BLESSED MARIE-ANNE HACHER DU BOIS - At the Mercy of Circumstance - New Years' Resolutions

 

Blessed Marie-Anne Hacher du Bois

being dragged to her death during the French Revolution

The ONE woman on the Catholic calendar of saints for whom November 2 is the feast has almost nothing written about her that I can find on the internet. Imagine this: that you give up your life, to die in an horrific manner, for the sake of your religion, and the Church in which you do this doesn't bother to retain information about your life story.

As usual, the official "Saint of the Day" is Basil "The Great" and there are all sorts of things written about him. Historians might say that more is known about this man than Marie-Anne Hacher du Bois, who was martyred for her faith - but I would contend there is a reason for that as well. Historians are traditionally men, and men ignore the accomplishments and saintliness of women. Yes, I am expressing a broad generalization, but this generalization is far more true than not.

Despite the paucity of information for this female "blessed," I am taking her up anyway. Oddly enough, we have her actual birth date, April 3, 1765, and her death date: February 10, 1794, in Avrille, France. As an expert genealogist, I will tell you that knowing the exact birth date of someone born in the mid 18th century is fairly unusual, with the exception of those born into the royal houses of Europe. As far as I know, this blessed was an ordinary woman of Anjou, France. Some of her "biographies" say she was a laywoman. A few claim her as a nun. In any case, she died during the French Revolution for the sake of her faith.

Whenever I am studying a saintly person from history, I always try to align myself with their circumstances, and in this respect, with this particular woman, I feel like she and I were each caught up in the turmoil of general societal circumstances over which we have no control. In her life, it was the French revolution, and in mine it is a world-wide pandemic and, to a lesser degree, a government that has gone mad in the hands of a wealthy despot.

Spiritual life transcends every other aspect of existence, as far as I am concerned. Those of us who have given ourselves over entirely to our faith must opt to follow the dictates of that faith rather than occupy our hearts and minds with anger toward our circumstances. Most Americans are distracted by the dangers of the "novel" Covid virus and the implied perils and pitfalls of a surprisingly fascist government, but Jesus himself was killed at the hands of misguided government, and his inner peace and sense of mission were not thrown off by it. Other than educating the powers-that-be when they accosted him, he stayed focused on the matters of God.

I am too easily distracted by the failures of everyone else, specifically with regard to orders I place for various survival items. None of the merchants I deal with seem to be able to produce the items they claim they have for sale, but they go ahead and send me SOMETHING ELSE I cannot use. Food prepared or picked by others arrives rotten or unpleasant or otherwise WRONG in some way. This is all complicated by the fact that when I prepare my own meals or make my own supplies, I am unable to clean up after myself, as it requires more standing than I am able to tolerate while washing pots and pans.

As I write this, pots and pans from CHRISTMAS DAY remain in the sink, moldering away. (The nuns of the Vedanta Convent could tell you about my messy cooking habits, which have not changed. They would always ask me plaintively, "can't you wash your OWN pots and pans?" I could not. Standing on my crumbling bones to cook the meal for a dozen women was all I could manage because, even though I was only in my mid-30's, the arthritis I inherited from my mother's side of the family had already taken hold and was eating away at my bones and joints. Thank God I was a fairly good cook.)

I COULD have an attendant come to help me from the agency. Medicaid will pay for it. But it is far too dangerous to have someone come into my house when there is a deadly pandemic virus coursing through the population. The world and everyone in it has become dangerous.

These pressures have taken their toll on my mood. I have become irritated far too easily - and this corresponds with my failure to discipline myself better with my meditation routine. Like many elderly disabled people who suffer constant pain, I am having trouble sleeping, and it is throwing me off my schedule. This has been going on for a very long time, and whenever I push myself very hard to adjust my sleep, I not only fail to do what I aim to do but I also have an even greater difficulty restraining the irritation.

It has become obvious that two things are now necessary. I need to give up many of my "do it yourself" decisions and habits. I can no longer "do it myself" no matter how hard I try. My body has retaliated against me.

As was once suggested to me by a very spiritually advanced priest, I need to use the many painful circumstances of my life to push me closer to the Divine, and this is, indeed, the job of the mystic.

For instance, since I am determined to simplify while at the same time eating very healthy, I can also develop a type of ascetic eating habit that involves as much raw fruit and veg as possible. To some degree, some of my food has to be prepared by others, so I have decided to try a food delivery service called DAILY HARVEST, which is rather expensive and will really cut into my food supplies. Therefore, I will also use this as an opportunity to lose more weight - though perhaps in a faster mode than previously. Mostly, I have ordered some frozen fruits and veg that, combined with some soy milk in the blender, will be a nutritious breakfast. They ship it to you in dry ice, after the fresh fruit and veg have been frozen "at the farm." We shall see.

Secondly, I need to work on my decision to avoid complaining.  To qualify that term, I would say that reporting what has happened is not the same thing as complaining. Frankly, I have found that for poor people, most news is "bad" news. Nearly every saint I have studied had a life liberally peppered with unfortunate circumstances. It is how you greet your circumstances that is the key. Everyone has to decide for themselves what this means, but I think that desiring too much sympathy may be a warning sign, at times. But mostly, I would say that one's mood is the real indicator.

Now - what if you have what is called a "mood disorder?" I am not a psychiatrist and I don't have a mood disorder myself, so I can't say. I do have a big case of PTSD, dating back to childhood, and this comes with its own baggage, but my personal experience is that the decision to manage it is the tell-tale indicator of whether or not one is complaining or simply reporting the daily goings on of life.

The most important signal to watch for, I would imagine, is whether or not one remains curious about the welfare of OTHERS. If you lose track of the needs and circumstances of other humans and remain focused on your own disappointments, selfishness has taken hold.

As with all spiritual disciplines, it is not one's success in overcoming all these obstacles that is the most important thing. It is our aspiration and our attempts that matter. What do we intend to do? How sincerely do we work at it?

One thing I particularly love about New Year's observances is the tradition of committing to New Years "resolutions." Everything I have talked about in this post pertains to my New Year's resolutions for 2021. As usual, it all centers around my spiritual disciplines.

I would love to hear your resolutions for this new year. Take a minute to write me and let me know.

In the meantime, may God bless us all.

Silver Rose

SAINT AILERAN - "SAPIENS THE WISE"

SAINT AILERAN

aka "Aireran", "Ercran" and 

"Sapiens the Wise" or "Aireran an teagnaidh"

{Aireran the Wise}

During the time between Christmas and New Years, my personal tradition is to try to get a jump on my New Years' resolutions, which usually include greater simplicity in the household and in my clothing. This typically will involve giving a lot to the poor - but I have already done that, and the only things left are clothings that, though WAY too big for me, I must keep because I have nothing else until I can make myself a wardrobe.

In the interest of our poor ecology, and with deference to my multiple allergies to chemicals, I try only to use natural fabrics when I make clothes. This means cotton, wool, linen and silk. It is ironic that these natural things are customarily more expensive than artificial fabrics that ruin the environment, but even though linen is more expensive than polyester, making my own clothing from linen is STILL less expensive than buying ready-made clothing. The robes and dresses I make will accommodate future weight loss so I don't have to do this again, and the type of clothing best suited to my needs can't be found among the ready-made options anyway. This year will be a year of tying up loose ends, simplifying, sewing, and preparing for a period of greater attention to my monastic routine

Resolutions for 2021 include pulling myself away from too much attention to political matters. Lord willing, I will finish the first draft of my novel. I will make myself a simple "capsule" wardrobe, including home-knit socks that I have to learn how to make. I would like to lose another 40 pounds. I hope to survive the Covid era. Those are my only real resolutions, though I have many projects in the queue. During social isolation, I will not be bored.

One of my perennial projects is the study of and meditation on some of the saints I find inspiring.  Being a Celtic gal, I am rather partial to the saints with Irish and Scottish links. In today's case, the saint was also a monastic as well as a highly intellectual type and a writer who penned a biography of Saint Patrick, as well as one (each) for Saints Brigid and Finian.

Saint Patrick

(Aileran wrote the 4th life of St. Patrick)

Apparently, Aileron was a highly esteemed scholar at the Abbey of Clonard, having been welcomed to it by Saint Finian himself. The modern "Clonard Monastery" is not the same facility. It is a more modern place, in the center of busy West Belfast in Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom.

Saint Finian of Clonard

Clonard Abbey, where Saints Aileran and Finian resided, used to sit on the River Boyne which is now in the Republic of Ireland, which is an independent country that is not part of the U.K. It is in the County of Meath, and the village of Clonard is very near.

This is a photo of the approximate monastic site of Clonard, courtesy of Andreas F. Borchert. [See: LINK]

Site of former Clonard Abbey

In the year 650, Saint Aileran was made Rector of the Abbey, though it is hard to imagine him taking on the extra duties, considering the scholarly works he produced, as well as the fact that he became proficient in Latin and Greek during his time there, and proceeded to translate ancient works in those languages.

A fragment of his Short Moral Explanation of the Sacred Names is extant and is read aloud each year in various European scholarly institutions.

His last work was a treatise on the Genealogy of Christ, According to St. Matthew [An Allegorical Exposition of the Genealogy of Christ.] This was first published by Thomas Sirin, in 1667 under the title Ailerani Scoto-Hibernia, Cognomento Sapientis, Interpretatio Mystica Progenitorum. The explanation of the sacred names, mentioned above, was attached to it. Apparently, these are the only representatives of all his works, the previous mentioned biographies of Saints Finian and Brigid, as well as the other works, having been lost somewhere in time.

The work is detailed in the Lives of Illustrious and Distinguished Irishmen, edited by James Wills. A (free) copy of that work may be found, online, at THIS LINK.

Aileran died of the yellow fever on today's date in the year 665, which is detailed in the Annals of Ulster, under the name of Aileran the Wise.

When I read about the wonderful works that celebrated monastics are able to produce while attending to the daily office and becoming scholars and translators of multiple languages to boot, I sometimes wistfully long for a simpler life, and perhaps a life lived in common, that would allow me to concentrate my energies on intellectual pursuits. Modern life provides so many avenues of distraction that I often wonder if civilization is such a boon to humans, after all.

On the other hand, I feel tremendous gratitude for the inspirational gift of these manifold channels of education that come to me so easily through the internet here at home, and, truth to tell, I am not constitutionally suited to the rigors of the typical monastic life, considering my multifarious infirmities and a creative spirit with which I was born and which forms the basis of whatever "work" I can claim to do. 

When I examine my life with an eye toward making my New Year's Resolutions, it makes me a bit melancholy that I am not able to follow anything but the most modest standards of sanctity, but I am determined to work at remaining humble and satisfied with my limited gifts, and the whole of my life, with its domestic demands and frustrations. I tamp down the unrealized dreams when they arise, and I am indebted to the saints, whose lives I study are a wonderful illustration of holiness to which I aspire.

May we all be inspired by saints like Aileran, the Wise.

.

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

SAINT AILERAN - "SAPIENS THE WISE" - New Year's Resolutions

 

SAINT AILERAN

aka "Aireran", "Ercran" and 

"Sapiens the Wise" or "Aireran an teagnaidh"

{Aireran the Wise}

During the time between Christmas and New Years, my personal tradition is to try to get a jump on my New Years' resolutions, which usually include greater simplicity in the household and in my clothing. This typically will involve giving a lot to the poor - but I have already done that, and the only things left are clothings that, though WAY too big for me, I must keep because I have nothing else until I can make myself a wardrobe.

In the interest of our poor ecology, and with deference to my multiple allergies to chemicals, I try only to use natural fabrics when I make clothes. This means cotton, wool, linen and silk. It is ironic that these natural things are customarily more expensive than artificial fabrics that ruin the environment, but even though linen is more expensive than polyester, making my own clothing from linen is STILL less expensive than buying ready-made clothing. The robes and dresses I make will accommodate future weight loss so I don't have to do this again, and the type of clothing best suited to my needs can't be found among the ready-made options anyway. This year will be a year of tying up loose ends, simplifying, sewing, and preparing for a period of greater attention to my monastic routine

Resolutions for 2021 include pulling myself away from too much attention to political matters. Lord willing, I will finish the first draft of my novel. I will make myself a simple "capsule" wardrobe, including home-knit socks that I have to learn how to make. I would like to lose another 40 pounds. I hope to survive the Covid era. Those are my only real resolutions, though I have many projects in the queue. During social isolation, I will not be bored.

One of my perennial projects is the study of and meditation on some of the saints I find inspiring.  Being a Celtic gal, I am rather partial to the saints with Irish and Scottish links. In today's case, the saint was also a monastic as well as a highly intellectual type and a writer who penned a biography of Saint Patrick, as well as one (each) for Saints Brigid and Finian.

Saint Patrick

(Aileran wrote the 4th life of St. Patrick)

Apparently, Aileron was a highly esteemed scholar at the Abbey of Clonard, having been welcomed to it by Saint Finian himself. The modern "Clonard Monastery" is not the same facility. It is a more modern place, in the center of busy West Belfast in Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom.

                                                                                        Saint Finian of Clonard

Clonard Abbey, where Saints Aileran and Finian resided, used to sit on the River Boyne which is now in the Republic of Ireland, which is an independent country that is not part of the U.K. It is in the County of Meath, and the village of Clonard is very near.

This is a photo of the approximate monastic site of Clonard, courtesy of Andreas F. Borchert.

Site of former Clonard Abbey

In the year 650, Saint Aileran was made Rector of the Abbey, though it is hard to imagine him taking on the extra duties, considering the scholarly works he produced, as well as the fact that he became proficient in Latin and Greek during his time there, and proceeded to translate ancient works in those languages.

A fragment of his Short Moral Explanation of the Sacred Names is extant and is read aloud each year in various European scholarly institutions.

His last work was a treatise on the Genealogy of Christ, According to St. Matthew [An Allegorical Exposition of the Genealogy of Christ.] This was first published by Thomas Sirin, in 1667 under the title Ailerani Scoto-Hibernia, Cognomento Sapientis, Interpretatio Mystica Progenitorum. The explanation of the sacred names, mentioned above, was attached to it. Apparently, these are the only representatives of all his works, the previous mentioned biographies of Saints Finian and Brigid, as well as the other works, having been lost somewhere in time.

The work is detailed in the Lives of Illustrious and Distinguished Irishmen, edited by James Wills. A (free) copy of that work may be found, online, at THIS LINK.

Aileran died of the yellow fever on today's date in the year 665, which is detailed in the Annals of Ulster, under the name of Aileran the Wise.

When I read about the wonderful works that celebrated monastics are able to produce while attending to the daily office and becoming scholars and translators of multiple languages to boot, I sometimes wistfully long for a simpler life, and perhaps a life lived in common, that would allow me to concentrate my energies on intellectual pursuits. Modern life provides so many avenues of distraction that I often wonder if civilization is such a boon to humans, after all.

On the other hand, I feel tremendous gratitude for the inspirational gift of these manifold channels of education that come to me so easily through the internet here at home, and, truth to tell, I am not constitutionally suited to the rigors of the typical monastic life, considering my multifarious infirmities and a creative spirit with which I was born and which forms the basis of whatever "work" I can claim to do. 

When I examine my life with an eye toward making my New Year's Resolutions, it makes me a bit melancholy that I am not able to follow anything but the most modest standards of sanctity, but I am determined to work at remaining humble and satisfied with my limited gifts, and the whole of my life, with its domestic demands and frustrations. I tamp down the unrealized dreams when they arise, and I am indebted to the saints, whose lives I study are a wonderful illustration of holiness to which I aspire.

May we all be inspired by saints like Aileran, the Wise.

.

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

PAY ATTENTION

 

Saint Anthony the Hermit

Part of the advantage of meditating is beneficial side effects. When you learn to concentrate your mind on the divine in meditation, your mind becomes more and more refined. Many people try to remove the religion from this practice - because they want the ancillary skills and benefits that a meditation practice provides but they assume it can be divested of spiritual content. I have found that removing the spiritual aspect truncates those side effects. I can't tell you why.

The effort of concentration is too much for some people. They walk through life on auto pilot. They don't pay attention to communications. They have poor study habits. Their relationships suffer from inattention. 

Jesus Christ - praying in the Garden of Gethsemane

Too many people are not fully present for life.

This morning, I saw a perfect example of this. A woman on Facebook posted her desire to offer one of her kidneys to the medical community for a person who may have need of one because she says her type 0-negative blood is 'rare.' 

I asked her, "would you get mad at me if I tried to talk you out of this?"

She said, "no," with a funny little emoji, so I gave her two reasons why she might not want to give a kidney to a stranger. It was a short exchange, but I checked with her first because I myself do not like unsolicited "advice" and I am very careful not to step on toes in this regard.

The next thing I knew, she has 'blocked' me on Facebook and sent me a hostile message in which it was CLEAR she had not read or comprehended the question. Her final comment? "We are through," she said. The whole thing was bizarre.

When she said "no," for some reason, she thought she had said "no" to comments instead of "no" to whether she would get mad at me. She was not paying attention and I can't talk it out with her and have her re-read the sentence because she blocked me without engaging in any discussion, which is too bad because I rather liked her.

Now, maybe this is all for the best because it does seem more than just a little odd that, after a history of completely benign and pacific exchanges between us, she would fly into a rage like that, so my guess is that there are other things going on with her mentally, that don't have anything to do with today's communication. I will pray for her, and I hope you do also. Perhaps she will re-read the comments in that thread and realize her mistake.

Today is the feast day of Saint Anthony the Hermit. I take a keen interest in the histories of other hermits.  Their stories are typically very sad, with plenty of harsh treatment received at the hands of other people. I feel a kindship with them, for both the mystical consolations AND the miserable circumstances of life.

Saint Anthony, born about 468 in Valeria (now in Hungary) suffered the loss of his father and was given to the Abbot Severinus of Noricum (now in Austria.) When Severinus died, Anthony went to Germany to his uncle Constantius, Bishop of Lorsch. By the time he was 20, he was already a monk and had retreated to an island in Lake Como. As with many hermits, he attracted a group of followers, wanting to become holy. He lived in several solitary places then became a monk at the Abbey of Lerins. He was known for great holiness and some miracles.

It is very interesting to me that most hermits have similar histories, in that they do not remain strictly alone. It is the strength of their belief in their connection with the Lord that keeps them on the solitary path. THEIR attention isn't diverted - and it this grip they maintain on the grace of the Lord that attracts others to follow them.

Modern life exerts pressures on modern hermits that didn't exist in bygone eras. I am finally starting to compose my Christmas cards. They are "late" in the sense that it is after December 25th, but that day is just the first day of the 12 days of Christmas, and I personally love to celebrate as long as I possibly can. Would Saint Anthony the hermit send Christmas cards if he was living today? Would he have a cupboard full of dishes and teapots and things with which to feed others? I often wonder.

Tomorrow I have to upload bank statements to the Medicaid people for the special program that helps disabled people like me. I am not very good with technology, and the time that will be eaten up in this process will eat into my spiritual disciplines. Would Saint Anthony eschew the help they offer? I wonder.

I remember when I first left the Vedanta Convent and two of the nuns came to visit me in my new apartment where I lived on a carpeted floor with no furniture. In the living room, there was only 4 large pillows and 2 folding lap trays. I had no furniture and sat on the floor for everything. One of them, an Australian woman with English airs, put her plate on the carpeted floor. I moved it to the little folding tray, as I didn't want her to have to eat off the floor where people's feet had trod.

"Oh, so you're house proud," she said.  Although the rest of them lived in an actual mansion with plenty of furniture, I was house proud because I moved a plate from the floor. This woman wasn't paying attention either, which is a shame because she had all the benefits of a life geared entirely for it.

Keeping a simple life accommodates so very many different styles, doesn't it? If you are disabled, living in constant chronic pain, as I am, ascetic practices are "built in," so to speak. It is the pain that becomes the spiritual currency that we offer to God, when we are no longer able to live on the floor.

There are many people who, at what the Swami would call "the fag end of life," have only pain to offer the Lord in reparation. Eventually, I should write up my rule of life, and it will be for people like me - disabled folk who suffer much and struggle to turn the lemons of bodily injury into the lemonade of spiritual exaltation.

In the meantime, I am getting out the Christmas cards and struggling to upload documents with tiny little print I can barely read so that I can get the medical care I need without having to stop eating in order to do it. Then there is the 'simplification' project in which I make some matching robes and eliminate unnecessaries to reduce the obligation of choices - and the amount of daily laundry! When you stay in one place for 16 years, things tend to pile up which is, perhaps, the reason why Saint Anthony moved about so very many times.

Moving is no longer possible for me, however. Everyone's body gives out, in the end.

Another neighbor has died - this time, the man who lived on the second floor above me. Just a few days ago, I opened my door just as the attendants were putting his body into a long, low and very black unmarked station wagon of sorts. As they slid the gurney in, and the legs snapped into place, his feet, which had been wrapped with a white sheet, jiggled in a way that told me his spirit had left his body. I had JUST been thinking about getting his Christmas card into the mail. I wonder if people realize how many elderly people end up dying alone in their apartments? I have seen many of them in the 16 years I have lived here. 

Good night, everyone. Tomorrow is another day.

God bless us all

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

GO WITH THE FLOW - Remaining Flexible in Response to Life's Alterations - New Year's Resolutions

FIREPLACE DVD

ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS "CHEER"

(I use this charming DVD throughout Christmas. I can listen to

JUST the fire crackling, or I can add Christmas music in the back-

ground. It is wonderful fun.)

My last blog post anticipated a pause in my blog posting, with the intention to review how I wanted to operate and whether or not I would continue blogging at all.

I HAD anticipated more use of the Facebook platform's "NOTES" section, but just as I began to shift my blogging to that arena, Facebook suddenly and without notice eliminated the "notes" function and deleted all the notes I had written over the years, as part of their revamped platform that is, frankly, nearly useless because it doesn't accommodate anything but the most superficial of interactions.  I am not happy about this, but I do not intend to waste any time complaining about it. I just have to adjust to the flow of reality and change the plan.

There are certainly more changes ahead. I continue to mull over the idea of starting a new blog or perhaps a YouTube channel devoted to teaching meditation. While these projects remain in the back of my mind, rattling around as possible long term projects, it has come to my attention that my aspirations exceed my abilities. As I have become more and more physically compromised by my chronic illnesses (despite special diet, exercise and supplements) many projects have fallen by the wayside. I have lost the vision in my left eye. The right eye may be next. I am keen to finish the art projects that rely on my vision and that can be done with one eye.

Even simple cooking is something of a bygone pastime, in that I no longer am able to coordinate a complete "meal" that gets cooked in a coordinated way.  Typically, I will cook one casserole or other large item like a stir fry that I then separate into freezable containers, but it takes quite a bit of time to clean the kitchen afterward, something that I am not able to keep up with. I am embarrassed to admit that my kitchen is in chaos most of the time. During Covid, I don't have an attendant - so I do the best I can.

Yesterday, it took me all day to clean the kitchen and cook a very simple meal for Christmas. I had decided I would make a (very rare) complete meal and then send a plate to the next door neighbor who has Parkinson's Disease and recently broke her hip. I made a roasted turkey breast that I cooked on a platform of lemon rings, with olive oil and spices placed under the skin. I also cooked some cranberry sauce that came out too sweet. Last time, it was too sour. I'll get the recipe perfected, eventually. Baked potatoes and lovely steamed broccoli were the vegetable sides, and I made some yeast gravy that pairs surprisingly well with turkey. 

By the time the meal was made, I was in physical agony and could barely enjoy it, but my neighbor tells me it was delicious "comfort food." I'm glad she enjoyed it, but I believe it will be the last time I do any serious cooking - until my attendant comes back, at least

When the Covid virus is less of a problem and we've all had the vaccine, I will feel safe enough to get an attendant back in the house again. In the meantime, I struggle to cope with my physical "issues.")

As a contemplative, why should I have any projects at all? Some people imagine that contemplative monks and nuns just float around the hermitage all day, praying and meditating and sometimes singing, but that is rarely the case. Always, there is work in the life of monks and nuns. One needs some kind of meaningful work, as a human being. It is just the way we are made. Our bodies and brains need work in order to function properly. It is part of what we are intended to do. Even someone who is disabled, as I am, must do some sort of work, even if we are not able to perform the typical functions of a paying job. SOMETHING has to grab our attention and involve a sustained period of concentration for the sake of producing some end result.

It is so surprising to me when people on the right wing of things, politically, make the insistent assertion that there are people faking illnesses so they don't have to work. Most people I have met enjoy working. Even jobs that are unpleasant often have some aspects to them that are appealing. Work, in itself, is not a negative. It is my understanding that several mental illnesses masquerade as "laziness." Often, people who are depressed will avoid work. I try to be compassionate and understanding about these things - and I recommend doing so.

Logically speaking, it isn't possible to fake an illness to the point of disability because the Social Security Administration sends applicants to their own government-paid doctors. You cannot fake blood tests. You cannot fake x-rays and cat scans. It's not like the disabled person can present a letter from his doctor saying he is disabled, and that's the end of it! NO. That is not how it is done. Yet there are thousands of people asserting that this is, indeed, what is happening and that our disability rolls are overfull because of these fakers. There is no evidence for this - but it is a popular lament.

Probably the same people are asserting that our votes are fraudulent also. It seems to be a theme these days. It feels very much to me as if people are trying to justify their prejudices and bigotry with fanciful tales of people "faking" all sorts of things. Our current president has never liked it when our journalists report on activities that he wants to hide, so he calls them "fake news." I find it too convenient, and it feels manipulative to me, especially now that he is claiming, with no evidence whatsoever, that the election is fraudulent. How the Democrats are so remarkably skilled that they successfully committed fraud with the presidential elections but totally failed to falsify the down-ballot that is really more important, is just beyond me, and none of the people claiming voter fraud can explain it, including the President who, despite all the experts telling him that he LOST the election by 8 million votes, still insists that he won and he won big. People who know him say that he isn't lying. He actually believes he won the election, which is scarier than the idea that he is deliberately lying.

Looking into the future, I don't think we will ever be rid of Trumpism, as he has many more supporters than I imagined he would have after witnessing all his crimes, lies and despicable cruelty. More than 70 million people voted for him and, while I will fervently resist taking on board Trump's malignant brutish approach to living beings, I can't face off against 70 million people. Trumpism is the direction that almost half of our people have, inexplicably, decided to take. Included among them are the white supremacists, the neo-Nazis, the conspiracy theorists, and the gun fanatics. Trumpism will live because Trump is actually a follower. He didn't invent any of the platform he espouses. He is a follower of other extreme right wing personalities. His hate-filled rants are the same stuff I used to hear on talk radio when I was driving around Northern California 20 years ago. People think that California is all liberal, but that is not true.  Much of Northern California is reminiscent of The Deep South, as far as political leanings and prejudices are concerned. In fact, I believe this is the primary reason that California has undergone several serious attempts to split the state in half, between North and South - but even Southern California has a huge evangelical and right wing population. Orange County and Kern County are two that spring to mind immediately.

My goal is to detach my mind from political goings on as much as possible. For this reason, I remind myself constantly that, throughout history, people of God have lived under brutish regimes. Look at what Jesus and his people had to contend with! Aside from praying to GOD that the love of Christ find a home in everyone's heart, all I can really do is vote in a compassionate manner and publicly object against specific cruelties. I have resolved not to spend any more time on this than is absolutely necessary. Unless Trump follows through with his threat to declare martial law and take the presidency by force, which would be an actual coup against our government, I have resolved to turn my attention away from him as much as humanly possible. One of his criminal associates that he pardoned has been advocating for an overthrow of the government, and this frightened me for a couple days, but I don't believe there are enough people in the military who are willing to embark on a treasonous course of action. They're not allowed to follow illegal orders, and they all know it, therefore I intend not to worry about this.

What we DON'T want to do is become obsessed with our political situation, despite the fascination we may have from the shocking things that are going on. At least, this is not my particular vocation in life, and I would hope that anyone following a similar path would likewise rest their minds and hearts in the Lord, in imitation of the mystics who have gone before us. Remember that life will present difficulties, and then we will die. In fact, meditation on death is HIGHLY recommended - in the Christian faith AND other faiths, like some types of Buddhism.

My general New Year's Resolution is to continue to simplify my life, regulate my ascetic and spiritual disciplines, and purify the mind, more and more. The artistic projects are of lesser importance, but they represent some of those things I need to sweep out of my way in my quest for simplicity. In particular, the clothing project is on my mind. I have already given to the poor about a dozen trash bags of clothing that no longer fits me. When I finish making the dresses and purchasing and making a few ancillary items, I will have greatly streamlined a major aspect of daily life and even reduced the amount of laundry I have to do.

When I became disabled, people started giving me a lot of things and I sometimes find myself with piles of things I can't use, and I have to give them away. I have learned how to say "no" when I don't need something - but didn't learn it soon enough to keep my apartment from developing a bit of clutter. This year, one of the resolutions is to present a more serene environment to the gaze.

I am going to try not to add any more resolutions because I have already seen how much I tend to overload myself with projects - so I am going to leave it here, for now.

Blessings to all!

Silver Rose

Kaliprana

NEW DIRECTIONS

 

I have enjoyed writing my diary entries and publishing them here, but just like yesterdays newspaper that today is used to wrap the table scraps for disposal, this blog has grown stale. I have less news to share, as the days wear on, because I am doing nothing but meditating and praying, creating art works, and doing some housework on the side.

The book I began years ago has ALSO begun to accumulate some dust, and I am beginning to wonder if I have enough interest in it to finish it - but, more important, whether or not there is anything of sufficient value to put out into society.

Most pertinent, however, is the fact that I have lost most of my vision in my left eye. It is as if I am trying to gaze through a puddle of water. This makes it very difficult to see my work here. I am still able to type without looking at the keyboard, but peering at the computer screen has become a headache.

The time has come to order my life toward accommodating the loss of vision. Thanks be to God, I don't need my eyes to meditate or pray - but everything else has become more complicated.

It is possible I will start an entirely NEW blog with another focus. But I need to rest for a while first.

In the meantime, feel free to wander over to my Facebook page and we can chat there. If you have any meditation questions, I will be available for recommendations.

God bless us all.

Silver

Sannyasini Kaliprana

SAINT TANCA AND NATIONAL HANDBAG DAY

 

Today is one of those days on the calendar when the female saints are once again given short shrift. There is only one female saint among the handful of other saints and, as per usual, it is a young girl who died "protecting her virginity" and for whom that is all that is known except her name which, in this case, is Tanca. In fact, she is so obscure, I could not find a single painting pretending to represent her. So, the picture at the top of today's entry is of a really cute handbag, in celebration of National Handbag Day!

I would like to be able to say something wise or pithy about just why it is that there are so few women saints and why so many of the ones we DO know about died defending themselves from the importunities of men. I, myself, wish to know why - out of all the things that might be said about a person -THIS fact is what someone chose to remember about so many of these practically unknown saints.

Suddenly, I am reminded of how many times in my life men have taken credit for my creative process and my work. For instance:

When I was living in one of the Vedanta houses in Hollywood, just prior to joining the convent, I was put in charge of "All Gurus Day" which was sometimes known as "Fathers Day" and I did a huge amount of work, especially with my creation of a multi-media show. In addition to organizing and scripting the program, I created, completely from scratch, a beautiful slide show about the underlying influence of "The Unknown Saints among us," complete with a music score underneath it, which I linked to particular slides with the help of a machine that a borrowed from one of the Vedanta men who happened to have access to this equipment.

I wrote the script for this creation, engaged an actor, directed her voiceover performance, created the program for the other aspects of the event, and even created and printed the flyers advertising it. The theme for the show itself had been my creation. Indeed, the entire thing was my "baby."

It was a gorgeous show, very meaningful, with a peaceful vibe. It had been a huge amount of work over several weeks and I was happy with the result.

After the show was over, I was standing outside the temple next to the man from whom I had borrowed the equipment. As the audience came out of the temple, they automatically looked to HIM and congratulated HIM on the beautiful program! It was bad enough that these people gave this ancillary guy the credit, even though these people had SEEN me do the work, had all kinds of conversations with me about it, and to whom it should have been more than obvious who had created it. What really astonished me is that he took the credit, as if he HAD actually created it even though he did nothing! Incredible. I was so astonished, I just looked at him, wide-eyed, with my mouth agape, as one after another, people came out of the temple, turned to him, and praised him for the wonderful slide show. To this day, I am sure this guy, who did nothing but lend me some equipment, would tell you that he did it all.

Later, I created a Vedanta magazine that another man took from me, brought to a bunch of other men and it is being published to this day. Stealing the brainchild of a woman is nothing to them. It happens all the time.

This tendency of men to assume unto themselves all the credit for the work produced by, created by and inspired in the minds of women is infuriating. Humans have been civilized for thousands of years, yet the male of our species continues to act like the head of the chimpanzee troupe. Because men are typically physically stronger and bigger than the women, (and I suppose because of all the damn testosterone), they forcibly take all the prizes, earned or not, and then distribute the crumbs of the remainders to the women they automatically assume it is their right to dominate. It is one thing to be proud of one's own work, but to abrogate to oneself the creation of others is the height of arrogance - and this is more common than dirt.

If a woman dares to complain about any of this, she is fiercely admonished, her worth as a person attacked - and there are all sorts of derogatory names heaped on  her head. Men employ these mechanisms of shame to keep us in line because women WILL often hesitate to challenge the man when he takes the credit for her work. We are often more retiring and we hesitate to demand recognition. And we don't want to abase ourselves by whining about it. What was I going to say to those people who came out of the temple and thanked that guy for all the work I did? "Hey, congratulate me! I'm the one that did it!" How would THAT have sounded? Would I have had to have a fight outside the shrine of the Lord? No. It wasn't my temperament.

Coincidentally, in monastic life, I've noticed a decided propensity to lauding character traits that are more typical of traits that men possess over those of women. For instance, in the Hindu tradition, the giving up of jewelries and cosmetics is part of the process of taking sannyas - but since when are these things customary for a man to use in any case? The cutting off of all hair is another one of these rather convenient "sacrifices." Most men wear their hair short, and women tend to let theirs grow. A large percentage of men go bald as they age, something over which they have NO control. How convenient of them to attribute spiritual currency to the shaving of their heads! It costs a man next to nothing to shave his head, but in many societies it is considered a great humiliation (and is often meted out as a punishment) to cut the hair of a woman.

Likewise, women are usually more interested in the "nesting" aspects of life than men. Many of us are clever about equipping and decorating our homes. A great number of us have a bit of the Mary Poppins about us and carry a virtual drug store in our handbags, from which we dispense hand lotion, tissues, aspirins, combs, and a vast array of useful items for our families. 

So, when I notice that there are TONS more male saints than female saints, my experience with the male of the species tells me that THIS is not all there is to the story. I am quite sure that there are just as many female saints as there are male saints (maybe more), but the men push the women back into the corners and push themselves and their companions forward to take the praise and the prizes, which makes me far less interested in the male saints and also makes me suspicious of the wonderful characteristics attributed to them.

I could give several more examples of  how male traits are given all sorts of honorifics and feminine traits are disparaged, but I'm sure you don't need me to do that.

There are those who opine that monastic life isn't appropriate for women and there have even been some writers in the Eastern traditions who say that women who DO take up monastic life are really men after all. It's silly, I know, but I didn't create this situation. I mention this obscure text as another example of how it is assumed that being a man is so much better than being a woman. It is hogwash, of course.

I have to categorically state that I am not saying that all women are the same or that all men are the same or that the character traits I have attributed to some men or women apply to ALL men or women. I am not saying that. I would never say that sort of thing about any topic because there are ALWAYS exceptions that prove the rule in any topic concerning groups of people - in the same way I would never say that all Republicans feel, think, act and speak a certain way - or Democrats. Variety is not dead and we are not manufactured beings. I am just noting tendencies that occur in the vast number of cases - not all cases.

I'd love to say that I have a solution for all the societal ills to which I have alluded with regard to men taking all the credit and for pushing women down and so forth, but I don't. I have no idea what to do (if anything) about this situation. I'm just observing and reporting it.

But I do wish to say one thing. I would like to encourage women to avoid taking all the prejudicial treatment "on board." To whatever extent we are maligned and discounted, we owe it to ourselves to keep our hearts pure and unsullied by the negative traits assigned to us by the opposite sex. 

Hindu Holy Woman

In fact, this persistent degradation of women is so pervasive that women themselves will often malign others of their sex and perpetuate the negative stereotypes. I see this in the obsessional support Donald Trump has with a certain type of woman. They even look the same. Bleached blonde hair, false eyelashes, tight clothing, high heels, lots of makeup. I am not a psychiatrist, but I am sure a psychiatrist might have something to say about women who gush over a man who treats women like dirt, calls them vulgar names, and is especially hard on women who don't pump up the volume on their sex appeal.

So, I am winding back to "the unknown saints among us." I would like to send a message out to all my sisters in spirit. Please don't take it to heart. Don't buy into what the misogynists are saying about you. Remember that there are misogynists in BOTH camps and keep your own counsel. Don't pick yourself apart with self-loathing and bemoan how little like a man you are. True, we don't have a lot of role models to pattern ourselves after, but once you've done the best you can, take confidence in the fact that the Lord sees everything you do, say and think. He knows you in your innermost being and is acquainted with your best self. Hold onto that and ignore the constant slurs of an uneven, unfair and illogical society.

May we all be blessed.

Silver Rose

P.S. I was struggling before the pandemic hit. Now groceries are even more expensive than they were before, the dog needs to go to the vet for his yearly shots, my car has had no maintenance for several years, and the electric bill for a very hot summer was $200.00 EACH month! Please consider contributing to my Amazon donation list. They have my address and can mail to me directly.

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SAINT AUREA OF PARIS FEAST DAY - OCTOBER 4 - NOTES ON CONTEMPLATIVE MONASTIC LIFE

 

Relic of the saint in a decorative housing

Saint Aurea of Paris celebrates her feast day today, along with Saint Frances of Assisi and at least half a dozen other saints, all male, as far as I can tell. As you know, I am keen to make the female saints a bit better known than they are presently. Of course, there is only so much one can say about a saint for whom not much information has been passed down to us over time - not because they are any less saintly than other saints, no doubt, but because women just don't get much recognition in a church run entirely by men.

I used to make a joke out of this, saying that women are more naturally saintly, so that when a man lives a saintly life, that fact alone is a miracle! While humorous, I won't claim that it is true. I am just casting around for some reason besides the obvious - that women are not celebrated nearly as much as the men...for whatever reason.

Why does this matter? Everyone needs a source of inspiration, and I find nothing more inspiring than another woman living the Christian ideals most assiduously - especially monastic women, and CONTEMPLATIVES, since that is my path.

Saint Aurea of Paris

Of particular interest with regard to today's saint is that she died of the plague. Considering that we are currently beset with a modern day epidemic, we can certainly relate to what she must have been feeling, especially since 160 of her monastic sisters also died of it.

Saint Aurea was originally Syrian but relocated to Paris, France and was put in charge of St. Martial convent as Abbes by Saint Elegius in 633, where she ruled for 33 years (a number I find interesting because when our Lord died, HE was 33, I believe.)

Saint Elegius

(Sometimes called "Eloi")

I find Saint Elegius himself to be a most interesting person, having been a metalsmith, and this is an area that interests me. I am currently contemplating learning how to make punched tin frames for my religious paintings and am trying to calculate whether all the time and money will be worth doing it, since I have already lost the vision in my left eye and doctors anticipate that I will likely lose it in my right as well.

Saint Elegius was extremely gifted in many areas and is the patron saint of metalsmiths, craftspeople, horses, and is credited as a gifted spiritual teacher. Saint Godeberta was one of his pupils.

Interior of Saint Paul Saint Louis Church in Paris, France
Photo by David Iliff

License: CC BY-SA 3.0

The Saint Martial convent where Saint Aurea of Paris was Abess is no more. I offer you the following etching from 1850 which depicts a narrow impasse called the "Impasse Saint-Martial" which was all that remained of the Saint-Martial convent by 1850.

artist: 

Theodor Joseph Hubert Hoffbauer

(1839-1922)

It does make me a little sad to see how this convent that held such holy women, saints and martyrs to the faith, has just disappeared - eaten up, as it were, by the city of Paris. Over time, these holy institutions could not be maintained. In addition to the terrible EXPENSE, there is no longer the enthusiasm for it. The faithful don't feel inspired to support the monastic institutions as they once did because they no longer understand the absolute value of the spiritual work of men and women who have set themselves aside for the sole purpose of contemplation of the Divine and prayers for the faithful. Intercessory prayer isn't valued in the same way it once was.

In addition, from the other side of things, the monastics have been sullied by the corruption of a small number of priests who were predators of children, who snuck into the ranks of the holy ones, causing untold damage to innocents. The monolithic institution of "the church," in turn, did not deal with these predators in an appropriate way, which highlighted some degradation that had occurred in the church, over time.

You see, monastic life in the Christian tradition actually started out being mostly composed of independent hermit-type Christians who set themselves apart from society, initially going out into the dessert to live a penitential, solitary existence dedicated to prayer and ascetic practices. Later, hermits are found housing themselves in caves, such as in the fairy chimneys of Cappadocia, in present-day Turkey. In some countries, they retreated to the forest. 

Hot air balloons float over the caves of

former religious hermits

in the "fairy chimneys" of Cappadocia, Turkey

At times, a particularly holy person would attract followers who would cluster around them in their own hermitages. Various types of organization were employed. Things grew from there, and I suspect that at least a partial return to the earlier manifestation of independent monastics is more than due. The corruptions of monolithic institutions need to be addressed, at least in the West.

In the Catholic Church, the home of the Christian mystics and saints, there are STILL official "diocesan hermits" provided for in the canon, but it appears that the institution is loathe to confer that designation. As in other traditions, if you are willing to give a small fortune to The Church, it will quickly dispense with any impediment that it imagines for anyone else  who might approach it. Even so, as a Diocesan Hermit, you are not all that "independent" because every detail about your life has to be approved by the bishop. You can't blame them for wanting to be in control of anyone pretending to be a part of the official institution, though. Mentally unstable people are often attracted to extreme forms of religious expression, and it takes a lot of work to establish whether or not an individual is of sound mind. 

Hindu sannyasini - holy woman

at the Kumba Mehla celebration

There are many independent holy men and women who have taken sannyas in India. A great number belong to large institutions. Some merely belong to the tradition. My sannyas was an independent thing approved by my swami, who had hoped that I would open a Vedanta Center in Arizona, but which turned out to be more physically taxing than I would be able to endure. Plus, I would be living in what was, essentially, a very small but very public space that I would have to share with a male swami who would visit once every 4 to 6 weeks. The master bedroom was to be reserved for the visiting swami, and this reminder that I was to do all the work while the man got all the benefits was something I did not wish to revisit in my life.

It isn't that I don't like people, by the way. I like people too much, and it would have pulled my focus dangerously off-kilter. The swami knew this, however, and I don't think he was surprised when I ultimately declined his offer to open the center in Arizona. When I had left the Hollywood convent, he said to me, "who will smile at the devotees if you leave?" He knew my nature.

Hindu holy woman - Sannyasini (renunciate)

In American culture, the general lack of value placed on the contemplative path is unfortunate. Just the presence of a person who has dedicated themselves to this way of life has a positive effect on everyone who comes in contact with him or her. But I remember hearing from many of the devotees who frequented the Vedanta temple that there was a good deal of resentment against the monks and nuns because it appeared as if they lived a higher standard than the devotees. The devotees didn't have to live in close quarters under constant criticism and, while the housing appeared to be grand, it is well known in monastic circles that we could use all sorts of things but couldn't actually have anything. Bottom line? The grass is greener, as they say. (Personally, I was thrilled at the freedom that this granted me. It was a delight to only have 2 or 3 keys on my key ring and not to have to pay a single bill.)

Many people in my generation became enamored of the mystical, contemplative life of the Hindus that was made popular in the hippie era. What many of us did not know is that the Christian church has its OWN mystics that are just marvelous. There is nothing in the Christian Church that cannot be perceived through the meditative methods of Vedanta. God is ONE.

[NOTE: While I am  happy to look at Catholicism through the lens of Vedanta, some Hindus whose tradition I am co-opting by this are, at times, peeved by it. Out of respect for that point of view, I offer THIS LINK TO A "HINDUISM TODAY" ARTICLE about this topic. It appears to be mostly a problem for those in India who object to the perceived efforts on the part of the Catholic Church to convert Hindus to the faith by using their own images and traditions "against" them.]

Sign outside Bede Griffiths' Shantivanam Ashram

in India

Unfortunately, parish life in America, on the other hand, is rule-bound with little support for the contemplative perspective. Pedestrian matters of sex, family life, contraception and abortion grab most of the attention, unlike in the early days of the church. I pray that one day they strike a better balance.

It had been my intention, in the early days of my hermitage, that I would start a small Catholic ashram catering to like-minded people, but I was robbed of a promised inheritance that would have purchased the house, and my physical disabilities worsened and multiplied. It isn't out of the question for the future, but at 66 years old, I am fast running out of future. I DO hope that my writings encourage others to explore this life, however.

Like the Church of Saint Martial, which housed so many women and so much prayer then disappeared into nothingness, I am of a certain age when I contemplate my own demise and anticipate that I will likewise disappear without much fanfare. The prayer corner where I spend my hours speaking with the Lord will be partitioned and distributed among the faithful, a statue here, an icon there, a rosary somewhere else. None of these things are permanent. What IS permanent are my prayers and the vibrations of my conversations with and meditations on the Lord.

What I hope to leave behind is an appetite for the contemplative life, and it is my hope that other women will be inspired to live the vowed life at home, like their friend, the accidental hermit.

May we all be blessed!

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

P.S. Food has gotten more expensive during the Covid virus, on top of a food budget that was ALREADY very tight here. I've long ago reverted to a vegetarian diet, but would welcome some canned fish, if wild caught (mercury free.) There are other necessary items listed on my donation list on Amazon. They have my address and will mail to me direct. Check it out on my donation list, link below:

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