IT'S ALL GOOD - HOLY WEEK FOR THE HOME BOUND

 

DISABILITY ON TOP OF DISABILITY

Thanks to my dog going nuts when he spied another dog on the other side of the fence, my arm was nearly wrenched from its socket, and today I woke up with upper back pain that prevents me from doing almost anything physical, so I have decided to catch up with my diary blog and tell you all what has been happening the last week or two. I hope you have time to sit down for a cup of tea and a chat.

THE LORD DEMONSTRATES WHERE HE WANTS ME TO GO

I thought I was being smart a couple years ago when I spent some birthday money on a "guitalele" which is a large 6-string ukelele that sounds like a guitar with a capo on the 5th fret. This is how I always used to tune my guitars for singing, when I was younger, because my voice is higher than the typical key in which guitars are tuned. I never played with anyone else, so the change in key is not of much import. I figured I could play the guitalele just like I used to play the guitar, and this way, when I lose the rest of my vision, I could keep myself busy with something creative that does not require my eyes. It was intended to be a replacement for my painting.

In addition to the guitar, I had gotten a chord book and a music book of Gregorian Chant (religious music) written specifically for the guitalele.

What I HAD NOT counted on was the return of a wicked case of carpal tunnel that my doctor now says needs me to either give up the new guitalele or have carpal tunnel surgery.

Now, the last time I had surgery at UNM, it was for a growth on the bone of a finger on my left hand, and I woke in the middle of the surgery to find the anesthesiologist reading his telephone instead of watching my vitals!

I looked down at the anesthesiologist who was sitting on a low stool, reading and said, "Hey! Put me back to sleep!"  Without a word, he just turned around and moved a switch, at which point I konked out. Considering that experience, I am not keen to have surgeries that are not absolutely essential.  I have been spoiled you see, having lived in Southern California and received world class medical and dental care.

So now I am tasked with trying to sell this guitalele, and unlike California, where it has been, in the past, VERY easy to sell musical instruments (or pretty much anything) I am getting NO bites from the sign I placed on the post office carousel in the middle of the apartment.

I used to bemoan the inability to sell anything in this town, whether it is my home-made jewelry to a local shop or my nicely maintained second-hand items at a garage sale or on the internet or at my parish store in the middle of tourist town or WHEREVER. I long ago realized that, ever since giving my life to The Lord, he really did take me at my word and he guides me into doing what He wants me to do by making everything else impossible!  

I refuse to grumble. I have learned that God has me especially in hand and that the way he guides me to what he wants me to do is exactly in this fashion: He makes everything else impossible.

This is how dense I am. I cannot figure out God's will for me on my own, so he has to show me.

I will put the guitalele back in the corner with the music stand and will play it sometime further down the road, when the wrist is not so compromised.  Or perhaps God has in mind someone to whom he wants me to give this thing. We shall see, I am not going to get mad about spending my birthday gift on something that I can neither use nor sell. I won't berate myself at the WASTE of it all. Instead, I will just move forward.

At this point, The Lord has erected blockades across so many of my paths that I am beginning to get the idea that he wants me to do nothing but pray to Him. It is entirely possible.

THE RULE OF LIFE IS FINALLY IN BLACK AND WHITE

During Lent, I hadn't been writing much, as I had spent most of my time praying, meditating, and working on perfecting my Rule of Life, which I am finally putting to paper, thanks to a timely reminder in one of Father Ripperger's videos about the necessity for it. Threading the needle between the disabilities that often interfere with my schedule, and the great amount of time that is nonetheless available for spiritual practices despite these disabilities, has proven to be somewhat of a challenge. I have to strike a balance between practical leniency on the one hand, and necessary intellectual and spiritual rigor, on the other.

I have been really enjoying dedicating this time to my religious studies and practices, and listening to YouTube homilies and conferences. In addition to the daily "Bible in a Year" and "Catechism in a Year" tutorials that I am using to "brush up" in those two areas, I found some wonderful talks by an extremely erudite and mystically inclined priest by the name of Father Ripperger.

INTRODUCTION TO FATHER CHAD RIPPERGER:

Father Chad Ripperger, Phd.

Catholic Priest, Exorcist, Writer, Philosopher

                                                                                                                                                                                                              I am too disabled to travel to consult with them, but somehow having this special priest residing relatively close to my hermitage in New Mexico has made me very happy. Once you listen to some of his talks, perhaps you will understand why.

I particularly enjoy the teachings that he gives about the various levels of mystical prayer and spiritual life in general. Everything he talks about reminds me of the reasons and incentives that I had to become Catholic, so many years ago,when I read the works by and about the Catholic mystics, such as Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal, the Desert Fathers and Mothers, and various Catholic saints.

The breadth of his knowledge is so wide that it is hard to describe the variety of teachings that he is able to give, with apparently very few notes. He has confirmed for me many of my own self-diagnoses, as far as the defects of my spiritual state, but this is the good news because he also freely gives the remedies. His talks on genealogy and the defects that can be passed down in the family as a result of evil interference, such as from the Masons, has been fascinating, particularly since I am descended from saints - until a few generations ago, when Masons married into that family line, and ever since then, our family has been strongly anti-Catholic. We used to be SAINTS, ages ago. Evidently, the Masonic philosophy is terribly evil. My mother, who was cruel to me, was involved in it and was a member of the Rainbow Girls.

Through the study of his talks, I have learned some new prayers, as well as practices that will benefit my spiritual progress, and I have also begun to develop a love for Our Lady of Sorrows, who he describes wonderfully in a YouTube video, which I will link just below this:

FR. RIPPERGER'S TALK ABOUT OUR LADY OF SORROWS - CLICK HERE

I encourage everyone to Google Fr. Ripperger and meander through the topics. Find one that appeals to you, and settle in for a really interesting talk.

Now, I must warn you, however, that I disagree with him on a couple of issues, so I want you to be prepared and hopefully not be put off. I hope you'll ignore any disagreement you might find with him so you can hear what he has to say that IS very valuable and much more important. One of those things that many people will disagree with is his version of politics, because the videos I have seen, so far, appear to confirm that he may have been substantially influenced by far right wing Republicans since he uses the exact wording of some false pseudo-logic, and he misdiagnoses social programs as "socialism" when, in fact, social programs are present in many different types of governments but have no role in defining "socialism."  The primary defining feature of "Socialism" is a system in which the government owns "all means of production." In other words, there are no privately owned businesses and manufacturers in a socialist system.  We do not have anything resembling that, nor am I aware of any politician who is recommending that we get rid of all privately owned businesses and turn them over to the government! It is just not something that appeals to any of us, that I can tell.

I will just segue into the political for a moment in order to explain further:

CATHOLICS SHOULD FREELY ASSUAGE THE PLIGHT OF THE POOR

I think Fr. Ripperger and also Fr. Mike Shmitz and others of their ilk will say that it is far more desirable that Catholics would be widely and freely charitable so that the needs of the poor would be addressed by the free will of Catholics rather than by the government. Fr. Mike Shmitz even goes so far as to say that using taxpayer funded monies to address the needs of the poor is "evil."  I've heard this from him in more than one of his talks. Saying that social programs are "evil" is ridiculous - especially because the reason why we have had to resort to taxpayer funded social programs is because the Church and Christians did NOT take care of the needs of the poor during the MANY years before Social Security, when the poor had need of it! The government finally had to step in. It hasn't even been 100 years that we have had Social Security. ALL of that prior history, the poor were left to their own devices, primarily.

SO - as much as it may be technically correct that Catholics should freely give so that the plight of the poor may be addressed, I would just say that history needs to be given its due. I have yet to hear how Catholics will be made to do this when they have never done it before.  Not only THAT, but these days, while the government is not doing enough to remedy the needs of the poor, as evidenced all around us with the homeless and other destitute populations, Catholics today have not remedied the dire need that remains.

In my own personal life, I have a lovely Catholic friend who does everything she can to help me, but she is the only one. One person cannot do it all...and Social Security is simply not enough.

Until the Catholics can say, "look, we have taken up all the slack and we are prepared to do more," it is a bad idea to eliminate the social programs that are keeping many of us alive. It would also be necessary to address some of the root causes of poverty, such as the unethical tax structures that keep the rich getting richer, as well as the artificially reduced wages.

ARE WE BECOMING SOCIALIST?

The far right, in particular, is fond of accusing people of being "socialists" when it is not true. They must have studied what socialism IS. Heck, all you need to do is look it up in a dictionary and it clearly says:

SOCIALISM

"A theory or system of social organization that advocates the
ownership and control of the means of production and 
distribution, capital, land, etc. by the community as a whole,
usually through a centralized government."

Far right politicians fling that word "socialism" around in order to try and manipulate the vote. They want to sway public opinion against social programs that are paid for by equitable tax systems, so they call anyone who advocates for fair wages and tax structures as "socialists." This cynical name-calling has become so common that even people who do know better and would be better served to use the correct labels for their beliefs will use "socialism" to mean a government that uses substantial social programs to help its citizens. I am thinking of Bernie Sanders when I say this.

Anyway. I could go on about this, it's just that every time any priest, whether it is Father Ripperger or Fr. Mike Shmitz, opines about social programs by saying that they are "evil" and that it involves using "someone else's money" to pay for social programs, it makes me cringe because it may turn off some people to his primary message. The problem for him, with regard to the cliche that it is "someone else's money" that is being used is that this is simply not true.  Here is why:

IT IS NOT "SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY"

Right wing politicians have managed to keep workers' wages very low over the last 60 years, while outrageously inflating corporate profits and the income of the wealthy, as well as giving them incredible tax breaks, especially on capital gains. Over the last 60 years, they have redistributed the wealth of the USA so that the people who actually do the work do not share in the wealth created by that work. Something like three people now own more wealth than the bottom half of our country combined!  Here is how they did it:

In this graph, created with figures obtained from the Department of Labor, we see how the income of the wage earners has barely moved, only increasing 26% between the years 1970 through 2005, but the corporate profits have increased 250% and the CEO salaries have increased 430%! You can practically SEE the money being pushed up the pyramid.

As a result of this redistribution of wealth, the money that should have gone into the pockets of the workers who created the wealth has been put in the pocket of the rich guy at the top of this vile pyramid. Taxing the wealthy guy who took my money that I earned with my work addresses a grave injustice, a real THEFT, but now the GOP politicians and some RepubliCatholics are screaming that, somehow, the politicians on the left are trying to "redistribute wealth" by stealing rich people's money. It's a huge scam.

I am addressing this side issue in some detail because I don't feel comfortable just saying that Fr. Ripperger is spouting some Republican talking points that aren't true without backing up my position with facts. 

I dearly wish that he wasn't on board with the far right because that's where the conspiracy theorists and the violent January 6th insurrectionists live. I know that his position on this will be offputting to many who have had to struggle with the unfair tax systems and the artificially suppressed wages that the Republicans have squashed for decades. Unfortunately, priests and other religious are often at least one step removed from normal life, and they have a type of security and support that the wage earners will not have, so that they do not experience the nitty gritty of insecurity in the same way that you and I have done.  

I HAVE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF THIS

I can contribute anecdotal, subject experience with being a wage earner during all the above years - at least until 2003, and every year it became harder and harder to make enough money to support myself. The inflation went up considerably more than my wages and, while my bosses were buying a SECOND vacation home (their third residence) so that they could go skiing every year during the winter, I was struggling to put food on my table. As a result, when I had to retire in my late 40's because of disability, I had NO savings to bring into retirement and help me. HALF of the American people will be in the same position when they retire - they will have NO savings to supplement their Social Security that we are now told is going to run out of money.  

THE REASONS SOCIAL SECURITY IS RUNNING OUT OF MONEY:

Predominantly, the tax structure benefits the wealthy who pay the same tax as someone who earns $150,000 a year. Raising the cap so that the wealthy pay the same percentage of their income into Social Security as the rest of us do would fund Social Security for at LEAST 75 years.  If there was NO "cap" on contributions and it was a straight percentage for everyone, we could fund it until the sun burns out.

Secondarily, BOTH parties have "borrowed" from Social Security in years' past and no one ever paid back the money. I find this infuriating because they weren't supposed to be able to take our money like that. When Social Security was first proposed, it was a rule that the government could not use our money for anything else. Gee...wonder what happened to THAT!

SHOULD MEN BE IN CHARGE OF THE WORLD AGAIN?

The other area that some people will find issue with Fr. Ripperger is his strong opinion that men should be in charge of everything, especially families, and that women should just be obedient. He also makes comments about women talking too much - or at least talking too much to the wrong people, i.e., men, because the verbal skills of women are meant for the benefit of the children, whose brains are formed in response to the constant babble of their mother's voices.  This is according to him. It looks like he has combined Biblical injunctions against women talking in church with some research projects he may have read that speak to how babies need the speech of their mothers. Since he is a man, it does smack a bit of wishful thinking to me. I am betting he is not fond of listening to women talk or having conversations with them. That's my guess, based upon these things he has said in some of his talks.

On the other hand, I have remarked in years past that SOMEONE has to have the final word in a relationship or the fight never ends and decisions cannot be made on the most important topics.

But a system that gives men these kind of absolute rights over women often results in women being brutalized. Of course, women can be brutalized in an entirely free society. I have experienced this several times. 

Then too, If you don't want a man to be in charge over you, one can always choose not to have a husband, but then you are outside of any protective structure at the same time. This is true even now. Being a single woman in our society, especially in the arenas in which families are emphasized, such as the Catholic Church, puts one on the OUTS. If you are also, at the same time, unsuitable for convent life, you are really on your own and, I think, rather vulnerable, especially as you age. 

The fact is that we DO live in a patriarchal society. Men have always been more forceful and insistent on getting their way, and women are, for the most part, less interested in dominating.  So, it may be just one of those inconvenient facts of life and the natural law. Anyway, those are my conflicting thoughts on that topic.  I am just preparing you for his opinion.

Father Ripperger makes the point in one of his talks that the Lord would not have told us to "become perfect" if it was not possible, but it is only possible with the help of God's grace, and His grace descends in response to our progress in estabishing ourseles in virtue.

Our entire purpose in life is to become virtuous, as much as is possible with our efforts and God's grace, and to spend eternity in Heaven with The Lord. The greater our virtues, the closer we will be to Our Lord in that Heavenly realm.

I am learning from him that, in order to combat the many defects that I have, I have to work to obtain the corresponding virtue. For instance, gluttony. I am far too interested in food. It has always been a problem, and now that I am disabled and mostly home bound, it is very difficult to get a handle on it. In order to combat this, though, I must learn how to be better with fasting - the virtue that conquers gluttony - so throughout Lent, I have redoubled my efforts to fast and abstain, despite my age and medical conditions which obviate those obligations. It is because I am not obligated that I feel compelled that I do it.

Before I read all the Catholic mystical literature, I had no idea that Catholicism had such a vast wealth of mystical, transcendent inspiration. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, and the Desert Fathers and Mothers, among many others, shifted my consciousness. I was in the Hindu convent (Vedanta) at the time, and it was inconvenient when I fell in love with Jesus and His church, especially for the Swami, who had forced the nuns to accept me after more than a year of them putting me off. He grew frustrated with their jealousy. It was unseemly.

But I digress - ONCE AGAIN!

I HAVE tried to get involved in SOME kind of church activity during Lent, but it is nearly impossible. I am having trouble walking, and I am not able to sit in one place for all that long, either, especially on hard wooden seats. It isn't a matter of simple discomfort. I have MORPHINE for that, but it is a matter of being able to rise and walk if I sit too long. That is the issue.

I have been calling my parish since last NOVEMBER, asking for the eucharist to be resumed, post Covid, and after many many phone calls, I finally gave up. But I was wrong to do that. I should never grow tired of seeking it.

Because I cannot walk very far, crowded churches with limited handicap parking spots have no remedy for me. I have tried to find someone who could take me to church, but no one is in the mood to help. Volunteers have either not returned to church or have stopped going altogether. There is also NO parking at my parish church because it is in "Old Town," the tourist center of Albuquerque. They have a tiny piece of a parking lot behind the old church, and it is for the use of the priest and the office staff, for the most part. Occasionally, if I call ahead of time, I can get a permit to park back there, but this means that I have to go to church TWICE - once to pick up the placard and another time to actually USE it because the office is closed on the weekends. When I DID try attending a Saturday afternoon mass, the only one practical for me, due to crowds, it was an extremely long walk from the car to the inside of the church, and I nearly collapsed on the way in. Then, when I left, I had to exit through the front, so as not to inconvenience the folks up at the altar, and it was a very long trip around and around the church and back to the parking lot.

I have no one to take me to church. I just don't know that many people in Albuquerque because I became disabled shortly after moving here. Otherwise, I might be able to get a ride.  But, even then, people who tend to be willing to do charitable things like give rides to disabled old ladies often get called upon to do all kinds of things that require them to stay at church after the service is over, whereas I am ready to scream from the pain of sitting for an hour on a hard bench and I am more than ready to go home, once the mass has ended. 

A friend and I went to confession, though, during the first week or so of Lent. She drove us to a church halfway across town, and we were lucky to grab an empty parking spot of the 4 that were available. In a very short time, the other three were taken.

Before confession, I mentioned my dilema to the priest, and he told me, "sometimes we don't answer the phone. You have to keep calling."  He was right, of course. So, being obedient, when all is said and done, I DID resume the phone calls to my parish, and I kept leaving messages, with no response.  Finally, one day, the office actually answered the phone. She said I was "on her list" to call - I'd only been leaving messages for the last 5 months! It turns out that it won't be until sometime after Easter that they will get to me - if it happens at all. The thing is, the parish that is designated my area parish HAS to be the one that brings me the eucharist, according to the rules, which makes sense.  But I have heared from workers at other parishes that many people come to them, complaining that our parish just doesn't answer phone calls and they are very disorganized. But they used to have 3 people in the office, and now there is only 1, and she is beside herself with all the work. If only I was healthy, I would have been so happy to help out.

IT'S ALL GOOD

One of the topics that Fr. Ripperger discussed on one of the MANY videos I've listened to on YouTube is the attitude that one has to adopt with regard to negative life circumstances.  Many people assume that if you are devoted to the Lord and follow through with the prayers and meditations and whatnot, that He would make things go well for you.  Well, that's not the way things work, it turns out. Remember Job, and what an excellent devotee he was, yet the Lord allowed Satan to turn his world upside down. NOTHING went right for that poor man. And everyone was clueless.  Even his friends, who should have known what a devout person he was, suggested that he must have committed many sins to warrant such adversities being visited on his head. Folks will sometimes try to blame the person for unearned troubles. It is easier than being sympathetic, I suppose.

From very early childhood, I have been assailed by cruel fortune, which grew worse and worse over time until today, when I am in constant pain. It has been a neverending stream. WHATEVER has been happening to me in this long and cruel life, it is an expression of God's goodness and grace so that I may become as virtuous as possible and will not be out of place near Him in Heaven. I console myself with the knowledge that the lifetime of affliction I have endured is what has been necessary to purify my soul for union with Him, thanks be to God!

I know a person who complains constantly about the amounts they have to pay for the things that go wrong in their life, without thought for the fact that they have all the remedies at their disposal with which to answer whatever need arises.  Gratitude is lacking. I take lesson from this. If I am ever relieved of this constant stream of sorrows, I will remember never to complain about spending all the resources I have in order to fix whatever goes wrong, since it is far superior than not having any, and I know this from experience.

In the spiritual realm, God has his reasons for allowing a flood of tribulations with no cease. He is using the pain and the trials to perfect me in some way. After all, Jesus said, "be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect." We can't do it alone, and Jesus would not say it if it was not possible, therefore His plan is at work.

GOD BRINGS GOOD OUT OF BAD

The thing I am making an effort to remember is that God uses all circumstances to bring good into my life, in some way that He is not discussing with me, so each negative circumstance IS an icon of the Good God. I have therefore started thanking God throughout the day for each pain and privation, rather than praying for Him to alleviate them.  Wheneer some pain hits me, I just say, "thank you," now, as if I have already received and/or recognized the good that He is bringing to me from these pains. It's a good thing I live alone because otherwise I'd have some explaining to do, next time I say, as I crip around my apartment on my arthritic bones, "Ouch! Thank you, Lord!"

Bless us all!

Silver Rose

CATHOLICS SHOULD STOP CONFLATING RELIGION WITH POLITICS

Annanias struck dead by the Lord

I am currently taking a couple refresher courses from Father Mike Shmitz; one on the Bible In a Year and one on the Catechism In a Year, and enjoying both of them very much. I am approaching them like college classes and being rigorous in my note-taking and really trying to "up" my knowledge base. Sometimes he talks too fast for me, but in general I feel as if I am getting a lot out of them.

Today I was offered a short video of him "responding" to one of our Representatives in the U.S. government. The headline says, "Father Mike Shmitz Responds to Alexander Asco Cortez on Socialism and Christianity."

I was immediately alarmed, as I always am when I see a Catholic personality allying himself with a political party and taking a stand against a different party.

HERE IS A LINK TO THE SHORT VIDEO

First thing, out of the gate, whoever organized this clip could not be bothered to even spell the name right.  Her name is Alexandria, not "Alexander" and her last name is Ocasio-Cortez - NOT "Asco Cortez." Sloppy and disrespectful.  How would it be if I called Father Shmitz, "that religious guy Mikey?"

After listening to the very short video, I was dismayed to find that, although the Representative for New York's 14th Congressional District had specifically made the point that she was not talking about socialism, but about taxes, and she never brought up Christianity at all, supposedly Fr. Shmitz is "responding" to her on those issues.

Children, this is called a "straw man fallacy" in classical logic, something I learned in my High School writing class, and here is the definition:

"A straw man fallacy occurs when someone takes another 
person's argument or point, distorts it or exaggerates it in 
some kind of extreme way, and then attacks the extreme 
distortion, as if that is really the claim the first person is 
making."

According to Fr. Shmitz, in the video, the U.S. Representative is talking about redistribution of wealth. She does not mention "redistribution of wealth." That is his term. She is not even discussing that topic, actually, unless you understand that the redistribution has already occurred through corporate welfare, unjust taxes systems, and artificial suppression of wages.

Here is a chart of the suppression of wages during the years I worked, plus a couple (1970 through 2005):

As is obvious in this chart, during that 35 year time period, CEO salaries increased by 430% while the average wage earner's income barely went up 26%. I well remember how hard it was to survive on my salary during those years and how IMPOSSIBLE it was to get a raise, even when our bosses announced that we would be working an extra 5 hours a week but we would not be PAID for those hours. (Figures from the Department of Labor.)

THIS is how the wealth of America has ALREADY been "redistributed." It has been and continues to be shuttled from the workers who created it to the handful of CEOs at the top of the scale and to the corporations, the profits for which went up 250% during that period. 

In addition, Fr. Shmitz, like many others, does not know what "Socialism" is. Apparently, he thinks because the word has "Social" in it, that the presence of social programs in a government system equates to "Socialism."  That is not the definition of "socialism." The use of taxes to pay for programs is not "Socialism" either.

The primary defining feature of socialism is when the government owns all means of production. No mention is made of social programs as a defining feature of socialism and many different types of government systems employ social programs.

Here is a typical dictionary definition of SOCIALISM:

"A theory or system of social organization that advocates 
the ownership and control of the means of production and 
distribution, capital, land, etc. , by the community as a 
whole, usually through a centralized government."

To my recollection, only one person in U.S. government is regularly and widely advocating for "socialism." But even Bernie Sanders, is MISusing the term "socialism" to conform to what other people THINK it is, I would guess.  He is in favor of a robust set of social programs so that the poor will not be eaten alive by the rich, as is what happens today.

Fr. Mike Shmitz says:

"There's a huge difference between Christianity and Socialism. 

Both Christians and socialists would see the plight of the world 

and be moved to compassion. Something needs to be done but 

the Christian says this, "where can I give my stuff to help the 

people in need" and the socialist says, "where can I take someone 

else's stuff and help the people in need," because one is charity, 

one is love, the other is theft. One is good and the other is actually, 

genuinely, evil."

To be clear, in this video clip, Rep. Ocasio-Cortez is arguing against unjust, abusive tax structures in which the rich pay little (if any) taxes, while the middle class and some of the poor pay the majority of taxes that keep the country afloat. Obviously, taxes pay for the military; the police; infrastructure such as roads, signs, lights, bridges, tunnels, etc.; and yes, some social programs, as well as other things.

He may not realize it, or perhaps he DOES, I am not sure, but this video, presented this way, has the priest basically saying that repairing these unjust tax structures is evil. He is trying to justify an unjust system and is gaslighting those of us who have struggled to survive during this very difficult period in our history when our just wages have been stolen from us.

He is also calling it "socialism," which it is not, as mentioned, above. I really can't believe he means to do this, and I would rather believe that he lacks the necessary education in this area or he is simply brainwashed by the Republican religion he has absorbed.  I don't know what the problem is. All I know for sure is that he is wrong and is using the same misleading talking points that the GOP talking heads are using all the time.

All he would have to do is look up the definition of "Socialism" in order for him to realize that he can not continue to spread this pernicious lie.

Why am I talking about this political stuff on a blog that is, primarily, spiritual? Because I get sick of seeing examples of how much the Catholic world has sold its soul to one particular political party. Catholics have conflated their religion with politics, and to me, that is the work of the Devil.

I have heard Catholics justify ripping children away from their parents at the border and putting them in cages erected on cement slabs, with no one to care for the screaming babies and medical care almost entirely absent, allowing flu and other diseases to run rampant. Some of those children, to this day, are not reunited with their families because they cannot be found, due to the reprehensibly chaotic and disorganized methods instituted by the Trump administration.

When non-Catholics see priests and other religious defending these horrors, defending the perpetrators, and defending the corporate welfare with which the GOP has robbed wage earners of their share of the wealth they created, it infuriates them - especially on the heels of the many horrific years of priestly sexual abuse and the coverups of those crimes.

As long as we are talking politics, let me say a couple things.

In my mind, it is not the issues on which we differ, it is the manner in which we accomplish our aims. I am QUITE sure, for instance, that there are ways to fix the immigration situation that do not involve jailing babies in cages.

If you doubt that the Trump Administration put babies and kids in cages, read this article from the atlantic:

ATLANTIC MAGAZINE - ARE CHILDREN BEING KEPT IN CAGES AT THE BORDER?

Children and families were also denied medical care and refused vaccinations. 

SEE THIS ARTICLE FROM CNBC ABOUT OUR GOVERNMENT REFUSING FLU VACCINES TO THE MIGRANTS

Also, I am opposed to abortion, but when it is illegal, it just pushes people to get "back alley abortions" and risk losing their own lives, as well as that of the child. That is not a "pro life" result. When I was a young woman, abortions were very easy to be had. They were illegal, but that did not stop anyone determined to have one.

Most women who give a reason for having an abortion cite financial inability. If we would wise up and have the same kind of pro-family social programs that they do in most of the other developed nations, such as child care, generous maternity and paternity leave, and a true living wage, women would not feel so squeezed. The way things are now, many women are forced into abortions they may not ordinarily have, simply because they lack the funds to support the pregnancy and the cost of child rearing.

Also, if our evangelization of the culture was (much) better than it is now, we could have an abortuary on every corner with rarely anyone taking advantage of their services because they believe, as we do, that every human is made in the likeness and image of God and that bringing life into the world is a blessing, not a curse.

So, you see, the difference between right and left really IS is one of METHOD. Most of us agree on the various issues, outside of how, exactly, we advocate that they be "fixed."

And, while we are talking about social programs:

According to Mike Shmitz, social programs organized by the government are "evil." So what would happen if we did not have social programs? I invite you to go to the Social Security Administration's website to read some of the heart-rending letters sent to FDR about the disabled and elderly dying of hunger and cold because there was simply no money to care for them.  Where were the good loving Christians as that time?  They were not willing to support all the old ladies, shivering in their sickbeds with empty bellies.

By what miracle can we expect the good Christians to do something different than what they did during THAT era, when there were a LOT more Christians than there are now? Those who are ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it.

Take a look at a typical letter that was received by President Franklin Roosevelt that details the plight of one such lady at THIS LINK and you will understand what we would return to if social programs were eliminated.

The entire reason we started the Social Security Insurance system was to keep that from happening again, but then BOTH parties "borrowed" from the funds (when they were originally not supposed to be able to do that) and we have the situation in which we find ourselves now, without enough funds to keep the Social Security system afloat in another 30 years.

Greed and selfishness are far more common than Christian love, it seems to me, and it is far more logical to regulate taxes to help the needy than it is to legislate demonstrations of Christian love.

 Don't get me wrong. I get help regularly from one beautiful Catholic family, and occasional surprise packages from a couple others, but if I did not have the Social Security into which I had paid for 30 years and some help with medical care from Medicaid, I would be sleeping outside with millions of other old ladies, or actually I would probably be dead because I am old and disabled, barely able to walk, lost the vision in one eye and losing the vision in the other, and have a host of other illnesses to contend with, some of which are so painful they require morphine.

History has proven that we cannot depend upon the generosity of the Christian folks to support people in their disability and old age. Take a look at the history books to get a picture of life pre-1930's. Don't just listen to the platitudes and buzz-words from either party. Those who are ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it.

Before Social Security, it was a nightmare, and there are now even fewer Christians, percentagewise, than there were before Social Security and other social programs were implemented.

I also seem to remember that in the early days of Christianity, the Christians "held all things in common."

"All the believers were together and had

everything in common. They sold property

and possessions to give to anyone who had

need."

 (Acts 2:44-45)

They were supposed to sell their property and hand over all the money that they received for it, but there was one couple, Ananias and Sapphira, who tried to hide some of the money, and when they were asked if they had given all the money, each in their turn lied and said "yes" and God struck them dead on the spot, which seems just a tad more severe than a simple tax audit, doesn't it?  (See Acts 5:1-11)

Sapphira is struck dead by the Lord

Further, in Acts 2 and elsewhere, we get a picture of how the Christians lived with one another:

"Every day they continued to meet together in

the temple courts. They broke bread in their

homes and ate together with glad and sincere

hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of

all the people. And the Lord added to their 

number daily those who were being saved."

Acts 2:46-47

It doesn't sound much like the Catholic community of today, does it? The fact is that Christians could choose to construct lives that look like early Biblical times, but they have not done so.  I continually hear my brothers and sisters angrily complaining about having to help people through taxes, but they certainly haven't gone so far as to sell everything they owned for the express purpose of helping those in need. Indeed, those social programs they complain about do not address all the needs of the poor. There is still PLENTY to do. For proof, all you have to do is take a drive through certain parts of town to see hundreds of people struggling to survive on the streets.

Homeless Camp in Echo Park

Picture from L.A. Times

I know exactly ONE person who, in addition to her taxes, makes a continuous and substantial effort to relieve the suffering of the poor and disabled. This is in addition to contributing her time and treasure elsewhere in the church. There may be more folks like her, but I've just never seen anyone, other than this friend, who does this in an intentional substantial, continuous manner.  But I DO see a lot of Christians and Catholics bellowing in public about how they should not be made to pay for anyone else's disrress. Most of those people live very comfortable lives.

And what about all those Old Testament commandments that Moses handed over from God that pertained to how they were to organize their lives and their wealth? There was ALWAYS a host of things designed for the care of the people that were in need. It ALWAYS involved the mandatory giving of other people's stuff, right? Why was that right, but social programs today are "evil?" Is it because it was GOD who ordered it and not the electorate? Because, if we have to wait for God to speak up and decree who will get help when they are hungry, a lot of people will probably starve to death while waiting to hear from Him.

I would like to see everyone do a bit more research and study about his or her political opinions and ensure the continuity of thought, with historical reality, as well as verify the underlying facts, such as the definition of "socialism." Father Shmitz could also do some thinking about what exactly is the nature of evil in regard to social programs, as long as he is going to go throwing that "evil" word around.  I mean, is it evil to HAVE social programs if not having them means more people starve to death? It's a fair question.

In my world view, going backwards, eliminating social programs, and allowing a lot more people to die unnecessarily would be the real evil.

God save us all.

Silver Rose

P.S. I am disabled and going blind and, in three months, I will be 69 years old.  As should be clear by now, Social Security is not enough to cover all my expenses, I am unable to work (though I have tried various things) and I am still in need of some help. Please consider donating to my paypal, above-right, or sending something from my Amazon wish list for food.  They have my address and can mail to me directly.

Just click HERE FOR FOOD DONATION

DONALD TRUMP IS NOT THE PROBLEM

Jesus blessing a poor man.

Donald Trump, though the current poster child for the hard right in America, did not invent the callous, heartless, and decidedly unChristian worldview with which we are currently fighting.

The policies of this president are met with joy by people who have been here all along but who, until now, have had limited power to realize their selfish and distorted world view.

I do not pretend to know, for certain, the origins of America's reversion to such primitive, tribal and harsh aspirations, but, when I think back to the infancy of this country, I see the seeds of it right there. Women were not allowed to vote. African Americans remained in slavery to rich landowners. Many of the founding fathers did not want to give voting privileges to anyone but landowners.

If you analyze the group of people who had all the rights in the beginning of our nation, it is the same group of people who are now trying to keep everyone but themselves from having any.

Even though I am functionally poor and cannot afford to buy the assistive devices and furnishings that I need to accommodate my disabilities, I STILL live much better than the poor souls who are trying to immigrate here from other countries, and this disparity in standards of living is a crucial part of the current debate on immigration. A large segment of the American population is selfish and doesn't want to help anyone. The character assassinations they employ to justify their selfishness give false witness, and are a scandal in themselves. A lot of it appears to be racist, but underneath the apparent racism, I think this selfishness is the primary fuel for the current hostility toward immigrants.

"Today the illegal migrant comes before 
us like that "stranger" to whom Jesus asks 
to be recognized. To welcome him and to 
show him solidarity is a duty of hospitality 
and fidelity to Christian Identity itself."

Pope Saint John Paul

Just look at the way we treat our OWN people! We have more than 40 million poor people in our country, but the hard right doesn't care about them. They dismiss us by saying that we all need to go to work, which is another lie because most poor people ARE working. The rest are disabled, elderly, or children. Less than 3% of people who receive entitlement income are able-bodied people that aren't working - and most of them are searching for work. Despite these facts, the hard right persists in pushing the lie that poor people are just lazy bums that need to go to work. I am quite sure there are some lazy bums among the poor, but there will always be a few people like that in the world.

Although there is a lot of talk about the hard right being "Christian" and following "Christian values," the only people they seem to care about are babies in the womb. They excuse Trump's brutal reign with all sorts of nonsense, supposedly because he will make abortion illegal, vis-a-vis conservative Supreme Court jurists.

While it appears that the hard right have sold their souls in exchange for one or two seats on the Supreme Court, their doing so is a pointless endeavor. Abortion will not likely become illegal, now that the flood gates have opened. It would be more effective to evangelize the heart while making survival a bit easier for moms, but, instead of taking care of people after they have been born, and establishing family-friendly economic systems that would assist families, the hard right advocates for cuts to food and shelter assistance, cuts to healthcare, cuts to the minimum wage, and a tax structure that caters to the ultra rich. They create an environment that is hostile to women, children, families and poor people, then criticize the people they impoverish when they are driven to abortion.

Since poor Americans are treated so shabbily by other Americans who have benefited in our culture to a greater degree, it is no surprise that they don't want to help immigrants from other countries, regardless of our completely immigrant past (except for the Native Americans.)

The idea of scarcity, that there are not enough resources to go around for everyone to be happy, is the biggest lie of all. There are a few men at the top of the socio-economic ladder who have nearly all the wealth of our nation. For years, our economic policies have shuttled all the wealth to the top of the ladder, while the people who actually do the work to create the wealth - the workers - are suffering with stagnating wages for more than 40 years! We have poverty in our country, not because the poor are lazy, but because the rich are filthy greedy. Those few men at the top of the ladder have enriched themselves unjustly at the expense of the common man, and they currently spend some of their ill-gotten gains to spread lies about the rest of us so that they can continue to rape our economy.

There is no scarcity. There is enough wealth in America so that all people may get a living wage and feed, house and clothe themselves, with a little extra for fun. There is enough wealth to help immigrants and refugees come into our country and become part of our economy. There is no scarcity. There is greed.

Many "religious" people think you cannot call yourself a Christian unless you are a Republican. The reason that this drives the rest of us crazy is because the hard right advocates for harsh policies that hurt the vulnerable, something that jesus would NEVER approve of.

Donald Trump didn't start this, though he is the lightning rod for all the animus that followers of Christ feel toward the policies and prejudices of the current administration. Trump is an icon of far right thought. His attacks on the press and the first amendment, his vulgarity, his commercialization of the office of the Presidency, his corrupt business practices, his objectification of and assaults on women, his constant lying, his long-term ties with Russian oligarchs and American mafia, his destruction of the offices of government by promoting people unqualified and/or devoted to their destruction, his extreme mental laziness that is demonstrated by his refusal to be properly briefed, his continually affirmed admiration for dictators and his repudiation of our allies - ALL of this makes us cringe. All of it is unChristian.

What really scares people who actually follow Christ is not Donald Trump. What really concerns us  are millions of people who think just as Trump does. Although he did not win the popular vote, Trump won enough votes to enable him to come to office through the quirks of the Electoral College.  Though Donald Trump lied about the crowds at his inauguration, his crowd is big enough to be of grave concern.

Donald Trump is not the problem. He represents the problem, and he does a good job of it.

Evangelization and some truth telling would seem to be in order.

Silver Rose 

THE DUMBEST GIRL IN THE ROOM

My modest garden

I've noticed since becoming disabled and retiring from salaried work that people have started treating me as if I am the dumbest girl in the room and, 15 years into retirement, it is starting to grate on my nerves.

The disdain of some is demonstrated by refusing to listen, discounting my opinions, telling me what to do, say or think, or dismissing my concerns with an imperious air usually reserved for pre-teens who have grown to big for their britches. I have reached the limit of my patience with this nonsense.

I was just as aggravated, at age 20, when people who customarily would not give me the time of day were crawling all over me, begging to be "my friend" as soon as I sold my first story to an episodic television series. That is the opposite side of the same coin. I gave up writing for television many years ago and, although I am not the slightest bit interested in people fawning all over me, I likewise object to being dismissed.

Recently, I spent the day with an acquaintance who I met subsequent to becoming disabled and who continues to treat me as a lesser being. When she arrived, I had to tell her 4 times in the span of 90 seconds to PLEASE stop petting my dog when I'm trying to discipline it. She continued to interfere, and I finally had to put the dog in the kennel. Later, she attempted to dictate how I should interact with others in several different venues.  During lunch, I politely paused to ask for her opinion about a topic, and she blurted out the most nonsensical, disjointed and unhinged stream of words that I realized she wasn't paying the slightest attention to anything I said. I pretended not to notice that she had not been listening, though it did give me a hitch in my giddyup. I couldn't imagine her behaving like this with any of her other friends and I had, indeed, seen her interact with a mutual acquaintance.

Multiply this experience a zillion times, and you will get a picture of a typical day in my life. Thank God for the few friends I have who are generous with themselves and don't treat me like I am a developmentally disabled child who is incapable of discursive thought and needs to be directed.

During my conversation with the acquaintance mentioned above, this woman let me know that she was under the impression I was on the dole and that, when my Social Security kicks in sometime during the next couple of years I would get a "bump" in income, and my finances would improve, which is completely wrong.

To put it simply, if you have substantial work history, such as I do (with 30 years under my belt), disability is simply drawing on the Social Security Insurance into which I have paid my entire working life. It is the same Social Security Insurance into which the rest of you are paying with every paycheck.

Essentially, disability causes one to begin to receive early Social Security retirement benefit. Only the monies that you've already paid into the fund are considered when determining your monthly retirement amount. The average Social Security benefit is $1,000 a month. Just try to live on a thousand dollars a month, with no help from any quarter. It is almost impossible. (I do have some friends who have adopted me as family and contribute very kindly, but it is still very difficult.) A huge number of seniors, especially those left without a mate, are struggling to survive on the pittance that Social Security gives us.

Silly Goose

You could easily do everything "right" throughout your working life, and still end up poor poor poor when it comes time to retire, giving the lie to the idea that if you are poor you have done something wrong.

If you haven't made much money in your lifetime, and your Social Security benefit is less than about $700 a month, and if your assets do not exceed $5,000 - then the government will step in with a little monthly stipend to get you up to that $700 a month. That hundred or two hundred dollars a month that the government contributes is a type of welfare, but it disappears if you get income or assets from elsewhere.

Not only do I not receive any government assistance in addition to my Social Security benefit, I also do not qualify for any other benefits except some really lousy slow internet service and a small discount on my rent in a bad part of town.

There are so many stupid and bigoted ideas floating around now about people "on disability." Most Americans are ignorant of what is meant by that. They imagine, wrongly, that all disabled people are living on WELFARE, and that is not the case. It is also wrong that people who ARE receiving welfare are cheating the system and are freeloaders.

Medical and mental illnesses are private matters, and no one is obligated to reveal any of it to anyone. Many people will expend a great deal of effort to hide mental illnesses, especially, and they would rather the public believe they are freeloaders than to have anyone know the nature of their illness. Having gone through the disability determination process myself, I am confident that "fakers" are few and far between. The criteria is rigorous. Recently, countless stories of people with serious, verifiable illnesses that cannot get approval from the medical board have come to light. Apparently, it is becoming harder and harder to get assistance, and many Americans become completely destitute, then fall into homelessness while waiting for benefits.

Americans criticize other cultures for caste systems and class systems, but we are the worst hypocrites about this topic. The underlying belief of most Americans seems to be that you are less of a person if you aren't financially well off.

No matter why one is poor, it is assumed that you must be stupid, because if you were smart, you would be rich. Calvinism is very strong in the hearts of many Americans. They tend to believe that good people are rewarded financially. If you do not have money, then you must not be good - or intelligent - or worthy.

Being egalitarian by nature and philosophy (as well as the lessons of Christ), it is my firm conviction that we should treat everyone with equal respect, whether rich or poor and regardless of the source of their income. Human beings are not animals, contrary to the proclamations of Donald Trump (who keeps calling immigrants "animals" these days.)

The happiest countries on the planet, for many years running, are the Nordic countries that have very strong social programs that guarantee you will retire on 80% of your former salary (instead of the 20% we typically give.) They also have free college, day care for the children, free medical care, etc. These people do not have to compete against one another for their basic survival. They are better educated, healthier and more prosperous, as a whole, than we are. If "love thy neighbor" is the mark of a Christian nation, then Finland, this year, is the MOST Christian nation of all. America is not even on the chart for that award. If I had known about this when I was younger, I could easily see myself moving to Finland or Denmark, which captured the award for 3 years running.

America is undergoing a huge revolution. While the current American leadership is more corrupt, dishonest and vulgar than we have ever seen, it HAS done us the favor of bringing a lot of ugliness to light. People with bigoted, racist and classist ideas have heard Trump's dog whistles and, sensing that it is safe to crawl out of the dark, have become emboldened in their prejudices, flinging the covers aside in an appalling display. After Trump said that the Nazis were also "very good people," white supremacist groups were responsible for a sudden uptick of violence. Now that they have been flushed into the clearing, we know the job that lays ahead of us.

Having grown up in they 60's - the era of peace, love and equality - I really had no idea there were so many people with such despicable opinions. Now that we are aware, however, we can work together to restore our American dignity of purpose and philosophy.

So, puhleeeze, people - if you happen to interact with someone who is a different color, or disabled, or older, or in some other way different from you, don't assume that they are less intelligent, less valuable or have less to offer the world than you do. Don't assume that someone who is poor is living on "welfare." We need to treat every other person as our peer, regardless of financial status.

We have a lot of work to do in our Christian walk.I will continue to try to educate the arrogant and advocate for the poor, even if I am the stupidest girl in the room. Please join me.

Silver Rose Parnell
Copyright (c) 2018
All rights reserved.

REVIEW - VICTORIAN SLUM HOUSE - PBS

The cast of "VICTORIAN SLUM HOUSE"

PBS

Some people in America justify cuts to social programs by claiming that individuals and churches will take up the slack. They claim that no one should be "forced" to help the poor through the payment of taxes, and that it should be done by free will.

These people ignore the historical reality of what really happened the last time we left it up to the churches.

Watch Victorian Slum House on PBS and take a look at the horrific conditions in which these people had to live and toil.

In this case, it is in England. The "cast" are not actors, but British people whose ancestors lived in the slums during the Victorian era. It is a reality show with a tremendous amount of educational opportunity for young and old alike.

It isn't the jolliest thing you could watch on television, but I find myself riveted by it.

It may just touch the stony hearts of Americans with a "sink or swim" or "dog eat dog" vision of the world.

Check it out.

Silver Rose

EHLERS-DANLOS SYNDROME - THE CAUSE OF A HUNDRED MYSTERIES - Updated July, 2024)

Silver S. Parnell

2020

Age 66

NO ONE HAS X-RAY VISION

This is one of those posts that I write, not for myself, but for the thousands of people I represent. I hope to encourage people not to judge the sufferings of others by simply looking at the person. No one has x-ray vision. No one can miraculously feel the pain that is being endured by any other person, especially in a world in which people are punished for expressing pain and suffering, and many of us put on a brave face and a smile, just to keep from being criticized harshly.

Just the other day, I  told a neighbor of a difficulty I was having, in response to her question about how I was doing. Instead of being sympathetic and understanding, she got on her soap box and started lecturing me about how I should not feel this pain, how I should pretend I have no suffering, and how I should not tell anyone the truth.

This is so tedious.

BUT PEOPLE WILL JUDGE

There is much advice from judgmental folk that advocates for putting on a sunny face, but the majority of the Biblical injunctions when dealing with suffering say that we are to be sympathetic, to be loving, to be like Jesus. Jesus said to serve one another. He said to treat one another as we would wish to be treated. The Old Testament advised us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those that mourn.

No one wants to be lectured when they are in pain. No one wants or needs advice when we are depressed or hurting, but we live in a judgmental, selfish world. It is SO much easier to criticize the pain of other people than it is to do anything to help alleviate it. 

OLDER THAN I LOOK

I write about my personal experiences so that you all my extrapolate my experiences to include those of millions of American sufferers of a mostly hidden, inherited disease.

My whole adult life, people have been telling me that I look very young for my age. The other day, my bathing assistant reacted with great surprise when I told her my age. Many people would be thrilled with this state of affairs, but looking young for one's age CAN be the sign of a little-known syndrome called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (named after the researchers who pinned this down. I wish scientists wouldn't do this. It just makes it difficult on all those of us who have to wrap our mouths around the name. Why didn't they call this super bendy disease or circus girl syndrome.)

IDLE CURIOSITY OR IDLE JUDGMENT?

Many people have expressed curiosity about my disability status. I think part of the curiosity (which, in some people, is actually judgmental suspicion in nicer clothes) is that I just don't LOOK like I am disabled. I look great, apart from being fluffier than what is fashionable in this era, but you can't see pain, you can't see fatigue, you can't see the mutated genes or the multiple body parts that are composed of collagen, which is malfunctioning, due to the mutations.

LOTS OF BROKEN BONES

When I was about 9, I was standing in a field, watching some other kids play baseball. I had been standing too long when I started to feel a sudden increase of weakness in my knees and ankles. This wasn't new to me. I'd been dealing with persistent fatigue and loose joints my whole life. Usually, I would sit down at this point, but there was nowhere to go.

Mom, I need to sit down," I said to my mother, tugging on her shirtsleeve. A diffident woman who never liked me much, she just looked at me and made a face. My ankles gave way and I fell to the ground. I broke my elbow that time. In the next few years, I would go on to break the metatarsal bones in my left foot 5 times, wearing a cast on my foot each time. That foot is a different size and width from my other foot today, and because it is longer than the right foot, I have a hammer toe that happened overnight, it seems to me.

I was 13 before I had enough control over my muscles to know how to avoid the fatigue and falling that the bendy tendons, ligaments, and the rest of the connective tissue structures would cause. We were a long time away from learning about this rare condition, and I didn't really put conscious effort into getting control of my body. It is just one of those things that you DO when you inhabit human form. When you're a kid, you learn to ride that thing.

NOT DESTINED FOR THE CATWALK

I am not sure why I ended up being one of the sufferers of EDS and related genetic disorders. I just remember eating the same or less than my sister. She was skinny. I was tubby. It was weird. Losing weight has always been particularly challenging, as I have to practically starve myself to pare down, and the weight comes right back on my frame, with seemingly little effort.

Because of the loose joints, due to overly stretchy and "double" joints, I was never able to wear heels. I was overjoyed when Birkenstocks became popular. They are very expensive, however, and many of the styles do not fit me because of my wide forefoot.

Because of the foot issues, the style of clothing I could wear was dictated by the Birkenstock shoes. I had to be REAL creative about it. Sometimes I could find men's boots that came in wide enough sizes to fit me, so for a long time, I wore pants and cowboy boots or jodhpurs. This suited me fine when I was riding 4 hours a day in boarding school. But I can also remember hand cutting and sewing "maxi dresses" to the floor, made from Indian cotton fabric, printed in paisleys.

The entire trajectory of my life was determined by my wonky feet and my hypermobility spectrum disorder. I couldn't have changed much about it. Thank goodness I had some modesty and preferred to dress with some actual clothes, rather than the sky-high heels and short dresses that became popular at the waning of the hippie era.

SHAKE YOUR TAIL FEATHERS

I began working when I was 11, in 1965, but in my 30's, most of you will remember that I was a religious, where I was a nun, searching for peace, in a Hindu convent (which is where I read about Jesus and became converted to Him!) While cooking one day, I fell right on my tailbone and cracked it but good, smack dab on the hard Mexican tiles. With the already existing scoliosis at the hip, previously broken tailbone, and chronic back trauma, I was in terrible shape. In fact, I had to be scooted around in a wheelchair which, evidently, the other nuns really resented because the head of the convent went to the Swami in charge and told him that I was "faking it," in her words. She knew nothing, of course, and hadn't so much as questioned me or the doctors, nor had she seen the X-rays that clearly showed the multiple issues. I suppose she thought I looked just fine and decided I was "malingering."

In the Catholic faith, gossip is actually a collection of different sins. In these circumstances, it would be considered a "mortal" sin. The Vedantists don't believe in sin, however. Lucky break for those nuns because my name was in their mouths far too often. I used to think I was especially despised by them, and it puzzled me, because I loved them. But, many years later, I now know that women just gossip. Nearly every woman I have ever met has been a gossip - except my friend Jane and a small handful of people who keep their own counsel.

I left that convent, just positive that I was going to find a lovely Catholic community. All I had to do was find a Catholic Church, join the RCIA class, get baptized, and I would be golden.  But people are people everywhere

One of the Ehlers-Danlos websites pointed out this tendency of others to judge harshly those who are afflicted with this syndrome, as looks can be deceiving and some people really DO prefer to judge a book by its cover. Although EDS and related genetic disorders are not curable, I feel wonderful knowing that I am vindicated, after years of people treating me unkindly as a result of this illness.

LOOKING GOOD AND FEELING BAD

The pain of EDS and related genetic disorders, in particular, is far greater than what one would expect upon examination of the x-rays of the osteo-arthritis that shows up rather early in life. That is because only part of the pain is related to the bone-on-bone pain of the arthritis itself. Some of it stems from muscular stress and injury caused by the muscles having to do the work that ligaments and tendons are supposed to be doing. Some of it is caused by the syndrome itself, which is somewhat related to fibromyalgia. There are new studies on the pain aspect of EDS, and more news should be coming up about that aspect fairly soon, I would bet. The related hypermobility spectrum disorder will be affected, as well, I would think.

DEPRESSION

Depression is also one of the symptoms, though it does not appear to be situational, but rather a chemical function arising out of the mutations of the genes that cause this illness.  I read an article recently that was too far above my comprehension. Something about brain chemistry was discussed in relation to the depression. It is not the typical depression, and I think that there may be some specific anti-depressants that would be called for, under these circumstances. FORTUNATELY, I am able to fight the depression with prayer and meditation. It doesn't "fix" it, but I am remarkably cheerful, considering everything I endure.

During the course of my reading about Ehlers-Danlos and related genetic syndromes, I began to learn about the lesser-known presentations in some forms of this disease, I felt like I was making check marks on a looooong list of weird physical symptoms that had hounded me my entire life, starting in early childhood.

DENTAL MALFORMATIONS

A high palate and "crowded teeth" are another common feature of those with EDS, and I have that as well! When I was a child, they wanted to pull 4 teeth to solve the crowding issue.

SIX VERSIONS OF EDS

My doctor and I are still comparing notes between my symptoms and the research. We have not pinned down WHICH version I have, because testing was not available at the time my hypermobility spectrum disorder was diagnosed, but it appears obvious that, of the 6 different types of EDS, I seem to have the most common form of it, the hypermobility type, which is being called hypermobility spectrum disorder at this time. I could also have another version that involves the heart, but funding for the genetic testing was not available when I went to see the specialist for my EDS.  Hypermobility spectrum disorder is "less severe" which probably accounts for the long time in which it has taken for me to be diagnosed. I've always known there was something, in particular, that was wrong with me....something that would explain the physical problems that have caused me such pain and inconvenience my whole life, but I don't think that the doctors have been terribly interested in diagnosing. These days, it seems that medicine has to be fixated on dealing with the symptoms, since insurance companies pressure doctors to handle many more patients than is probably good for us.

Frankly, my diagnosis was fueled entirely by my curiosity and the fact that I am an experienced researcher. I was motivated and just happened to hit upon the right websites. Once my doctor was alerted to my symptoms dating back to childhood, however, he jumped right on board. We are all happy to have an explanation of my complaints.

YOGA MASTER

My experience of EDS was initially "tipped off" by extreme double-jointedness in my whole body. Even though I am in my 60's, I am still really bendy! I can bend over and touch my palms to the floor without bending my knees. Makes for a great showing in a yoga class, but can lead to lots of sprains, strains, falls and breaks, which is what I had my entire life, starting in early childhood.

If you have EDS or hypermobility spectrum disorder, DON'T do yoga!  That's the worst type of exercise you can do. Strength training and aerobics are OK, especially the strength training, because your muscles have to make up for what your tendons can't do.

CLUMSY KID

Children with EDS or hypermobility spectrum disorder are often accused of being "clumsy," and that is because they have not yet developed the motor skills necessary to take over where the tendons and ligaments are loose. Even today, I have to move slowly and do all my physical activities very deliberately, otherwise, I am prone to tripping, falling, dropping things, and breaking many items.

Before I was 5 years old, I remember my parents calling the doctor to come out to the house in the middle of the night because I was having terrible pain in both legs, starting from the hips on down. The doctor diagnosed them as "growing pains," but now I read on various EDS websites that many sufferers of this disease have those awful leg pains as children. The explanation is that the effort needed by the muscles to take over for what the ligaments and tendons are supposed to do causes terrible muscular pains and spasms.

ARTHRITIS AND ALLERGIES

(Asthma and multiple allergies are also common in people with EDS. I remember the doctor coming out to the house for THOSE issues also.)

My tendons, cartilage, ligaments and all the other things that are supposed to hold my joints together are unreliable and let me just fall where I may. I remember once when I was about 10, I was standing in the back yard, just watching other kids playing, when my left ankle gave way and I fell to the ground, breaking my right elbow.

SUPER BENDY DISEASE AND PURPLE VEINS

By the time I was 11, I'd had 5 casts on my left foot, having broken numerous bones from falling as a result of my ankle just giving way. At the same time, I developed severe varicose veins before the age of 13. I have had MANY sprains and strains of my ankles, which is common with EDS and with the hypermobility spectrum disorder.

NARROW HEELS AND FLAT FEET

I've never been able to find shoes with any ease, since I had bunions while still very young, extremely wide feet with narrow heels, and flat feet. The collagen-based structures could not hold my feet together in the way that they do in normal people.

BRUSH YOUR TEETH CAREFULLY

Likewise, nothing could hold my spine in place when I was brushing my teeth too vigorously one morning when I was about 24 years old, and my back went into horrific spasms. I missed at least a week of work and was put on strong muscle relaxers.

I CAN'T STAND THIS JOB

The veins in my leg, in addition to being varicose, also have defective valves that cannot push the blood back up to the heart. Consequently, I've never been able to hold a job that involved any standing. In my early 20's, I got a job at Nordstrom's in a mall in Los Angeles. I was excited about getting a 40% discount off any clothes I would buy, but I only lasted 4 days. My job should not have been physically taxing for a young, thin, and "apparently" healthy woman, but it caused me extreme pain in my legs and hips and, by the end of those 4 days, I became bedridden and stayed there for more than a week!

JUST LIKE MY DAD

One of my legs is longer than the other, not by much, but this was confirmed by more than one chiropractor. My father had the same problem. This brings up the fact that this disease is inherited from one's parent or parents.

BUILT LIKE A SPIDER

Purchasing clothing has always been particularly difficult, especially when trying to buy pants because my extremities are too long for my torso. This is quite common. Usually, the fingers are also very long, but I did not inherit that aspect. I am really tired of my arms popping out of the sleeves of all my shirts and my pants looking like I am going to a flood. In the early 1970's, you used to be able to buy all sorts of slacks and blue jeans that were not hemmed because some women were wearing sky-high platform shoes, I suppose.

Due to a very short torso, not only are the pant legs too short, but the "waist" of all pants rides up to my arm pits...just one of the several reasons that I prefer to wear dresses, rather than pants. "Maxi dresses" are never long enough, though. If they fit in the bodice, they're at least 4 inches too short in the length. This is really inconvenient because I am keen to hide all those ugly varicose and spider veins.

I DON'T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS

When I was 10 years old, I was reading my mother's library of books. My parents never bothered to buy us children's books. I was reading Shakespeare's complete works and Somerset Maugham and O'Henry, but at school I was getting D's. It was decided that my vision was the problem, so my mother took me to the optometrist who asked me, "read the top letter on the eye chart."

I said, "What eye chart?"

It turns out that, due to the fact that the human eye is made almost entirely of collagen, people with EDS are often extremely nearsighted, with multiple astigmatisms, floaters and cataracts. Operating on the cataracts may not be recommended, however, due to poor wound healing. Also, I have macular degeneration, from which I have already become blind in one eye. Without glasses, I am legally blind and have been since a child.

FOUR EYES ARE NOT ENOUGH

I must wear glasses constantly, changing from one version to another, to accommodate different vision issues, depending on whether I am reading, writing, watching television, going outside in the sun. It is extremely important to protect my eyes from all glare and sunshine so I never have to make a decision about whether or not to have surgery on my eyes.

My eyeglasses HAVE to have adjustable nose bridges because, like many EDS sufferers, I have an extremely narrow bridge. For some, their entire nose is quite skinny. I can't take advantage of the low-cost eyeglasses that are advertised on television all the time, as they're all plastic, and even the little eyeglass patches with adhesive on them won't keep the plastic glasses from sliding down to the tip of my nose.

WAKING UP DURING SURGERY

Local anesthesia often doesn't work on people with EDS, something that doesn't surprise me at all, but which surprised the last dentist I saw, many years ago. By the time he finished shooting me with novacaine, the first shot had already worn off. After that experience, I had to get all my work done with a dental surgeon who would put me out.

Last year, I had surgery on one of my fingers. There was a growth that turned out to be benign. The anesthesiologist refused to believe that local anesthesia does not work for me, and dismissed my constant complaints with a paternal, condescending manner. I ended up waking up twice during surgery! The anesthesiologist's resident, not expecting me to wake and see what he was doing, was reading his email on his telephone! I told him, "Hey! I'm awake! Put me back to sleep!"  He did so, without a glance in my direction or an apology.

While the written post-surgery directions told me that I wouldn't have use of my arm until many hours after surgery, my use and function on that arm was completely normal when I woke from surgery (for the last time.) At the time of this surgery, I was unaware of EDS. My negative experiences with this surgery could have been alleviated, had I known.

FACE CREAM NOT NECESSARY

There are some dermatological signs in EDS, and I have very slight presentations in this regard. Soft, velvety skin is one sign. Super stretchy skin is another, which I did not not seem to have when I was younger, but as I edit this blog in 2024, the super-stretchy skin has appeared, especially now that I have lost at least 40 pounds since writing this post.) An odd type of scar formation is present in many, and I have a bit of this, having somewhat delicate skin. I STILL have a scar from a slight injury on my tricycle when I was 5 years old. These scars tend to widen and whiten. They're called cigarette paper scars.

Scoliosis is common in EDS. I have that as well as sciatic issues, which is equally common.

FAINTING SPELLS

A tendency to faint is another symptom, as is fatigue, especially when one adopts a position for too long of a time. Like sharks, we must keep moving.

For the last month, I have been suffering from incessant vertigo, dizziness, a feeling of faintness, fatigue and sleepiness. This is why the nurses have been coming to care for me, as well as an attendant, who helps me bathe. Some day soon, I hope to have a housekeeper who may cook, clean and take me on errands. AFFORDING it may be an issue, though I am pleading for assistance through Medicare. We shall see what they say. (UPDATE: 2024 - I was approved for a Medicaid waiver for the aged and disabled. So far, they have provided me with an electric wheelchair and a part-time attendant.)

A scooter is also a piece of equipment that I will be needing immediately, as is a large bendable bed for the bendy hermit. Though Medicare MAY pay for portions of these items, I will need to pay portions of it. (UPDATE, 2024: I am now in an electric wheelchair any time I have to walk more than a few feet.)

MOVE TO ANOTHER LOCATION IS URGENTLY NECESSARY

I also need to move to a hermitage that addresses my physical and spiritual needs, ESPECIALLY since my current Landlord is hostile toward the disabled and has given me a terrible time with regard to reasonable accommodations that I need in order to function. (UPDATE, 2024: Managers keep telling me that "it isn't fair" for me to have anything that other residents do not have, completely ignoring fair housing regulations. At this time they are removing my parking from in front of my garage to give it to able-bodied construction workers for their convenient parking.)

Anyone able to help financially, please click on the DONATION button on the top, right-hand side of this blog.

HOME SWEET HOME

All others, I beg for your prayers. Please ask for a small house with its own fenced yard for the service dog, very close to the church which our Lord wishes me to attend; a car with a lift meant for the transport of my electric wheelchair; new eyeglasses; and dental work.

The three sets of eyeglasses that I need will cost half a month's income. Obviously, this is beyond my capacity.

There is no cure for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome or the related syndromes, but pain and other issues may be addressed. I have faith in your prayers.

Anyone wishing to gather more information about Ehlers-Danlos, please refer to THE EHLERS-DANLOS SOCIETY

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

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