CORONA VIRUS HITS MY TOWN, AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Picture of the Corona Virus

Yesterday, one of my neighbors came home after an exhaustive search for groceries to stock the pantry in preparation for a self-imposed casual quarantine. She described the mayhem she encountered; the long lines, empty shelves and packed parking lot.

All my senior neighbors are assailed with various forms of auto-immune disorders, and they cannot afford to contract a dangerous virus on top of it. Even the "common" cold can devolve into uncommon, serious illness and possibly death.

Many of the folks that are on the low-income program in this apartment complex are single, disabled seniors living on whatever social security they've managed to accumulate after many years of working. Because we have spent a lifetime working and paying bills, we have paid "too much" into social security and now, although our income is very low ($1100 a month, on average) we fall between the cracks, when it comes to government help. We don't get any. No food stamps. No discounts on our utility bills. We get a small discount on our rent, through a city program, and that is IT.

I have tried to explain the reality of this situation to people who sincerely believe that all disabled people are sucking at the teat of the state. I had one wealthy woman tell me she believed that "the government" had to pay all my expenses, including the moving truck to get me from one apartment to another. Many people on social media have expressed the firm conviction that the disability rolls are besieged with massive fraud. They have no idea how terribly difficult it is to be accepted onto the disability program, but they don't let facts keep them from blabbing their theory widely. Their toxic ignorance is widespread.

We all know that we are supposed to be kind to the old and the sick, but if the extreme right wingers can claim we are not actually sick but are "faking it", then they will have an excuse for putting barriers up to anything that might help us. They applaud Trump's efforts to cut the food stamp rolls, which are already inadequate to meet the need.

The fact is that the U.S. does a very poor job of taking care of its disabled and elderly citizens and no one should be surprised that many of us have had to resort to begging by starting Go Fund Me campaigns and Amazon "wish lists" to make up the shortfall.

Widely available statistics, if anyone should decide to simply Google the facts, demonstrate that the U.S. pays far less to its seniors than other countries. We are number 25 on the chart, far below Netherlands, Denmark, Italy, The Slovak Republic (!), Greece, Latvia, Czech Republic, and KOREA. Check out this chart and the
 ARTICLE ON THE CENTER ON BUDGET AND POLICY PRIORITIES WEB PAGE

Ironically, because of our illnesses and allergies, our diets need to be a nutrient dense as possible. In addition, speaking for myself, I am terribly allergic to preservatives and pesticides. They cause me to have dangerous asthma attacks.

This may not sound like a big deal, but I was recently given some old yarn and, when I started crocheting with it, I suddenly could not breathe. This is why I don't typically accept yarn that has been opened and sitting in someone's house for a year or two or three. I rather like breathing.

Because of the asthma, the corona virus could be deadly for me.

When this Covid virus emergency settled in, and I started hearing about people deciding to "self-quarantine," I realized that I have NO "emergency" supplies at all. I already have trouble keeping food in my house for my monthly needs. This month, I had to buy eyeglasses, and the money had to come out of my food budget because I do not have discretionary income.

Now, here I am, very low on funds, unable to stand in the long lines at the grocery store, and needing to get some emergency supplies into the house. The other disabled ladies in my apartment complex are likewise situated.

Clearly, it is time to launch another Amazon food list.

My aim is to try to get enough supplies in the house to share among the other disabled senior ladies who live here. Amazon has my address and will ship to me direct. They always let me know when a parcel is coming, and I am typically home all the time anyway.

If you are able to help, we would all appreciate it.

AMAZON WISH LIST FOR FOOD

If you have any questions about this list or any preferences we might have, just leave a comment on this blog post OR send me a message on my Facebook messenger space.

TO GET TO MY FACEBOOK PAGE, CLICK HERE.

Thank you, in advance, for your help, and God bless. I will report on donations received in another post.

God bless us all - stay safe out there, people! And if you can stay home - do it!

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

BRAZEN LIARS

"The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in

people who are trustworthy."

Proverbs 12:22

America has become a nation of feckless, unrepentant liars who use deceit to manipulate other people into giving the liar something he or she wants. Usually, it is money or power or some derivation thereof.

No, this isn't a blog about Donald Trump, though it easily could be, because he is the most obvious and most prolific example of what I am talking about. (Currently, he is lying about the number of Americans stricken with the new "novel" corona virus, disputing the number reported by the scientists at the Center for Disease Control.)

No. I am making an observation about our culture, in general, and how low our moral personality, as a whole, has sunk. I will give you an example.

Tonight I received an email from Amazon, the title of which read:

 "Silver Parnell, here's a $5 credit toward your wish list title." 

In the body of the email, Amazon names the book which is supposedly on my wish list, and I do not recognize it. I have quite a few wish lists, so I look through all of them, on the off chance that I have accidentally put this particular book on one of them. I have a habit of falling asleep at the computer, and I posited that it might be possible that I inadvertently added it somehow, while dozing off, but no. There is no such book anywhere on any of my lists.

"For, whoever would love life and see good days

must keep their tongue from evil and their lips

from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil

and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it."

1 Peter 3:10-11

So, I call Amazon and ask them what the heck is going on and why have they sent me this weird email. I am concerned that they may have confused me with someone ELSE and have mixed up my account with someone else's account, which would be disastrous, since we all have our banking information saved with Amazon.

The first rep keeps trying to guess at what might have happened. I keep telling him to stop guessing and let me speak to somebody who knows. He keeps putting me on hold. 16 minutes later, I insist that he let me speak to someone else. He says he will, but he keeps talking and he keeps guessing. I am getting more and more concerned because his English isn't good and he is wandering all over the topic. I keep asking him to let me just talk to someone who knows rather than him, because he is just speculating. I can speculate also, but that isn't what I want!

"You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to

carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from

the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no

truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language,

for he is a liar and the father of lies."

John 8:44

Finally, he says, "who do you want to talk to? You have to give me the name of a person, otherwise I can't transfer you." Apparently, I am supposed to have such magnificent psychic abilities that I can simply pull a name out of my transcendent clairvoyant brain. Of course, I recognize this for what it is - a delaying tactic of someone who does not want me talking to his supervisor. I suggest he just connect me to whoever can answer this question for me, so he tells me I need to tell HIM the name of the person or the department!

Really aggravated at this point, I point out to him, again, that I am not psychic. He is supposed to tell ME the department or the person who can answer this question. After all, the email came from Amazon, not from me - but he just mumbles and bumbles around and will not. Finally, I am fed up and demand to speak to his supervisor. I've been on the phone for 26 minutes and counting.

The supervisor speaks English really well and comprehends my concern immediately. She admits that this email is really weird, but she seems to know who to talk to about it, so she puts me on a brief hold, then connects me with someone named "John" who will explain it to me.

35 minutes on the phone, and counting.

After a short conversation with John, he informs me that the email I received is a "legitimate offer." Apparently, someone at Amazon decided they would be clever and send me an email in which they try to make it look like they were giving me something I supposedly wanted, by lying and saying that this book they are flogging is something on MY wish list. Except that it isn't. It is all just a big fecking lie. THEY want to sell this book and they don't mind lying to manipulate me and whoever else to whom they've sent these fake emails.

When I object to this underhanded, unscrupulous and really reprehensible fabrication, John behaves as if I am being unreasonable. He sighs and explains, again, in the tone that one uses with someone less intelligent than oneself, that it IS a "legitimate" offer. They really ARE giving me a five dollar credit toward the purchase of this book - so it isn't "fake." It is a real offer.

I object, again, to the lie that the book is supposedly on my wish list and, like Mick Mulvaney trying to defend Donald Trump's insidious mendacity, "John" repeats that it is "a legitimate offer," as if the lie is completely irrelevant and I am being really stupid for objecting to it.

39 minutes and I am done.

"In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in

Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evildoers and

impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and

being deceived."

2 Tim 3:12-13

Yesterday I was supposed to receive a Sunday parcel from Amazon of an order I had placed a few days previously. Amazon sent me confirming emails that the U.S. Postal Service would be delivering it on Sunday. The Postal Service itself gave me a running commentary, via email, about the whereabouts of the package, in each leg of its journey from Amazon to me, but what happened is what always happens when the Amazon packages are supposed to be delivered on a Sunday. The postal carrier lies and says they can't get into the building. What has actually happened is that they are too lazy to be bothered to find the apartment. So they lie.

I could write a blog post every day and call it "the lie of the day" and have no trouble writing a story about the latest lie.

There was a time, not so long ago, that no one wanted to be caught telling a lie. There was a time when it would embarrass just about everyone who was caught in a lie. Fervent excuses (and perhaps more lies) would be piled onto the original lie in which they had been caught. No one wanted to be known as a liar.

"Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but

afterward his mouth will be full of gravel."

Proverbs 20:17

Nowadays, however, many Americans brazenly lie and then gaslight anyone who objects. Americans now stand by their lies and defend them with bizarre, twisted logic, like Kellyanne Conway and her "alternative facts."

It makes me really sad and sometimes mad, to be lied to on a consistent basis, by friends, family, neighbors, merchants, and that freakish carnival barker and his outlandish companions who somehow found their way onto The Hill and who behave as if a lie repeated often enough becomes the truth, as if by magic.

"Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and

harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously,

believe him not, for there are seven abominations in

his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception,

his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly."

Proverbs 26:24-26

Many of these people who are lying to me and to you and to the rest of the American people are claiming to be Christian. Christians love Jesus, and Jesus tell us that those who love him follow his commandments. You just can't deliberately lie and mislead people and con people over and over again and, at the same time, pretend to be shining the reflected glory of the light of Christ. You just can't.

And, as a merchant, you can't continually express the mawkish sentimentality of pretending to care for the welfare of your "Amazon Prime" members while trying to dupe them at the same time. You just can't.

"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy

and empty deceit, according to human tradition,

according to the elemental spirits of the world, and

not according to Christ."

Colossians 2:8

While it is fairly clear that I find it upsetting to be lied to so frequently (and in such a adolescent and transparent manner), what I find most sad is that none of these liars will experience the bliss of being in union with the Lord if they keep up this deliberately deceptive lifestyle. And it IS a lifestyle when lies are routinely employed by a person as a method of getting what they want from others.

Living in harmony with the Lord means you are living a heaven on earth. The Kingdom of God is among you - if your soul is submerged in the love that is God.

Tonight I am praying for all the liars of the world. I pray they stop the lies, the schemes and the cons. I don't need to name them. They know who they are. But I DO pray for them, by name, here in my little hermitage, not only because I find it annoying to be lied to but because I want the entire world to be able to experience the transcendent, gorgeous love of God, and they can't until they stop lying.


God save us all.

Silver "Rose"
Sannyasini Kaliprana

EMBRACE THE HAT

My 20th cousin, 5 times removed

She wears hats very well.

(Queen Elizabeth II of England)

I have a wonderful neighbor with a very loving disposition, who is a follower of a philosophy I call "cosmic poo poo." Whenever I let slip the words, "when I lose my vision entirely" or something to that effect, she jumps right on me. She believes (and many do) that people create the world with their minds. While I agree that the attitude with which you respond to events can have a bearing on how it turns out, I don't believe in the simplistic causal relationship between my mind and everything that swirls around me. I LOVE life, I have many artistic and creative projects in the hopper, and I fully intend never to die, for instance, but I have a feeling that, no matter how consistently I affirm that idea, I will die one day.

In my personal approach to life, I recognize that the world does not revolve around me. There are other people and groups of people and systems of operation, and corporations that also have intentions that produce effects upon us all. Humans rub up against one another and act upon one another and cause things to happen to and around one another that may not be what the recipient imagined for themselves.

Designer Carolina Herrera's hat 

Fall season, 2010

My version of "having a positive attitude" requires me to be plastic, flexible and a bit bouncy in my response to stressors. My aim is to greet them with as much of a happy attitude as possible because, no matter how many times I might click my enchanted shoes together and repeat some voo doo formula, my problems do not magically disappear - which is not to say that I do not believe in miracles. I most certainly DO believe in miracles, but I know that miracles are caused by the will of God and not my own mind.

Obviously, I am not speaking from the vantage point of the higher reaches of unitive thought in which I am one with my God, but I would just remind you that one only reaches such oneness by abandoning the individuality that would keep one apart from deity to begin with - so it is STILL the Lord who wills the miracle into being, and not ourselves. To claim that "I" can will the world to obey me is obviously a false claim - which is why I call this idea "the cosmic poo-poo."

Just click your heels together and say:

"There's no place like home - There's no place like home..."

I have noticed that many people who are convinced that the cosmic poo-poo philosophy has worked for them are usually those people who have egos that refuse to acknowledge the help they've received from outside themselves. Often, they have hidden or ignored resources in the form of other people, such as devoted family members, or they have been in the right place at the right time to be the recipient of the world's largesse. Donald Trump's father gave him $400 MILLION dollars to start himself out in life, and, because Trump knows he did not earn his wealthy status, he has spent his entire life in a pathetic string of self-promotions, even going so far as to create phony magazine covers that he blew up and installed on the walls of his business property. He never credits his father for his wealth.

The fact is that while most people work very hard in their lives, not everyone "pulls themselves up by their bootstraps" to become a millionaire or a best-selling widget maker or a musician or...whatever. It simply is not possible for everyone to get there, through hard work or "positive thinking" (cosmic poo-poo.) My position is that you probably can't succeed without confidence and hard work but very few people in possession of those attributes actually find that it works for them in the ultimate sense, absent other factors. People who work very hard, whose jobs involve physical labor, like cleaning houses, for instance, can work 60 hours a week and never take a day off and will never, ever become millionaires. I was a legal secretary for many years, and a very good one - but the only person who got rich was my boss, who had a house in Beverly Hills, while I could barely afford a run-down apartment in Hollywood.

Given all this, when the doctors told me a few years ago, that I have macular degeneration that will gradually destroy my vision, and that it is important to eat the Mediterranean diet, take the scientifically tested vitamins, and protect my eyes from the sun by wearing hats and sunglasses every day whenever I go outside, I followed all of these prescriptions. I didn't sit down and start reciting spellbinding formulas like, "my vision is perfect" or whatever the cosmic poo-poo people say I should do in order to manipulate the world.

I can't say that my prayer life changed at all either because my attention is typically with God all the time, as a matter of course. The thing that is most important to me is to be immersed in God consciousness and to trust That. But I am not an automaton. I have human fears and apprehensions because I am still rather attached to this wonderful world, but I am working on releasing undue attachment, rather than expending useless energy trying to will the world to accommodate me.

One the other hand, we would not be here, in this world, if it had no value. The Lord has put us here for some reason and, I am sorry but no one really knows what the reason is, so we have to trust that "something good is going on," as the swami once said, and proceed accordingly.

Instead of greeting the necessity of wearing hats as a sad reminder of a frightening prognosis or a descent into unfashionable "old lady" territory, I embrace it and turn it into something fun. I have several hats in different colors that I regularly decorate with beaded bands that I make, or inexpensive sparkly little pins. I admit it isn't "nunnish" but I have no uniform to which I must conform, and no superior to whom I will answer for my silly hats. If my prescription eyewear wasn't so darn expensive, I might resort to some outlandish style with those as well. Perhaps, in that case, it is best that I am too poor for it.

I don't think many people in my town wear hats - so wearing any hat at all makes me an object of attention, which I typically do not want. As I write this, I am trying to remember seeing anyone wearing a hat in the last 20 years, and I can only think of one person who wears an actual hat with a  proper brim, and that was one of my neighbors who works in the entertainment industry. I can't even recall seeing anyone wearing a baseball cap, though I am sure there must be a segment of the population who wears them to sporting events. Oddly enough, there IS a man's hat shop here in town, so there must be some call for it. Perhaps the gentlemen are saving their hats for when they ride into Santa Fe. Who knows?

Here, we see that we can mix two interests in one:

fashionable hats and gardening.

Obviously, I am going rather far afield to make an elementary point. The world does not revolve around each one of us. It simply can't, and it isn't meant to. Our much vaunted "American individuality" gives the mistaken idea to many of us that we are in charge of more than what is within our bailiwick. We are not in charge of what others do to us. We are only in charge of what we actively do and how we greet what happens to us. I recommend that we not only "accept" our bad fortune, but find a way to also embrace it and celebrate some part of it, if we can.

Now, I must close because I have a cane waiting for me to decorate.

God bless us all

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

SAINT OLYMPIAS AND ME

Saint Olympias

"Olympias the Deaconess"

born between 361 and 368 in Antioch or Constantinople

died July 25, 408 in Nicomedia

Today we celebrate the feast day of another shirttail relation of mine, Saint Olympias (the younger) an early deaconess of the church. If the early saints are not actual relatives of mine, they all seemed to know my relations and interact with them. In this case, Saint Olympias (the younger), daughter of an Antiochian Greek noblewoman, Alexandra and her husband, the wealthy Greek Seleucus. She was named after her paternal Aunt Olympias who was once engaged to Roman Emperor Constans, who was the uncle of the wife of my 48th great-uncle. Did you get that? (My Ancestry family tree automatically figures out relationships, thanks be to God, because I never could!)

Constans

Augustus of the Western Roman Empire

born 323

died February 350

When Olympias was orphaned as a child, her fortune was put into trust. She was raised by prominent people in the Roman world until such time as she may accept a husband. As with all women in possession of great fortunes in that day, she received many proposals of marriage. Typically, the man would then have control over her money, and it is no wonder that these women were extraordinarily picky when it came to accepting any one of them as husband, because the husband would rule over her and spend her money according to his desires. It was an incentive for celibacy and religious life!

She eventually married the prefect Nebridus, who died not long after that. Subsequently, my great grandfather, Emperor Theodosius, put her fortune in trust, once again, until the arbitrary age of 30, probably in retaliation against her. She had rejected his choice of second husband for her. I suppose he thought she must be mad to defy his guidance. What a frustrating time for women!

Theodosius I "The Great"

Emperor of the Roman Empire

born Jan. 11, 347

died Jan. 17, 395

My 47th great-grandfather

When she finally got her full estate in the year 391, she began her spiritual works of mercy in earnest. She was consecrated a deaconess and founded a community of religious women with several other monied ladies. She established a hospital and an orphanage, gave considerable assistance to the monks of Nitria, and was a strong supporter of Saint John Chrysostom after he was expelled in 404 from Constantinople. (He had become her spiritual director in about 398, six years previously.)

Statue of Saint Olympius - 

On the facade of Saint Peter's Basilica

Because of her support of Chrysostom, her community was disbanded and her charitable works were prohibited. As usual, power hungry men, whose method of ruling was basically force and punishment for everyone who came within their orbit, persecuted her for the rest of her days.

She was sick and alone at the end of her life, her friend Chrysostom in exile in another place from which he encouraged and comforted her. She died in Nicomedia July 25, 408, less than a year after the death of Chrysostom.

Saint John Chrystostom

Friend of Saint Olympias

This story sounds so very familiar to me! I have compared notes with other independent religious women and all of us have plans for religious institutions and charitable projects, should money ever fall into our hands. All of us have succumbed to societal and survival pressures for husbands, who STILL, in this day and age, want to spend our money on obscenities like booze, guns, pornography and mistresses. After working an entire lifetime with nothing to show for it, I have something to say about the disparity of income between men and women, the need for equal pay and equal protection under the law and the inherent immorality of men asserting dominion over women in any sphere, including religious.

Brutal, money-hungry despots still prowl the world, using force and deception to gain power over others, especially women, who they publicly malign and despise, but regardless of the power and supposed "prestige" they manage to accrue, history will record their shame.

I am thinking of Donald Trump and his enablers while I write this. I am thinking about his crimes, his immorality, his ethical bankruptcy, his misogyny, his xenophobia and his other prejudices that are the antithesis of the Christian way. I am thinking of how he used so-called "charities" to line his pockets and fund his campaign for power.

I am thinking, especially, of how he ripped babies, toddlers and children from the arms of their parents and stuffed them into small cells behind chain-link fences to sleep on cement floors with little or no medical care and how thousands of them may never see those parents again because he and his minions did not see the necessity to keep track of their whereabouts. I am thinking of the babies that he let die from the flu because they were denied simple flu shots, and the crowded conditions did his dirty work for him. Just like the blankets infected by small pox that were given to the Native Americans in the early days of America.

These type of men have always been with us - whether you call them "Prefect Optatus," "Emperor Theodosius" or "President Trump," they are all the same. Their reigns are short, but human memory is long and tends to regard the saintly with a kindly eye while itt records the names and supposed "accomplishments" of tyrants and oppressors with disdain.

To whom will you attach your wagon?

I, for one, am on the side of the saints. Not Prefect Optatus. Not Emperor Theodosius. Not Donald Trump.

God save us all from the tyrants.

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

WALKING MEDITATION

I am feeling very grateful today for the many habits and techniques of seeking God consciousness that I learned from the Eastern traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism.

With apologies to the respected spiritual teachers of those many traditions, it is my experience that walking meditation is one of those things that can easily be adopted and adapted to the needs of spiritual seekers of all faiths.

There is only one ultimate creator God or original cause of the universe. However you envision Him/Her/It or even if, for you, there is nothing but emptiness, whatever your tradition or practice at the moment, walking meditation, and other types of meditation combined with movement, is something we can all do with great benefit.

Sufi Dancers

Famously, the Sufis have their highly ritualistic ecstatic dances, and Brother Lawrence used to say that he was as much with God, while washing his pots and pans, as he would be while singing in the choir stall, which was considered a high status activity.

Brother Lawrence

among his pots and pans, in the kitchen

Granted, the higher reaches of ecstatic union with God, such as what the saints, sages and mystics have experienced and described, would probably be a challenge, in concert with walking or other activity, but it is probably fair to say that, for most of us, these high ecstatic states are not a daily occurrence, nor a constant one, when they do arise.

Saint Theresa of Avilla,

in ecstatic union with Christ

- statue closeup -

Lately, I am particularly recommending "walking meditation" to all my disabled and elderly friends, partly because it takes us much longer to accomplish our daily tasks than it did when we were younger and/or more fit and healthy, thus challenging us to find the lengthy periods of uninterrupted meditation while sitting in our schedule.

For myself, as a quasi-hermit on a very limited budget, operating a body that has started to deteriorate, I find that, when I previously waited for a break in my daily tasks in order to meditate in a formal way, there were some days when very little was possible. Doctor appointments, cooking, cleaning, dog walking, ate up my time, while the silence I would prefer was also eaten by other beings in their quest to accomplish their life goals.

"Busy Street Scene"

by Phill Burrows

Living in an apartment community with more than 100 other beings, on a main thoroughfare through town, is not particularly conducive to quiet meditation! I long ago gave up trying to create an oasis in my apartment. Instead, I am working within the noise and the chaos.

I realized, at some point in my journey through pain and disability, that the purpose for spiritual "practices" was, at least in part, to train the mind and body to always be aware of its at-one-ment with the Lord. Formal sitting meditation practice is just that - practice! It isn't the goal. It is A practice for the real thing - continuous God consciousness: the state of awareness of continual connection and identification with Deity (or "original cause" or whatever your tradition / understanding / language provides.)

Jesus meditating in the forest

Those who are unfamiliar with walking meditation are encouraged to do some reading about it, look for local sources of information, watch some videos, hear some talks, and then seek out a venue for the practice of this valuable technique. If you were here with me, I could train you, and I suppose I could write more detail about it in this blog, but why reinvent the wheel? Others have already done this far better than I could.

I will tell you that sometimes I use what is called a "mantra." My favorite is the "Jesus Prayer" sometimes called "centering prayer" I believe:

"Lord, Jesus Christ, son of God,

have mercy upon me, a poor sinner."

You could even just say "Lord" or "Jesus" or something similar. In the Hindu faith, there are a lot of considerations about this mantra, as in the Buddhist zen tradition, that it should be transmitted to the student by an ascended master or guru, but we do not have this tradition, per se, in Catholicism. In any case, let's not let perfection become the enemy of the good by drawing too many demands around this practice, as much could be lost if one felt that contemplation or meditation was essentially impossible without the presence of some elevated teacher-saint to "give" you a magic pill that would open your heart, etc. Once you start along this path, a teacher does sometimes appear, but don't worry about that right now. Just get started.

The addition of a mantra, recited interiorly, is typically what I do when I am having trouble focusing. Usually, I just put my consciousness at the feet of the Lord and hang onto that while I perform whatever household function or life task I have to perform at the moment. If you are new to meditation, you'll want to start with mantra. Eventually, this drops away of its own accord.

Granted, there are times when your full attention is required and you just can't hold God's hand while you do it: important conversations that carry crucial information, that sort of thing, but if you expand your concept of meditation to include a lot of your daily tasks, you will be surprised at how much peace and blessedness this will introduce to your life.

Anyway, I am finding the walking meditation very helpful these days. Also the dish washing meditation, dog walking meditation, grocery shopping meditation and painting meditation. You get the drift.

Old Woman Meditating on the Scriptures

by Gabriel Metsu

If this sort of meditation is a new thing for you, please feel free to write me and tell me about it. I may be able to answer some questions, but I recommend you get a local teacher, if a teacher is what you are looking for.

Primarily, I am writing this to encourage you to give walking meditation a try. I know that I personally experienced some frustration when I found that my life circumstances continually prevented me from enjoying a quiet, meditative life, and I got a lot of benefit from falling back on my training in walking meditation. I had to learn to embrace the reality of my situation and adapt. After many years of formal meditation practice, I found the transition seamless. You can also!

God bless us all.

Silver

YOU ARE ENOUGH

It occurs to me that I should leave a message on the occasion of this auspicious birthday.

I want to encourage spiritual seekers of all paths. Spiritual disciplines challenge us and we sometimes feel we are not up to it. Sometimes we might judge ourselves harshly. Put that aside. Remember that, regardless of what others see in us and interpret as 'defects' cannot keep us from experiencing the "kingdom of heaven" among us, provided we actually want that experience. Do you want it?

As you know, I have practiced several traditions of meditation, prayer, and disciplines. I have found a harmony of purpose and practice among most of them. If I were to synthesize the most significant idea of practice, it would be this: Train your attention on the Divine. Call it God or Ultimate Truth or Divine Love, or whatever you like. Throughout your daily life, in practice and outside of practice, rest your mind with the Divine.

When you wash the dishes, wash them in concert with Divine Love. Just be aware that the Lord is with you, and you are washing the dishes together. Simple. When your mind wanders, bring your attention back quietly, without the fanfare of frustration. We will never have perfect practice, so it is not helpful to pretend that we "should" and to then get mad at ourselves for our shortcomings. Your method of bringing the mind back is as important as the serenity experienced when the mind is where you intend it to be.

It will help you in meditation and prayer if you maintain this mindfulness practice throughout your waking hours. Catholics who pray the rosary, for instance, may find greater ease in attending to the meanings of the prayers recited on each bead, and they may experience an increase in the perception of the Divine Presence. (Keep in mind that God is not more with us at this time than at any other. It is only our awareness that has changed. We are not bringing God to ourselves. We are opening our consciousness to what is already "right in front of our noses," so to speak.)

You could credibly spend a lifetime on this practice alone, so I will leave you with the two ideas. (1) You are enough. That is, if you want the experience of God, you have everything you need to do that; and (2) rest your mind on the Divine gently, with serenity and confidence.

Silver Rose
"Sannyasini Kaliprana"

A BIG BIRTHDAY APPROACHES

In this photo, I am obviously a little toddler.
I used to love talking on the phone - for many

years, actually - but in my old age, I would

rather pray.

I am turning 65 years old this week, and my thoughts naturally turn to a review of my life and of life in general, which is looking much more fraught with difficulties than I'd imagined for my golden years.

I am about 3 or 4 in this picture. I LOVED my rocking horse,

and I later became an expert horse woman.

~~~

At the same time, I have been watching an Amazon miniseries, The Man in the High Castle, and throughout this dystopian vision of an America that LOST World War II and became subservient to both the Germans and the Japanese, there are references to the casual, matter-of-fact incarceration and euthanasia of disabled people, which hits far too close to home for comfort, as you can imagine. In one scene, a surprisingly sympathetic Nazi chief is faced with his teenage son's sudden diagnosis of some wasting disease and the prescribed euthanasia he is expected to perform himself. The doctor is matter-of-fact about the whole thing. This is what one does to the disabled when the prejudices against people become institutionalized. It is a fearsome warning of the future.

I am 6  years old in this picture, hunting for Easter

Eggs at my Grandmother's house in Auburn. I think

we were staying with her while our parents fought

over their divorce.

~~~

You know why, of course! I was reminded of Donald Trump's very vocal prejudices and how he mocked the jerky motions of a disabled journalist, as well as the fat body of one of his supporters. Unattractive women are regularly disparaged and maligned with his filthy language. You will remember the clerk at Smith's Grocery Store on Constitution and Carlisle telling me that he "believes in Trump's law" and that, because I didn't have two arms cut off or two legs cut off, I wasn't really disabled and did not deserve to use my handicap placard. I had hoped that by the time I reached this distinguished old age, the world would have improved, but in Trump's transactional world view, America is a land where very few of us have any value.

I am somewhere between 7 and 9 in this photo.

~~~

Earlier this week, I saw a special edition of "Carpool Karaoke" with James Corden and special guest Paul McCartney, and I was struck, once again, by the love and positivity that radiated from all those old Beatles songs, and which characterized my world view when young. I had anticipated a better world, a kinder world. I thought that by the time I reached this age, the arc of the moral universe that Martin Luther King Jr. referenced would have bent a little bit closer to justice than it has. I remember when he was assassinated. It was an omen of times to come, apparently. Anyone who preaches radical love and forgiveness is the enemy of the powerful and wealthy.

My graduation picture. I was only 16, but

graduated high school a year early.

Note the peace sign around my neck!

I have always been committed to peace.

~~~

Just yesterday, an old man in a giant red truck deliberately smashed into the bumper of my car in a shocking display of parking lot rage. I had gotten into the drive-through line before he was even in the parking lot, but he evidently had his eye on that spot in line, so he rammed my car with his giant bumper and kept ramming it until I called the police. Here I was, a single old woman in a battered 23 year-old car with one window missing, and all kinds of religious bumper stickers on the back end. I was obviously harmless, which is likely the point. When the police officer asked me what the man looked like, I turned to see a short old man whose head barely came up over the dash board.

This was my prom picture. I think it was the junior

prom. I took my junior and senior classes in one year.

That was Chris, with his arm around my waist. (He

was a very nice young man. I always wondered what

happened to him.)

Yes, I had hoped for more progress on the peace front, but, instead, the monetization of people has gotten worse. Prejudice, bigotry, xenophobia and misogyny have grown worse. Cruelty abounds. Free floating rage is endemic.

My son was about 2 or 3 in this picture.

He died when he was 40 from a combination of things.

Diabetes, alcoholism, drug addiction.

Very sad.

~~~

Of course, Trump didn't start the monetization of people as commodities. He is just coarser and more blatant about it than others.  Human beings have long looked down on poor people, people of color, old people, the fat, the disabled and the frail. I have experienced considerable discrimination and cruelty as a large woman with big feet and eyeglasses. There was a continual drumbeat of insistence that I conform to the visual image that others wanted me to present so that I would please them. During my fat years I was tormented horribly. I was a bit thin between the ages of 16 and 24, but I STILL got comments from people that I would be pretty if I lost even more weight. Did they want me to disappear altogether? Maybe that is the point.

We like our women to waste away. We hobble them with high heels and ridiculous tight fashions that keep them bound up. In personality also, I noticed that the weak, passive,  female voice was preferred. No loud mouths, please! We want our women to be subservient. In movies, no matter how smart the woman, she always ends up weeping when the going gets tough - needing to be rescued because she is just so frail and tender. Then, when one is old and is REALLY frail and tender, the world has no use for us.

After the whole Nixon debacle, I was under the mistaken impression that our government was fine enough and good enough to eliminate any bad egg that might come along. I mistakenly thought that we were safe and that no president would dare to be so corrupt. The current occupant of the Oval Office is far worse than Nixon. Not only that, but the Republican Party has become infected with his love of power and is making his reign even worse. They enable him. It is horrifying. And I really didn't expect it.

This as taken about 1975 in San Francisco. I was with my

grandmother, and we were eating at my favorite restaurant.

~~~

My son was about 6 in the above picture. He and

I were meeting my father at a favorite restaurant

on Melrose Avenue in Hollywood.

~~~

The class structure that displaces so many categories of people is taken for granted by the privileged. For instance, when your birthday approaches, Facebook asks you what charity you would like your friends to support instead of sending you a present. People who don't have difficulty stocking the refrigerator probably welcome the opportunity to deflect unnecessary monies to those poor wretched people over there somewhere. It makes them feel good.

My friend, Richard Desiato, took a series of photos

for an anticipated foray into acting. I decided against

it, but the photos were grand.

~~~

The media and social platforms never speak to poor people. Forty million Americans are routinely ignored, not from some deliberate effort to exclude them but because the subconscious, underlying assumption is that they are not part of the audience. Only people with money constitute the audience. Why? Everything is monetized: poor people have no worth because all worth is determined by personal resources that may be useful to other people. Youth, beauty, wealth, power, connections - all have their perceived value. If you possess something that someone else may want, then you have value.

I was about 32 in this picture, enjoying the company of

my guru, Swami Swahananda. This was when I became

very serious about my spiritual journey and joined

the Vedanta Convent in Hollywood.

~~~

This picture was taken just before I joined the Hollywood

Vedanta Convent. My father was in the background, but

he is cut out of the photo.

~~~

Americans find many ways to discount the plight of the poor by claiming they are not poor at all. Either we have too much stuff, or we are not poor unless we are the poorest on the planet. We are required to appear to be poor to the casual observer, but since we live in an affluent culture, American poor people are often the recipients of castoffs from those who are better off. Consequently, we do not fit the mental image of what poor people are "supposed" to look like. My pink leather couch is a perfect example.

This was about 1994, when I moved back to Northern California

for a while. My health wasn't great, and I was having trouble

supporting myself. Salaries being offered were much lower

than in years past.

~~~

These are my sannyas pictures from 2003. My knees had

given out on me, exercise wasn't possible, and I packed on

the weight really fast. Later, I took much of it off.

~~~

I have a 40 year-old pink leather couch that was given to me by a fellow parishioner. A leather couch is considered to be a luxury item, but it is not even possible to sell the damn thing, even if I wanted to. I can not safely invite strangers to come into the apartment of a disabled, single senior lady and risk being robbed or killed. In the alternative, where should I sell it and how could I transport it there? And, after paying for transport, when I get my $100 for the darn thing, will I be able to buy a couch to replace it? No, of course not. I would have to buy someone else's old couch, and it won't be as suitable as the hand-me-down 35 year-old pink one that I have and that I love.

The famous pink couch.

This was in about 2015

~~~

But that pink couch that some may cite as proof of my fabulous wealth doesn't pay for dental work, which Medicare does not cover and costs thousands of dollars. All of your grandmas and grandpas are worried about their teeth because the average monthly income for each of us is about $1,000 a month! When dental work will cost three times a person's monthly income, what are they supposed to do? 3/4 of seniors have serious dental needs by the time they retire. Only the bottom third of poor people qualify for Medicaid, which pays for certain TYPES of dental work. Basically, it will pay to have your teeth removed. That is it. They may help with dentures after all your teeth have been lost.

This was about 2014, 2015.

The weight is starting to come off, bit by bit.

~~~

Another popular idea is most of the 40 million poor people are crooks with larcenous hearts and drug and alcohol addictions. This is a lie. There are no more drug addictions among the poor than among the middle class and wealthy.  The wealthy do a better job of hiding it.

If you have inherited a smart phone and if you have been given a computer, then you are likewise told you are not poor - but neither of those things would pay for that $3,000 dental work.

Facebook became my friend in my years at home after disability.

Being an artist at heart, I loved playing with the photo frames!

~~~

Compare this situation with what happens in all the other industrialized countries, and one has to wonder WHY, exactly, the richest country in the world cannot do what all the other industrialized countries do, despite those countries having far less wealth overall. Our corporations make gigantic profits. American corporate executives make 400 times what the average worker makes. Our entire system is designed to keep millions of us poor and a few people at the very top rich beyond the wildest dreams.

As I approach my 65th birthday this week, my sympathy for my brothers and sisters who belong to this HUGE class of people has been increased. I have a depth of understanding for what seniors, the disabled and the working poor are enduring because I am experiencing it myself.

This is me at age 60. Disabled for 10 years, but still

SMILING.

~~~

As a nation, we need some honesty and integrity to return to the political and social discourse. Prejudice against the poor and vulnerable is just one of the popular lies that is being employed by the wealthy to justify their own criminal, selfish intentions. If we do not turn this trend around, we will end up in a very bad place. Those of us with a serious spiritual life must remember that the bulk of Jesus' message was in favor of the poor. It is harder for the rich man to enter heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Our value structure must be based on His criteria - not Donald Trump and men like him. Not the transactional attitude of big business and corporations.

With regard to this issue in general, I would ask you to consider supporting government programs that give health care to everyone. It is shameful that Americans are sometimes actually DYING from an inability to get dental care. Ignoring dental issues can and sometimes does result in heart problems and death. This does not happen in the other industrialized countries, even though they have far less wealth than the Americans do. Haven't you ever wondered WHY this is? If you do not believe what I have written here, please do yourself and all of us the favor of investigating and researching original sources and legitimate journalists.

For myself personally, I ask that you consider donating to my Paypal account so I can get some dental work. The eyeglasses for which I went through such agony to find the money six months ago have now fallen apart and need repair. My service dog himself needs dental surgery, amounting to between $500 and $800, otherwise he will have to be euthanized much sooner than otherwise. My personal papers and projects are in boxes all over my house because I need storage furniture, a writing desk, some filing cabinets, in addition to the aforementioned electric bed.

See the link to the right, above. I also have a BIRTHDAY WISH LIST on Amazon that includes a bed. Amazon has my address and will ship to me direct.

During the 33 years that I worked and supported myself, I never dreamed I would have to ask for help, but I do it regularly now because I am both disabled, senior, and without resources. What little family I had stole the inheritance my father arranged for me by changing his will after he got Alzheimers and after I became completely disabled. The man who signed his death certificate was a quack who went to jail for giving prescriptions to people he had never met and in amounts that would kill. My father's death was suspicious, but by the time I knew he was dead, those closest to him had quickly disposed of his body by cremation. These few facts tell you all you need to know about my little family. I leave them to their fate - in God's hands. In the meantime, what can I do? Just as others around the world, I must ask for help from the world at large. If help comes, I praise God. If help does not come, I praise God.

If you are able to help, I thank you in advance. If not, you may be one of the 40 million poor people who are struggling to make ends meet, and I will continue to pray for you. Or, you may be one of those people who disparages the poor and blames them. I pray for you also. I pray for everyone.

One day, I hope all Americans learn to treat others as if they were made in the likeness and image of God, instead of just mouthing that biblical platitude.

In the meantime, despite the multiple difficulties, I find meaning, joy and lessons in all of it and I still maintain an overriding sense of gratitude for my long life, which I hope continues for some time. Life is still good, and I still feel blessed. I hope you do likewise.

May all people have peace and happiness. As the Indian sages chant;

Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Peace, Peace, Peace. May Peace be unto all people.

Silver "Rose"
Sannyasini Kaliprana