MEDITATION ON JOB

Our old Catholic Church in Old Town, Albuquerque

(copyright (c) Silver Parnell)

For some time now, my life has taken on a tinge of terrible. Whatever can go wrong, does go wrong, no matter how right I behave. I had started to become glum. Was I under some kind of curse? Was I being punished?

Never to be one who gives up easily, I put aside these depressive ideas and practiced my "breathe and smile." I centered myself and, in an orderly fashion, began to clean the kitchen, reciting the Jesus prayer in my heart, while I slowly washed the dishes, pots and pans.

Breathe and smile. Breathe and smile.

"Lord, Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy upon me, a poor sinner."

Breathe and smile. Breathe and smile.

"Lord, Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy upon me, a poor sinner."

The story of Job came to mind, unbidden. Job's life went wonky, not because he was a bad person, not because he was saddled with sin, but because The Lord was so confident of Job's love for him that he let Satan test him and do horrible things to him. Satan thought he could turn Job away from God, but God knew better.

God used Job to help him give a lesson to Satan.

Meditating on this wonderful reminder brought a spontaneous smile to my lips, and I returned to the dishes.

Breathe and smile. Breathe and smile.

"Lord, Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy upon me, a poor sinner."


God bless us all
Silver

HOW ARE YOU?

Close up of the table in the prayer corner

(c) 2016

"How are you?" is the hardest question for me to answer because I am always wonderful in the most important sense. I have been graced by the Lord with faith and many other blessings. I have the promise of heaven, if I follow the commandments of Jesus. What could be better?

When people ask me, "how are you?" however, they are usually asking about the conditions of my life, what is HAPPENING since the last time we spoke, and THIS is very often "bad" news that would customarily indicate that I was not doing well at all. There is a whole litany of sorrows I could recite. When some people hear about the bad news, such as the current question of cancer and whether or not the impending biopsy will reveal it, they assume that I am doing badly. I WOULD be doing badly, I suppose, if not for the beauty of my faith and the promises of Christ!

How do I answer the person? Should I give the same answer every time and say that I am wonderful, or should I catch them up with the news of the moment. I suppose it depends upon the character of the person to whom I am speaking, and whether or not they also identify their wellbeing with their spiritual life rather than the happenings of their life.

Most of the saints had horrible lives. Contrary to the popular "new age" religions and some protestant denominations, no matter how "good" you are, the pains and sorrows of life will likely visit you.

Personally, it has been my observation that, the more faithful you are to the commandments of Christ, the more problems you have. I suspect that Satan has something to do with this. He tries to drive a wedge between us and our Lord by pestering us with sorrows. He promises us all sorts of comforts and enjoyments if we would only give up our devotion to the Lord and live a more selfish life.

The story of Job is a perfect example of this. Satan, in his tremendous ego, told God that he could wrest Job's soul away from the Lord if only enough sorrows would be visited upon him. The Lord told him to go ahead and try. He knew Job and knew that he would not abandon his faith. Job remained faithful to the Lord, despite every conceivable sorrow and misery that Satan heaped upon him.

It isn't that we don't benefit from the sympathy, compassion and prayers of other Christians when life deals us its inevitable blows. No one is that stoic. We are meant to console one another, to grieve with those that grieve and rejoice with those that rejoice. Our connections with other Christians are encouraged by the Lord. He told us that he would be with us when 2 or more were gathered in his name. In our resistance to the wiles of Satan, we NEED the support and prayers of one another.

THIS is why I lead a life of continuous prayer, especially for the purification and healing of The Church and the reunion of the Orthodox with the Catholic Church. WE are part of the body of Christ and need to pull together. Our mutual support may or may not produce situational healing in the lives of one another, but certainly heals the soul.

In short, I am doing just wonderful, but please pray for me, as I pray for you.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose Parnell

PRAY FOR MY DOG

Saint Rose of Lima

I have had a sweet little service dog for the last 6 years.  Her name is Coco, and she is dying of cancer.  Every day she sleeps more and more.  Our evening walks have become little jaunts, once around the building, and then she is straining to get into the back door so she can lay down again.  Soon, I will have to take her to the veterinarian's office, and then I will have to get another service dog.

I realize it may sound a little abrupt, that I will get another dog so soon, but I am not sleeping throughout the night, just like I did before Coco came into my life.  Without a dog to stand guard and hear the noises of the boogey man, I am vigilant, alert, waiting.  I have post traumatic stress disorder.  Sleep disturbances are common for people like me.  Often, I am awake all night, despite taking all kinds of sleep medication.  Finally, at 6 a.m., I go to sleep.  The vigil is over.

I pray for healing, but it does not come - not yet - maybe never.  I am not unhappy about that.  I trust in the Lord to do what is right.  Faith in the Lord does not necessarily erase all the difficulties.  If anything, they can sometimes increase because Satan is afoot and he hates people who have serene faith in the Lord.  He tries to shake us up, as he tried with Job.

People become confused and think that if we, as disabled people, have so many difficulties, physical, mental and financial, that we must be terribly unhappy, but this is not necessarily so.  As contemplatives, moving through our day, through our problems, our pains and our sadness, we are walking with Jesus and Mary, the saints and the angels.  If we keep our mind on the Lord and our heart open to Him all day, we are at prayer no matter what we are doing, whether we are caring for a sick dog, washing dishes, or sitting quietly by a window.

Spiritual life is full of contradictions.  How I can be grieving for my dog and full of joy at the same time is a mystery.  I don't understand the mechanism of this condition, but I accept it gratefully and hope that it continues.  But I still need your prayers, so please pray for my dog, that she has no pain, no distress and no fear, but that she will slip away peacefully and naturally in her sleep.  Please pray that I have the strength to get through this traumatic event, yet another death in the litany of death that has been chanted in my life over the last few years when my father and then my only child died.  I, in turn, also pray for you, because I know that you are going through your own versions of the trials of Job and, like me, you are quietly joining yourself with the Lord to get you through the trauma.

As part of the body of Christ, I am with you also.

Silver Rose Parnell