HOLY POVERTY DOES NOT WORK FOR DISABLED PEOPLE

 

PACKING TAPE COVERS THE HOLE THE

THIEVES LEFT WHERE THE WINDOW USED

TO BE

"Holy poverty" is something one learns to live with and, for the most part, I have adjusted to the limitations, but it would be a lot easier if I was not also variously disabled.

I have lived alone as a disabled urban religious for the last 20 years, surviving on my Social Security retirement income that I accumulated over more than 30 years of working as a secretary and office manager, something I did between stints in a Hindu convent. I also wrote for television in my early 20's, but the environment did not suit me and I left it behind.

Throughout my working life, I was battling poor health, mostly from what I now know to be inherited arthritic conditions, until I finally could not work any more and I had to stop. (In addition, I was suffering from long-term complex PTSD from several near-death and violent experiences, on top of Asberger's syndrome.)

My life has never been easy, but I have offered it up for the glory of God and, while I am happy to do that, it is still necessary to SURVIVE, something that is very difficult to do if one is disabled, mobility challenged, and does not have close family.

For some years after becoming disabled, I anticipated the inheritance my father had willed to me, but after he got Alzheimer's, someone took him to an attorney friend of theirs who did not know him, instead of the attorney he had used for decades who knew me, and that third person had me written  out of my father's will in favor of herself and her relatives. Shortly thereafter, he died under very suspicious circumstances. 

I was not notified that my father had died until after his body had been cremated. Shortly thereafter, the man who signed my father's death certificate went to prison for writing bogus prescriptions for people he had never seen. It is fairly obvious what happened here.  

I was even conned by another estranged relative who called me out of the blue and promised to get my inheritance back for me, but it turned out to be a conspiracy on top of a con job so that I could be pushed aside in favor of HER. That was more than a decade ago. There was nothing I could do to right these injustices. I had to acknowledge that I am too trusting and not nearly as clever as these people who were willing to lie, cheat, steal, and more, in order to grab money.  I had to just bless them and release them, knowing that The Lord will deal with them in His own way and I had to just move on.

A painting I did of our Blessed

Mother and Baby Jesus

Ever since that time, I have tried to supplement my retirement income by working at several types of crafts to sell, but without help to market and sell these things, I was unable to do it. One woman from church offered to sell things at a table during one of our church events, then she backed out after I had made a large supply of silver earrings because she realized she had misinformed me about the type of craft items that were allowed to be sold. A local store agreed to see my work, but when I finished producing the line to show her and/or sell, she backed out because she had gotten an influx of "vendors" into her shop and she did not even want to see what I had made for her! She had "too much stock." Recently, a very good friend generously offered to share her yearly craft table at a local fair, and I prepared a large number of things for it, but the day before the craft fair, her husband came down with Covid, and of course the whole project had to be scrapped. Between the tools and supplies, I had spent a good deal of money  - all for naught. I gave up on those projects and am donating everything to charity.

There are two creative projects left, both of which have generated some income for me in the past. One is a set of paintings I have designed, along with hand-made matching frames,  and the other is a novel I have been struggling to write. I was unsure if The Lord was wanting me to continue to strive forward with these, so I asked him recently, "Lord, please tell me if you want me to give up the creative projects and just devote myself to prayer alone" and within a minute, I had my answer. He gave me the introductory scenes and the denouement of a novel that had eluded me for two years! It was as if he handed me the entire project timeline from Heaven!  He just laid it on me in one fell swoop! My own personal miracle. I still have to write it, mind you, but He gave me those essential plot points that I've needed for so very long. Thanks be to God!

"Lady of the Stars"

watercolor I painted

The really wonderful thing is that the novel has an underlying spiritual dimension that could speak to nearly everyone. The story is realistic without being negative, uplifting without being saccharine. I will continue to work on it and hope to finish it this year.

IN THE MEANTIME, the recent upsurge in prices at the market, as well as incredibly expensive heating bills over the fall and winter, have left me absolutely "skint," as my British friends would say. Combine this with the deficit created by the money spent on the creative projects I was not able to sell, and you have a real disaster waiting to happen. I was robbing Peter to pay Paul, all the while hoping to somehow catch up.

That disaster happened today, when I had one more emergency than I was prepared to handle. My car's battery has died for the last time. It is not holding a charge. The battery was failing, and the recent freezing weather killed it. It is almost 30 years old, however, so I am grateful it lasted as long as it has!

To make it even more pathetic, the

car also has a flat front tire.

Batteries, along with everything else, have increased dramatically in price. The last time I had to buy a battery, it was $30. Now they are, at minimum, about $140. That does not include the labor to install them.

In addition, the back passenger window is still missing, the hole covered with tape. The front driver's window is permanently in the "closed" position because the mechanism broke some time ago and we did not generate enough money to fix it properly, so a friend of a friend opened up the door panel and tied the window in place. Now, whenever faced with a drive-through of any sort, I have to open the entire door. This is not a SAFE arrangement, but it will cost about $500 to install a working mechanism to lift the window up and down.

I am forced to create a GOFUNDME campaign to get the car worked on. I could actually use a couple thousand dollars to fix everything that is wrong with it, but I thought it better to ask for as little as possible, thinking it may encourage folks to donate, if it does not look like an impossible goal. I am actually hoping for more than we've asked for, but at the very LEAST would like to get a new or reconditioned battery.

I realize that my situation my not seem pathetic enough to some, but my survival actually depends on getting some help. I have done everything I can to help myself, to no avail, and I hope that my readers may find it in their hearts to contribute.

You can find my GO FUND ME CAMPAIGN HERE.

If you are unable to contribute, I ask that you to pray for me.

God bless us all

SELFISHNESS

 

I took my dog out for our late evening potty break but was unable to use my electric "mobility scooter" because a large car had parked right on top of the handicap ramp that is the only way to have access to the majority of the parking lot and walking areas. I had to fight back groans of pain while I hobbled with my cane instead of being able to USE the scooter. 

The ramp was OBVIOUSLY meant for disabled people - but whoever parked there did not consider anyone else's needs and desires but their own.

When I got close to the back gate, I noticed that someone had left a car parked directly in front of and completely blocking our one and only fire exit. There is a wide expanse of space where they could have parked instead - space that would not block our fire exit. As I passed, I wondered why they didn't consider anyone else's needs and desires but their own?

A little further on, I was unhappy to see that the movie company that is filming outside our gates decided to install their outdoor toilet right up against our fence,  two inches from the access gate the residents use to take their walks along the irrigation ditch and down to the dog park and just two feet from my neighbors' front door. Again, there are acres of room out there and they could have chosen to toilet themselves AWAY from our doors, sidewalks and walkways, but they didn't. I could almost SEE the stench rising from the latrine .  I wonder why they didn't consider anyone else's needs and desires but their own?

As I turned toward home, I thought about how life "themes" tend to strike me within the daily happenings, and I can see a string of meaning - a life course, of sorts. The last few months, I have been getting teachings about selfishness. It is easy to recall many examples of it For instance:

Last week, a visitor parked their car in front of my garage so I could not enter or exit - and when I asked her to move, three people joined her in some very frightening intimidation, screaming and yelling at me, calling me vulgar names and making reference to my being "old." They kept me prisoner in my car for 20 minutes, blocking me from going forward by moving the traffic cone in front of my car and then leaning over the hood while they screamed at me and made filthy faces and hand gestures. It was a nightmare.  Their belief appears to be that their comfort and convenience supersedes the rights and needs of everyone - even a disabled senior lady who pays rent for that space the interloper misappropriated. Their own parking space is just a few feet further away than the one they covet, and apparently this is of great insult to them, these newcomers to the building who drive a vehicle that sports, in LARGE letters, the motto, "F - - K THE POPULATION," an anti-social modern saying.

I had an experience recently in which other shoppers have been so absorbed in their own mental processes that they have banged into me, jostled me, reached across my body to get something they wanted - and all of this happened during a pandemic in which consciousness of one's proximity to other people is really important. When I asked one woman to stop touching me and to give me some space, she stood over me and glowered at me. She was awfully tall - at least six feet. Most women aren't that tall, and I remember wondering if her height had helped to turn her into a bully. She must have been an awful creature on the playground. She refused to get out of my space, so I had to leave and circle back later for the vegetables I had been picking when she accosted  me.

This is how gangs take charge of neighborhoods, I imagine. No one wants to go near these anti-social cretins, so everyone is forced to just give them what they want.

Something that happens as you progress in meditation practice is the ability to see the condition of other humans - the darkness and preoccupation of their minds - and how cut off they are from consciousness. Selfishness makes these people spin around inside their own minds, orbiting around the mania of the moment. Buddhists call this "monkey mind."  It is a terrible ordeal and torment for them.

Lately, I feel surrounded by these lost souls, as I have had to go to the doctor many times for a skin cancer that needs to be removed, and I am out in the public much more than is customary. In the process of getting my medical needs met, I have had to interact with some of these "monkey minds" including that of a very young surgeon I met with yesterday. She was manic and used hyperbole to mask her lack of concentration. The "conversation" was disturbing, as she repeated answers to questions I had not asked, ignored some of the questions I DID ask, and misinterpreted some things I had said - ostensibly because she was not paying proper attention. Recognizing the signs of "monkey mind", I have scheduled an appointment with a different surgeon.

I was very glad to interact with a man at the Cancer Center who DID seem completely present and conscious - the man who had been tasked with pushing my wheelchair around the facility. He took some time to show me some of the art on the walls, and then took me to my car. I was sad not to have had any cash to give him and made a mental note to carry some with me next time I go to the hospital. Their valet parking and other services are "free" but I am sure a tip would be welcome. It was a psychic relief to interact with someone who was present and selfless.

Tonight, while I walked and prayed and thought, I held the dog's leash with one hand and the recently purchased cannister of pepper spray attached to my key chain in my other. I am idealistic, but I am also practical. Now that people have started aggressing on me, I need to be prepared. I had no idea that some disabled and senior folks are routinely faced with abuse simply because they aren't vigorous enough to defend themselves. It's a sad commentary on human nature, and one that gives me great pain to observe.

Cherishing the delights of being able to help other human beings, and mourning the loss of this ability, through disability and its resultant poverty, makes me very sad for myself but especially for these people who apparently are ignorant of one of the most dazzling pleasures that being human provides.

Of all the memories I cherish in my old age, it is the memory of the handful of times I have been able to help other sentient beings get some need met or some long cherished desire realized. I can't imagine a life in which this is not experienced, desired or pursued.

The beauty of selflessness, of loving one's neighbor, of kindness and consideration, is sublime - exquisite - and supremely satisfying. I pray that everyone gets to experience its pleasures because it changes one's outlook on life entirely. I am betting that all my readers are well aware of this, as you all tend to be highly evolved people, I have observed. Please join me in my prayer that the bullies of the world get to experience and be transformed by selflessness, something Jesus talked about more than any other topic.

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

ADJUSTABLE BED AND OTHER BIG GIRL FURNITURE NEEDED

I came to New Mexico with only what I could fit in my little Toyota, thinking I could replace my furniture when I started working, but very soon after I got here, I became completely disabled and my Social Security is not enough to purchase furniture.

A friend from church gave me a recliner that I have been sleeping in for a couple of years, and a pink leather couch that I just love - but I desperately need a real bed that adjusts for my painful disabilities, as well as some furniture on which to work, write and paint and in which to store art supplies, paints, yarn, etc.

There is a neighbor in my complex who I can pay to put together the furniture. He used to do it professionally, lucky for me.

I have picked out the least expensive options that would work in my apartment. Amazon has my address and will ship to me direct.

Please take a look at my DONATION WISH LIST HERE

If you cannot afford any of the items on the list, but you would like to donate, please click on the PAYPAL DONATION LINK, to the right.

You know, most of my life I spent in a very minimalist style, living mainly on the floor, but I will be 65 this year, and I can't get up off the floor, once I get down there - so it's time to live like a grownup, don't you think?

God bless us all, and thank you.

Silver Rose

A PERSONAL NOTE

Garden photo, during a year

when we had some rain.

copyright (c) 2014

I am furiously working on all my creative projects in anticipation of the day when I will be too blind to do them. There are several conditions that are causing me to lose my sight, very gradually and, while I hope to stave it off as long as possible by protecting my eyes from the sun and avoiding strain, I want to do as many of my imagined projects as possible.

Currently, I am having real trouble even seeing that big 40 inch television that was given to me. I have to squeeze my eyes very tight, and even then, I can't make out very much of what is on the screen, though it is not far from my chair.

As most of you probably realize, Medicare doesn't pay for eyeglasses or dental work. Eyeglass insurance doesn't come anywhere near to giving me what I need.

Because of the complexity of my issues, I need three separate pairs of eyeglasses: One for computer work, one pair of really dark sunglasses, and one for daily activities and reading. The last two would be progressive lenses, while the computer glasses are measured according to how far from the screen I keep my eyes.

Each pair will cost about $250. I may be able to reduce the prices if the optometrist allows me to use some old frames that I have kept from years ago. Sometimes they don't want to do that, and they will not guarantee that they won't break them. I hope to use the old frames for sunglasses, at the very least.

Once I get the eyeglasses, I will need to campaign for some dental work, which I'm not looking forward to doing - but one thing at a time.

I realize there is a lot of need in the world at this time. So MANY people are suffering now! If I had any resources, I would definitely use those, but I don't. If you can give a bit toward my eyeglasses, that would be great. Please donate through the Paypal link on this page (above my profile picture.)

If you are unable to give, please consider telling your friends and/or posting my blog to your Facebook. I also have a gofundme page, if you'd like to use that. Just attach a comment to this post, and I'll figure out how to direct you to the right page on the gofundme site.

God bless you all!

Silver Rose

AYN RAND: APOSTLE OF SELFISHNESS AND HERO OF THE ALT. RIGHT

Ayn Rand

Russian-American novelist, promoter of selfishness, 

hero of the alt. right

1905-1982

Russian educated atheist Ayn Rand believed that selfishness was a positive virtue. She hated Christianity, championed abortion and, in addition to writing a few toxic novels and a small volume about selfishness, she also started a club that was dedicated to the promotion of selfishness. That the right wing lauds her and follows her selfish prescriptions for American society is a jarring contradiction, ESPECIALLY since the majority self-identify as Christian, and Rand's philosophy is the antithesis of Christianity.

"Abortion is a moral right which should be left to 

the sole discretion of the woman involved; 

morally, nothing other than her wish in the

matter is to be considered."

~ Ayn Rand ~

Several of America's contemporary government leaders have been remarkably affected by the fantasies of this novelist whose world view, if widely enacted, would regress the civilizing influence of Christianity on mankind back to the beginning of time.

Rand wasn't an economist and, in fact, her imaginative pronouncements on this field are dismissed by professional economists who have studied the history of economic systems and who know that we are stronger together than we are individually. It is the positive glory of human beings that we aim to enable every one of our members to succeed, and we lift up one another because we know that, in doing so, the human species becomes more successful. The dog-eat-dog world of Ayn Rand produces the opposite result.

"Jesus said unto him, 'thou shalt love the Lord thy God

with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy

mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the

second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as 

thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law

and all the prophets.'"

~ Matthew 22:37-40 ~

Because selfishness, xenophobia, racism and misogyny that are promoted by the alt right are damaging to the human race, as a whole, the alt. right movement, as typified in its most virulent form in the ravings of Steve Bannon, has to discredit and discount the experts in crucial fields of knowledge, even Biblical scholards. This bizarre subculture lionizes opinion without foundation while deriding experts in favor of fiction writers.

Steve Bannon and Marie LePen - 2018

"Let them call you racists. Let them call you xenophobes. 

Let them call you nativists. Wear it as a badge of honor."

~ Steve Bannon, 2018 ~

Ayn Rand was famously racist and nationalistic. She spoke against Native Americans, Arabs and indigenous people, in general. Her brand of politics is for white people only.

Followers of alt. right personalities resolutely ignore professional opinion in favor of people whom they perceive to be the common man, in whom they see themselves in some capacity. The pleasing mirage that the alt right personalities project, caters to the ordinary white guy, who then feels that maybe he too can rule the world without the bona fides typically required to do so. Slovenly Steve Bannon, with his baggy clothes and unkempt mop of hair, is their spokesman.

What is really going on here? At the heart of the modern alt right movement is the fight of the wealthy to grab even more wealth than they already have. The disparity of income in America is already the second worst in the world among all nations, but the wealthy are using hot button issues to coerce the white majority into helping them in the biggest smash-and-grab since before the French Revolution. The poor, disabled and elderly are hungry and poorly housed, yet the wealthy want to eliminate social programs that help alleviate their suffering. Ayn Rand disparages the charity that would help them.

"Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor, will

themselves call and not be heard."

~ Proverbs 21:13 ~

Ayn Rand is the figurehead upon which the right hangs its political hat because her philosophy is conveniently hostile to poor people and minorities. According to Rand, it is immoral to make a man contribute to the welfare of the poor, vis-a-vis taxes. This is contrary to the Christian ethos, but the followers of the alt right are so mesmerized by the smoke and mirrors of Paul Ryan and people like him that they fail to call this movement into account for its violation of the central tenets of Christianity.

"You shall give generously [to your poor brother] and your

heart shall not be grieved when you give to him, because

for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your

work and in all your undertakings."

Deuteronomy 15:10

On Facebook and other social media, I have had too many conversations with supporters of the lies of the alt. right mouthpieces who blame everyone's troubles on lazy, criminal poor people, minorities, and the like.

When faced with hard facts that disprove the myth of "massive fraud in the disability system," for instance, supporters resolutely cling to the lies. The payoff for believing poor-hating propaganda is too great to give it up, since those lies serve to elevate the status of the common man without any effort - somewhat like the video games that allow us to be big winners by the flick of a finger on a button. To be a winner, without having to bend one's head to any authority, without having to accept inconvenient truths that emphasize our lack of status, and without exerting a lot of effort, is too heady a wine for people who have chaffed under the annoying limitation of being ordinary for such a long time. Why accept facts when the lies let us believe that the poor are to blame for all our difficulties?Having a scape goat that possesses less power than we do allows us to look down upon them and pretend to some superiority. It is also far easier to withdraw assistance from the poor than to reclaim the ill-gotten gains of the wealthy.

"For all those who exalt themselves shall be humbled,

and those who humble themselves shall be exalted."

~Luke 14:11~

The psychology of Christianity is brilliant. People of real religious faith and comprehension already know this, but it also stands the test of objective examination. We can reject selfishness, not just because Jesus said so, but because it doesn't produce good fruit for humanity as a whole. We can embrace modesty and humility, not just because Jesus said to do it, but because those virtues propel us in a positive direction that is healthy for the individual as well as the group. We can share our wealth with the poor, not just because it is emphasized continually throughout the Old AND the New Testaments, but because it makes sense for the survival of our species.

The authorities upon whom one bases one's world view and activities is a clue to one's heart, so I ask you: Who is your authority? Is it Jesus, or is it Ayn Rand?

PUT ON YOUR CATHOLIC GLASSES

Morning Walk

November 5, 2017

A fair number of Catholics have put down their Catholic glasses and put on their Republican glasses instead, trading in their faith for a political ideology that they've confused as an appropriate substitute. Many appear willing to do or say anything in support of their political candidate, even if it is dishonest, uncharitable, and slanderous.

Instead of examining what is happening in the White House today, for instance, these RepubliCatholics are fixated on Hilary Clinton, who is not in any public office, is not running for office, and has not been in office for years. Social media continues to be flooded with ridiculous conspiracy theories about her. Clearly, she's not even yesterday's news. She hasn't been in any political office for at least 5 years. Why beat the dead horse?

At the same time, Robert Mueller,  a man of sterling character and reputation, is being slandered by the RepubliCatholics, who are calling for him to be fired, supposedly because of Mueller's "professional relationship" with Comey, the former head of the FBI whom Trump fired after Comey initiated the investigation into Trump Campaign ties to Russia. If one is going to have an FBI investigation, it is obvious that the FBI employees are certainly going to know one another. Are we to surmise, then, that no FBI agent can head an FBI investigation because one of them was fired by the person being investigated? That would be convenient to the person being investigated, certainly.

Read about the motion to remove Mueller HERE

These RepubliCatholics are also mad that the FBI didn't find any wrongdoing with a Uranium deal with Russia, a deal on which 7 government agencies signed off and which was not engineered by then-secretary of state, Hilary Clinton. CLEARLY, Trump devotees are clutching at straws.


Who is Bob Mueller, anyway?

As Special Counsel for the FBI's investigation into Russian interference in the campaign of 2016, Robert Mueller's mandate is to investigate "any links and/or coordination between Russian government and individuals associated with the campaign of President Donald Trump, and any matters that arose or may arise directly from the investigation." [Rod Rosenstein's letter appointing Mueller as Special Counsel.]

Mueller is a war hero. He received the bronze star for combat for his service as a Marine during the Vietnam War. He was the director of the FBI for 12 years (originally appointed by President Bush.) He has served as a U.S. Attorney, an Assistant Attorney General for the Criminal Division, and as Acting Attorney General.

He was one of the "key players" in making America safer after the 9/11 terror attack on the twin towers. [See: "Robert Mueller, Known for His Integrity, Leads Historic Investigation as it Heats up." HERE]

Mueller has a solid reputation for equanimity and nonpartisan action. Mueller's reputation is such that, if he isn't fit to lead this investigation, then no one would be. (Read the articles through the links I provided.)

This investigation isn't partisan. Mueller, like Trump, is a Republican. The investigation has found quite a few Trump Campaign officials have strong ties to Russia. This isn't "business as usual." It's bizarre for an American politician to be surrounded by people who have so many ties to Russia, an enemy state, as I detail in the next paragraph. The timing of the Republican push to oust Mueller is suspicious, to say the least.

Charges may soon be filed against Mike Flynn, Trump's former National Security Advisor, having to do with Flynn's connections to Russia. [See: "Mueller Has Enough Evidence to Charge Flynn in Russia Investigation." HERE]

Mike Flynn

George Papadopoulos has already pleaded guilty to charges stemming from his work with Russia while a member of the Trump campaign. [Read his plea agreement and underlying confession of guilt HERE.]

George Papadopoulos

Former Foreign Policy Advisor to Donald Trump

Trump's former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, charged with tax fraud and money laundering, has Russian connections and is currently under house arrest, as is his long time associate, Rick Gates, who was also on Trump's team. [Read about them: HERE]

Paul Manafort

Trump's former campaign chairman

Rick Gates

Assistant to Manafort

As Catholics, our devotion to truth should be far stronger than our attachment to any public figure, otherwise, we are in service to Satan, the father of lies. If you find yourself in the position of fighting AGAINST the truth coming out about your favorite public figure, it may be time to rethink why he is your favorite to begin with.

God save us all.

Silver Rose Parnell
Copyright (c) 2017 - All rights reserved.

PLEASE PRAY FOR THE HERMIT

Things are looking more and more bleak, and I am beginning to understand the loss of heart, faith and hope among the poor.

Today, I woke from a nap to see a strange man staring at me through my window while fondling himself with a red bandana. I freaked out, of course, jumped up from my chair and did my best to wake myself up as soon as possible. I had the typical vertigo that I get when I awake, and it took a few minutes to get my bearings and try to decide what to do. My PTSD adrenaline kicked in automatically. I was spinning around the apartment.

Eventually, I heard a voice outside my door. I opened it to find the transient leaning against the opposite wall where there was an open electrical outlet. (The painters had been using it for their multiple electrical machineries and didn't bother to reinstall the locking cap.) He was talking on his cell phone while he continued to steal the electricity from the building.

The man was about 5 feet 10 inches tall, red haired, highly freckled. He was carrying a big black backpack that was wide open and revealed what appeared very much to be a policeman's baton. You can do a lot of damage with one of those.

My automatic reaction was to yell at him and tell him to get lost. What I didn't know is that he'd been there long enough to defecate ON THE SIDEWALK near my window.

I was flabbergasted, and running hot on adrenaline. I'd called a neighbor with whom I'm friendly. She's older than I am and a little more beaten up, but I wanted some company while I walked the dog. It was time for him to do his business and I didn't feel safe in the parking lot yet.

My neighbor didn't like it that I was upset and reeling from the experience, and she attempted to calm me down by telling me to calm down, which never works,of course. I don't know why people do that. Even though it is natural to be upset about something so bizarre happening to a person, they tell you relax, even though it is stupid and impossible. Perhaps the upset makes them nervous or uncomfortable. They can't themselves remain calm in the presence of someone who has been severely jangled.

There are some circumstances under which being calm is NOT the answer. Generally, I am calm, and I enjoy it, but when transients are violating your dignity through a plate glass window and depositing feces on the sidewalk before casually stealing electricity, being calm would be rather odd, in my mind.

I had to call the maintenance man, completely oblivious that it is super bowl Sunday and that he was most certainly watching the game. He did come out during half time, and I think he is a real brick for doing it. He cleaned up the feces from the sidewalk outside my window while the police office talked to me about what had happened.

We were promised that the police would keep an eye on us tonight, with the hope that the locking plate for the electrical outlet would be fixed ASAP.

This has happened before. Whenever the plate over the electrical outlet goes missing, word gets around the homeless population and there ensues a constant stream of transients outside my door, bellowing their odd personal business into their cell phones while the cell phone charges at the same time.

I told the police officer that I understand that most of these homeless people just CANT live like the rest of us do. If you put them into an apartment, they wouldn't know how to live there. Camping out in the Bosque is preferable to some people, even in the biting cold of winter. I crochet hats for them and give them to the Joy Junction people who send their van out on the cold nights to pick up the willing homeless and take them to their facility. They give the hats to the ones who refuse to go, the ones they leave behind. It isn't just poverty that keeps them in the street or in the Bosque. It's temperament and/or insanity. I understand. I am unusual, in my own way, and, although I have no problem living indoors, I have other problems with some parts of civilization with which most people have no problem coping. Perhaps coping isn't the word, really, because for most people these things are not problems at all.

For the last three years I have been trying to find another place to live, someplace near friends who have middle class lives, near middle class grocery stores. They have comfortable old houses, with landscaping of varying pleasantness. Nothing too fancy. I like it there, in the middle of the road of life. I don't crave excitement, but rather ordinariness and calm.

These friends, with their large families and regular church attendance and duties, are special to me. They are kind to me, and loving. They have been trying to get me to live closer to them so they can help me easier, but finding something suitable and affordable has proven to be impossible, so far. After 3 years, they won't say they would give up. They are sturdier stock than that! They won't give up, but I think they may also be losing hope.

All of the affordable housing is located outside the magical realm of the nice middle class neighborhoods and grocery stores. Every single one is in an awful part of town, on a busy main street. Nothing is available in any residential neighborhood. It is almost as if it was PLANNED that way...a plan to keep the poor away from anything pretty, good, nice or decent.

I wonder if the city planners, when they think of poor people, imagine people like the man who left excrement on my sidewalk. When people talk about what to do about the poor, is it them that they think of? In reality, poor people are mostly elderly and disabled. The homeless, in reality, take up less than 1% of the poor, but they are so visible and their behavior so memorable that they overshadow the rest of us - those who know how to keep an apartment and pay our bills.

If I was a saint, I wouldn't be so distraught. I would not concern myself with my comfort. I would simply feel sorry for the man who is so broken that he would do the things he did tonight outside my window. In reality, I feel trapped and sorrowful, stuck in an ugly life that has room for these kind of atrocities. I feel incapable of wanting to rise to sainthood. I don't even WANT to be comfortable with what has happened here tonight. Not a shred of my being is interested in self-abnegation.

I think about Mother Theresa and the hardships she CHOSE. I wish I was a better person. I don't know whether or not to pray for the courage to remain here, happily, without complaint...or run screaming to some other town or state or SOMEWHERE, anywhere but here, where the stains of that man still mar the sidewalk.

It is a sad night, my friends. Please pray for the little Hermit, that I may become better than I am.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

THE LAST LEAF

Hawks nesting tree in my back yard.

I long ago developed a personal philosophy of persistence with regard to important goals. I "shake the trees" until all the leaves fall off before I give up and, naturally, throw myself on the mercy of the Lord. I accept that whatever plan I had in mind was not the plan of God and, in obedience, I give it up with great joy.

Now that it has become clear that I neither have enough money to move into a safer, more appropriate space, nor do I have the assistance of anyone who could provide me with a residence, I have only one "leaf" left on this particular tree, and that is to return to my writing career that previously provided me with some extra income.

In addition to writing for television in my early 20's,, I also worked as a reader, editor and negotiator in a small literary agency that was the west coast arm of a larger company in New York that handled book authors, mostly fiction. Thanks to this experience, I am not afraid to attempt to write and market a book (or 2 or 3.) While I inspire, educate and entertain, I may also be able to purchase a hermitage that is suited to my needs. That is the hope.

Some research is needed, as at least one of the novels is based on historical fact. Internet access is also crucial, and I have finally settled upon a fairly reasonable plan that has a 2-year contract at that rate. Naturally, the installation fee and first bill is just awful, $234.00. Anyone who would like to contribute a portion of that fee is most welcome to click on the DONATION button on the right hand side of this blog post. There are also some reference books I need to get. I'll be checking with the library to see if they have any of these and, if I find one through that route, I will take the title off the wish list.

I have learned a bit about humility since becoming disabled and poor and having to beg for necessary items, but I hope that I have learned that lesson to the satisfaction of the Lord and that the current plan works so that I can be less of a burden upon the world. I keep reading that some people think that poor people enjoy their poverty and enjoy begging and being a drag upon the resources of the world. Speaking entirely from a personal point of view, I find it hard to believe this to be true in even a small way. But I digress.

Having to continually have my mind directed to the crushingly boring minutiae of survival in modern America is excruciatingly frustrating. Certainly, I live much better than natives in many parts of the continent of Africa, and I know that. No matter who you are, there will always be someone who is far worse off than you. I don't feel sorry for myself in the slightest. I am damn grateful for the many compensatory blessings bestowed on me by the Lord. But there are needs that are unmet. Medical dental and vision needs remain, Emotional needs remain, ministerial needs remain. Intellectual needs remain.

No man lives by bread alone, and I do not wish for anyone that they should have a barren life with only enough to keep their body alive. This isn't what God intended for ANY of us. What a grim vision!  Yet, many people of means truly believe that the needy should be satisfied with the very most meager of needs, such as cheap unhealthy food, air, and a roof of some sort. It is usually the wealthy who entertain the ideas that poor people are lazy and should get a damn job already. The wealthy are notoriously stingy, for the most part.

I have found that people of modest means are the most generous, the most kind, the most charitable and giving of any group of people, so I thank these people in advance, and I admire said people for having absorbed the message of Jesus, that we should love one another as much as we love ourselves.

Unfortunately, those of modest means, though generous, cannot always help in practical terms, so I pray especially for these people who have made themselves known in my life. I know most certainly that the Lord has sent them to me as personal messengers of his Love.

Currently, I am working on trying to organize and clean the house, which is quite difficult with my disabilities, but I am doing my best to create storage areas and methods of cleaning that do not take a lot of time and effort so that I can best devote myself to my writing. I will keep in touch vis-a-vis this blog and my Facebook page. I REALLY enjoy hearing from people, especially those who are also attempting to live a life devoted entire to the Lord.

Living a life devoted entirely to God while at the same time struggling to clean one's house and do all the other things that take 4 times longer than they did prior to full disability, is not an easy feat. I have been helped tremendously by a little book called THE PRACTICE OF THE PRESENCE OF GOD about saintly Brother Lawrence, who dedicated all his work amongst the cleaning of the pots and pans in the monastery to the Lord above, since he was not considered able enough to either sing in the choir or become a priest. Remaining a "lowly" brother, he attained great sanctification by performing feats that others thought were beneath them.

I too have many difficulties in attempting to perform all the religious rites I would like to do, so I offer up all those things that prevent me from doing so. There is also a wonderful little prayer from THE PIETA PRAYER BOOK called: "PRAYER FOR DAILY NEGLECTS." I recommend it highly. Often, I neglect to pray it, I am so disorganized at times, but once I DO pray it, I hope it covers the many times I have failed to do my duty.

At the very least, I keep my mind with the Lord, his saints and angels, and I recommend it to you, while I recommend YOU to all of them.

I will let you know how the book progresses, and I will be praying for you, as I hope you pray for me.

Love and blessings,
Silver Rose

MILKING THE SYSTEM

Chart showing distribution of entitlement benefits from data obtained

from:

the Office of Management and Budget,

The U.S. Department of Agriculture

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,

The U.S. Department of Labor

and

The U.S. Census Bureau

It seems like every time we approach a new election period, unscrupulous politicians start belittling the poor and claiming that there is "massive fraud in the Welfare system" and that the poor are "milking the system." They actually have the nerve to blame the poor for the awful economy and perpetuate the myth that we are all living the life of luxury. Social Security payments, for those who worked enough to qualify, average $1,000 a month. Supplemental Security is a maximum of $560 a month.

The first thing I point out to anyone who will listen is that less than 3% of all entitlement monies that are paid out are given to able-bodied people who choose not to work, yet the entire demographic of poor people is painted with the idea that there are massive numbers of criminals who have managed to scam their way into "the system" and are getting rich. There is absolutely no proof of this, of course, but who needs proof when people are so ready to buy this rotten lie? Selfish people want to believe this because it justifies their reluctance to help the poor that they deem undeserving.

This readiness to believe these wild claims against the poor and to use them as justification for reducing or eliminating assistance is the antithesis of the Christian message.

Jesus says: "If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, give him your coat as well."

Matthew 5:40

Notice that he DOESN'T say to fight like the Devil to keep him from getting your coat, nor does he say that you should make sure that the person is deserving of your shirt or your coat. This particular quote is about one's enemy.  How much more giving does Jesus expect us to be when it comes to His beloved poor?  The Bible is full of references to our expected generosity toward the poor:

In Deuteronomy 15, it says, "Therefore I command you, 'You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land."

In Mark 10, when the rich man asks Jesus what he must do to follow Him, Jesus says, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."

In Luke 6, He says, "But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation."

Again, in Mark 10, He says, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God."

Notice that, in our sinful world, it is the rich person who is given great credit and adulation, who is served and fawned upon. The rich feel superior because of this and look down upon the poor, making them squirm and cry for every pittance. The rich are loathe to give any of their riches to the poor, but instead take the money from the labors of the poor.

In Proverbs 19, we read, "Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed."  The Lord is watching how we treat the poor and will treat us with the same generosity we exhibit toward them.

In Matthew 25, we are told, "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me."  When we defame the poor, we defame Jesus.  When we help to supply the needs of the poor, we are supplying Jesus with what He needs.

In Luke 3, He says, "Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise."

In Luke 12, He admonishes his followers to "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions," telling them once more that the Christian life is not about how much riches one can retain.

In Proverbs 21, we learn that, "He who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be answered."  Enlightened self-interest would be enough to encourage us to respond to the poor with compassionate kindness and to supply their need, what to speak of Christian charity and love!

Instead of listening to politicians who have their own agendas, we need to look to the Bible and to the Catholic faith for guidance in this matter of how we treat the poor.

As far as the rumors of "massive fraud" by the poor, that has not been proved.  There are, however, criminals in every walk of life. The only difference between the rich criminals and the poor ones is that the rich steal MORE from us than the poor ever could. .It is ludicrous to punish 97% of the poor people because some of the remaining 3% might be dishonest!

Catholics, take note:  Here is the official position of the Catholic Church with regard to the government's care for the poor:

"The function of the rulers of the state,

moreover, is to watch over the community 

and its parts; but in protecting private

individuals in their rights, chief considera-

tion ought to be given to the weak and 

the poor.  "For the nation, as it were, of

the rich is guarded by its own defenses

and is in less need of governmental protection,

whereas the suffering multitude, without the

means to protect itself, relies especially on the

protection of the State.  Wherefore, since

wageworkers are numbered among the great mass

of the needy, the State must include them under

its special care and foresight."

Quadragesimo anno Encyclical on

Reconstruction of the Social Order

His Holiness Pope Pius XI

May 15, 1931

Here is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church has to say about the poor:

2446 "Not to enable the poor to share in our goods is to steal

from them and deprive them of life.  The goods we possess are

not ours, but theirs.  The demands of justice must be satisfied

first of all; that which is already due in justice is not to be offered

as a gift of charity." ... "When we attend to the needs of those in

want, we give them what is theirs, not ours.  More than performing

works of mercy, we are paying a debt of justice."

Note: "The goods we possess are not ours, but theirs." We do not have the right to make these poor people jump through hoops and perform some dog-and-pony show to prove that they are worthy of receiving what is already theirs to begin with!

If you decide to spread the gospel of the greedy politician and help him to spread scandal and lies about the poor, then you are free to do so.  This is America.  But know, when you do that, you are stepping away from the Christian faith and into another world.

Silver Rose Parnell

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