There is a tendency among some to assume that humans have been on earth for so long that we have evolved to the point where evil instincts and character have become nearly extinct. We no longer put people in the stocks in the middle of town and throw garbage at them. We don't draw and quarter criminals in the public square, and we've stopped labeling women as "witches" and burning them alive as a civic act.
Despite the paucity of these outward extreme demonstrations of evil, the instincts still remain in the hearts of people who have chosen that path. I call it a path because it IS a road to a destination that still exists. Yes, I am talking about Hell.
Most people do not want to "believe in" Hell, and I grew up disputing it also. Despite a brutal childhood in which I was tortured by one parent and neglected by the other, I was certain that my parents were the rare exception and that most people operated from a position of love and peace, and that no one was perfect and therefore most people weren't actually evil, per se, but only failed to accomplish the good that I assumed was the aspiration of all. Consequently, I spent the first 2 decades of my adult life looking for those good people and failing most of the time.
I went out into the world imagining that most of society's families were represented by John Boy and his kin from "The Waltons" and not by the members of my natal family, who behaved in a maleficent way toward me. In my 20's, I remember frequently expounding on the nature of humans and insisting that "everyone is basically good," and things of that nature. Kumbaya, let's all hold hands and dance and sing happy songs.
As any reader might expect, I was a sitting duck for every con artist, thief and predator in the neighborhood. To this day, the evil of this world still has the capacity to occasionally surprise or shock me, but instead of having faith in the goodness of humans, I now only have faith in the goodness of God, and I have dedicated myself entirely to Him for the last twenty years.
Like many religious "hermits" not fortunate enough to be in possession of family money, I live in a "low-income apartment" on the edge of town and try to live as quietly as possible, duplicating the ashram experience I had while living with the Vedantists, to the extent possible. Naturally, the worldly folk with whom I share a somewhat cramped space, are not in tune with my aspirations, and some are actively hostile toward them.
Two young women have moved into my building and immediately began causing chaos. During a freak arctic weather event, when snow and ice covered the property for several days, they parked in the middle of the driveway, blocking 5 residents' cars, rather than parking in their assigned space. Across the windshield of that car in LARGE white letters, is the very odd saying, spelled out in full, "F--K THE POPULATION."
This is a puzzling saying that I'd never seen before, and I was surprised to see anyone displaying such a blatantly hostile and anti-social motto on their windshield.
According to the Urban Dictionary:
It means that you highly dislike humans as a whole because of the way they about doing things.
“No f--k the population they’re all sheeple anyway."
I also learned that there is a company that uses that epithet as its moniker for its line of clothing (togs for the angry youth, I expect!)
Despite being warned to keep their cars in their own space, the other day they had a woman park in front of my garage and block me from being able to put my car in there. When I asked the visitor to move, she became belligerent and ridiculous, telling me that the space belonged to the apartment building, anyone could park there, and other nonsense, in utter disregard for all the prominent signs that say "no parking," what to speak of the OBVIOUS garage between the two "no parking" signs on the wall right in front of her nose. (I call this "convenience blindness" - a condition in which the sufferer only sees, hears or perceives what is pleasant and conducive to their own interests and designs.)
When I told her to move her car (again) she became enraged and flipped out. She set upon me with filthy words, insinuations of imminent harm that was to come to me, at the same time that three others flew out of the building to join her in harassing me. They descended on me like demons from hell, pressing in on me within inches, flailing and shrieking - pushing finger gestures into my face. One of them, the owner of that car that displays that awful saying, (or the partner of the other woman who owns it), had patches of old pink and blue dye in her hair. Her eyes were wild, her blotchy skin advertised her degraded habits. She kept turning to her companions and whooping loudly, "I told you that f--king old b--ch was gonna be a problem." I could almost see the spit flying from her mouth during her flagitious assault and I was glad I'd had my 2nd Covid shot.
My car door was slightly ajar, and they tried to block me from getting into it to get away from them. The stout middle-aged woman who'd started all this pressed her body into the car door, trying to keep me from getting into my vehicle. I could smell the odor of stale alcohol. When I finally managed to squeeze between the open door and the door jam, she again threatened to do something to me, I'm not quite sure what. It was a big word salad. All I wanted to do was get away from this insane crowd of raving maniacs.
I honked my horn, in the vain hope that someone would come and make them stop - but despite plenty of people witnessing this - they let it go on. There were no heroes that day, and very often this is the case. Few will come to the aid of the vulnerable when they are being bushwhacked. Meanwhile, I was stuck in my car, without my telephone, unable to leave, with the faces of four people pressed against my windows who continued to gesture wildly. They were like rabid animals.
Thinking I would drive away and just escape this situation, I turned on the car and two of them jumped in front of it, pulling my traffic cone in front of my bumper so I could not leave. Meanwhile, the other two pressed their faces into the glass, while they cursed and used vulgar hand gestures. All sorts of things were said.
Eventually, after about 20 minutes of haranguing me, they got bored I suppose and moved away. I got out of my car and limped into my apartment, called the police, emailed the apartment management, and gathered my wits.
Shortly afterward, a resident who saw the whole thing, came down to check on me and make sure I was OK. She told me that her husband didn't want her to "get involved" because he was "afraid that those neighbors would target them." The vulnerable are left without protection or advocate, most of the time.
The crux of the problem is that there is no visitor parking in this entire complex of 75 units, save for about 4 spots near the mail boxes in the middle of the property - none of which are labeled as such. There is a very convenient looking space in front of my garage door, right next to the building, and despite plenty of signage saying "no parking" etc., people park there anyway. If/when I place a physical blockage in front of it, I will have to greatly inconvenience myself by having to get out of the car and move it every time I came in or out. After this recent experience, if the management doesn't provide them, I will have to find the money somewhere to get some large and heavy traffic cones myself. (I have requested them before, but they refused me.)
Unfortunately, as I have reported before, the fairly new manager of this complex is in harmony with those who are breaking the law, flouting the rules and hurting the elderly and disabled residents who are forced to live here by virtue of the poverty that provides them few choices. The other elderly and disabled residents tell me that they are afraid to complain, for fear of retaliation, and I don't blame them. It is a real concern, when the person charged with sheltering the vulnerable appears to despise them.
Many times I have scoured the town for other affordable housing that would provide more space and a safer environment, but wishing doesn't make it so. The other "low-income" housing facilities are even worse than this one.
After the incident, I did consult with a police officer about what had happened. He told me that "in this town," people have been killed for less than asking someone to leave a parking spot, that assaults on elderly and disabled people "happen all the time in Albuquerque," and that the legal process isn't much help, unless someone kills you. Welcome to the wild west.
Given the motto emblazoned across the windshield of my assailants' car in big letters, none of this should be a surprise, but I have to say that it is very difficult to live a retired life of prayer under these circumstances. It is no wonder that cenobitic monasticism became a "thing" and the previously hermit-like nuns and monks began to live together. In addition to other benefits, protection from the evil of the world is at least a possibility. But I am not a good candidate for inclusion in someone else's group, for several reasons - not the least of which is that I am of no practical use to any institution, unless they value my spiritual gifts highly. No one is THAT other-worldly. In addition, I have my own mission, and my writing and creative art projects. After spending decades as an independent monastic, and ruling myself alone, it isn't likely I could easily come under the domination of any other group, even if they wanted me, which no one does.
Given all the circumstances, it does not seem possible to escape the aggressions of antisocial humans without some outside help and, since that is clearly not being offered, I will need to adopt a coping tactic. Jesus, Buddha, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi all advocated for peaceful nonviolence, which isn't easy, of course - but I can't go the route of retaliation because then I would also be in harmony with evil people, and I do not want that. Besides which, it isn't my temperament and never has been.
The moment I would give myself over to retaliation, I would literally be on the road to Hell, in company with villainous companions. At the very least, I have to submerge my mind in the Divine, even if I cannot take my body to a safe place. I must continue to maintain sacred mental and spiritual space around me, if sacred physical space is not possible. At the same time, I rely on God's sure hand to guide me and the intercessory prayers of Mary and my well-wishers to give power to the spiritual space. I hope it will be enough to protect me from real harm. If not, I will be in good company.
I hope you will pray for my success in doing so.
God bless us all.
Sannyasini Kaliprana
