarete is one of those saints about whom we know little, but whose feast day appears on our calendar once every year. She did not leave any writings, there are no stories about her except the bare bones facts of her existence. 

She was born in a fairly well-to-do family of Nicodemia then a part of Bithniya, which is now Turkey. Well known for her piety, she had originally traveled to the capital in order to take care of the poor with her medical skills. 

I don't know when she shifted her focus to taking care of Chrysostom and supporting and following him, but it is easy to imagine that she became aware of his great saintliness sometime around the period during which she was attending to his medical needs.

Later, she followed him into his exile from the Imperial capital of Constantinople, at which time she suffered greatly along with his other followers.

I appreciate this saint's self-effacing example. 

To humbly obey the will of the Lord, without inserting my own wishes into the mix, without believing in my own inclinations, but having faith in His alone, pertains to those spiritual disciplines that affect more of the surface aspects of my life.

There are various stages in the life of a contemplative living in the world, and this sort of life is, in some crucial ways, more difficult than that lived in an institutionally supported hermitage, convent or monastery. 

My overall spiritual discipline is to "pray without ceasing." There are many different types and levels of prayer involved in being able to do that, ranging from the deep silence of contemplative prayer that harkens back to Christ's instruction that we are to go into our closet and pray in secret to our Lord, to the active, physical prayers in which I am following the Commandments given by Christ of how I am to function in relation to other humans.

In the deepest stage of contemplation, the household is shut down, phone ringer "off" and sign on the door. I keep my attention on The Lord in order to just be with Him. 

Quietly sitting with God, his saints and angels, is a deep form of prayer in which no discursive thought is necessary. It would get in the way. 

Slightly above that type would be the sort of prayer that involves the verbal prayers with which we are all familiar. Some of the prayers praise God, and many ask him for His Blessings, etc. 

Some of this state can be carried into what I look upon, roughly, as a third stage of prayer in my "walking" life, as I perform the physical acts necessary to the functioning of the hermitage. This third state requires mostly rote physical work performed in silence, such as cooking, sweeping, and that sort of thing.

As we travel up the various stages of praying without ceasing, different parts of our brain are engaged, and the executive functioning is pulled into it. This is where Christ's instructions about how we relate to one another come into the mix, and this is where sin enters in, when we let it.

The monastic's mind is traveling up and down the rungs of this ladder all day, depending upon what is appropriate to the time of day and the schedule.

In order to get to the deepest form of prayer, we have to purify our thoughts and actions in the more superficial phases. The life of a contemplative person is a process of intentionally moving up and down through these various stages. In the more superficial stages, there are many helps that program the mind and heart and clear the way to travel down each rung of the Divine ladder. 

I would love to spend all my time in deep contemplation, or at least floating around in a blissful state of heavenly consolations, but I am a human being, and there is work to do here in this world. I have talent and treasure with which I have been gifted and which I am expected to spend here, and it is during times of action in the world that I have to coordinate my movements with what The Lord's will is for me. This is where the verbal prayers come into the mix of spiritual practice.

Many times, when we talk about prayer, people routinely talk about praying FOR something in particular. We pray to various saints for intercession so that we may be healed of various illnesses, or have success in our ministries or our working lives. I am far less interested in these types of prayers, as I have begun to feel that The Lord knows what is best for me and knows what I need. I love praying to Him, but mostly in the contemplative form in which I spend time with Him.

I do not pretend to be empty of all desires or that I am without convictions about this or that controversy or lack opinions about possible solutions for problems that we all seem to realize exist in our world and sometimes even in our church. I have these trends of mind, of course. But every day I lay them at the feet of the Lord and tell Him of my willingness to abandon them. I say, "do as you will." As time goes on, I pray less and less for any particular thing for myself, and I foresee a time when I will not express any preference at all, trusting Him completely to supply every need.

This is the practice: I admit to Him my preferences, because honesty is required and I do have visions of how I believe my vocation, ministries and art projects would best transpire, and I pray for those things, but always specifically within the context of His will.  I ask Him to please do for me whatever needs doing in order to bring about the overall dream, "but only if it is within Your Holy Will, my Lord."

This is reflected even in my expanded grace at meal times:

"Bless me, O Lord, and these thy gifts 

that I am about to receive.

In Jesus' precious name I pray:

may no one go hungry today O Lord,

may all souls become sincerely converted to thee

and to thy Holy Catholic Church, 

according to Thy Blessed will."

Reading about the saints we barely know, whose silence is mostly what we hear, down through the ages, helps me in the daily practice of expressing my willingness to lay down my judgments, speculations or even my personal point of view.

I present Him with my dreams. I tell Him that these are the things that I consider to be good and holy and it is these good and holy practices, services, and conditions that I hope He will help me to do or have, but if He does not want these things for me or if He wants other, better things for me, or even if He does not think I am worthy of aspiring to the goodness of these things, then I bow in obedience to Him in that.

I have my preferences and desires, but I am willing to dispense with them and be grateful for whatever else the Lord wants for me.

There are even some days when I start to pray for something, think better of it, and then tell Him, "never mind! Please just give me what you want me to have."

This is not to say that I do not advocate for anything and live a mute existence. No. I am not one of those silent people, though I DO spend most of my time in absolute silence throughout my hermit days, punctuated by good-natured chatter when the rare friend drops by.

I use today's saint as an example of someone who has the good sense to subsume their own talents and skills into the service of a greater person.

I have grown the habit of supporting the opinions of the experts: The Catechism, the Pope, The Bible, and the leading saints who point toward Christ, the Catechism, the Pope, the Bible.

When someone gets onto Facebook, for instance, and makes a claim on behalf of The Catholic Church that I know is not true, I will speak up and refer to the Catechism, preferably the exact numbered paragraph that speaks to it. There is way too much false information being bandied about, and I owe it to my church to at least offer the Truth to combat SOME of it.

More and more, I avoid issuing anything of my own opinion because, more and more, I realize that this is not my role. I am not the expert, the authority, the person with the most bona fides on any topic. I am human, however, and sometimes forget that my opinion is not required by anyone, and I have to backtrack and correct the record and delete the post. Keeping my attention on the "unknown saints" like St. .Nicarete, helps keep me in the appropriate attitude.

Today I thank Saint Nicarete for providing a lovely example of an intentionally humble attitude of an accomplished, intelligent woman who could easily have encouraged a retinue of admirers to follow and serve her, but instead chose to support a great saint who had come into her orbit.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE SUPERNATURAL, THE MYSTICAL, THE CONTEMPLATIVE CHURCH

 

THE TRINITY

BY TADDEO CRIVELLI

(From a manuscript created about 1460-1470)

Social Media is an opportunity to evangelize:

A non-Catholic on Facebook says that, although she is not Catholic, she has been reading the Bible, reciting the rosary, praying, and doing other very "Catholic" things, yet still feels empty. As I wrote my response to her, I realized that I was explaining to her not only the reason for my becoming Catholic, but some of the significance of the supernatural and mystical nature of our faith which is accessed by contemplative practices.

My response to her gives a strong explanation of why I became Catholic.

This is what I told her:

"The Catholic faith is not an intellectual exercise. What do I mean by this? I will give you one example. In John 20:19-23, Jesus appears to the Apostles after the Resurrection, satisfies them that it is, indeed HE who stands before them, and then tells them that, just as God has sent Him to them, Jesus is sending the Apostles out to mankind. Jesus has the POWER, as well as the AUTHORITY, to do things under God the Father's power, authority, and direction. Then He does something very significant.

He breathes upon them. What is the significance of this? It is the TRANSMISSION of the power to do those things that God, the Father has directed.

It was not enough to simply HEAR from Jesus that the Apostles have permission and authority to do those things that the Jews always taught that only God, the Father, could do (forgiveness and healing, among them.)

Power was transmitted to the Apostles

Jesus had to transmit POWER to them in order for the Apostles to have the ability to do what Jesus instructed. This is why He BREATHES on them. If simply telling them were enough, He would not have BREATHED on them as a dramatic action.

The POWER is an actual "THING" (for want of a better word.) It is not an intellectual assent or an expression of PERMISSION. It would not have been enough to give them PERMISSION to forgive sins. He had to give them the POWER to do it!

Upon breathing upon them, Jesus announces to them what He has done, "Receive ye the Holy Ghost." The spiritual gift, the spiritual power, of The Holy Spirit has been transmitted to them by Jesus, whereupon He tells them what they are to do with this power that was transmitted to them.

"Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them: and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained."

Apostolic Succession:

Down through the ages, the priests of The Holy Catholic Church have received this Holy Spirit, this POWER, in an unbroken line from those early days. This unbroken line is "Apostolic Succession." From God the Father, to Jesus the Son, to the Apostles, and then down through the long line of bishops (our modern "apostles"), the power of the Holy Spirit travels.

This power was not transmitted to other churches

There is no other Church that has had this power transmitted to it directly by Jesus.

Only the Apostles who formed the Catholic Church were breathed upon by Jesus. The Jews did not accept Jesus as the Messiah, and they did not receive it.

The "Eastern Orthodox" Church started out as the Eastern arm of The Catholic Church, but they would argue that we broke off from them. The Eastern Patriarch excommunicated our Pope and our Pope excommunicated the Patriarch of the Eastern part of the faith. The great Schism between the two halves occurred in 1034, and our territories are divided, East and West. I believe they are considered to have apostolic succession.

(When I became disabled and home-bound, I decided to dedicate my prayers, in general, to the reunion of all Christians, especially the Catholic with the Orthodox churches, so I have a heightened interest in my Orthodox brothers and sisters.)

The so-called "Protestant" churches would not exist for another 500 years after the schism, and they did not receive the breath of the Holy Spirit. They rejected the Church that Jesus started and decided to start their own.

In 1517, Martin Luther posted his objections to the Catholic faith on the Church door, in Wittenberg, Germany, and by 1521, he had left the Church entirely, and that was the beginning of the Lutheran faith in the Germanic countries.

I read something the other day about him taking up with a nun. They fell in love and decided to violate their vows. Instead of admitting what they had actually done, Martin Luther found fault with the Church instead. Not a great pretense on which to abandon the true faith of Christ.

Thanks to Henry VIII, King of England, the English abandoned the Catholic faith for "The Church of England," which was created so that King Henry could marry multiple wives. He issued his Act of Supremacy in 1534, claiming headship of the Church in England.

It is sin and ego that separated out these movements from The Church that cradled them from infancy. We often think we can do better than our Leaders and our betters, thanks to egotism.

Ours is a profoundly supernatural, relational, mystical faith. It administers the intersection of the supernatural with the natural, to beings who are both "body and soul."

A meal you have not eaten cannot feed you.

So far, you have been watching a meal being created, cooked and eaten by others. You see the benefit of it. But you will not receive any of the nutrients, vitamins and minerals from that meal you have not eaten. You can agree that eating that meal is a good thing to do. You can give assent to the goodness of it all you like. But until you eat the meal yourself, none of the vitamins or minerals of that meal will sustain you.

Your soul will be starving until you join the Catholic Church."

The error of human beings does not adulterate The Faith.

All my life, I had searched for the mystical connection with God. I knew, instinctively, that there was such a thing, and I felt, at times, that I was experiencing a hint of it within my soul. Throughout my childhood, I had heard nothing but bad things attributed to the Catholic Church. Everything I had heard about it in popular culture painted a picture of an institution that was staid, rulebound, judgmental, and (at times) cruel and militant.

The Catholic Church is the repository of the supernatural, mystical gift of Jesus Christ.

It wasn't until I was a nun in a Hindu convent, where I EXPECTED to find the mystical heart of God and the universe, that I actually found it in the numerous books I read about the Catholic mystics. Saints Theresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Jane de Chantal, Francis de Sales, and many others opened that world to me. Eventually, I left to get baptized and be accepted into the Catholic Church.

I HAVE found some people who were staid, rulebound, judgmental and, at times, cruel and militant - but The Faith is never thus. Human beings are flawed, and people are limited in their ability to express The Faith, according to their own temperaments, gifts and deficits. Their interpretations of The Bible, or The Catechism, as they relate to the faith, can be limited to only what their temperament will allow. But The Lord, true to His Word, has kept The Faith intact, down through the ages. He promised that "The Gates of Hell" would never prevail against it.

Some people emphasize the Temporal while others focus on the Mystical:

There are some people who reject the metaphysical aspects of the faith, while others reject the practical and temporal. But, just as human beings are "body and soul," so is the faith comprised of both these aspects. We are expected to perform certain actions in and for "the world," while at the same time being informed by and operating within The Spirit. When we do not properly incorporate the world with the spirit, we can develop a mania for one or the other.

There are people who are so transported by stories of the supernatural, that they lose all sense of the practical and worldly altogether. They seem to be gullible to every so-called "apparition" that is advertised, no matter how outlandish it seems to most of us. This is not helpful to the faith and can cause charlatans to take advantage of well-meaning folks. Some of the Catholics who are focused on the supernatural can be dismissive of the practical aspects of the faith. The allurements of the mystical consolations captures their attention so much that they will pursue the entertainments of it and will follow "seers" whose monetization of the faith will appear as if the circus has come to town.

Sometimes, in pursuit of the mystical attractions, the plight of suffering neighbors will be ignored, and we will fail to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and do all the other things we have been commanded to do in order to love our neighbor properly.

On the other hand, folks who are focused on the worldly aspects will be very good at the practical matters. Unfortunately, some of these folks will eschew anything metaphysical. It makes them uncomfortable. They are afraid they will not be taken seriously if they even talk about such things in relation to The Church. For instance, the apparitions of our Blessed Mother can make these kind of people very uncomfortable, even though there is very solid evidence for them. The apparitions at Fatima, Portugal, for instance, were reported in newspapers around the world, complete with photographs of the Miracle of the Sun. Skeptical reporters had gone to that location to debunk the miraculous, only to return absolutely converted, and bring home the proofs of the miraculous they had witnessed. Many thousands of people were eye witnesses.

The current trend:

In the last three decades or so, it seems to me that many parishes have rather more of the latter type of person running them. It feels as if the secular expectations of how to run a business have taken over, and the mystical is regarded with suspicion. This does not mean that "The Faith" or "The Catholic Church" is anti-mystical. It only means that the people administering many parishes, at the moment, have generally more of this tendency. It is my hope that, gradually, it will move to the center position, where both aspects - spiritual and temporal - are blended equally.

Humans are not perfect, but it is my belief that most everyone is doing the best they can, given their personal interpretation of the light that has been given them by the Holy Spirit. That does not mean there is no room for improvement, and one of my prayers, lately, is that the spiritual and temporal be interfaced with one another in the way in which Father, Son and Holy Spirit want them to be. "The Trinity" itself is a perfect example of this Divine, Blessed Balance!

Pray for your parish and your leaders!

If you find any deficit with the parish in which you find yourself, let it be a reminder to pray for the leaders of our faith. When you are praying, don't forget to mention your parish and fellow Catholics. In addition, I offer the following prayer:

Loving God, author of creation,

your spirit pervades and enriches our

world.

Through your Son, who shares our humanity,

You have called us to participate in your divine creativity

and to build the kingdom of God here on earth.

Form us, we pray, as one community

under the leadership of our bishop

to serve all the people of this region in your name.

Inspire us to discover new ways

and structures to spread your Gospel.

Open our eyes to see Christ in others,

especially the poor, the sick and the marginalized.

Empower us to be the hands and feet of Christ

in our parishes and communities.

Help us to welcome all into His embrace.

Guide us in our discernment,

as we pray with Pope Francis

for the vision to see new paths of possibility;

for a spirit of mission that invigorates our every effort;

and for the strength to be unafraid of what is new.

We ask this through Christ, our Lord.

Amen.

Imprimatur: July 25, 2014

The Most Reverend Lawrence T. Persico JCL

Bishop of Erie

I hope you will take advantage of this beautiful prayer and pray it often! Also, that my blog may be of some help to you for yourself and for the enlightenment of those you teach, lead, and inspire in the faith, including your family and your children.

May God bless us all. May the Holy Spirit enlighten us, and May our Guardian Angels guide us!

Silver Rose

FRA ANGELICO AND THE SPIRITUALITY OF ART - FEBRUARY 18

 

The Dormition of the Virgin

by

Fra Angelico

(born Guido di Pietro, aka Giovanni da Fiesole)

Painter and Dominican Friar

Fra Angelico, one of my favorite painters, was declared the patron saint of Catholic painters in 1984 by Pope John Paul II. He had a lifestyle that may be the envy of most religious painters, as his was a blessed balance between traditional conventual religious life and the spirituality of fine art!

He was called the "Angelic Friar" (which, in Italian, is "Fra Angelico") and of the several names by which he was known, this is the one that "stuck."  He was given this name because his paintings were angelic and depicted calm, illuminated religious subjects, while he himself was exceedingly pious.

The History of Saint Nicholas

by 

Fra Angelico

I have met and read about a number of spiritual personalities who were also deeply spiritual and talented artists. There is something about the enclosed life of contemplation that attracts the heart of the artist with a mystical bent. I was also attracted to it, but came too late to the Catholic faith to be of any use to a convent. Instead, this is exactly the lifestyle I have adopted at home, as a disabled lady, though I can't pretend to come anywhere close to this artist's talent!  Obviously, I am not dead yet, so we will see how I proceed with my novels and my paintings.                                                                              

The Deposition of Christ

by

Fra Angelico

Fra Angelico is obviously very famous and there is quite a lot written about him. His frescoes still contribute to the holy atmosphere of the monastery, and many paintings can be viewed in museums. The largest collection is at the San Marco Museum in Florence, Italy.

Fra Angelico began as an illustrator of missals and religious books sometime around 1418 when he entered a Dominican convent in Fiesole, Italy. After some time, Pope Eugenius IV summoned him to paint some frescoes for the Chapel of the Sacrament at the Vatican that is now, unfortunately, destroyed. Other frescoes were painted at the behest of one Pope or another, usually by his assistants, copying or filling-in his original designs.  

For about three years, he served as the administrative head ("Prior") of the Convent in Fiesole - a job I imagine he would not have enjoyed. Artists are typically uninterested in business and the organization of life. Their souls are usually occupied with The Divine. I don't know why it was such a short time, but perhaps that was the practice at that convent - to keep the duration of office short for the sake of the soul and to keep the person humble. If I can find the time, I will dig into it and learn more about that time period (1449-1452.) (By the way, "convents" are usually insitutions peopled by women in the modern West, and Monasteires are usually for men. Different times and countries used those terms in different fashion.)

Much is written about Fra Agenlico on the internet and elsewhere.  I am willing to bet there are some stunning "coffee table books" of his work, so I won't reinvent the wheel and go into too much more of his life.  I would just like to say a little about the place of the artist and art, in general, with respect to religious life.

In 2012, the DIAKONIA OF BEAUTY was founded to encourage an "exchange between artists and the Church."  It offers education,  prayer, and spiritual and economic support to members. Membership consists of musicians, poets, singers, painters, architects, sculptors, actors and dancers."

"Artistic creation completes, in a certain sense,

the beauty of creation..."

Pope Francis

Divine love is the origin of the artistic gift - that impulse to bring into the world a thing of beauty, in imitation of and perhaps in concert with The Divine, and "authentic art" can "speak eloquently of the beauty and goodness of God." (Pope Francis.)

With Pople John Paul II, Pope Francis said that art must "make perceptible, and as far as possible attractive, the world of the spirit, of the invisible, of God."

The Ascension

I have found a couple articles about the Diakonia, and I offer them, below, for anyone who has interest:

VATICAN NEWS - FEBRUARY 2022

NATIONAL CATHOLIC REGISTER - FEB 2022

ALETEIA ARTICLE - MARCH, 2018

My personal theory is that when a person is born with a natural creative talent, this is not only a gift from God, but a message to the person. That gift is meant to be used for the Glory of God and His people. For me, art is a type of bridge of communication between the soul and the Divine that can be witnessed, appreciated and admired by onlookers.  It is communication in solid form.

As a creative person, I have seen what happens when I try to take as vocation a different path than ART. It does not work very well, Certainly, I was able to take various office jobs to support myself, but I would not say that I was terribly successful in it. It was what I needed to do to support myself, i.e., put a roof over my head and food on the table.  But it did nothing for my soul or anyone else's!

However, it occurs to me now as I write this that God's timing is perfect because, when I was younger, I doubt I had much of anything inspiring to contribute to the world, with either my paintings or my writing. 

The Annunciation

I was born into an anti-religious family of poor moral character, except for my beloved Grandmother who wasn't a saint, but was a very good woman, as far as I was concerned. She was opposed to organized religion, however, and she always used to say that "all you need is the golden rule."  The golden rule is fine, for as much as it speaks about our treatment of others, but it is missing a great deal as the sum total of one's personal philosophy of life. My mother, with whom I lived, absolutely hated Catholics. She eventually became a Jehovah's Witness.

My parents were hostile to religion and I was prohibited from continuing my communication with some Carmelite nuns I had discovered in the town where we were living for a while.  After leaving home during the "hippie era," it took me a long time to "catch up" with the cradle Catholics, having cycled through other religions before taking it up again.  

I have long ago forgiven my parents for the awful childhood they gave me, so there are no worries on that score, but, coming from this family, it was natural that, upon leaving home at age 17, I would start making a lot of mistakes, wandering here and there. I did not know how to "do" life. I did not have a clear picture of what I wanted because, rather than running toward something, I was running away from those people.

Christ Glorified in the Court of Heaven

by

Fra Angelico

My journey to Catholicism took a circuitous route, the details of which are not terribly interesting, except that it is important to note that, by the time I became disabled and had to retire on my small Social Security pension, I had seen a lot of the world, had many experiences, spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection, and was finally prepared to contribute art worthy of its Divine purpose, inspired by and infused with The Holy Spirit. Perfect timing.

There is no guarantee that the result will be a masterpiece. I can only pray for The Lord's assistance and apply myself the best I can.

Art is more than something pretty to look at. In 2018, Pope Francis met with a group of two dozen or so artists from around the world, leaders from the Diakonia of Beauty, and he told them, "the gifts that you have received are, for each of you, a responsibility and a mission." In this meeting, his aim was to ask them to help communicate the beauty of transcendence through their artistic language.

Everyone has a vocation, and those of us who are artists have a role as mediators between heaven and earth. Instead of searching for "vainglory or easy popularity, or the "petty calculus of personal profit," we must be dominated by the Divine consciousness.

Coronation of the Virgin

by

Fra Angelico

I hope that this post inspires you to remain true to your Divine Mission and vocation, whatever that is, in artistic or other realms, because it is through this world that we express our gifts and return them as tribute to our Maker.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

P.S. I have gone mostly blind in the left eye, with unreliable vision in the right, so if you happen to see a typo here and there, please do not hold it against me, but I WILL appreciate it if you would shoot me a message when you find a typo and tell me about it so I can go in and change it.  I will be SO grateful if you would!  Thanks so much.

Also, please do not forget that I am working very hard to finish my novel, and I need some research materials, mostly consisting of prize-winning books published last year that give me a picture of what is happening with modern literature at the moment. In addition, inflation has hit me hard when it comes to putting groceries in the cupboards, so if you could donate to my Paypal link, above right, I would be most grateful.

Anyway, Amazon has my address and can mail the items direct to me from my wish list. Help me to help myself, won't you, even if it is just a book or two from the list?  Here is the link:

AMAZON WISH LIST - HELP ME TO HELP MYSELF

FEAST OF SAINT RITA OF CASCIA, SUNDAY, MAY 22, 2022

 

SAINT RITA OF CASCIA

1381 - MAY 22, 1457

Patron of impossible causes,

abused wives, loneliness, the

sick, bodily illnesses, wounds,

and widows.

Saint Rita is one of those saints who had a remarkably difficult life, full of extreme circumstances. She wanted to be a nun from an early age but her parents forced her into an arranged marriage to an awful man when she was only age 12. She must have been very pretty or domestically talented because she had already been pursued hotly by at least one other man prior to her marriage.

Her husband was wealthy, which is probably why her parents forced him on her. He was also foul tempered, and immoral, cheating on her with various women and abusing her savagely.

She worked to convert him and made some progress with that. At the very least, she was able to raise their two sons in The Faith. She tried to convince him to put aside the vendetta and resentments he had against another family, with only partial success. Ultimately, he was murdered by one of that opposing family, even after his feelings of resentment had cooled.

After the death of her husband and then their sons (from dysentery), Saint Rita tried to enter the nearby Monastery of Saint Mary Magdalene in Cascia, but they refused her because of the violence of her husband's death and the fact that she was not virgin.

So, at this point in the story, I have to bring up a pet peeve. Men are not required to be virgin before joining a monastery, and this obsession with the virginity of women is highly objectionable. It still exists in modern times, along with many other inconsistencies and prejudices. I have told the story several times about how that nun pulled me out of the RCIA class 30 years ago, when I first tried to convert, and refused to let me get BAPTIZED because I'd been married and divorced in a secular fashion. She told me that non-sacramental marriages must be annulled by the church before one could become baptized, which is ridiculous and untrue. But she seemed to enjoy kicking me out of the class. What an awful and unjust humiliation. I had to get baptized by the Episcopalians down the street. "Those Catholics," they would exclaim and then roll their eyes at my predicament.

Expecting non-Christians to behave like Christians and then punishing them for NOT doing so is one of those things that deter people from converting and which saddens those who have converted. It is almost as if some Catholics prefer to keep the faith small and elite - like an exclusive country club. Converts are very often NOT welcome if their lives prior to seeking membership in the faith do not look like the life circumstances of lifelong Christians.

These prejudices are common with human beings and they remain even after converting, in some circumstances. Variations of lifestyle, such as people who remain single, are not well received. If you don't bring money or children to the faith, and you are not able to offer your labor, you can count on being discounted. If you were divorced prior to becoming Catholic, you have no chance of joining a convent either, no matter the circumstances. I am sure there are a tiny number of people for whom this is not true, but over the decades, I have found it so. Catholicism is still obsessed with virginity and related topics.

In the end, Saint Rita was allowed to enter the convent in her late thirties. The legend says that she was transported by levitation into the garden of the Monastery at night, but her acceptance into the convent alone is miracle enough for me! 

Stories of Saint Rita's mystical life while in the convent are very engaging. It is wonderful what mystical experiences can be had when leading a contemplative life. When she was about sixty, she was meditating on an image of Christ crucified when a wound suddenly appeared on her forehead and it came to be considered a partial stigmata. Some of the paintings of her depict her with Christ's crown of thorns.

Saint Rita is one of "the incorruptibles," as her body shows no sign of deterioration. It is kept in a glass-enclosed case.

I doubt I'll be buried in a special glass case. I can't even get my parish to mail the weekly bulletin to me. (It is hard for me to read it online, and when I have a hard copy, I feel connected to my community.)  Anyway, they do it for a few weeks, then it stops and I have to call and remind them. Then they do it for a few weeks, and it stops again. And I call them again. Finally, after 4 or 5 go-arounds like this, I have given up.

There are quite a few things about Saint Rita's life that remind me of my own. That is one of the wonderful advantages of having saints to whom one can point one's gaze. She had a thing for roses, evidently, and I have several potted roses in the garden of my apartment. She was also bedridden during the last years of her life, and I am nearly there myself. Once, in January, she asked a visitor to bring her a rose and although it was winter and roses are not expected at that time, the visitor found one beautiful rose in the garden and brought it back to Rita. So she is often depicted with roses.

In the 20 years that I have lived as a hermit in the city, I spent the first ten years trying to get a return phone call from the Bishop's office with regard to becoming a Diocesan Hermit, which is in the gift of the Bishop's discretion. First one bishop and then his replacement, with the same result. No matter how many people I called, I received no response - only broken promises of help. 

The parishes have not been welcoming, with the exception of a handful of parishioners.  In the particular case of the Byzantine Catholic Church, whose liturgy I enjoy much more than the standard Roman Rite, I was actually harassed by the young Ukrainian priest who made loud and bawdy jokes about the size of my posterior, in the company of half a dozen and more parishioners, male and female, complete with pantomimes and rude words.  He laughed at me, as did the other parishioners (mostly the men) who stood around enjoying the protracted joke made at my expense. Joining the Catholic CHURCH has been a universally disappointing experience, with regard to the organization.

There is a part of me that feels embarrassed and humiliated by reporting this story.  This is likely a result of PTSD to which this experience added a level of shame. It makes no sense that I should feel embarrassed by the obnoxious behavior of that callow young priest, but psychology is complicated. I have wrestled with including the story in my writings, but grit my teeth and bear the ignominy. Why should I feel shame for the reprehensible behavior of someone else?

After the first ten years, I realized I would have to live the solitary contemplative life without any corporate support whatsoever.  I am completely on my own EXCEPT, that is, from The Lord and from his messengers, the holy women who assist me and give me great encouragement in The Faith, because while the institution has abandoned me, God sees this and won't allow me to remain unsupported.  He is there for me ALWAYS, and I sometimes wonder if He has graced me with special favor because I have been abandoned by the institution.

There is a wonderful quote in Hosea about the woman who has previously lived a very indulgent life:

"Therefor I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into

the desert and speak tenderly to her."

The Lord goes on to promise that He will return to her the vineyards of her youth, and her lands, and that she will sing as in the days of her youth. Further, He says:

"You will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call

me 'my master.'"

In response to the world's abandonment of the solitary contemplative, The Lord brings her closer to Himself, in a more intimate encounter with Him.

I used to carry around these quotes on a small piece of paper in my wallet, until I memorized them and completely internalized them. They represent to me the beautiful advantages of solitary contemplative life.

Abandoned by the world and even by the hierarchy of The Church, The Lord rushes in to uplift the person in their solitary life that has been dedicated to God.

There is a similar idea reflected in Psalm 27:10, with regard to someone whose family has thrown them away:

"For my father and my mother have left me; but

the Lord hath taken me up."

This theme is repeated throughout the Bible and gives me tremendous encouragement, as do the stories of the lives of the saint who ALSO are very often abandoned by family, by society, by husbands, and by the institution and hierarchy of The Church. Alone and abandoned, He speaks to us in our heart and if we open our arms to Him He "takes us up" unto Himself and the Heavenly realms.

I clearly see this in the lives of the saints, such as Rita of Cascia, who wanted from a young age to join herself with The Lord and yet everyone tried to get in her way of it. (I also became interested in the Catholic Church when I was 11 and was corresponding with a convent of Carmelite nuns - much to the horror of my mother, who hated religion, and Catholicism in particular.)

Rita's parents, knowing her devotion to God and her desire to join the convent, married her off to a rich man instead, likely hoping to gain some financial advantage thereby. 

NOTHING went her way, yet she persisted in her love of God and her desire for union with Him. It did not matter if the entire world refused to support her in this, she maintained her devotion and lived with The Lord in an intimate state.

Stories like hers help me to hang on and persist in keeping company with The Lord, who is here with me every day, accompanying me in my trials. I am able to talk to Him and ask Him for help and He unfailingly gives me encouragement.

Consequently, I have given up all effort to gain spiritual assistance from the institution of The Church. There is no point. Instead, I rely upon a wealth of spiritual and religious texts and historical documents, as well as the large number of movies and documentaries that are available on the internet.

There are a few very special holy women who assist me with great love and generosity, and I look upon them as messengers of God. Some days, I feel I am in bliss. The problems of life continue and I lament the constant trials, but do not lose my faith. Even on the more rare occasions when it seems that all my life circumstances look like absolute Hell, my faith continues unabated and serene because I have the company of The Lord in it. Always in the background, he speaks to my heart.

It no longer matters if a callow young priest characterizes me in a comical, disrespectful fashion and thereafter lies about it to his adoring fans who provide cover for his behavior. It does not matter if people who promise to help me fail to do so. If telephone calls are not returned, if people gossip and spread untrue rumors, if I'm discounted and disparaged at every turn - none of it matters any more. Nowadays, I can not imagine anything better than my quiet solitary life with The Lord. He has taken me up.

Of course, the Catholic Church in New Mexico has much bigger fish to fry than my pathetic case.  My experiences are NOTHING compared to the abuse that children have suffered at the hands of pedophile priests. The New Mexico Catholic Church is currently paying out millions of dollars for its sins of covering up crimes and giving shelter and protection to criminal perverts. It is no wonder that I have been unable to get support for my contemplative spiritual life. I am careful to remind myself that this rejection does not elevate me or make me special. I am beside the point - an unnecessary and unimportant person, in the scheme of things. 

Unfortunately, there are many people who see the contradictions of the behaviors of some of the humans in our institutions and they abandon the faith because of it, thereby losing "the pearl of great price." They do not understand that the  faith is holy, whereas not all of the people responsible for the management of its dissemination are similarly holy. It makes me sad and I pray for them to see the difference and stay with The Faith.  Let us pray for all these lost souls. 

Saint Rita was well known for miraculous results to her intercessory prayers on behalf of others. She is particularly known for resolutions to "impossible causes," such as the cured blindness of a child while the saint was still alive.

She died of tuberculosis and immediately eleven miracles were attributed to her as the result of the prayers of the faithful who asked for her intercession.

One of the prayers to Saint Rita goes like this:

"O holy Patroness of those in need, St. Rita, whose pleadings before thy 

Divine Lord are almost irresistible, who for thy lavishness in granting 

favors hast been called the Advocate of the Hopeless and even of the 

Impossible; St. Rita, so humble, so pure, so mortified, so patient and 

of such compassionate love for thy Crucified Jesus that thou couldst 

obtain from Him whatsoever thou asketh, on account of which all 

confidently have recourse to thee expecting, if not always relief, at least 

comfort; be propitious to our petition, showing thy power with God on 

behalf of thy supplicant; be lavish to us, as thou hast been in so many 

wonderful cases, for the greater glory of God, for the spreading of thine 

own devotion, and for the consolation of those who trust in thee. We 

promise, if our petition is granted, to glorify thee by making known thy 

favor, to bless and sing thy praises forever. Relying then upon thy merits 

and power before the Sacred Heart of Jesus, we pray thee grant that 

[mention your petition here.]  O pray for us, o holy St. Rita, that we may

be made worthy of the promises of Christ."

Also, I ask today for prayers for my neighbor who has Parkinson's for the last 29 years and is becoming seriously ill in her 69th year of life. I am doing what I can to make phone calls for some help to be given to her, but in the meantime, I appreciate very much the prayers of all of you.

God bless you, and have a wonderful week.

Silver "Rose"