SAINT LUCY, PATRON SAINT OF THE BLIND - DECEMBER 13 - HOW TO GET TO KNOW THE SAINTS

 

Saint Lucy

Patroness of the Blind

Feast day December 13

This article is a personal account of some of what has been involved in getting to know my favorite saints, many of whom are my ancestors and holy cousins, aunts and uncles of one degree or another. 

I was initially guided on this road by extensive reading of the contemplative practices of the mystics of the Catholic Church, such as Saint Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, Jane de Chantal, Francis de Sales, Thomas Merton, and others of that ilk.

My ancestors range from Saint Olga of Kyiv, my 34th great grandmother, and the patron saint of converts, to Saint Margaret of Scotland, an English Plantagenet princess married to King Malcolm of Scotland, who is my 29th great grandmother and the patron saint of large families. There are something like 2 dozen of my relatives in heaven who are saints of the Catholic Church (as well as the Orthodox, in many cases.)

There are also a number of saints I consider my friends. It is quite a crowd!

Part of the reason that I am so fond of the saints is that I have no close family. My natal family was very small. Most have died. There are a very small number of remaining people, who have been cruel toward me, one of whom conspired with others to write me out of my father's will after he got dementia, then came back for a second bite of the apple in a stunningly cynical legal move that was calculated to push me into a corner and prevent me from claiming the inheritance my father had continually promised me throughout his life. 

The only people who loved me were my father and my grandmother, and they are long gone. In response to these circumstances, I have turned to my relatives in Heaven.

"Though my father and mother forsake me,

the Lord will receive me." Psalm 27:10

I also enjoy the company of many sainted friends that I have grown to love. The initial attraction sometimes has to do with the saint having been a hermit for at least part of their time on earth, and I look to them for guidance and example in how to lead that life. It warms me to understand how many of them there are! It's an extreme type of spiritual life, but yet there are many Catholics throughout history who have gone into the isolated, quiet places to pray in secret to the Lord in Heaven who rewards us in secret.

Later, some of these hermits attract other spiritual aspirants, and a community forms. Sometimes, the religious authorities, recognizing their holiness, would make them a bishop or the abbess of their own convent, and these people move from the hermit state to the cenobitic life. But there is something about spending some time in the hermit life that is an incredible help to the establishment of the spiritual aspirant in their relationship with the Divine.

As a side note to readers: even if you can only spend a dedicated weekend, or a week or two in a solitary setting, especially at a retreat center, monastery or convent, it will feed your spiritual appetites in a way that will stay with you forever. I promise. These experiences build upon one another. You will look back upon them with gratitude. And this is the perfect atmosphere in which to begin your contemplative journey with the saints.

Saint Lucy is one of my sainted friends in heaven upon whom I lay the task of interceding for me with the Lord so that I do not lose any more of my vision than I already have. I am functionally blind in my left eye and struggling to retain the vision in my right eye. At the present time, I have to get monthly injections into my right eye. After the 3-month period of getting these shots, the retina specialists will take photographs of the inside of my eye to determine if the shots have been able to stop the leakage of blood into my eyes by the invading blood vessels due to macular degeneration.

In celebration of the feast day of Saint Lucy, the patron saint of blindness, I am hereby giving an accounting of my personal experiences of the contemplative life, in connection with the establishment and maintenance of relationships with my favorite saints, of whom Lucy is one!

In the many years in which I have been disabled, I have accumulated a host of saints around me. This isn't a turn of phrase or mystical fancy. When you call upon anyone in the vast Heavenly Court, they respond to you in direct proportion to how much and how often you call upon them, in conjunction with the general state of grace in which you live.

Keep in mind that the deeper types of contemplative prayer will not typically include words or visuals. The consolations and atmosphere are different, but communing with the saints is a lovely phase that sets the stage for the mind before it enters into communion with the Holy Spirit.

Saint Lucy's feast day presents a very good opportunity for me to talk a bit about how I have made friends with the saints in Heaven.

In order to start the process of getting to know a saint, especially an obscure one, the first thing I typically do is some preliminary reading about the saint and get to know her a bit. The internet is a wonderful resource. A simple Google search for articles about the saint, as well as a trip through YouTube to check for educational videos, are both good resources. (Just check to make sure that the provider of the information is legitimately Catholic and not some cosmic poo-poo person who is selling crystal healings, "reiki sessions" or something like that!)

I usually find a prayer or two about that saint that has an official imprimatur, then I will light some candles and incense at my shrine, dim the other lights in the house, turn off the phone, use the sacramentals I have on hand, such as holy water, and begin.

Recently, I have started using some of Father Chad Ripperger's prayers from  his book of "Deliverance Prayers for the Laity." First, I will pray a version of his Invocation to the Entire Heavenly Court in order to sweep the decks of any lingering malevolent spirits, calling upon the entire heavenly court.

If you do not have the time to recite this entire prayer, then I recommend you pray any St. Michael prayer that you typically pray, something which is very easy to find on the internet and in many standard prayer books that you may have around the house.

Also, the short prayer to your Guardian Angel can be used at this juncture, instead of or in addition to the Invocation to the Entire Heavenly Court.

Invocation to the Entire Heavenly Court

O glorious queen of Heaven and earth, 

Virgin most powerful, thou who has the

power to crush the head of the ancient

serpent with thy heel, come and exercise

this power flowing from the grace of 

thine Immaculate Conception. 

Shield us under the mantle of thy purity

and love, draw us into the sweet abode

of thy heart, and annihilate and render

impotent the forces bent on destroying

us. Come most Sovereign Mistress of the

Holy Angels and Mistress of the Most

Holy Rosary, thou who from the very

beginning hast received from God the

power and the mission to crush the head

of Satan.

I humbly beseech thee, send forth thy

holy legions, that under thy command and

by thy power they may pursue the evil

spirits, encounter them on every side,

resist their bold attacks, and drive them

far from us, harming no one on the way, 

binding them immobile to the foot of the

cross, to be judged and sentenced by 

Jesus Christ, thy son, to be disposed of

by Him as He wills.

St. Joseph, patron of the Universal Church,

come to our aid in this great battle against

the forces of darkness, repel the attacks of

the Devil, and free me from whatever 

stronghold the enemy has upon my soul.

St. Michael, summon the entire Heavenly

court to engage their forces in this fierce

battle against the powers of Hell. Come, O

prince of Heaven, with thy mighty sword,

and thrust into Hell Satan and all the other 

evil spirits.

O Guardian Angels, guide and protect me/us.

Amen

You might also like to take advantage of one of the perimeter prayers which is very good protection when preparing your shrine for each period of meditation upon the saint, in which case I would recommend using the perimeter prayer as you are preparing the shrine, then begin with the Invocation to the Entire Heavenly Court.

Small book of St. Padre Pio's

prayers that I use almost daily

After the Invocation, I would then pray one of Saint Padre Pio's prayers to all the saints, as follows:

A Daily Prayer to the Saints

Dear beloved saint(s) ____(name)____

You are my friend(s) in Heaven.

You guide me, you help me, you are

there for me in my earthly journey.

As I live my life today, help me in my

daily activities and direct me spiritually,

so I can know and understand God's

plan for me.

Give me the grace and strength to assist

those in need. Help me to care for those

who need care.

Seek the Lord's blessings for me, so that

I may experience God's love and goodness

as you did, despite all the challenges and

obstacles in daily life.

Ask God to grant me the courage and

determination to always do what is right

for me, my family, and those closest to

me. Please hear my petitions and inter-

cede for my special intentions before our

Loving Lord.

_________(state your request_______

Amen.

This prayers is one for which I have made room in my daily schedule of prayers, in order that I may always keep in  mind my heavenly friends.

When making a special appeal to a particular saint, as we are discussing here, it also has a place in that cycle of prayers. At this point, after clearing away all negative attentions, gaining the assistance of the entire Heavenly Court, and addressing all the saints with Padre Pio's beautiful prayer, I would then pray the prayer to the specific saint with whom I am developing a relationship at the moment.

In today's case, it is Saint Lucy, whose prayer is as follows:

PRAYER TO SAINT LUCY:

Saint Lucy, you did not hide your light

under a basket, but let it shine for the whole 

world, for all the centuries to see. We may 

not suffer torture in our lives the way you 

did, but we are still called to let the light of 

our Christianity illumine our daily lives.

Please help us to have the courage to bring 

our Christianity into our work, our recreation, 

our relationships, our conversation - every 

corner of our day.

Amen

I then proceed with contemplation, by closing my eyes and meditating upon the day's saint. In the initial stages of appealing to any saint, there will be a very gradual movement toward one another. It can even take years before you are in regular communion with that saint, depending upon the state of your soul, how much time you put into this, and whether you are in a state of grace.

You know, the saints are simply people who lived on earth at one time and whose lives of faith were so exemplary that it has been determined that they are definitely in Heaven.  When asking for the saint's help in the form of intercessory prayers on your behalf, you are seeking them out in Heaven, where the entire Heavenly Court is spending all its time singing the praises of the Lord.

(Side note: Whenever I think of Heaven, I can almost hear the Heavenly Court singing the Lord's praises in the sweetest of notes! Can you imagine? What a blissful idea!)

You need to get the saints attention so that she may dedicate some of her prayers to your welfare, when she is joining in the prayers of the Heavenly Court.

I find that, in addition to the beauty of the words that you employ in your prayers, it helps to visualize Heaven as well.

IMAGINE HEAVEN

Reaching for Heaven

by Zulmaury Saavedra

at Unsplash

You might imagine, as I do, that you are walking upon the dazzling pavement of a heavily trafficked street paved with golden shimmering bricks or a glittering plaza, in a very big celestial city, with a crowd of sparkling beings gently moving about or swaying in place, their forms gracefully moving - with all of them lifting their voices to sweet celestial music and using beautiful gestures meant to glorify the Lord and participate in His beauty while the splendor of the Lord shines in and through everything. All the Saints are gathered around  the Lord who is at the center of it all, flanked by his Blessed Mother and the angels, and it is gorgeous. Personally, I hear bells throughout, but that's just me.

Obviously, the English language, and our own imaginations, cannot come anywhere near the glory of what goes on in Heaven, but we have to work with images and situations that are familiar to us until the door is opened for us and we experience a more closely representational vision of the Heavenly abode.

I may imagine that I enter Heaven and begin to walk its Heavenly illuminated streets, and then I see a shining person on the other side of the street or the plaza, walking on that other side, perhaps traveling in the opposite direction from me and I just see the back of their head.

Everyone and everything is full of light, and all their spiritual forms expand in time to the music they offer the Lord. In one way or another, they are all communicating with the Lord. Angels are flying in the sky. Saints are walking the illuminated structures. Everything is radiating a dazzling light!

This is the imagery that appeals to me, but you will find your own way through that supernatural place.

In the beginning, you may only have a fuzzy impression of what the saint looks like. It helps to call upon the iconography. Saint Lucy, for instance, today's special saint, is often represented holding a small plate or bowl containing her eyes that were plucked out of her head during her lifetime. [It is a gruesome image, I know, but she lived during the time of Diocletian, whom you may have heard of. He was a brutal man who was responsible for the torture and terrible deaths of many Christians of his era. He was emperor from 284 to 305 C.E.] One of the stories claims that Lucy plucked out her own eyes because a suitor became enamored of their beauty. Another tale claims that it was done to her in the middle of some torturous act.]

In order for you to get the attention of any particular holy person, you have to call upon her intently so that the saint, angel or even our Blessed Mother will hear you. This is how it is in the beginning of this spiritual practice when one has yet to make an intimate friendship with the saints by consistent, regular attention to them.

After the initial prayers, and you feel you have made contact with the saint, you will want to spend some time just communing with her in that holy place.

THE RELATIONSHIP GROWS

After the first introductions, the saints will start to listen for your call, knowing it will come. Then they will themselves draw closer, until finally they are living in your heart and you are in communion with them all the time. Once you have established a practice of communicating with them, your attachment to them, and they to you, can be instantaneous, in my experience.

Eventually, I have been on such intimate terms with the saints that I feel their presence within me throughout the day and can conjure up a conversation or companionship in a moment. 

This is especially true for the saints who are my actual ancestors, who I believe have been praying for me my entire life. I believe that they watched the birth and growth of all their various grandchildren, praying for them through the trials and tribulations of their lives, interceding for them with the Lord.

Saint Eahlswitha,

Wife of Saint King Alfred the Great

My 33rd Great Grandparents

Sometimes, in the quiet of a late evening, you will want to go to them in Heaven. At other times, during the day, when faced with the problems of life, you may need them right here in the earthly plane, in order to inspire and encourage you in whatever you face in your worldly life.

I will OFTEN ask myself, "what would this saint do if they were faced with a similar circumstance?" I find it very helpful to posit this question because I will often receive an answer fairly quickly.

GUARDIAN ANGELS

This process works well for your Guardian Angel also because this special angel, who has been tasked with caring for you since your birth, will actually feel thrilled that you are giving them some attention. Every time you call upon your Guardian Angel, you are allowing it to fulfill its entire purpose. Created solely to keep its eyes on you and help you, it can grow to feel cold and lonely despairing of ever truly pleasing God, if you don't give it any opportunity to help you.

Like all angels, each Guardian Angel is its own species of spiritual being. There is no other spiritual being made exactly like any one of these angels who is yours and yours alone. I have read some accounts in which it is claimed that your Guardian Angel looks exactly like the person for whom they were created.

So, if you are meditating on finding a saint in Heaven in order to obtain her intercession for your needs, and you come across an angel that looks exactly like you, don't be surprised.

Painting of cherubs by 

William-Adolphe Bouguereau

I would just say that it is probably a good idea to make sure that you first have a good relationship with your Guardian Angels before you start running around the spiritual realm, giving all sorts of attention to one saint or another, while ignoring your poor Guardian Angel and making it sad.

In fact, it will be much easier getting it to help you than some old saint, since you are your Guardian Angel's only job and responding to you is part of its duty.

I say "it" when I refer to angels because, in fact, they have no gender. While they sometimes come to earth and appear to us in some form that does, at times, appear to be human of a specific gender,  they have never been earthly beings. There is no marriage among angels and no angel babies being birthed. God creates angels out of His very holy will, so there is no necessity for them to be either male or female. On the other hand, God can do whatever he wishes, and if it really IS true that at least some of the Guardian Angels look like their charges, then it is possible that they appear to be either male or female without actually having a specific gender, per se. It's one of those mysteries.

While your Guardian Angel is a celestial being, the saints were and continue to be real people who have moved from the worldly to the heavenly realm.

DON'T ASK YOUR DEAD GRANNY TO PRAY FOR YOU.

Many people like to believe that everyone who has died is certainly in Heaven, but in the Catholic faith this is not strictly true. If a person does not die in a state of grace and has a lot of sins to clear up, they cannot enter Heaven. I believe this is why Jesus told us to "be ye perfect as thy Father in Heaven is perfect."

Many of our relatives will be in purgatory for some time, in order to clean up whatever sins were on their soul when they died. They need our attention also, and the best thing we can do for them is to pray for them to the Lord, make reparations for the sins left on their souls, and otherwise offer sacrifices for them, such as dedicating a period of fasting to them. Appealing to the saints and to the Guardian Angels of our loved ones who have died is also a very good idea. Their intercessory prayers can be helpful to your deceased relative.

It occurs to me that, at least for the devout among us, the pain of finding oneself in purgatory instead of Heaven might be so horrifying and painful that this moment alone might be enough to burn up our sins in an instant, sending us to Heaven quickly thereafter. I, for one, imagine I would go flying into Heaven singing prayers of gratitude for having escaped Hell and being let into Heaven at all.

When I see the Guardian Angels of the souls in purgatory, I imagine them downcast and sad, no longer able to help their charges except by praying to The Lord that they be released from purgatory.

The saints are deceased humans whom The Church has assured us are living in Heaven because of the unique spiritual character of their lives on earth. We can feel confident that these souls are able to intercede for us because we know they are in Heaven, while those in purgatory can not.

Purgatory is not Hell. It is a stopping place. It is not a gruesome and permanent place of torment, like Hell, but neither is it Heaven. The souls in purgatory cannot help us. They cannot even help themselves, except through the suffering of purgatory which purifies their souls. I have a strong suspicion that simply being unable to enter Heaven would be an awful suffering. I think I would yearn for Heaven so strongly that not being able to go there immediately would itself be an immense pain. 

When the soul has been purified sufficiently through suffering, the prayers of the faithful on earth, the intercession of the saints, and the grace of God, they are allowed to enter Heaven. It is pointless to ask your deceased Granny to help you out of a jam. We don't know, for certain, if Granny is in Heaven or not. She MAY be. We just don't know. But we DO know that the Saints are in Heaven, so it is best to save our appeals for those we know are in Heaven: the saints, the angels, our Blessed Mother, Jesus, and God the Father.

One thing we should remember is that the saints are humans. Our relationships with them are real relationships with real people who are living in Heaven. They have not been transformed into magical beings, nor are they angels, which many people incorrectly assume they have become. Angels are a different species. In fact, each angel is completely unique and is its OWN species entirely different from all others, but that is a different story entirely.

When building a relationship with the saints you are building a real relationship with a real person. It does not happen by magic, nor is it typically an instantaneous, effortless thing. If it does appear to be magical and instantaneous, you either have a remarkable imagination, or there is a demon chasing you and trying to trick you by appealing to your ego. 

I would take care to be sure and pray all the deliverance prayers at your disposal and clear the perimeter of your prayer space. Call in Saint Michael and your Guardian Angel to watch over you while you pray, and you should be alright. It's also a good idea to play Gregorian Chant in your home regularly.

If your experience is anything like mine, the more saints and angels you get to know in this way, the more you will be aware of the presence of a growing family of saints and angels who are with you all the time. In this way, the kingdom of Heaven is within you. The holy ones are with you. This is what I experience and what I hope for you as well.

DON'T MAKE IT MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT HAS TO BE!

In order for this to happen, I believe you should be in a state of grace in your life, committed to living as sinless a life as what is possible for you. God is all good. Heaven is a place of purity, peace and perfection. Evil and sin are incompatible with deliberate sin. Accessing the Heavenly realm does not seem possible if one is in a sinful state.

So, if you are deliberately sinning and assuming that God will be alright with it, becoming familiar with the saints will be more difficult. Confession and reception of the Blessed Sacrament, use of all the sacramentals such as holy water and blessed salt, helps provide a fertile ground for the growth of divine relationship between you and the Holy Ones. That is my belief and experience.

Those of us under either private or formal vows will typically promise "poverty, chastity and obedience." Americans often have trouble following ANY of these vows, and that is exactly what makes our spiritual lives more difficult than they have to be.

With regard to poverty, many of us have no problem with that. We have no extra money and, in fact, do not have enough for what we consider to be our needs. If we DO find ourselves with excess belongings that do not have a place in our working lives or our state of life, there is usually no problem getting rid of these. Giving to the poor is something I have found very easy to do. We are surrounded with poor people, even those who are so poor they do not have even a home to live in! It's shameful, really, but that is a topic for another blog.

Chastity is the virtue that most Americans ignore completely. Because of this phase of modernism, American Catholics have changed the rules for themselves. I can tell you confidently, however, that anyone having sex outside a valid marriage is going to have problems with their prayer life. Tell yourself whatever you like. God did not change the rules. People did. And when people change God's rules, trouble ensues. It is just a fact.

Even the Hindus with whom I studied before getting baptized had very strong teachings about the necessity for the control of the sexual expression. Their reasoning is different, but the result is the same.

If you want to make progress in your spiritual life, get your physical life in order in this area, and I guarantee you that you will experience tremendous relief. The flood gates will open and the difficulties will lessen.

Likewise with regard to obedience. For lay people, obedience means first of all obedience to the rules of the Catholic faith. Get familiar with the Catechism. It's a huge book, I know, but the YouTube classes "Catechism in a Year" is a great place to start. There are also classes you can take at your parish.

Once again, the more in line is your behavior with the principles of The Faith, in all areas, the easier and more satisfying your prayer life is going to be.

ATMOSPHERE HELPS

In fact, whatever we can do to inspire ourselves in our surroundings, such as tending to an appealing and beautiful domestic Shrine and altar in our homes, can also be quite helpful to get us centered and concentrated on our spiritual practices, such as this one. 

Father Chad Ripperger, well known Catholic exorcist, tells us that Gregorian Chant chases away Satan and his demons. It hurts their ears to hear these holy sounds! In gathering the holy saints to yourself, you do not want to gain the attention of the fallen saints, so keep that in mind as well.

One day I will make a blog post about home shrines and the various items that can help you maintain your spiritual atmosphere and attitude.

Finally, I will add that getting to know the saints and developing relationships with them has been particularly beneficial for all phases of my life and my spiritual practices, especially since I discovered I am descended from some of these people. This is particularly helpful for me, since I do not have any living close family. The saints in Heaven, the angels, and our Blessed Mother and our Loving Lord have literally become my day-to-day family and they can become part of your intimate family also!

I hope this post is helpful to all of you. If you have any questions, feel free to write a comment or contact me on Facebook.

In the meantime -

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

Our Lady of Mount Carmel - July 16, 2022

 

Our Lady of Mount Carmel

Feast Day - July 16th

I became aware of our Lady of Mount Carmel when I was 11 and had discovered the Carmel Mission in Carmel by the Sea, where I rode my Schwinn bicycle from our house in Carmel Valley. I've told various chapters of the story on this blog, but it pertains to today's blog, so I'll expand on it a bit.

As I have said before, my parents were extremely hostile toward religion, and Catholicism in particular, which is odd, because both family lines were extremely religious until my grandparents' generation and I am, in fact, descended from quite a few saints and a cousin to many others.

My grandparents, on my father's side, were not religious at all that I was aware of. They had very difficult peasant lives in the mountains of Northern Italy, with rather brutal parents of their own, who came to America and struggled to put together a life as immigrants, then farmers in the U.S. I will assume that previous generations probably had very strong Catholic background.

My mother's line, however, which I have traced back to the first couple hundred years after Jesus, is full of actual saints, both in my direct ancestry and with a lot of cousins also.  There are dozens, actually. But something happened in the time of the great grandparents in which religion was not a feature.

My mother and her parents and some grandparents were heavily involved in Freemasonry. Uncles and cousins in that family line were likewise involved, with several holding leadership positions.

Carmel Mission

Carmel, California

National Historic Monument

Founded June 3, 1770

Photo by Burkhard Mucke

I have just recently learned from a prominent exorcist that Freemasonry may have some demonic elements to it, though I haven't studied this aspect of things and, as I faithfully steer clear of anything smacking of cosmic controversy, I can't comment about it. My grandmother was a member of the Order of the Eastern Star, and my mother was in Rainbow girls. They took it very seriously and never would discuss ANYTHING about those closely related organizations with me because of vows of secrecy they took.

The Catholic Church believes Freemasonry to be antagonistic to the principles of the Catholic Faith and that their principles and rituals are "irreconcilable with the doctrines" of the faith. (Wikipedia)

Wikipedia: PAPAL BAN ON FREEMASONRY

Catholic.com: What Does the Church Say About Freemasonry?

THE ACCIDENTAL HERMIT "ACCIDENTALLY" FINDS CARMEL

You know, I found the Carmel mission entirely by accident. I had no idea what a "mission" was. I was just riding my bike one day, and there it was. I wandered inside and became enthralled - and that was the beginning of my love of Our Lady of Mount Carmel and the contemplative life that her order supports, exemplifies and protects. And the Catholic contemplative life NEEDS protecting because a good portion of the Church appears to have entirely forgotten its mystical heritage. The Carmelites and other contemplative orders keep this heritage alive, often in a very hidden fashion.

I have often meditated on the significance of my "finding" the Carmel Mission and my subsequent correspondence with the cloistered nuns nearby, and I am sure that I was led there through Divine Intervention. I strongly suspect that my saintly ancestors, as well as Our Blessed Mother in Heaven, and our Heavenly Father, all cooperated to bring me to the foot of the cross, where Mary also stands, to begin my contemplative journey. 

All of these were, no doubt, anxious to return my family to the love of God they had enjoyed for centuries.

When my father and my mother forsake me

then the Lord will take me up.

Psalm 27:10

MY HOLY FAMILY OF SAINTS IN HEAVEN

When I learned that I am descended from many remarkable saints, I gradually became convinced of their heavenly assistance, in lieu of my parents who were absorbed with their own issues. 

I have felt the Divine Accompaniment and influence in my life, but I grew to understand it only during the last 20 years of my hermit sojourn. I rely upon the love and guidance of my sainted great grandmothers and great grandfathers, as well as the friendship and examples of my divine cousins to get me through an extremely difficult set of life circumstances which started with a cruel mother and an absent father, followed by a series of puzzling pieces of "bad luck," several near-death experiences, and for the last 20 years has been marred with chronic illness and pain, mobility difficulties and growing blindness. I have lost most of the vision in my left eye and am scrambling to retain what remains in the right.

I did not know about my sainted ancestors and cousins until I had been researching my ancestry for more than 30 years, and the internet became available for more in-depth research.

Saint Margaret of Scotland statue

My 29th great grandmother

Here are some of the ancestors, not in any particular order:

• Saint Olga of Kyiv "Equal to the Apostles" is my 34th great grandmother, and the patron saint of converts
• Saint Margaret of Scotland, English Plantagenet princess, Queen and wife of King Malcolm of Scotland, is my 29th Great Grandmother.
• Saint and King Louis IX, of France, is my 4th cousin (22 X removed) was closely allied with the Carmelite Order, interestingly enough.
• Saint Ida of Lorraine is my 33rd great grandmother.
• Saint Ferdinand III of Castille is my 25th great grandfather.
• Saint Adella Capet, is my 27th great grandmother.
• Saint Alfred the Great, King of England, is my 33rd great grandfather
• Saint Ealhswith, Alfred's wife and queen, is my 33rd great grandmother.
• Saint Clothilde, Queen of the Franks, is my 42nd great grandmother.
• Saint Hedwiga of Germany, is my 32nd great grandmother.
• Saint Adela of Normandy, daughter of William the Conqueror, is my 25th great grandmother.
• Saint Dode, the Abbess of Saint Pierre de Reims, is my 41st great grandmother
• Saint Edgar "The Peaceful," King of England, is my 33rd great grandfather.
• Saint Begga of Landen is my 38th great grandmother.
• Saint Doda of Metz is my 38th great grandmother.
• Saint Arnulf of Metz (Doda's husband) is my 38th great grandfather
• Saint Aelfgifu (Elgiva), Queen of England, my 34th great grandmother.
• Saint Alfred the Great, my 33rd great grandfather.

I am still learning about these saints and trying to keep the details of their lives in memory, but have not committed much of it to memory yet. I will work on that and also may write a little book about them if I can think of a cohesive concept for it.

THE BATTLE I AM FIGHTING

How could I NOT be Catholic with all of these ancestors and relatives looking after me? The answer, of course, is that after winning over THIS family line, cutting off the family line from all those beautiful saints, first with my great grandparents, and then grandparents and my parents, my attraction for The Faith enraged The Evil One.

I have been tormented in retaliation for my devotion to God - because I am quite sure that my mother and father were surrounded by demons. They certainly lived as if they were. Just as Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, he and his demon pals whisper into the ears of humans any thought or idea they can imagine in order to encourage us to reject God as they did, to disobey God, and to hurt people.

When I was a little girl, I was mystified by the cruelty with which I was treated by my parents. I was good. I knew I was good. I never skipped school. I got good grades. My room was always clean and my bed was always made. I was talented and produced beautiful artworks. I was polite. But I was continually tormented.

My mother, a disabled woman with physical and mental weaknesses, was susceptible to the methods of Satan. 

THE PURPOSE AND METHODS OF SATAN

In the book, Manual for Spiritual Warfare (Paul Thigpen, TAN Books, (c) 2014) the author explains these methods. He tells us that the purpose of Satan and his Demons is to "see as many human beings as possible join them in rebelling against God - and in their everlasting misery separated from Him in Hell." 

They are creatures originally created by God to be Angels, but they rebelled against God. Why would any creature do such a thing? I think it is probably ego. Satan and his minions crave the obedience, devotion and love given to God. It is the supernatural version of worldly jealousy and desire for power.

When Satan and the other angels were created, they were given free will, just as God's human children were. In order to truly love God, it must be a choice, otherwise it is slavery. So, there is this great battle going on the spiritual plane that affects our activities here on earth. 

HOLINESS REPAID WITH MALTREATMENT

My entire life, from childhood onward, I have been the recipient of all sorts of evil that Satan and his dark little pals could inspire humans to do. For so long, I wondered why it is that the more loyal to God I became and the more spiritually inspired I was, the worse I was treated by all sorts of people. My "reward" for holiness appeared to be punishment. I could not understand it. In strictly human terms, it gave me a whopping big case of PTSD, and I am handling that with medical care and coping mechanisms. But the evil that inspired humans to  assail me has its roots in Satan's fury.

I now understand what has been happening all these years and just how high the stakes are. My holy family, chock full of saints, going back hundreds and hundreds of years, is under attack and has been for quite some time.

FORGIVENESS AND REPARATION

This is why it is so important to offer up all the sufferings I endure and, instead of succumbing to the disillusionment I have felt as a result of my fellow co-religionists' heresies and hatreds, I have to pray for them with much more fervor and understanding than I previously had. Unbeknownst to them, they have entered into a bargain with Satan. Jesus's admonition to pray for one's enemies takes on fresh context.

Have you ever wondered about YOUR ancestors in Heaven? Does it not occur to you that they may be in Heaven, on their knees before God, interceding on your behalf?

INTRODUCTION TO CONTEMPLATIVE LIFE

By the time I found myself at the Carmel Mission, my parents had already been divorced about five years, and a parade of predatory men had begun to filter into my mother's household. My father, in turn, was pursuing scores of would-be starlets and was never faithful to any of them, married or not. I had terrible examples of family life and was treated cruelly by my mother.

In contrast, the peace and blessedness that I felt when I walked into the mission struck me powerfully. I felt subsumed in the enormity of the Love of Christ....taken up into a foretaste of Heaven. I can say that now, but at the time I had no words for it. I did not even understand it. I just experienced the bliss.

This is the tiny little store in the Mission

The man behind the counter was my angel. He gave me all sorts of little bookmarkers, prayer cards, 3rd class relics. I don't know if I even knew his name, but he was so kind to me! That man was my introduction to Catholicism. I doubt he ever had the slightest inkling how very important he was in the scheme of things. I did not receive much kindness in my life - and certainly no love, except for the occasional attention of my beloved grandmother who lived in San Francisco and I rarely got to see. 

I was a sponge for the Divine Love that permeated that blessed place and the simple human kindness of that nice man behind that counter. It makes me happy to imagine him in Heaven, gazing on the beatific vision for the rest of eternity. You know, it only takes a little bit of kindness to make a world of difference to a person. That man is partially responsible for my becoming Catholic and he doesn't even know it - or perhaps he does now. I doubt he is still on this earth.

One of the items he gave me had the address of the Carmelite nuns on it, and I ended up corresponding with the nuns of the cloistered Carmelite convent affiliated with that mission.  They sent me pamphlets about the holy life of Carmel - the life of silence and prayer. It sounded like Heaven to me!

My mother quickly put an end to it though. She was absolutely furious that I had started writing them! But I was able to stay with them just long enough for my heart to catch fire with the inspiration of the contemplative life and that is what I needed, evidently.

Of course, it took me some time to find my way to the Catholic faith. The people in our faith are remarkably fond of rejecting anyone that appears to be different to what they're used to. My mother was right when she said I would be rejected by them, but it was not for the reason she thought it was. But I just kept pursuing it and here I am, living as a religious hermit, no less, devoted to the faith and still feeling the bliss!

SATAN ATTACKS THE CHURCH FROM WITHIN

Although I am a Catholic in good standing, to this day I have been unable to find a parish where I have not been subjected to "surprisingly" bad treatment. This has been, at times, superficial, pertaining to me alone, but in most cases it reflects a trend in the church, in general. The church is bleeding members. 

Non-Catholics, when they learn I am Catholic, assume that I share the pro-Trump, "force and punishment" authoritarian model of politicized evangelization to which many of my co-religionists subscribe and advertise on social media like Facebook, and they rake me over the coals accusing me of supporting all sorts of things I do not support. It's like a war. "If you're not with us, you're against us."

Meanwhile, my fellow Catholics, when they learn that I disapprove of Trump's methods, treated me harshly. People I loved very much shunned me. It was brutal. I think I have one Catholic friend who voted for Trump. The rest were very clear that they no longer wanted to know me if I did not support Trump. In the past, friends had occasionally drifted away, when I left the state or converted from Hinduism to Catholicism, but I have never experienced anything like the verbal assaults I got from the people who threw me over for Trump.

Invisibility is another way of disheartening a Catholic who tries to make connections with their parish, with no luck. For example, I have spoken to the office of my current parish many times, explaining I am blind in one eye and it is hard to read the parish bulletin online. They will send me a bulletin for 2 or 3 weeks, and then it stops. I call again. Same thing happens. After 4 or 5 efforts, one DOES give up. At times, I have called, only to be told that I am not registered with the parish! I AM registered with this parish, but Satan can and does mess with the perceptions or he will distract a person,

When I was pursuing "official" status as a Diocesan Hermit, I can't tell you how many phone calls I made to the Bishop's office. I spoke to the right people and said the right things. I was promised return phone calls that never happened. First one bishop, then the next bishop. I have a friend who claims that this invisibility is partially because I am poor and have no money to offer and I have no family in the church and no one to advocate for me. I can't say whether or not that is true, but money does seem to have that effect on people.

In a church that has lost its respect for the contemplative life, the idea of a woman living as a religious hermit is often met with derision. One very worldly priest once told me "don't tell anyone you're a hermit because they'll think you're a kook!"

The adoration of Trump is not something I share, and the politicization of American Catholicism is not something I appreciate. But if it was not this it would be something else because it is in Satan's best interests to keep me as far from other Catholics as possible in his effort to break me away from the faith and to break the faith itself by perverting it.

I feel very sorry for all the other cousins of mine who are likewise descended from this family line of saints. I can well imagine the difficulties they endure.

Satan has been busy attacking Holy Mother Church for centuries. The relatively recent pedophilia scandals are just one of the latest campaigns of his. 

I would venture to say that most Catholics do not believe in the existence of Satan and his demons, primarily because they are not educated in the nature of those creatures and they have been influenced by all sorts of fanciful movies and books that feature demonic personalities.

Icon of the descent of Christ into Hell

Thinking of Satan as a person like a human person is usually the first mistake they make. Satan was created as an angel. We have to remember that. I recommend reading the book I mentioned, above.

Also remember that Jesus spoke about Satan and Hell many times.

WHY I PRAY FOR THOSE THAT HURT ME

If people who hurt me are in league with the Devil, why should I pray for them?

To be under a lifetime of attack by Satan is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person EXCEPT for the fate of those people who, through Satan's influence, have done his work and attacked me, stolen from me, lied about me, were cruel to me, etc. The consequences for them are far worse than the discomfort I have experienced, which is exactly why Jesus told us to pray for those that harm us!

To ally oneself with evil is to choose Hell. Even those who do not understand that they have made a tacit pact with the Devil are consigning themselves to Hell because they have chosen evil. But many folks these days tell themselves that there is no Satan, there is no Hell and there are no consequences for choosing evil, which is wishful thinking. Jesus spoke about hell more than any other topic. Unless those nay-sayers think Jesus is a liar, they had better reconsider this opinion that only Jesus, God and Heaven exist, but not the rest of it.

One woman who stole from me then lied about it once told me that Jesus was going to let her into heaven whether she lied or not - that lying was no big deal and it was "just a story." She did not appear to understand that choosing evil is choosing Hell. Jesus does not send us there. We do that ourselves.

SIN OF PRESUMPTION

So I pray for the welfare of all these people who deliberately harm me. I can't imagine how horrible it will be for them to endure eternity without God. I hasten to say, however, that I dare not presume to know the mind of God or to know whether or not, in His infinite mercy, he may not allow anyone and everyone into Heaven, whether they repent of their sins or not. This is not for me to say. I do recognize that presumption upon God's mercy or lack thereof is a terrible sin, in itself, so I am not positively asserting that any person is destined absolutely for Hell. I just don't like the idea of anyone going to Hell and, in the tradition of intercessory prayer, I choose to offer up my pain and suffering in reparation for my own sins and for the sins of those who have hurt me, in imitation of what Jesus did for all of us.

The church folks who have tried to make me leave the faith because of Trump will get many prayers said on their behalf. The priest who gathered an audience around himself, then told a long and vulgar "joke" about the size of my derriere, complete with pantomimes, is in dire need of my prayers. Parishioners who laughed at the joke about the size of my derriere and did not defend me - they are in need of my prayers. The neighbors that have stolen from me. The neighbors that attacked me in a gang. The thieves who broke my car windows and stole everything within the vehicle. The people who spread untrue rumors about me. Those who caused my father's death. The people who stole my inheritance. All of them are in great need of my prayers. I have only lost money, comfort, reputation, and the peaceful enjoyment of my living space. They have lost everything of value.

At this point in the narrative, one could not be blamed for thinking that this writer has got a screw loose and the reason for her bad luck is because of that. I don't blame you. I did wonder about that myself, early in my Catholic life. But I realized that the more holy, honest and ethical I became, the more bad things happened to me. I was being punished every time I turned toward the good. On the other hand, every time I let up on my spiritual disciplines, relaxed my schedule, gave in to small temptations, I was "rewarded" with lucky turns of fate. It became obvious to me who was to blame for all the bad luck. I was doing all the right things and getting the wrong results. It was not me. It was Satan, trying to get me to lose heart and to give up on chasing good. Instead, he was encouraging me to choose the bad.

GOD BRINGS ALL THINGS TO THE GOOD

God's goodness is so complete that He is able to bring the greatest good out of the greatest evil. Satan's efforts to get me to abandon the faith by tormenting me through Catholics and others has boomeranged on him. Instead, I am more determined than ever to remain within the bosom of The Church and to devote myself even more to my contemplative practices. If that makes me a "kook," so be it.

I write all this in the context of our Lady of Mount Carmel because the Carmelites probably know more about intercessory prayer and the necessity for contemplative practices for the purpose of union with God than any other order or system of thought in The Church, and it is through my early exposure to Carmel that I was able to gear my life toward religion from an early age.

Of course, it took me a long time to get into the Catholic Church, first as a result of my parents' interference, and then as a result of The Church itself. I've told the story many times about how I left the Hindu convent to become Catholic and the nun that ran the RCIA class would not allow me to be baptized because she had this crazy idea that my divorce of a non-sacramental marriage had to be "annulled" before I could be baptized, contrary to all "rules" of The Catholic Church. 

I was living a perfectly chaste life and intended to join a Catholic Convent - Definitely in a "state of grace" - but she could not see it.  In fact, she seemed really angry with me for being a divorced person. How DARE I presume to live like a non-Christian person before I became a Christian? Her attitude seemed to be that I needed to be punished for having been divorced and I had to pay the price of spending "many" years appealing for an annulment of my non-sacramental marriage in order to make up for it. THEN she deemed I would be worthy to receive BAPTISM. I knew enough to tell her that this was not the rule of the church, but I could not get her to see it. She just got more and more huffy and angry with me. This is exactly how Satan tries to keep people away from the church. He appeals to the ego and the anger of minor functionaries in the institution.

Rather late in the game, I have realized that remaining Catholic is and will continue to be very painful and lonely, especially because I am physically disabled, half blind, and in chronic pain, all of which makes it difficult to travel. On top of my personal disabilities, all of us are dealing with Covid and its limitations as well. Satan is not going to give up his efforts to discourage me. He has put a lot of years and effort into disconnecting my family line of saints from The Church. He will continue to try to turn Church folks against me. 

So, if past experience is a predictor of what I can expect in future, the more effort I put into my spiritual practices, the more "bad luck" I can expect him to visit upon me. It will be stressful, but God will not allow it to break me.

I will pray for the strength to endure it, and I am thinking it is time to re-read the book of Job and related works to see what wisdom I may get from that. I continue to look to Our Lady of Mount Carmel for assistance with my contemplative practices, which typically provide relief.

THE PERFECT MODEL OF INTERIOR LIFE

The Wikipedia page about Our Lady of Mount Carmel says that "The Carmelites consider the Blessed Virgin Mary to be a perfect model of the interior life of prayer and contemplation to which Carmelites aspire."

Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalene de' Pazzi OCD, writes that "our Lady wants us to resemble her not only in our outward vesture but far more, in heart and spirit. If we gaze into Mary's soul, we shall see that grace in her has flowered into a spiritual life of incalculable wealth: a life of recollection, prayer, uninterrupted oblation to God, continual contact, and intimate union with Him."  Her soul is a "sanctuary reserved for God alone." Isn't that beautiful?

Prayer to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel:

O most beautiful flower of Mt. Carmel, fruitful vine,

splendor of Heaven, Blessed Mother of the Son of

God, Immaculate Virgin, assist me in my necessity.

O Star of the Sea, help me and show me you are my

Mother. O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of 

Heaven and Earth, I humbly beseech you from the 

bottom of my heart to succor me in this necessity 

(make request). There are none that can withstand

your power. O, Mary conceived without sin, pray for

us who have recourse to thee. Sweet Mother, I place

this cause in your hands. Amen."

There are many gorgeous and educational things written about Our Blessed Mother, and her role as the Lady of Mount Carmel. Rather than trying to reinvent the wheel with my own version, I would like to spend the next few days in contemplation and meditation, honoring our Mother, seeking her wisdom and assistance with the many issues with which I am grappling these days, and expressing gratitude for her intervention in my life that day, so many years ago, when I wandered into the Carmel Mission.

SATURDAY IS OUR MOTHER'S DAY

You know, Saturday is typically HER day, and I think it is very special that the 16th happens to fall on a Saturday this year. I highly recommend saying at least a few "Hail Marys," if you can spare the time, and practicing the presence of God and the Saints.

If any of you are interested in learning more about the contemplative life and mental prayer, feel free to contact me through the comment function on this website or go to Facebook and look me up. I am happy to help.

Here are a few helpful web pages that talk about this special feast day:

Wikipedia

Franciscan Media

Catholic News Agency

Discalced Carmel

I will try to clear the decks tomorrow so that I can spend Saturday in my own private retreat, and I hope you are able to do the same.

May you all experience the bliss of union with God.

Please pray for me, as I pray for you.

May we all be blessed!

Mother Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana

P.S. All of the blog posts I write are independently researched and written by me and all of them are protected by legal copyright, so please just enjoy them here and leave them here where you found them and do not copy any of it to any other place for any purpose.

(c) Copyright 2022, Silver S. Parnell

All rights reserved.